WARNING: THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING FUN OF CLICHE STORIES. MMMKAY? MMKAY. EVERYTHING IN HERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN AND JOKING AND CHARACTERS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE OOC (out of character) AND SUCH. JUST BECAUSE I SHOW THINGS HERE DOES NOT MEAN I APPROVE OF DOING SO.

Name: Yuki Akuma

[Sakura: No. Just no.]

Gender: Female

SHSL...?: SHSL Perfection

Age: 15

Looks: Unbelievably.. uh... Attractive, hot, beautiful, pretty. Wavy, blonde hair that falls in perfect sheets- i mean waves- down to her feet and somehow doesnt trip over it, large blinking blue orbs that are sometimes green, perfect curvess and blah blah blah totally a tomboy and wears booty-shorts as well as pink croptops and crap

Personality: usually very bubbly, has the multi-personality disorder and becomes seriously scary and angry when she gets mad. Once you get past her cheery personality, she holds a dark, depressed girl whose's scared.

History: Her dad was abusive and drunk. During a car crash while her dad was drunk, her mom, dad, and two unnamed siblimgs were killed when she was three. She came out unharmed and lived alone ever since.

Weapons: Everything!

Other: her love interests are- Makoto Naegi, Byakuya Togami, Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Chihiro Fujisaki, Human!Monokuma (wait what), Nagito Komaeda, Gundham Tanaka, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu, bUT MOSTLY NAGITO SO YEAH OH AND LEON

Chapter One:

Nagito Komaeda was bored.

Usually, he'd have to lot to do- you know, just find Hajime, or look for someone else to creep out with his hope speeches.

But nope, since this author was too lazy to actually write anything, he was bored.

Of course, the author totally dismissed the fact Nagito was supposed to be in comatose and if not, had about half a year left to live or something like that. Use Wikipedia, dear lord, Nagito thought. Oh wait, this is an AU, nevermi- right. Fourth wall. No comatose.

"Hey, Nagito!" Togami yelled from who knows where. "There's some random girl on the beach!"

Even though Togami usually didn't give a shit about anything besides money.

Nagito looked up from where he was shuffling some cards, despite the fact he was bored like three paragraphs ago. "Why should I care? Does she have hope in her?" He asked curiously, then straightened upright. "Right, the script says...uh, oh, lrt's go help her then!"

Clearly not amused, Nagito looked up. "But what if she's like Junko?" He whined but the author kicked his butt over to the beach.

Everyone was at the beach for some reason. Hajime and Chiaki were holding hands (A/N- sorry Komahina shippers), Fuyuhiko and...was it Peko? That was her name, right? Yeah. Peko. Anyways, they were hugging despite the fact neither of them was a hugg-y person.

The girl was lying face-down in the sand, her brown hair- wait, no, blonde- displayed in a halo in the sand. Togami almost purposely stepped on it, but decided against it and went back to counting his money.

"Whose's she?" Sayaka Maizono que- Wait, why is she here? She's supposed to be dead- well, Leon's here too so oh well.

???'s POV:

I swung myself upright, flicking a single grain of sand from my cheek then beaming at everyone. "Hello ya'll! I'm Yuki Sohma- wait, oops, I'm a massive otaku- I mean, I'm Yuki Akuma."

All their blank faces told me I was hot. Oh wait, I'm supposed to be insecure. What? IM UGLY

I mean, all their blank faces told me I was beautiful- dammit! I meant to say they didn't understand a word I said.

Except the guy at front with fluffy white hair and light grey eyes. He was pretty cute. Oh, wait! I'm supposed to hate him, riiiiiiiiiight. But he was still cute.

"I'm going to completely ignore the fact your name means Snow Demon in Japanese," he said slowly, breaking out in a wide grin. "I'm Nagito Komaeda!"

"My name is actually Yuki Sakura Taco Mary Caleb Bob Moon Spaqlez Double-Cheeseburger Arbys Eveeni Tenwi Charger Cheese-Curds Icetuamah Akuma," I informed him.

Tons of people said hello, and I somehow managed to get and memorize all their names. There was this one bear that turned into this short teenager boy and introduced himself as Monokuma. Weird, but who cares.

I suddenly felt the urge to cry and I did so and fainted.

I woke in a hospital bed for some reason and tilted my head to peer at the boy next to me, who had a scar through his left eye amd black hair which was streaked with grey. Was it dyed? I dunno.

"Hello," he rumbled. "I didn't introduce myself properly, did I...?"

"Oh, you're Gundham Tanaka!"

"...yeah," his deep voice was muffled by the scarf he had tugged up to cover his blushing face. "Gundham Tanaka."

"You're the guy who died in the fourth chapter because you were excuted because you were the murderer of Nekomaru," I piped up. "And the boyfriend of Sonia."

Silence.

"Oh, wait," I mused. "I'm not supposed know about this fandom. Right."

"Cut!" Fuyuhiko screamed, waving one of those black-movie things they use for scenes. "Rewind, rewind- oh, Nekomaru went to the bathroom again...?"

"Yep," Gundham nodded, absently petting a random hamster that probably is one of his.

"Shit, this is still reccording!" The Yakuza cursed before stomping off. "Start back from Gundham's line!"

I nodded falsely. "What's your talent?" I asked despite the fact I knew he was the Ultimate..what was he again?

"Animal Breeder." Ah, that's right.

"I'm the Ultimate All-Star! I'm basically the Ultimate Ultimate. I can do everything!" I chirped.

Fuyuhiko muttered something off in the corner that sounded like 'kill it with fire' before straightening from the OOC disorder that popped out of nowhere and giggling like some crazed otaku fangirl of Levi Ackerman.

"Young Master, put the bazooka away," someone else chided him and I paid no attention to them before laying one hand on top of the Animal Breeder's and absently touching the diamond necklace around my neck. My throat clogged up at the thought of my parents. Sure, I hated my parents- my dad was soooooooo bad, I had a whole house to myself! Just a house, that's it! ONE. HOUSE.

And the crapload of shirts and skirts and dresses he bought at my command because I'm a totally tomboy. And the golden room I have underground along with a mine with tons of diamonds. We're really poor.

"Snow-taco girl you're saying stuff out loud," Naegi sighed, running a hand through his spikey brown hair and blushed when I looked his direction. "I-I-I-I mean, Y-Y-Yuki-chan!"

"Naegi!" Gundham hissed. "This is my scene, goddammit. Get out."

Who cares about the fact Gundham probably curses you with a hex instead  swearing. Plus his whole speech pattern was  toosed out the window. Plus the fatto Byakuya Togami because everyone needs to be hella skinny besides Teruteru bECAUSE FOOD. And Akane would probably kick the author's butt.

Anyway, people started screaming. Naegi and Gundham got in a huge fistfight while Leon jumped in through a window and started punching Gundham while yelling 'WHAT ARE THOOOOOSE' at the top of his lungs.

Fatto Byakuya POV:

Why am I in Inkworld? I swear, I was throwing money at the other Byakuya Togami a few moments ago...oh! There's Dustfinger!

Yuki's POV:

"Wait," Byakuya Togami stopped from where he was about to shove money up Ishimaru's nose. "Where's the last love interest?"

"SHOVING MONEY UP PEOPLE'S NOS-" Togami stuffed it in Ishimaru's mouth.

"Shut up," he replied wearily.

"Where is Nagito?" I wondered out loud, looking down at where Gundham had the human/bear Monokuma thing in an head lock. The Animal Breeder winked at him before Monokuma started screeching about not attacking the princpal. "I hope he's not..."

"DID SOMEONE SAY HOPE?" Nagito shrieked from outside before the door was blown open. In the distance, Nagito flipped up his visor from where he was in a tank.

"No," Fuyuhiko muttered before squirming a bit in Chihiro's grip. "Let go of me, you stupid Programmer!"

"YOU DIDN'T JUST INSULT CHIBAE LIKE THAT," some fangirl screamed. He shrugged in response.

Next to Nagito, Hajime, Kazuichi, and Sonia and every other DR character not mentioned swung their feet back and forth on the tank. Sonia spotted me, hopped off, and made her way across the blooded battle field- riiiiight, this is Jabberwock Island.

Peko POV:

Maybe I should've let Younger Master keep the bazooka. He seems to be struggling with Chihiro. All well, I can cuddle and hug him straight after- say what.

You stupid author, planning Kuzupeko thoughts in my head. Yeah, I'm talking about yo- NO DONT END MY POV-

Yuki POV:

Monokuma grabbed my hand and planted a kiss on it before punching Gundham straight in the nose. Why were all these people fighting over me? I was ugly!

"Upupup- wait, normal laugh- hahahahHAHAHA! Missed me, lose- OW!"

Togami fanned himself as Ishimaru lay defeated before him, money sticking out of his ears, nose, and mouth. "My job is done- time to ride a pony into the rainbows," he said, then skipped off with Mahiru in hand.

Huh. TogamiXMahiru. What.

"HAVE A NICE TIME! I WANT PHOTOS!" Ibuki hollered after them after clambering down from Nagito's tank and the author totes forget Ibuki speaks in third-person.

From where he was currently choking Monokuma when his scarf (these boys where so creative how they went about fighting each other), Gundham blew me a kiss before growling at the monochrome boy.

"NOOOOOOO GUNDHAM!" Someone shrieked, and I blinked as Sonia, clad in army clothes, pounced on my bed and aimed an AK-47 in my face.

"Uh...hi?" I said blankly, feeling around for my flame-thrower that should of been at my waistband.