nineteen: it's a long story

"Hey, baby," Gerard said, and rolled over onto his stomach, closing his comic and putting it on his bedside table. 

Frank put bookmarked his book and put it aside too, turning his head so as to not make an effort to flip onto his stomach as well. "Yeah?"

Gerard's hand trailed down Frank's bare shoulder and his fingers curled with Frank's. "When did you get those stitches? The ones under your 'hope' tat?"

Frank's free hand instinctively went up to touch his chest, and when he affirmed to himself that the little bump on his chest was still there, he let his hand rest on his stomach. "Um, well," he began, and then his throat closed up. "It's a long story."

Gerard let go of Frank's hand in order to slip it around his waist, and Frank watched the muscles and ligaments in Gerard's chest and arm flex and contract as he completed the simple movement. He felt his own body moving closer to Gerard's and then he almost smiled at the tiny bit more comfort that this position held. He flipped onto his side as well and mirrored Gerard's new position. 

"We've got all day. Literally," Gerard gently nudged, and Frank felt his heart clench, so he leant forward a little, and pressed his lips to Gerard's. Gerard responded as soon as Frank kissed him, kissing back softly and pulling him in for another one when they parted. "You good?"

"Yeah," Frank said, and Gerard smiled at the way his cheeks and ears went red. "I just wanted to kiss you."

"Alright. You can kiss me again," Gerard smirked, but Frank smiled too and flipped on top of him and kissed him. This time, it wasn't soft and innocent like it was before, but it wasn't anywhere in the vicinity of lustful and erotic. It was desperate, loving, kind. If his lips were available, Gerard would have smiled. 

Frank finally pulled away after around two minutes of kissing Gerard, and flipped back onto his side, then sat up. Gerard sat up with him, and Frank's hand seemed to go unconsciously to hold Gerard's, which made the latter smile. 

"What's up, Frankie?"

Frank sighed. "I'm making such a big deal out of this," he whispered. "You know about my past... my merc stuff, yeah?"

Gerard's eyes went wide for a few moments before he nodded, making a conscious effort to keep his mouth closed. Frank hated talking about his past, even though Gerard had been a part of his life while he was taking expensive jobs on the side. Frank was good at it too. He'd always been good at it. Killing people seemed to be something he had talent in. He'd make it easy on them, make them as comfortable as possible and gain their trust before brutally betraying it. 

As one can assume, it'd taken months for Frank to trust Gerard enough to tell him his feelings and take up his offer on being boyfriends. It'd been years since, and Gerard hadn't ever done anything to compromise his trust, but that was only because he wasn't a killer, and he was a good boyfriend. A great one, Frank would argue. And Frank truly loved Gerard. 

But he also truly loved living a crime-free life, and when he complained to Gerard about his desperate longing to be a normal person, or relatively normal, at best, Gerard had urged him to pursue what he actually wanted to do in life rather than what he was currently doing. Frank, trusting Gerard deeply had done so, and lo and behold, years later he was a relatively happier man with a much stronger sense of fulfilment and a relatively happier boyfriend with a much stronger sense of love and adoration for Frank. 

 "Yeah," Gerard whispered, and one of his hands absentmindedly traced Frank's tattoos on his shoulder. Gerard didn't know it, but when he traced Frank's tattoos lightly like he was doing now, it made Frank's whole body seem to relax. So Frank took a few more seconds, basking in the lovely feeling of Gerard's finger tracing his shoulder before he spoke again. 

"Well, before we started dating, but after we'd met, I had a job where someone fought back. Fucking... had scissors. They nearly won, too," Frank said, containing the whole truth in pity of Gerard. 

Gerard raised an eyebrow. "Uhuh. I know there's more, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Frank sighed and pressed a kiss to Gerard's shoulder which he hadn't even noticed he's started leaning on. "You're right. He was, uh, he was my dad."

Gerard's soft motions stopped, and Frank ached to plead for him to keep going, to keep letting his deft artist's hands brush softly over the tattoos that lined his arm, but it seemed out of place, and as soon as it settled in, Gerard began again and Frank relaxed. 

"H-he attacked me first. Found out what my job was," Frank whispered, and Gerard, sensing the sking beneath his fingertips relaxing, finally found out his effect on the smaller man and kept up the gentle, soothing lines. "He told me I was going to hell, and picked up scissors. I wasn't gonna kill him, just made the gun sound so my boss thought I'd done it, but he cut me right there."

Frank glanced down at his chest and then settled his head back on Gerard's shoulder. 

"So," he continued, and his tone froze over,  "I did what I had to do. I... I killed him."

Gerard didn't say anything for a moment, but when he did, Frank was relieved to find that his tone hadn't changed. "So you got stitches."

He just nodded. 

"He hurt you before," Gerard said after a pause, "didn't he?"

Frank turned his face into Gerard's chest, and bit his lip as Gerard's arms wrapped around him reflexively, pulling him close and stroking his back. 

"Fuck him," Gerard muttered. "Hurting my Frankie."

Frank's heart flew into the clouds (despite his current emotional state) at the possessive side that appeared in Gerard and wished he saw it more. "Yeah," he whispered, but he didn't think Gerard heard him. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I..." Frank trailed off and then bit his lip to hold back the tears, but he couldn't erase the waver in his voice. "I thought... Well, I was an adult a-and he still did it. There wasn't CPS anymore, and my healthcare was covering all of the stitches and stuff I was getting, so, I was sorta on my own besides the hospital."

Gerard hummed, and Frank thought it was assent at first. "But you weren't alone. You can tell the police, show evidence and then he woulda been locked up."

Frank didn't respond. 

"Is that why your parents..."

"Split? Yeah. It wasn't only me. I was only allowed to see him on weekends, and we'd go to concerts all weekend so he wouldn't hurt me. He knew what he was d-doing was wrong."

"I respect that, to a certain point," Gerard murmured thoughtfully, and then his fingers were working up and down Frank's back. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

It wasn't accusatory, and Frank didn't feel his heart sting, so he just kissed Gerard's collarbone. "Because I didn't think you'd want me anymore."

He'd expected Gerard to laugh, but all he did was kiss Frank's forehead and shake his own head. "That's valid, but I promise you I wouldn't have gone anywhere but closer to you if you'd told me."

"You know," Frank began, and Gerard felt his heart quicken before Frank spoke again, "you're fucking perfect, Gee. I don't know how I scored such an amazing person like you."

Gerard chuckled lightly, but Frank pinched the skin around his ribs gently. "Don't laugh. You know I'm telling the truth. I do not deserve you. I would have broken up with a dead-beat merc with daddy issues, but still, here you are, telling me that my feelings are valid."

"Did I say something wrong?" Gerard asked unsurely, ignoring the little flutter of his heart in his chest as Frank spewed affection almost angrily. 

"No," Frank pulled away, and settled on Gerard's lap, taking his cheeks in his hands. "You're my favourite person ever. You know that? I've always needed someone who's supported me in everything I do, someone to show me what's wrong and what's right when my parents couldn't anymore, and someone to respect me, someone to love me, someone to be best friends with me, but like... better. A best friend that you're in love with who you fuck and kiss and spend your life with, and fuck, Gerard, you're all that and better. I love you so much. You know that?"

"Frankie," Gerard said, smiling pathetically and running his hands up Frank's arms and settling at his wrists, laying his hands on top of Frank's which still rested on his face. "Frank, I love you too. Baby, you're fucking incredible, but where did this all come from?"

"I don't fucking say it enough," Frank said, and then pulled Gerard in for a fierce kiss and falling backwards so Gerard crawled on top of him. They kissed breathlessly, all tongue and teeth and fucking love until Frank pulled away and placed a hand on Gerard's cheek again. 

"What's wrong?" Gerard breathed, and Frank shook his head, tears springing to his eyes. 

"Marry me," Frank gasped, still in the process of catching his breath. "Do you wanna get married?"

Gerard's mouth dropped open, and he nodded, stunned, pulling Frank off of his back and back into his lap. "Of... of course I'll marry you, you dumbarse, but oh god, I was not expecting... that."

"Me neither."

"You weren't?"

"Not right at this moment," Frank said sheepishly, his thumb coming up to stroke at Gerard's lip. "I was gonna buy a ring and make it all fucking cheesy because I know you'd have liked it better that way, but... I'm sorry, I should have waited, shouldn't I have?" he smiled a little awkwardly, showing his teeth and Gerard laughed out loud and ran a hand through his hair, tipping his head back a little. 

"No, I much prefer this, actually. What you were planning is perfect, and cute and all, but right now, where we are in our relationship, I think this was the best way you could have done it."

Frank flashed him his little grin. "You still want a ring?"

"That's alright, just matching bands is good for me," he said, and pressed a kiss to Frank's hand. "That good for you?"

"Mhm," Frank hummed, smiling as Gerard flipped his hand over and kissed his palm. Frank giggled at the weird feeling. "Can they be black? Or no, silver. I don't want gold. Do you want gold? If you do, then we can."

"No, Frank, do I look like a gold kinda guy to you?" Gerard grinned. "Silver. Thin and flat, something out of the ordinary but recognisable as a wedding ring, you know?"

"Yeah," Frank mused, his heart soaring a little too dramatically and pressed his head into the crook of Gerard's neck. "Fuck, Gerard, I wanna marry you so bad."

"You're gonna, don't worry," Gerard laughed, and Frank shook his head. 

"No, like, right now," he breathed and Gerard shivered at Frank's hot breath on his neck. 

Gerard inhaled sharply. "Well, you're gonna have to be patient and--oh."

Frank had started sucking on his neck, and his hand was resting conveniently over Gerard's crotch, but Gerard moved his hand, leaning into Frank's lips and signalling that hickeys were about as far as he wanted to go right then. Frank respected that, his hand instead trailing up Gerard's arm and settling on his shoulder, nudging his neck as if to gesture for him to lay back. Gerard did, and he let his head roll back on the pillow so Frank had better access. 

Breathy, high pitched noises made their way out of Gerard's mouth and eventually Frank stopped, looking down to admire his handiwork. 

"Beautiful," he whispered. "And all mine."

Gerard hummed, eyes still closed at pulled Frank back down on him, wrapping his arms tightly around him and then rolling them so that he was on top and Frank was on the bottom. "And you're mine," he whispered, and then returned the favour--spread hickeys on Frank's neck as well--and kissing him sweetly when he stopped. 

"I fucking love you," Frank mumbled as he pulled Gerard closer as they cuddled again. "I love you so much."

"I love you more," Gerard mumbled, and Frank rolled his eyes, grinning. 

"Do not even think about starting that, motherfucker, I could prove you wrong all night."

"Whatever," Gerard sighed, kissing the top of the shorter man's head and loving the way his skin felt below his fingertips. 

"Whatever my arse," Frank said and then pressed a kiss to Gerard's shoulder. "Turn around, I wanna spoon you." 

Gerard chuckled and then complied. "Okay, but I wanna hold you later on."

"I wouldn't even dream of denying you that," Frank murmured into Gerard's shoulder blades and then settled his chin on top of his shoulder. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good," Gerard whispered, and closed his eyes and smiled, perfectly content, perfectly aware that his life probably couldn't get much marginally better, and hummed when he felt a few more kissed being placed on his shoulder and neck. 

"When we're married," Frank started, and then interrupted himself to press a few more lingering kisses on Gerard's shoulder, "I'm gonna kiss you and hold you every single day until we die together when we're two hundred years old."

"That sounds perfect, baby," Gerard said with a smile, and Frank giggled into his shoulder blades. 

"I'm really glad you think so."