twenty: you know you shouldn't be out here

*trigger warning for talk of suicide*

Eight PM.

Frank took a deep breath in and let it out. Best case scenario, a vampire would find him, drain him of blood, and he would finally fucking die. Worst case scenario, he was caught by a vampire and kept as a source of blood to leach off of until he died from old fucking age. Frank stood up from where he was sitting on his bed, put aside his book and finally turned the damn alarm off. He shrugged on his coat and slipped on his doc martens, and left the door unlocked behind him.

The suicide note was sitting on the counter with the explanation of what he was about to do.

The crisp, cool air was sweet to the smell after--and only after, Frank noted--the curfew bells chimed in the distance when the shadows seemed taller and longer and the street lamps were dimly lit, thus encouraging people to go inside and into safety, but Frank grinned at this.

If he had wanted to listen to music, he would have listened to 'Today' by the Smashing Pumpkins. It was just that sweet kind of feeling. The sweet, sick feeling of the end.

Frank's lips curled upwards, and he breathed in the scent of near-freedom. He walked confidently down the street, only regretting for a moment that he didn't bring earbuds and his iPod. He would have really liked to listen to music, but if he was going to try to find a vampire or be found by one, he needed all of his senses. Excitement filled his chest from nowhere in particular, his heart beating frantically--and this made him even more excited--a quickly beating heart was very easy to spot in the middle of an abandoned, dimly lit street for vampires who had the sharpest ears around.

Just as he was about to cross the street to get to the next block, he was pulled into an alleyway by a pair of cold hands and pushed against the bricks. His heart fluttered, and his eyes filled with happy tears. There, right there in front of him was a vampire, and he was most likely going to take his life. Frank smiled.

"You know you shouldn't be out here," the vampire hissed and let go, his voice turning into a concerned sort of mutter. "Get back inside before you get killed."

Frank frowned. "Y-you're not gonna..." he got choked up, his tears suddenly turning sour. "You're not gonna kill me?"

"Surprisingly, no," the vampire said. "I'm... I'm Gerard. I save humans."

"I'm Frank," Frank sighed and rolled his eyes below closed eyelids. Then he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around the vampire's neck. He was quite attractive, and Frank was glad that it made his cheeks get hot and his heart to beat violently when he got this close. The vampire's hands settled on his waist and tried to push him away, but Frank resisted.

"Gerard, c'mon," he whispered. "My blood would taste so nice on your beautiful lips. Do me a favour, yeah?"

"No," Gerard shook his head, and using his inhuman strength, he pried Frank's arms from his neck and pushed him away, panting slightly. "I'm not going to take your life from you."

Frank felt the tears pricking at his eyes again and crossed his arms. "Fine. I'll find some other vampire. I'm sure," he said, walking backwards out of the alley, "that they'd just love to feel my hot, thick blood sliding down their throat, quenching their thirst, their hunger."

Gerard bit his lip, but he mirrored Frank's crossed arms. "No. You won't."

"Oh, yes, I really think I will," Frank said, and then took off running, or, he tried to, but before he could even get two steps away, Gerard had his arms wrapped around Frank's middle and then he was pressing him against the brick again.

"No," Gerard growled, "you won't."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm not gonna let you kill yourself like that. You're gonna stay right here. I'll wait till curfew's over if I need to, but you'll stay here."

"Make me."

"I will." Gerard pressed his body against Frank's and Frank let out a gasp, his eyes closing and heart racing. Gerard just smirked. "You like that?"

Frank looked away. How the fuck he was supposed to get out of this situation, he didn't know. All he knew that there was a fucking hot vampire pressing him against a brick wall in a random alley a few blocks from his house when he'd set off that night with a death wish. However, now, all thoughts of death had lessened considerably as he fought to keep his eyes away from Gerard. He sighed and muttered out an indignant 'yeah' and Gerard giggled.

And then he did it again, and this time, he slipped a thigh between the two of Frank's and pressed into his crotch a little. Frank let out a tiny moan, he met Gerard's eyes, and his cheeks flushed red. "Fuck you. Stop teasing me and let me go."

"I think you're too pretty for me to let go, Frankie. How about you show me back to your house, and I ensure your relative safety for the next few hours?" Gerard said lazily, in a tone that dripped lust, ran smooth like honey, and made it extremely hard for Frank to say no, even if he wanted to. But at this point, he didn't really want to. Not really.

He licked his lips, closed his eyes and considered his options. He either let this vampire into his house and risked his death in his own house, or he stayed out here in the cold alleyway all night with Gerard's knee pressed against his crotch.

"Fucking fine, but only because you're cute," Frank grumbled, and Gerard wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him into his side. "Can we," he whispered, "can we go to yours instead? I don't wanna be in my house right now."

"Why not?" Gerard asked, and then steered them in another direction, across the street and to the right instead of the left.

"I just don't," Frank huffed.

"Is it because of your death wish? Because if I can do anything to soothe that, I'll do it, alright?" Gerard looked down and locked eyes with Frank.

Frank's knees got weak at the look in Gerard's eyes. He'd barely known this vampire for ten minutes, and the way his hazel eyes glimmered in the dim light seemed to explain every single emotion behind them. There was concern, affection, and a tiny bit of lust accompanied by a little possessiveness. Frank leant into his touch to keep his knees form failing. "You would?"

"Within reason, of course, but yes," Gerard said gently, and they arrived at an apartment building and entered. Gerard picked up Frank and scaled six floors within a few seconds and then unlocked a door and pressed a hand to Frank's lower back, easing him into it.

Paintings and magazine covers littered the walls of the hallway they stepped into, and Frank looked down, seeing the living room doors open. The window was large, but gauzy white curtains covered it--wouldn't want to be burnt in your own house if you were a vampire. Books lined the walls on minimalistic shelves and a coffee table and sofa sat in the middle of the room, a few decks of cards and a chessboard stored under the coffee table.

Frank took off his coat, and Gerard instantly took it for him, hanging it on the little coat stand. A coat stand was unnecessary for vampires, Frank realised and wondered why Gerard had it in the first place. Gerard took Frank's hand and pulled him into the living room and settled with him on the sofa.

"Can I get you some coffee or something, darling?" Gerard asked, pushing some hair out of Frank's face.

Frank's cheeks burned and he shook his head. "Not unless you want me to stay up all night with you."

"As much as I'd love that," Gerard grinned, "you need your sleep."

"Tomorrow's Sunday. I'll be okay if I sleep all day. I kind of would love someone to talk to," Frank admitted weakly and looked away, his eyes skimming over the titles of some of the larger books on the lowest of Gerard's shelves.

Gerard stood up and pulled Frank up with him by their interlaced fingers and pulled him out the door of the living room and into the kitchen. Gerard waved to a seat on the small kitchen island and gave Frank a small smile before turning to the kettle and filling it with water and set it on the stove, waiting for it to boil.

"So, Frank," Gerard started, leaning against the counter, "tell me about yourself."

"I'm a depressed, suicidal guitarist, what more do you wanna know?" Frank replied, bored. Gerard rolled his eyes. "What?"

"I wanna know about you, darling, c'mon, won't you indulge me?" he asked with a lazy grin that sent butterflies floating around Frank's stomach. "I'll tell you about myself first if you want me to."

"Okay," Frank said, feeling his lips curve into a smile too, "go ahead. Then I'll base my answer off of yours."

"Alright," he started. "I've lived in New Jersey all my life, and before I got bitten, I went to art school at SVA, and then got a job as a comic book author and artist at DC comics. I actually figured out I was gay because of comics, so they have a special place in my heart. Oh, and I also work part-time at the coffee shop down the street, where I've actually seen you a couple of times."

Frank raised an eyebrow and let his smile get half a millimetre wider. "Oh?"

"Mhm," Gerard hummed, smiled, and then continued. "And uh, I have a brother Mikey who just turned eighty the other day. He and his wife and kids had me and a few other friends over and we had a little party for him."

"That's really sweet," Frank commented and then sighed at the silence. "My turn?"

"Mhm."

"Well, I work as a tattoo artist and I have a band on the side, and that combined is what keeps me living. I'm gay as well, and I love comics too. I have an affinity for coffee and tattoos, and... Uh... my friends and I used to be closer, but I've kind of been isolating myself to make it easier on them when I die, so I've been a bad friend as of late."

"You're not gonna die yet, Frankie," Gerard cooed. "I'll make sure someone as beautiful as you isn't wasted. You're interesting too. I wanna get to know you better."

"No," Frank said, stiffening as Gerard's hand slipped over his gently, "you don't. I'm toxic to be around because I'm suicidal."

Gerard shook his head.

"How do you know?" Frank asked accusatorily.

"Because I know someone told you that. You didn't think of that yourself. Whoever told you that was wrong."

Frank looked away, knowing Gerard was right. Gerard sighed, and Frank asked again. "How do you know?"

Gerard's hand stroked soothing circles into Frank's hand, and Frank felt himself leaning towards the vampire. "Because I was in your position once, Frank. Do you have a boyfriend who told you that?"

"Ex-boyfriend," Frank corrected hoarsely. The water finished boiling and Gerard poured it into a French press and set a timer, slipping an arm around Frank and smiling at the way he leant into him instinctively.

"Well, I'm glad we got that cleared up," Gerard said and watched Frank blush.

"Oh? You wanna be my boyfriend?"

"Lemme take you on a couple of dates, and then I'll decide just how badly I want you," Gerard murmured and stopped the timer when it was down to five seconds. He pressed the filter down and poured it into two mugs, bringing out milk and sugar for them and setting it on the island in front of Frank.

"Sounds great," Frank started. "Also, why haven't you bitten me yet?"

"I already fed today."

Frank raised an eyebrow and stirred milk and sugar into his drink. "But I thought--"

"I feed on bodies from a morgue. My best friend's got me hooked up. I actually prefer cold blood anyway," Gerard said, winking, and Frank's throat went dry.

"A-alright."

"Sorry, too much?" Gerard asked, making his coffee too.

"No, just disappointed. I thought coming to your flat would be suicide."

"I brought you here to keep you safe, not hurt you myself," Gerard clucked, and Frank shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. "Do you like having a friend, or someone to talk to?"

"Y-yeah."

"So why don't you talk to your friends?"

"Because then it'll be harder to kill myself."

Gerard sighed. "Don't make me turn you."

Frank's eyes widened, and he nearly dropped his mug. "Y-you wouldn't--that would make me immortal."

"Well, kind of, but that's exactly the reason why that's a threat," he sighed, and then took Frank's hand into his own. "Darling, I know it's really difficult right now, but maybe I can help you. I can give you a reason to live, or keep living."

Frank looked at their hands and whispered, "maybe."

Gerard kissed the back of Frank's hand and hummed.

"Maybe," Frank hummed, "you could."