You started dressing more normally. Tops that accommodated your wings were replaced with Killer's shirts and anything the other guys decided they didn't want anymore. The stitches were getting itchy, which meant they were healing pretty well. You'd managed to find the courage to look at them in the mirror. The doctor did a good job salvaging what he could and the scarring wasn't going to be as bad as you thought. It was still hard to look at.

The doctor was also letting you sleep back in your shared room with Killer and while your lover was very happy about that, he treated you as delicately as possible. He did his best to avoid touching you in his sleep for fear of aggravating your wounds. The mornings were different though. He'd cuddle up with you until the crew begged him to come out to make food and let them see you. Though you sulked a lot, they were all happy to see you alive and moving. That was enough to make you want to feel better, it'd just take some time to get there.

In the mean time, you were often sleeping off exhaustion as you healed, letting the crew keep you busy with silly games and conversations, or indulging in the familiar feeling of needing to fly. It didn't fade away overnight but it was getting easier to ignore as each day passed. You couldn't help but feel jealous of Cypher though. Killer suggested putting his saddle to use yourself when you felt up to it but you weren't sure if you could bring yourself to do it.

You thought about asking Kid how he dealt with losing an arm and then you had an idea.

"Hey, Kid?" You found him at the helm, looking over some things with the navigator.

One look at your hopeful face and he immediately frowned. "I know what you're thinking and the answer is no."

"I haven't even asked anything!"

"But you were going to and the answer doesn't change."

"It might work."

"It won't." He growled, shooing the navigator away and giving you his full attention. "Replacing an arm is one thing, it's okay if it's heavy. Wings is another. I can't make metal light enough for you to fly, it just wouldn't work."

"Have you ever tried?"

His frown deepened. "I'm the captain and I said no."

He went to move around you but you sidestepped to block his path. "You haven't tried."

"It. Won't. Work."

"Please, just try it for me. If it doesn't pan out, I won't ask again. Ever."

He watched you sway for a moment. You'd been up for a few hours and on your feet the whole time. It was about time for you to take a break but you weren't one to give in so easy.

"I'll give it a shot but don't plan on anything working. Limbs are difficult and wings will probably be even harder."

"Even if it's just something.... ornamental I guess, that's okay. I need something, it feels wrong otherwise."

He nodded. "I understand."

And he was probably the one person who did. More so than anyone else ever could. Kid gave you a pat on the shoulder and wandered off. With that, you had a bit of hope.

----

Kid spent a lot of time holed up, making good on his word to fix something up for you. At the same time, you did your best to leave him alone unless he specifically asked for you. Usually it was so he could take measurements or double check wing anatomy so he'd build them correctly. As you healed and the stitches eventually came out, he turned back to his more usual gruff self. It was easier for him when you were a little less delicate.

Killer was happy to have you more or less back in one piece. And with Kid putting a set of mechanical wings together for you, you felt happier too. You never felt the twitch to your shoulder blades whenever a good wind blew past anymore, encouraging you to take to the skies and you were okay watching Cypher in the air. But you were still wanting something.

The only real problem you had was with you now healed, Kid was moving on with the alliance. He was ready to be back in action and had let the others know. They weren't impressed with him holding out for the time he did but he was adamant about waiting until you could function properly. He said it was so you wouldn't need anyone to babysit you. Killer said it was because he really valued you as a part of the crew and wanted to give you time.

Either way, you didn't have the heart to tell Kid you'd rather not go straight from losing your wings to helping deal with a yonko. Your saving grace was it'd be a bit longer till the ship reached the other two captains. You'd take whatever time you could get.

For now, you were focused on doing what you could to stretch and relax the scar tissue between your shoulder blades. You'd lost your bow on Falsea island but the guys were looking into getting you another. And if you didn't stretch the scars, they'd make you a little too stiff to be firing a bow again. Killer was a great help with that though. Every night, he'd taken to massaging your back.

And as nice as that was, that was as intimate as you'd get. It was hard enough letting him see your back as it was. You lacked the confidence to instigate sex and Killer was too patient to try pushing you. Though he did ask if you wanted him to join you in the shower often. Not to get intimate per se, but more so he could help you get more comfortable.

You told him no just about every time, but tonight when he asked, you hesitated. You felt guilty, like you'd robbed him of physical contact and it was getting harder to tell him you'd rather not have his company. With a bit of shuffling on your feet, you finally agreed.

"Yeah."

Killer wasn't expecting you to actually agree. "Really?"

You nodded. "Really."

He still had his helmet on, planning on heading back out on deck for a short while if you told him no. It came off with a click and he tossed it to the bed, walking up to you with a smile. Seeing how excited he was for something so simple made your heart flutter and gave you a little boost of bravery.

As soon as he followed you to the bathroom, he was bending over you for a kiss. You gladly returned it, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt to keep him in place. His lips twisted up into a smile against yours and you felt the first tickle of laughter start to bubble up since you'd lost your wings. It was cute seeing him like this.

He broke away as you giggled, chuckling silently with you. It made you think that maybe you were being a little silly about the scars. He'd touched and seen them plenty of times before. Being in the shower together wouldn't make it any different.

"Has Kid let you see where he's at on the wings yet?" Killer pulled his shirt off and you did the same, stripping yourself just a little slower.

"No." You sighed. He refused to let you mess with his design so he wouldn't let you even get a peek until they were done. But he'd shown Killer.

"I think he'll have them done before we meet up with Hawkins and Scratchmen."

"I'd like that." You stood by a little awkwardly as he got the water running.

"Even if they don't work?"

"Yeah, I think so. Even if it's just having the weight on my back again, it'll be something."

You both got under the water, your lover arranging you so the warmth ran down your spine. He always knew exactly what felt best. A sigh of pleasure left your lips.

"Is it that strange without them?"

"It's like losing an arm or a leg. To me at least. You get used to having something like that long enough and it's hard to adjust to them no longer being there."

"Hmm." He reached around your back and slid a hand along your spine, not touching the scars but getting close. You'd known him long enough at this point to be able to guess he was thinking about what you were going through, what it was like. "For the longest time after Kid lost his arm, he was constantly angry. Everything pissed him off. Trying to eat, mess with metal, even dressing himself was a hassle until he got his new arm."

"I can get that." Some days you were angry. Others you felt entirely too mopey. But all in all, you were frustrated that everything was changing so much. Your job on the crew was an aerial scout before. Without your wings, you weren't sure what you were good for any more and that was the hardest thing to get around.

"If a pair of metal wings make you feel better like Kid's arm did for him, I think we'll all be happy."

"Would it really make that big of a difference for everyone?"

"No one likes seeing you down like this."

"I've been feeling better."

"I know, it shows." He kissed your lips and around your face until you were giggling about his goatee tickling you.

You finished up showering and headed to bed together. Usually you'd put on clothes before getting under the sheets with him, but this time you both were fine being naked. Showering with him made you more willing to do that.

When you had burrowed under the sheets, Killer crawled over you, his still damp hair draping down his shoulder and into your face. It reminded you of the first time you were ever intimate together, just with a lot less feathers scattered around.

"No matter what happens with those new wings, you'll be okay." He nuzzled into your neck, brushing his lips along the most sensitive spots he could find.

Your breath caught in your throat and it took a second for you to figure out a response. "I know."

"And the whole crew will be there for you. They're not bad for a bunch of murderous assholes."

You sighed as he nibbled along your jaw. The action went straight to your core and you were already practically aching for him. Maybe you weren't denying just him the physical contact. There'd been plenty of times when you'd wanted him but told yourself no.

"They aren't."

His attentions were making anything more than short responses impossible but it seemed he'd said what he wanted. Killer wanted nothing more than to make sure you understood you weren't alone in this. And you doubted Kid ever was either. His crew cared too much for each other.

You pushed the sheets down your body, arching yourself towards him for more skin contact. Killer slipped a hand behind your back to press you even closer as he took your mouth with his. You missed this and planned on making it last as long as you could. He was really going to have to work to keep up with you.

(A/n)
Shorter chapter but the next one is going to have too much to mesh with this one. I'll have it done probably some time tomorrow~