"IT'S YOUR WEDDING, my dear," the Empress murmured. "You can do what you want about it. You don't need to ask us, you know."

  "Huang e'niang, it is only right," Irina replied with a small smile. "You are zhang bei."

  The Empress shook her head. "What a good child. You are well, I hope? Not shocked by the poisoning? I heard that Generaal Lan is well and stable. She is extremely fortunate she did not drink all the poison. It would be a terrible tragedy if anything had happened to her. She is so young and full of potential."

  "Aye, e'niang, I am very glad she's alright."

  The Emperor was busy, so Irina chose not to bother him and instead directly met with the Empress and Ryan. Ryan sat by the side, looking pensive. "It's a bit annoying, the fact that we still haven't found who it is."

  "We're working hard on it." Irina raised her chin. "We've already locked down the suspect—a dark skinned maid. We're trying to have our sources in the Hrishnans find more information right now. It's going slowly, but we'll find something eventually."

  "I have every faith in that," the Empress nodded. "But be careful, in case they decide to strike again. I've already ordered more guards around the Palace, I could set a couple for you if you want, since General Lan is down."

  Justine was the leader of her personal guard, technically in charge of her safety. Clearly, Justine had done an excellent job keeping her safe, however accidentally. The thought would almost be amusing if Justine hadn't actually been poisoned. A stab wound would have been easier to deal with, the culprit easier to catch.

  "It's fine, huang e'niang. My friends are almost always with me. And I highly doubt they're going to try anything blatant within the Palace."

  "Outside, though?" The Empress asked. "I'll send for more guards to be prepared around Luo Yun Garden. I know what you think, that they'll be somewhere they're not familiar with. But most likely the person we're searching for isn't used to the Palace either. It does not in any way prevent them from striking, simply disorients them a little. And it also prepares a chance for them to attack you again. I don't think they'd so happily halt their mission after one failed exam." She straightened, patting her hair sleeves.

  "I'm aware, I'll be careful," Irina promised. She would be. She was always careful.

  Ryan said, "I believe that's the one thing you never have to be worried about regarding her, huang e'niang. She's extremely cautious and paranoid, perhaps a bit too much so."

  Irina coughed. "I do not believe that is a bad thing for a public figure."

  "Caution?" the Empress questioned, "no. Paranoia? Yes. There have been many a leader who mistakenly executed a loyal follower because of unfounded suspicions regarding their loyalty. You do not want to follow in their paths, Longyu."

  "I shall not, huang e'niang. I'm careful, not idiotic."

  The Empress huffed. "Don't think I'm luo suo."

  "I do not find you irritating or your lessons unnecessary, huang e'niang. I simply do not want you to worry about me when you don't need to." Irina knew that all these words came from the bottom of her heart, because she wanted Irina to be careful—because she'd always treated Irina like her own after the death of Irina's mother, who'd been her dearest friend, and her father, who'd been her brother-in-law. But truly, sometimes, adults just needed to have a little faith, a little trust in their descendants.

  It wasn't that hard. Irina had proven herself perfectly capable for twenty-two years, she could manage at least twenty-two more. She flashed the Empress her most confident and reassuring smile. "I'll set Lady Mai on the planning. I will need to focus on the wedding itself, I'm sure she can handle it for me."

  The Empress nodded. "Lady Mai is trustworthy and reliable." She shot Ryan a glare. "I wonder if you could find such good friends."

  Ryan glowered. "Lord North Cheng is perfectly well, huang e'niang."

  "But look at what Colonel Man has been doing to that poor girl! Miss Li, that's her name? I notice these things, you know. You ought to talk to him about it."

  "It's not my position," Ryan winced. "It's his life, unfortunately, and it's not my place to interfere. I wish I could too."

  "You could say something, as a friend," the Empress shook her head, "but you won't because you don't want to ruin your friendship. Well, you're all ruining a poor little girl's life! If this carries on, I'll do something about it."

  But that was an empty threat, because they all knew they could not interfere. They did not want to have a reputation of meddling with their nobility's private affairs, which was what this was. An alliance between the Man and the Lis neither children in the marriage proposed wanted to go through with. That was how things tended to go. Somewhat even for herself. Wasn't that depressing?

  "I'll try to convince him," was what Ryan replied quietly, even though all three of them knew it wasn't going to happen. Ryan truly did not want to step into this. And truth be told, neither did Irina. Jia shi bu chuan wai ren. It was a family matter, meant to be private. Kept hidden from people outside. The fact that it was known all around was humiliating for both families within itself, and most especially for Naeva, the centre of it all. The one the groom did not want. The abandoned. The unwanted.

  Irina shut her eyes. "I've offered to look out for Naeva, but she insists on carving her own path."

  The Empress sighed and shook her head. "A brave child, but a stupid one."

  "Aye."

  That was Naeva. Stubborn to the core, full of determination. She wanted to strike back, wanted to prove them wrong, but she couldn't alone. And she didn't want help. And Irina had already gone against enough of her friends' wishes to know that it never went well.

  So for once in her life she stayed put and watched. Chose to be a spectator, rather than a participant.

  She hoped dearly she would not regret it.

  (She probably would, because that's the way life usually works, but she could cross her fingers and pray it didn't go wrong or ridiculously drastically. Because both Naeva and Malcolm were people who could be forced to take drastic measures when necessary.)

  (And she wouldn't be here to stop them.)

  "Well," the Empress murmured, "this isn't why we're here today. It's a matter for another time, but you will have to deal with it eventually, Ruge. It's your friend, and your future court. And I will not have Miss Li's entire youth wasted away because your friend is so feng liu." Feng liu. Someone who chased after the excitement, spent their days in the arms of different womens, and chose the life of a hedonist. It wasn't Malcolm precisely—he still worked hard when he needed to, but his personal life was messy.

  "You're acquainted with Miss Li?" Ryan questioned, a hint of mocking in his tone. Why are you caring so much about a girl you don't even know?

  The Empress glared. "Oh, shut it, boy. She's one of the Duchess of Shui Xiang's girls, and a student of Yixin's." Yixin. The Empress was probably the only person left who still called Lady Kuroki that, along with Asteria's mother, who was Lady Kuroki's sister. When she'd married an Asayaman baron, she'd changed her name from the Saian Yixin to the Asayaman Ichiko. "That speaks well for her character and intelligence. And it's not as if you don't know that I was trifled with before I married your father."

  That was something they'd all heard of, but no one ever dared ask. The Empress had once been engaged to another man, someone who'd cruelly rejected her the day before the wedding to run off with a qinglou girl. It had been news then—a man courting the daughter of an earl, running away with a mere courtesan? And it had, from what Irina had heard, put the Empress's reputation into the dust.

  The Emperor and Empress grew up together. They were qingmeizhuma, childhood friends, and the Emperor had fancied the Empress for many years. But he'd always kept quiet about it, not wanting to associate her with him—by then the Emperor of the old dynasty had been suspicious and paranoid of the current Emperor's family, then his maternal cousin, for a while. One wrong move, and they might have all lost their heads.

  "I do," Ryan said earnestly. "But you underestimate Naeva, huang e'niang. You said it yourself. She's a student of Lady Kuroki and a protege of the Duchess of Shui Xiang. She is more than capable of handling herself."

  "I hear the things the other ladies say about her," the Empress said stubbornly, shaking her head. "If she is capable of handling this situation, I don't think half of those things would be leaving their mouth. It is not that I think she is weak, I simply think she is too young, inexperienced, and doesn't have enough power."

  And Irina suddenly got it, while the Empress cared so much. Because the Empress looked at Naeva and saw a younger version of herself. Lacking a powerful background, with no one to back her up, victims of a cruel court and its vultures, preying on the weak. Empress Qiu may seem like she had all the glory and power now, but she was once just the daughter of an averagely influential chancellor. She would not have been ever seen as a good match for the son of a guo jiu, the brother of the former Empress, if not for the fact that they'd grown up together. Especially not with her tarnished reputation.

  That was a true love match. Against all odds, against ranks and titles and the cynicism of the world. Irina admired that, even though she didn't particularly want it.

  Ryan still didn't get it, she could tell, but she was far too tired to explain to him. Instead she dipped her head and said, "I'll try my best to help Miss Li out. Don't you worry, I won't let her get hurt."

  The Empress's dark eyes turned to her. "I think she's already hurt more than enough, my dear. But as I've said, this is not the topic we should be discussing today. The wedding is in six days."

  Irina's eyes fluttered shut. "Yes, huang e'niang."

  "How do you feel? Nervous? Worried? Is everything prepared? Is there anything you'd like to change?"

  Irina shook her head. "I'm fine. I'm... not that worried. Prince Stephen is kind, he'll treat me well."

  "You are certain? I can send a few of the momo around me with you, just to help you settle in. Zhu momo's daughter married an Arecian businessman, you know, and she doesn't mind going with you since that would mean she'd be able to visit her daughter anyways. Zhu momo is very wise, she can be a worthy asset to you in Arecia while you're settling down."

  "I'll be fine, huang e'niang," Irina said firmly. "Have some faith in me, do you think I won't be able to handle this?"

  The Empress bit her lip. "You've already suffered enough for a girl... I know this is so much to ask of you, such a great sacrifice, and I just want to make sure you'll be as comfortable as possible."

  "It's fine," Ryan said softly. "Irina can handle herself. Believe in her. She's one of the smartest people I know."

  Irina sent Ryan a grateful look. He nodded reassuringly in return.

  "Do not dismiss my care like that," the Empress growled. "Oh, you kids. You'll understand when you have your own children. Enjoy this carefree life of yours while you can, you won't have it forever."

  "I could just not—"

  "And do not say you won't have children," the Empress pointed a glare at her, "you are to become the future Queen of Arecia. Whether you like it or not, you're going to need to at least have one child. Minimum. Heir and spare, Longyu."

  "I'll have nannies."

  "Does not matter. They're still your flesh and blood. You will be responsible for them in the end, even if you have someone else look after their wellbeing while growing up." The Empress shook her head. "I'd explain it all to you if I could, but it would be best for you to live through it all yourself. You too, Ruge, don't look so smug."

  "I am not the one, huang e'niang, with qualms about marrying or having children."

  "Because nothing would change for you once you did all of those things," Irina said curtly.

  The Empress turned back to her. "Is that what you think? That you'd have to give everything else once you started a family? Because it's not. Look at Lady Kuroki, for example."

  "She's a widow, huang e'niang, and she has no children. Of course she can still live like that." Irina shrugged. "It's my fate. The moment we took this throne, it was set in stone that I'd eventually have to live like this. I'm already extremely grateful for the things I've been able to experience."

  "Heavens, child, it's not a death sentence." The Empress pinched her nose. "You are to be a Queen. A queen still has her duty. Her political power. And even past that, power within your household. Do you know how massive your household would be even now, as a princess? Ten times bigger than what you have right now, I assure you. Dozens, if not hundreds of servants, all under your jurisdiction. Believe me, you'll be finding yourself barely having time to deal with politics after it all."

  "Huang e'niang, politics is not something I dabble with because I'm bored. It's my passion. I'm good at it. I want to continue being a leader and making Sai a better place."

  "Your very presence in Arecia will be political," the Empress said firmly, raising her chin. "Your every move will be scrutinised. Every word you utter will be analysed like a piece of literature, Longyu. You are still playing the same game, just in a different role."

  "From a chessmaster to a chess piece."

  Ryan, wisely, had made himself invisible and irrelevant in this conversation long ago. He knew it was not his place to interfere. It was funny, how high up there they were, yet unable to help with the simple things. Their hands were still bound, perhaps even more than ordinary people.

  The Empress was not able to let Ryan get away, though, as her eyes flickered to her son. "I thought you said that she's thought it through!"

  "This is her having thought it through," Ryan winced. "She's still going to complain about it, but she's accepted it. At least she's not threatening to run away anymore."

  Irina mused, "I did that?"

  Ryan slanted her the deadest look. "Two years ago, when it was first suggested. You told us you'd rather give away your title, run away, or never see the sun again."

  "I did that," Irina repeated, albeit this time with wonder rather than confusion.

  Ryan turned back to his mother. "If you don't talk about it, she won't complain about it. It's that simple."

  "But then she'll just keep it inside her! That's even worse!"

  Irina deadpanned, "I hate to say it, truly, but I'm sitting right here. And I can hear everything you two are saying."

  She was ignored, as expected. The mother and son duo were already far too engrossed in their discussion of her mental health, and whether or not it was wise to continue trying to talk to her about the advantages of marrying Stephen, even though she'd already agreed to it and the wedding was in six days. Why did people always like to create problems when there were no problems to be found?

  But she stayed quiet, because talking now would mean her getting dragged into the conversation as well, which surely would evolve into an argument sometime soon.

  And then, the sound of salvation: "Huang shang jia dao!" The Emperor has arrived!

  The Emperor was back, and right outside. A moment later he stepped in, frowning as he regarded the three of them. "You've been arguing," he deduced immediately. "About what, this time?"

  Irina curtsied. "My mental state, fuhuang."

  "Ah," the Emperor took two strides forward, sighing as he sat down beside his wife. "The wedding?"

  "I'm not worried about it, but huang e'niang and Ruge seem to disagree with how I perceive my own emotions."

  "Longyu!" The Empress turned to her with narrowed eyes. "Don't be like this. We worry about you, that's all!"

  "I'm perfectly alright, you truly do not need to worry about me."

  "Just listen to her," the Emperor huffed. "You, my dear, you worry too much. And you," he turned to Ruge, "you know your cousin perfectly well. Do you really think you of all people need to worry about her? I feel like she should be the one worrying about you. Twenty-four and you still don't have a bride, or even someone who could be your bride. When are you going to wait, hmm? Most men my age are already preparing to hold their grandchildren. Me? My son remains unmarried. My daughter is just about to get married."

  "Well," the Empress said, "we have higher standards, to be fair. And Irina could have been wedded off years ago, but she couldn't just be married off to anyone, could she? We had to pick carefully who her fuma would be."

  "And my bride," Ryan said drily, "would not only be the mother of your grandchildren, but also the future Empress of Sai. I think I've made the correct choice in being cautious so far."

  "A few years ago, I'd tell you that if it all came down to that, you could marry Asteria. But that's out of the picture now." Irina flashed a grin. "Start searching, dear cousin."

  "I'm sure you have some suggestions?" the Empress asked hopefully. "Longyu? Are there any ladies who you think are good choices?"

  "The best ones are taken," Irina winced. "Rather unfortunately. Lu Junya and the Dugu sisters are all taken. I suppose there's Mai Zimi..."

  There was no hesitation from Ryan's side. "No. She's far too soft."

  "She's nowhere as soft as you think," Irina murmured. "She's a survivor. She's also far smarter than you give her credit for."

  "Still," Ryan said, shaking his head. "Is there no one else? People outside your immediate circle?"

  "If I think of them that highly, they'd be in my personal circle, Ryan. And it's not as if you're about to marry Justine."

  "It's not that I'm not willing to, it's more that I think she'd rather carve her own heart out than become a princess, or god forbid an Empress in god knows how long." He flashed a little grin at his mother, who smiled in return.

  "There are those of us," the Emperor drawled, "who belong in the field of politics. Those of us who belong on the grounds of battle. And of course, the rare few who fit in both. I'm afraid General Lan is not among the last, though."

  "She'd rather gouge her own eyes out," Irina assured. "So, Ruge, I'm afraid I don't have any good suggestions for you."

  "I don't get what's wrong with Lady Mai," the Empress huffed. "She's a good girl. Very capable, very responsible. She's helped Irina get her entire life perfectly well together, and she's used to living in court. Barely anything would change."

  "She is not suitable for leadership positions," Ryan seethed. "Anyone but her, huang e'niang."

  Irina agreed, partially. She agreed that Myrina was not built for that kind of position, because she hated being the centre of attention. She despised being noticed, being put anywhere where lots of people would be able to see or criticise her. Irina thought Myrina needed to break out of her shell, definitely, but it didn't mean she thought Myrina was suitable to be thrusted into the most spoken about, all-to-see position of all. Myrina was smart. She was quick-witted, and she was nowhere as soft and malleable as Ryan thought she was. She could be stubborn, and she was determined and brave. But that wasn't enough.

  And Myrina was still her friend, so Irina shot back, "I'm not sure she would agree even if you proposed, Ruge."

  "Now, now," the Emperor frowned, waving his hand in the air. "Let's all calm down now, yes? No point being so angry over hypothetical situations. Let's focus on the future. Why are you both here anyways?"

  "Longyu wants to host a luncheon at Luo Yun Garden to lure the poisoner out," the Empress explained. "I think it's a brilliant idea, and it provides some entertainment and relaxation for our guests after the stressful events of the poisoning. Don't you agree, dear?"

  "I think it sounds perfectly good. When, though?"

  "Two days," Irina replied. "I'll set Myrina onto it." As if she hadn't already. But she had to at least sound like she'd waited for permission before starting on it all. It was basic politeness and filial piety. The most highly praised and regarded Saian quality. She'd been told since she was a babe—xiao shun zhang bei. Treat your elders with respect, especially those in your family.

  And Irina had always prided herself on being the perfect daughter. When she wasn't even biological, she knew she had to work. She had to work hard if she wanted to be anything more than just the Emperor's niece who was adopted because her parents died. She wanted to be a person of her own, someone whose name people remembered.

  And she did. She succeeded. She was proud of that.

  "That works, I'll have servants tell people about it whenever you're ready. Preferably tomorrow morning, don't wait until it's too late. People need to get ready for events like those, you know."

  "Of course." She flashed a smile. "I'll make sure everything's planned out by tonight so that the invitations could be sent out early tomorrow. Wouldn't want to catch anyone by surprise."

  "How's progress regarding the poisoner?' the Emperor asked. "The Duke of Shui Xiang has been working on it, but he said that he's mainly leaving it for you to handle, since you were the target."

  "We have a profile of the suspect," Irina said. "It's mostly why I'm hosting this luncheon anyways. The dinners may be cancelled, but I need a chance for everyone to be gathered together, to be around the same place. For one, they might be tempted to strike again. If not, at least we could take a proper look at a majority of the guests."

  "Sounds good enough," the Emperor nodded. "I'll send someone to Luo Yun Garden for you so that they are ready. Is there anything else, Longyu?"

  "I do not believe so, fuhuang."

  "General Lan is alright?"

  "Perfectly stable and conscious."

  "That's good." He nodded thoughtfully. "She's a good child. I'm glad you brought her here all those years ago. So much potential would have been wasted."

  "Even if I hadn't brought her with me, I think she'd have enlisted into the army first chance she could," Irina laughed. "Fighting is in her blood."

  "You have told her," the Emperor said slowly, "that should she want to hunt down her birth parents, we're more than willing to provide the resources?"

  "I have. She doesn't want to. It's her choice."

  The Emperor nodded. "Fair enough."

  The Empress shut her eyes. "They abandoned her, poor girl. Imagine leaving a child of that age to live on the streets alone. It's a miracle she even lived so long." She shook her head. "We should have been more careful with her. Sending her onto the battlefield, letting her get poisoned under our roof..."

  "Huang e'niang," Ryan said gently, "she wanted to join the army herself. It's her passion. She's a born leader on the battleground. And the poisoning was out of our control—we had no idea it would even happen. It's not your fault."

  "I still feel responsible," the Empress said, laying her hands on her lap. "Ah well, no chance thinking so much over it now."

  "Now," Irina murmured. "Things without remedy, well, there's simply nothing we can do about it. What's done is done."