three: welcome to hell, buddy

 "Welcome to hell, buddy," Frank heard as the footsteps approached his cell and echoed off the walls outside of it. He'd been in solitary for a good three months. Not solitary confinement per se, but this part of the prison was barely used. Frank was just about the only one still sane down here, and when he heard a key turn in his lock, he looked up from his huddled position on his cot, glaring at the door.

As a sliver of light stretched across the musty floor of his cell, Frank grinned; a new kid to bully. A body was flung into the cell, and he landed on his hands and knees. He scurried to his feet quickly and backed away from the door.

"Scum of the fucking earth," the guard muttered and slammed the cell door closed. Frank heard the key click in the lock and looked up at the figure lurking in the doorway.

"Welcome to hell isn't the worst way to set you up for this," Frank muttered. "I'm Frank, welcome to my humble abode."

He spread his arms out from himself, smiling slightly.

"Hi," the figure murmured.

"You want me to open the window?"

"You can do that?" he mused quietly, and Frank could see him leaning against the wall across the room from him.

"No, but I can let the light into the room so we can actually see each other," Frank replied.

"Okay."

Frank shrugged of the monosyllabic answers he was getting, and turned to the window, pulling the janky blinds off of it and letting light flood into the room, illuminating both of their faces nicely. Frank studied his new roommate. His cheekbones were high, his hair was a fading electric red, and he had a massive frown on. His eyes were slightly sunken in with exhaustion and he had small dark circles hanging under his eye as if to augment his horrible mental state. Frank almost felt bad for him, but as soon as they made eye contact and he felt his heart jump, all thoughts of sympathy were expelled from his mind. It'd been a long time since someone was able to make him feel this way.

"You're pretty," Frank said roughly, sticking a hand on his hip and smirking.

"Um, okay," he new inmate said quietly. "Thanks, I guess? You're not too bad yourself."

Frank hid a grin with a small smile and shrugged off their encounter. They could flirt after they settled on who was sleeping where. "That's my bed," he said and pointed to the one he'd just hopped off of. Then he pointed to the other one on the opposite side of the room. "And that's yours."

"Okay."

"You know, I never caught your name," Frank said and walked over to his new roommate slowly, stopping and settling in front of him, around a foot away. "I'm Frank."

The new guy shifted onto his heels and took a slow step away. "Gerard."

"Nice name. I dated a guy called Gerard and then I killed him," Frank said and flashed him a grin.

Gerard looked a little uncomfortable. "That why you're in here?"

"Nah, you're actually the first person I know with that name. Other than some random author I used to read. I'm just fuckin' with you, man."

Gerard shrugged it off and brushed gently past Frank to settle on his bed so Frank settled on his own bed, facing Gerard.

"So why are you really in here?" Gerard asked hesitantly.

Frank looked at his hands and started picking at his cuticles. "Mafia. Killed a few people and got caught. I was one of my boss's best killers until the cops decided to hang out without their uniforms on."

"How many's a few?"

"Well, I got caught for three," Frank said and looked up at Gerard through his eyelashes.

Gerard nodded numbly.

"How 'bout you, baby?" Frank said and cocked an eyebrow. He didn't miss the way Gerard's cheeks flared with colour.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Awe, c'mon, I told you mine, you gotta tell me yours. Besides, it's not like I can exactly tell anyone. I'm here for life, man—"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Gerard muttered darkly, so Frank shrugged, deciding to back off.

"Alright," he held his hands up. "Your call. Tell me about yourself, then."

Gerard pulled a confused expression. "What do you wanna know?"

Frank picked at the fibres on the shitty comforter than lay on his bed. "Uh, like... what you did as a job, your family... stuff like that. Did you have a wife?"

"I'm gay. And no, I'm not married. I was a comic book artist and I had a brother. My mum and dad weren't too bad."

"You sound like a normal guy."

"Yeah, well, you were in the Mafia, so, I guess I can't really compare."

"I'm just tryna figure out how a normal guy like you gets a lifetime gig at a place like this."

"Gig?"

"Oh hell yeah. Us prisoners, we run the show here, baby. You see the guards and how they flaunt their shit like they own the place?"

He waited for Gerard to nod.

"Well, they're the dependent factor in this equation. Without us, they'd be on the streets without a job. When we all become good people, there's not gonna be a need for prison guards."

"I hate math."

"Well, I hate being in prison."

"That's beside the point."

"So is your hatred of mathematics, but here we are, sunshine."

Frank noted that Gerard's cheeks hadn't lost their colour, and he made it a personal goal of his to make him blush for as long and as often as he could. The 'sunshine' comment hadn't helped either. Frank was beginning to get the idea that he wasn't exactly alone in this. He ran a hand through his dark brown hair and stared straight at Gerard.

"You're different than the rest."

"I'm gay, and I should be dead."

"I'm following for the first bit but not the rest of it, baby, why should you be dead?"

This time, Gerard rolled his eyes at the nickname and crossed his arms. "It's why I'm here."

"Oh."

Gerard wasn't going to hand over the information, and Frank had gotten that through his skull like the bullets he'd shot through his victims'. So he decided just shutting up about it would be a great option.

"Hey, are you good, Gerard? Like... do you need anything?"

Gerard shook his head. "Just to get out of this place."

Frank shrugged. "Hey, man, it's your first day, you can't start talking like that yet."

Gerard didn't respond, instead, he uncrossed his arms and laced his fingers together, placing them in his lap. "How long have you been in here?"

Frank thought back. "Do you know the date?"

"Yeah, do they not let you know it?"

"They do... I've just stopped caring since, you know... I'm a twenty-nine year old with a life sentence."

"April twenty-ninth."

"I've been here for a year and four months."

"Shit."

"Yup. They put me in here New Years Day. Isn't that the best goddamn New Years present ever?"

"The best," Gerard muttered and shook his head. "I'm sorry you got caught, Frankie. I know Mafia stuff is like loyalty."

"Yeah. I didn't have anything against the people I killed. Didn't know 'em. Barely heard what they did wrong. My boss just told me to take 'em, so within a few days..." Frank made a gun with his hands and mimicked shooting the air.

Gerard sighed softly. "Sorry, Frankie."

Frank's heart stuttered. He hadn't been called that since the last time he'd seen his mother. The name had a special place in his heart, and when he heard it, he felt his eyes stinging. But he didn't even have the heart to correct him.

He just pushed back the tears and looked away.

"'T's okay."

"Hey, are you good?"

"Why the hell would you care?"

Gerard was silent for a few moments, thinking, and then he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke. "Because as far as I know, we'll be stuck in here together for the rest of our lives unless they're particularly fond of changing up cells for people."

Frank shook his head. "Been here since day one. Don't get hopeful."

"Hopeful wouldn't be the right word."

Frank looked up and caught Gerard's eyes, shaking off the butterflies swimming in his stomach. He nodded.

—-

"You still awake?" Frank murmured to the blackness that surrounded his vision. The lights had been turned off a few minutes ago, right after midnight, and the two hadn't talked since Gerard had finished the conversation before dinner.

Gerard took a few moments to decide whether to respond or not, but he decided that getting on the good side of a hot Mafia man/serial killer was probably a good idea. Besides. He was hot.

"Yeah, why?"

"I dunno. I guess now that there's finally someone interesting to talk to, I wanna talk to 'em you know?"

"No, I don't, but I can imagine."

Frank hummed and bit at his lip and then played with his tongue piercing a little, eating up the silence before speaking again.

"You're really cute, you know? Like, I mean it."

Gerard's cheeks flushed and he turned onto his side to be able to make out the outline of Frank's body on his bed. "Thanks."

Frank hummed again, and this time, Gerard spoke first.

"Is that why you were flirting with me?"

Frank basked in the pleasant clenching his stomach did and the flutter in his chest and said "Yes," far more nonchalantly than he thought considering his heart-rate.

"I think you're pretty good-looking yourself," Gerard said off-handedly, and Frank couldn't help but stifle a giggle.

"Thanks, babe."

"You this flirty with all your cell-mates?"

"You're the first one I've found attractive and tolerable at the same time."

"How many have you had in the year and four months you've been here?"

Frank thought back. "Um, like seven, maybe? Of course, until they moved me down here. They kept changing 'em up and moving us apart again."

"Huh," Gerard said gently, hoping that wouldn't be the case for him. "Why's that?"

"Because I couldn't get along with any of them. Except for this girl Jamia. But then they found a better cell for her. She got sent here for attempted murder. Told me all about how she couldn't go through with it, but her victim called the cops anyway and they put her on trial and took her away. Sad story. But yeah, I guess they thought I would corrupt her further because we were chummy after a few days. Long story short, none of us got along."

"Hmm," Gerard responded. "But you got along with Jamia."

"Yeah. You musta done something bad enough that they weren't concerned with you stickin' around with me, huh? You don't have to... tell me or anything."

"I mean, I killed some people. That's why I'm here, basically. But it's more complicated than that, really."

Frank sighed. "I'm sorry if it messed you up. I know my shit did."

"Yeah, it really did," Gerard whispered, and then Frank heard a quiet, muffled sniff. But it was there. It was definitely there.

"You need a hug?" Frank tried, hopeful that he didn't make the situation worse.

"That's okay. But thank you," Gerard said, nearly hiding all of the quivers in his voice.

"Anytime, babe."

Frank laid still for a while, just listening to both of their breathing and noticed how nice it was not to be alone. He felt far from drifting off, and since it was Gerard's first day, he knew the man was too, so he didn't really mind when Gerard picked up the conversation again.

"I can't sleep. I feel like my whole body is like... shaking or something. I just—was it like this for you on your first night?"

"Just for the first week or so. You get used to being alone in the dark with smelly walls around you. Luckily for you, you're not alone, so you'll probably be more okay."

"That's good to know, I guess," Gerard whispered.

"I'm really starting to like you, you know?" Frank said bluntly. "You're a good guy, Gee."

"I..." he started. "Thanks. You're not so bad yourself."

"Except I am. I'm a part of the motherfucking mafia. I'm still loyal. That's not a quality of a good person, generally."

"Shut up," Gerard scoffed. "You're really not that bad."

"I'd like to think so," Frank said wistfully and then ran a hand through his hair. "I hope I can get outta here someday and like... be a normal guy again. Maybe do an identity change, get a new social security number and all that. You know... so I can restart. I'm tired of being a criminal. I wouldn't even kill anyone ever again. I just wanna live like a normal guy, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Gerard sighed. "But I think you threw away a chance at a normal life when you were born into the Mafia."

"I didn't throw it away," Frank said, feeling a sting in his chest. "I didn't do that."

"Sorry! Sorry, wrong wording. I meant, you didn't ever get a chance, I guess. That's pretty sad," Gerard said and sighed, bringing a hand to his forehead. "Shit, man I'm sorry if that was rude of me."

"It's alright, Gee," Frank said, sighing to himself. "I know what you meant."

Gerard nodded, then realising Frank couldn't see it, hummed a little affirmatively. "Do you mind if I ask you a question about the Mafia?"

"Ask away. But I'm not telling you anything I need to keep private."

"That's okay, it's just like... what's it like? Is it stressful? Is it like a loving community or do you feel isolated?"

"Oh, I definitely loved the community part of it. Everyone knew I was gay, but they were totally okay with it. In fact, one of my best friends came out as trans, and everyone was accepting of her right away. We have each other's backs, you know? You hurt my people, I hurt you, kinda deal. I honestly liked all of it except the killing. It was mildly off-putting."

"Only mildly. I grew up around it all, so it wasn't as big a deal for me until I had someone's blood on my own hands. Then, the shit gets real. You feel me?"

"So fucking much, Frankie. I feel that."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"No, it isn't. You're not even supposed to be here, that's what you said. Did they convict an innocent man?" Frank mused with a smile, biting his lip; imagine how fun it would be to corrupt an innocent man, to ruin him. To take that innocence away. To make him part of this whole shit show gig at this penitentiary.

"No. I'm not innocent. Not near it at all. Things just... didn't go to plan, you could say."

"Fuck."

"Yep," Gerard said with an elongated sigh. "It's okay though because at least I can't do anyone anymore damage locked up here. For the rest of my goddamn life."

"I have a feeling you don't deserve it," Frank said and felt a pang in his heart.

"I dunno."

Frank left it and just shrugged to himself. He was gonna get the reason why Gerard was here out of him somehow or other. He just didn't know how yet.

—-

Being taken down to breakfast in this wing was always entertaining. Frank was one among seven others in the vast—and seemingly abandoned wing—so breakfast was always lonelier, because the others were all insane or something. One of them never ate breakfast, but at lunch and dinner, he was force-fed. What happened to breakfast being the most important meal of the day? Frank didn't know, but he didn't really seem to care. He didn't know the guy, and as much as he wanted to, the first time he'd tried to make conversation, the man had sheepishly taken his plate and went to another table to sit alone again.

So he didn't bother. If the only other sane dude didn't wanna talk, Frank felt like he should respect that. But now that Gerard was here, things would probably get a lot less lonely.

As the two of them walked into the lunchroom in a single file line, guard behind and in front of them, Frank was surprised to see two other new inmates sitting at a table together. When Gerard and Frank had gotten their food, Frank motioned for Gerard to follow him, and he walked over to the two newbies. He eyed the guards at the door, and when they didn't let up an expression of unease or disapproval, he went back to ignoring them.

"You guys new, or just got moved here?" Frank asked them.

One had a large curly afro of hair, and the other one was a red-head with a small beard. The one with the beard also had a lip piercing and Frank felt a sense of inclusivity. Finally, someone else with a lip piercing that was in this wing.

"Yeah," the one with the afro said. "We both got checked in yesterday. I'm new, and Bob here just got transferred. You too?"

"Nah, man, I've been here for a year and four months. But it's cutie over here's second day too, isn't it?" Frank gestured to Gerard with his thumb.

Gerard turned a lovely shade of pink and nodded down at his canned fruit and cereal.

"What's the cutie's name?" The afro guy asked.

"Gerard," Gerard said, eyes glued on his food.

"I'm Frank," Frank said and then looked at Bob. "You're Bob, and you are..."

"Ray."

"Wait," Bob said, looking up at Frank—eyes glittering. "Frank like Frank Iero?"

Frank nodded, lips curling upwards in anticipation. "Decaf?" he chanced, and Bob grinned.

"Oh, yeah. Decaf all the way, man," he grinned. "It's so good to meet someone who likes Decaff too."

Gerard and Ray exchanged weird looks and Ray shrugged.

Bob leaned forward towards Frank, and Gerard noticed the gleaming smiles on both of their faces.

"Dude," Bob whispered. "They've been looking all over for you."

Frank frowned. "Don't they know where I am?"

Bob shook his head. "They tried to figure out, but they didn't succeed. They wouldn't give 'em the info. They guessed you'd be here though after I was transferred."

Frank lowered his voice so even Ray and Gerard couldn't hear it and grinned. "They comin' here soon?"

"Last I heard, they were, but that was only the gossip from old Coffee Bean before I got transferred."

Frank sighed, leaning back. "How's everything going? How long have you been locked up?"

"Around three months. And about everything... Your dad's talking with him, and they really wanna find you. Or at least they did three months ago."

Frank nodded. "Thank you. We shouldn't talk about this in here though."

Bob smirked. "You think the guards listen?"

"No, but we don't wanna chance it, you know, Bob?"

"Sure, man," Bob said, and the two of them leant back. "Anyways."

"What was that all about?" Gerard asked, and Ray put his chin in his hand.

"I'll tell you what I can later," Frank promised and put a hand on Gerard's thigh under the table. Gerard nodded and his breath hitched as Frank did so, and Frank lower his hand to Gerard's knee, patting it.

Ray tucked some curly strands behind his ear and turned to Bob. "You'll tell me what's up too, yeah?"

"As much as I can," he said solemnly. "You're not a snitch, are you?"

Ray shook his head. "Last time I was in prison, everyone came to me with their secrets. I know how to lock my mouth shut and melt the key."

Frank took a bite of his measly breakfast. So Bob and Ray were trustworthy. Ray began to eat too, and it was then that Frank noticed the top half of Ray's orange jumpsuit was tied around his waist and that his white t-shirt was all he had on. His arms were muscled, and weirdly scarred, and Frank watched what seemed to be burn marks flex on his skin as he brought the spoon up to his lips to eat his cereal.

"Man, why are you watching me?" Ray asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry..." Frank mumbled. "Just tryna figure out how you got those scars."

Ray took another bite of his cereal and then put his spoon down. "I was in prison a couple of years ago, and they tried to get information out of me. Burnt a good bit of the skin of my arms and legs off to try to get it out of me. My lawyer saved me from my sentence once she learned what was going on. And she got me outta jail before I told those scumbags anything about anyone." He scoffed. "Then I had to go and fuck up again and land myself in this joint."

"Sorry, man," Frank muttered, rubbing his arms through the sleeves of his orange jumpsuit. He thought about his tattoos and how they would be all messed up if he'd had to go through that. "I'm glad your lawyer got you outta there."

"Oh, she's an angel. She couldn't help me with this one though. Killing a man is different than gettin' dirty with the black market."

"Sure is," Bob sighed, and Frank caught his eyes, understanding coursing through the air and sort of binding them together. He felt a surge of affection for the three other people sitting with him and decided that if he ever got outta there, he'd take the three of them with him. He would. Or if he couldn't he'd come back to get them.

"Bob, what's your last name?"

"Why?"

"So if I ever get out of here and wanna come back for you I can tell Coffee Bean who you are."

"Bryar. Sweet of you, dude."

Frank shrugged. "You're a brother to me, now that I know we're on the same boat for liking coffee."

"Decaf?"

"Decaf."

—-

"I'm starting to doubt you'll ever tell me about what that decaf thing was at breakfast today," Gerard said after they'd been locked in their cell after dinner.

"I will, baby, don't worry," Frank teased and smirked at the way Gerard's cheeks turned bright pink. He came and sat on Frank's bed next to him.

"When?"

"Um, I dunno."

"Okay," Gerard said, and then he laid his head in Frank's lap. Frank felt his heart flutter wildly and instinctually threaded his fingers through Gerard's hair. "I wanna tell you about why I'm here. I wasn't gonna tell you, but now... I kinda trust you."

"It's been a day and you trust me already?"

"I mean, it's not gonna hurt anyone if I tell you. And besides, it isn't as if you can tell anyone else. I mean, I guess there's Ray and Bob, but... you wouldn't tell them, right?"

"No, but why would you trust me?"

"I get a vibe."

Frank smiled and kept playing with Gerard's hair. His heart soared at the amount of trust that Gerard placed in him, and he found himself making a vow to himself never to let Gerard down, although he couldn't really tell why he was so attached already.

"So, uh," Gerard started. "Around two months ago, I was checked out of a mental hospital."

"Shit, I didn't know you were—"

"Not that kind. The kind for people who try to kill themselves," Gerard said quietly.

Frank's hand didn't stop running through the long strands. "Oh."

"Yeah. And around a few days after I came out of that shithole, I got the gun out from under my bed, and I was about to do it. It was loaded and everything, and then my fuckin' brother runs in with these men that I don't know, and they grab me, and my finger fucking slips and I fucking shoot my brother. It was a fucking accident but if the men hadn't grabbed me... They could've talked me down. That's how the stopped me the first time. But they grabbed me and I didn't know where the bullet went until my brother fell down. And then they froze and they fucking let go of me so what do I do?"

Gerard paused and Frank's free hand found one of Gerard's. Gerard squeezed Frank's hand.

"These men made me shoot my brother, so I fucking killed those idiots. The worst thing about the whole thing is that my brother... one of the people I loved most in the world; he had to die because of me. The second worse thing is that I don't even regret killing those other men."

"You don't?" Frank whispered. He wasn't frightened, just scared he'd say something wrong.

"Not at all," Gerard murmured and then he sat up to face Frank, propping himself up on his hand. "See... I do deserve to be here. You were wrong."

Frank felt a tugging in his chest and he shook his head. He decided that if he ever got out of the shitty penitentiary, he'd take Gerard with him, and he'd do everything in his power to get him a new identity and to fix his life up for him.

But for right now, Frank reached out and softly stroked the side of the man's face. Gerard leant into his touch and looked solemnly away from him.

"Thanks for telling me, Gee," Frank said gently. "You need a hug or something?"

Gerard nodded, almost shamefully, so Frank pulled him into his lap and wrapped his arms around him. He rubbed Gerard's back softly as he buried his face in Frank's neck, and Frank found himself loving the way Gerard's head fit perfectly. So naturally, he kissed the top of Gerard's head. Gerard pulled away a little bit, and then Frank's heart was racing because Gerard's lips were inches away from his, and Gerard's eyes were flicking slowly in between Frank's lips and eyes.

And then, Frank pulled Gerard in. Gerard responded instantly, his lips moving softly with Frank's slowly and gently. Frank sucked on Gerard's bottom lip softly and then ran his tongue over it, and Gerard opened his mouth a little bit and Frank's tongue moved in, exploring every part of it he could reach. Gerard closed his mouth eventually, and Frank nipped softly at his lip before he pulled away.

"Fuck," Gerard breathed. "Frank, I..."

"Shit, did you not wanna... do that?"

Gerard blushed and shook his head. "No, no, that was amazing. I haven't kissed someone that good since... like it's been a year."

"I haven't kissed anyone in around two years."

"Damn. You're a great kisser... just, I wanted to tell you something."

Frank hummed and his thumb caressed Gerard's cheek comfortingly. "Anything."

"I don't want you to think that was just because I'm sad... Like, you know that was genuine right?" Gerard asked meekly.

Frank's heart rushed and he smiled. "Me too."

And then he kissed him again, and this time, it was longer and better than the first one.

---

Frank woke up with a warm body pressed against his chest the next morning and found himself smiling when he realised that it was Gerard. He kissed Gerard's neck and held him tighter, and soon, Gerard was awake too.

He rolled over to face Frank. "Morning."

"Morning, sunshine," Frank said and kissed Gerard softly. Gerard kissed back and then buried his face in Frank's chest again.

"You know, I think this might not be so bad with you here," Gerard said, and Frank kissed him again.

"Yeah," he whispered. "But I'm gonna find us a way outta here anyway."