Magnus dragged his tired body entering his home. Honestly he couldn't understand himself why is he that tired, he barely done anything today except being with Alec. He could hear plates and cutleries clanking together and knew his father is having dinner with Anna. He sighed longing how he missed eating with Alec. Although Alec is a very picky eater, he didn't mind at all.

He remembers how Alec loves eating the honey he managed to get after falling from the tree but yet hated all the sweets he bought. Alec loves eating sushi but hated the fish he caught cause he said he couldn't have a heart to eat them after seeing Magnus capturing it. Alec sudden outburst today really did take a toll on Magnus and he couldn't figure out how to make him better.

"Mags?" Anna soft voice called him from the dining room after hearing him walked through the door. Surprisingly for him for the big house, his move is quite noticeable. Probably due to the lack of people, even a pin drop could be heard in this house.

"Yep?" He answered with his one foot on the stairs looking at her, behind her followed by his father looking rather worried at him. "Have you eaten?" He asked and Magnus shook his head with a weak smile.

"It's okay, I'm not hungry. I think I'm gonna hit the bed, it's been a long day." Asmodeus knew how tiring it must be for Magnus but today hits differently, his face says it all. "Magnus, is everything alright?" He called again and that is when it hits Magnus right in his chest.

The tears that he held so strongly in front of Alec that he hides from everyone including himself just poured out involuntarily. He pinched his eyelids together trying to hold himself but he couldn't. "Mags." His father called behind him and soon he felt a warm hands enveloped him into a hug.

His legs gave up and he leaned on his father which he caught graciously and sat him on the floor of the staircase. "Talk to me, what happened?" He asked as he rubbed soothing circle behind him. Magnus on the other hand was a sobbing mess and his tears became a hiccup like a kid crying over a toy.

"He- uhm, he gave up." That was the only word he could mutter, Anna sat beside him rubbing his back soothingly like any mother would. "What do you mean gave up? Are you guys breaking up?" She asked him and he shook his head violently.

"NO! Not like that. He told me he wanted to die. He told me he's tired and he wanted to go. He wanted to go, he want to leave me after everything we had been through together. I don't know what to do." He continues his sobs as he leaned forward to hide his face in his palm. Asmodeus looks at Anna with a furrowed eyebrow hoping she would suggest something useful cause for the truth, he didn't know exactly how to help his own son.

"I have an idea." Charles said startling them all in a fright. They all jumped and turned towards the voice finding Charles few feet away from them in his usual butler uniform and his arm crossed in front of him. Magnus looks up and waited for him to pour out his brilliant mind like he always do.

"The poor boy has been in the hospital his whole life, what crazy universe would not made him depressed? I know it might be too soon to bring him out but honestly, a day trip won't hurt and it would heal those fretful mind of his. If I were him, I would probably hanged myself or jumped from the window, it was like a prison to him. He weren't able to do anything other than lying down, eat, sleep, his therapy, what human doesn't goes insane in doing one routine for weeks?"

Magnus didn't even bother to think that side of Alec before. Charles was right, he is always right, he knew exactly when and what to say ever since Magnus was a kid. He could see a soft smile on his dad's face before he returned the gaze back at Magnus. "What?" Magnus asked him curious.

"Maybe you guys could go on a real date that you guys always wanted." He suggested and Magnus nodded in silence. "Yeah, maybe." He whispered, he couldn't get the image of how upset Alec is earlier and somehow he felt like he was part of his sorrow too.

"But Magnus, you do know that school is starting and you know that you are going to the business school like we had planned." Asmodeus tried to convince his son to become a business tycoon like him but the gesture only made Magnus more upsets and Anna smacked him on his arm.

"This is not the time. We discuss this later." She pleaded but Magnus knew somehow Alec and him had to discuss the possibility of him going to college. Asmodeus on the other hand felt like he's waiting for his son to burst in anger for him bringing it up the matter.

"I need to talk to Alec about it, give me some time." He replied and he could see his father sighed in relief. Magnus had grew into a more mature person by day and he could see how Alec changed him. "I like this side of you, more mature." He commented and Magnus smiled his soft smile before he continued, "I guess love made you changed into a different person."

"You love him?" Anna asked with her eyes glistened in hope. Magnus nodded and smiled, "I never love anyone before like I did to him, losing him would be the death of me." The words taunt Asmodeus as he too couldn't live without Anna nor Magnus. He knew how Lily took a big piece of Magnus heart that he himself couldn't replaced it.

"There is no rush in anything, he'll figured it out." Anna cleared and she could still see the hint of worry in Amosdeus eyes and she knew he wanted nothing but the best for Magnus. "Either way, you're finishing high school soon, we'll see about it."

"So does Alec." Magnus commented and he looked up to his father, "He might not have a future before but now he does. I intended to be in that future with him, however short it may be." Magnus knew the chances for any transplant patient that they were given a second chance in life but not everyone would live longer than they expected.

Some dies sooner than they thought and some live longer and doing the best in their life. He intend to do it with Alec just in case if he is one of the few who didn't make it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maryse and Robert on the other hand went home with a rather unpleasing home. The moment they entered the house was a wrecked and the three of them are fighting, well mostly Jace and Izzy but Max was there on the couch yelling at them both.

"GUYS!!! What in the world is happening right now? Why are you guys fighting?" Robert screamed and the moment they heard their parents voice, their face beamed with happiness, mostly Max.

"Mummy! Daddy!" He jumped from the couch onto the coffee table and towards Robert. Luckily he managed to caught him hoping his back won't give up. "What is happening? Why are you fighting and why Maxie is so hyper?!" Maryse voice turned higher and they all had the same expression when their mother screamed like that.

"Uhm, Jace decided that it was a good idea to give Max a can of coke with sugar glazed donut." Isabelle stated which earned Jace another scowled.

"For the freaking last time, I DID NOT feed Max those thing! He took it from my room and ate it while I was in the bathroom!" Jace defended and both Maryse and Robert had enough.

"Alright enough all of you, we need an urgent family meeting right now." Robert said as he placed Max on the floor and they all seat in the hall with a worried look. "What happened? Is Alec okay?" Isabelle asked as the only thing that pops in her mind was her eldest brother.

"Alec is fine, I think." Maryse replied but then escaped to the kitchen and get Max a glass of water. She returned back to the living room and sat beside her husband after cradling Max on her lap and feed him the water. "Mama, what do you mean you think?" Isabelle asked her mum.

"Alec had an episode today." Robert started. They all gasped as they couldn't imagine Alec is having his episodes after so long he didn't. "Is he okay? How's Magnus?" Jace asked and they sighed.

"He's getting there. He never seen Alec like this, usually Alec is always warm and welcoming towards him but today he was cold and distant, but surprisingly for Magnus to notice it first, I don't even want to accept it but he did so bravely." Maryse continues as she told them what exactly happened to Alec and that is why they are having this meeting.

"I haven't seen Alec behaving like that since he came out. He got so scared that he thought he was better off dead than to discuss it with us." Isabelle said but interrupted by Jace, "You're forgetting the medicine toss and the running away moments. I swore I could never let Alec sleep alone without counting his breaths."

"Let's not go there, I don't have the energy to reminiscing the past." Maryse quoted and soon as she did, her phone rang and she quickly hurried towards her bag.

She gave Max to her husband as she scurried to get her purse and dug her phone out. She exhale in relief as she saw Magnus name on the screen instead of the hospital.

"Magnus? What's wrong?" She asked as soon as she answered.

"N-Nothing, sorry I must made you panicked." He apologized and she sighed rubbing her forehead together. "No sweetie it's alright, everything is alright. Anything I can help you with?" She asked.

"I need time alone with Alec tomorrow, we are going on a date." Magnus mentioned and he could actually feel the coldness in her. "I don't think that would be a good idea Magnus."

"Maryse please, for Alec." It was Asmodeus, she shocked to hear his voice since the last time she did, they were at the hospital. "I don't know, I have to ask Val first." She continued. "Already done!" Anna's voice boomed from the speaker which she couldn't help but to feel rather despair.

"You guys have done so much for our family, I don't think I could ever repay you all for what you did back in Hawaii and now this." Maryse stated and she could hear rustled before they answered.

"Maryse, it's for the family, yours and mine. Doesn't matter what, you are part of us and I hoped, we hope that one day it would be official but for now, Alec is like my own too." She couldn't held her tears anymore and began to sobs. Jace went to her side after he heard everything, his mother put them on the speaker as they did too and they all could hear Asmodeus words towards Alec.

"There are no words in the world that could express our gratitude towards you guys, I really hope Alec would love the date." Jace stated and as if they could feel them smiling at each other.

"I hoped that too." Magnus said those last words before their called hung up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alec stares at the window in his room while listening to his heartbeat beating on the monitor steadily. Valentine was there beside him changing his dressing with the nurse and he couldn't care less about them. His mind is too disrupt to even hear what he was saying.

"Alec did you hear what I said?" Valentine tapped his shoulder bringing his gaze back to the room. "What?" He asked monotonously. Valentine sighed before he opened his gloves and throw them in the trash can.

"I said the wound is looking great and dry, I removed the clips and now it looks better, you don't need the dressing." He said cheery but Alec's stupor facial expression made him sighed again.

"You mean apart from looking like a freak?" He stated and let his gaze went back to the window. "Why are you so upset?" Valentine sat down after he did his hand rub and the nurse left the room with the tray along with her leaving them both to talk alone.

Alec just shrugged his shoulder in annoyance cause he didn't want to have this conversation either. "I know sometimes it's overwhelming for a patient since you have been given a second chance in life. But sometimes it's okay to share it with others too." He could see how Alec's gaze changes from looking outside the window to stare at him in the room.

"I'm tired." He could see how heartbreaking it must be for Alec to endure this pain. "I don't think I want to do this anymore. Seeing mum, dad and everyone, especially Magnus, every time they walked in through that door, all I could see was their faces hoping I don't die on this bed the night before. I hated how it broke anyone who sees me as a living disappointment rather than a victory for surviving this."

Alec let his tears fall on his cheek and wiped them with his palm. "I just don't want to carry the burden of living this heart freely and wishing the guy's family that I deserved to live more than their son."

Alec cries and leaned into his palm and covered his face before he sobs, he could feel Valentine sat closer and wrapped him arm around Alec's. He hushed in his most soothing voice hoping he could ease the pain but he knew nothing would make Alec feels better.

A sudden knock interrupt them and when Valentine saw it was Maryse, Alec quickly wiped his tears away and looked to the other side.

Valentine stood from the bed and went to her, he whispered something but Alec couldn't hear him, later he could see the look on his mother's face and she nodded at him. He tapped her shoulder in assurance and left the room after.

"Morning sweetheart." She went to put down her purses and gave Alec his usual morning kisses. He nodded before whispering good morning to his mother.

She sat beside him and noticed the dressing had removed and the faint red line were clearly seen underneath his gown. It splits halfway exposing his chest which Maryse could see and traces the line with her finger. "Looks good."

She could hear Alec sighed weakly and closed his gown to hide his scars. He didn't utter any word since his mother came and Maryse knew he still upset about this matter.

"Valentine told me you are upset. Wanna talk?" Alec sighed shaking his head and stares at his hand instead. "Hey, since when you don't? You always talk to me." She claimed as she nudged him on his arm.

"I don't wanna talk cause I am fucking tired of telling people how I feel about all of these! You don't get it mom, none of you would!" Alec began to raise his voice which made Maryse taken back and sighed. "Then tell me how? Tell me how am I supposed to feel without letting you hurting yourself!" She fought back and Alec scoffed.

"I can't hurt myself more than I'm hurting right now. I don't feel anything that I'm supposed to feel and I don't fucking care anymore. I don't care whether I live or die, or perhaps I would succeed in living my life miserably. Cause all I ever did was disappointing you, dad and everyone around me. I do nothing but hurt you guys and it's all I ever gonna do as long as I'm breathing."

Maryse never knew Alec would feel this way and worst than he ever did when he was sick. All she knew was that the incident causes him to fight more than he ever would in his life but now it seems that he's giving up.

Alec stood up abruptly from the bed and went to the window staring into the outside world. He sighed longly as he stares at the trees and the beautiful blue sky above him. He landed his hand on the rail and let his forehead leaned against the cool glass.

He heard his mum walked behind him and slowly raised her hand rubbing soothing circle behind him and he sighed in comfort. "You know all those dreams I had before when I was sick?" He asked her as he tilted his head towards her and she nodded humming her responses.

"I don't have it anymore. I don't dream, I don't feel. I'm so fucking numb." She could hear Alec sniffed and leaned back his head on the window. "Maybe it's time to make a new dream." She said and Alec kept his silence.

"You had suffered through everything and it's time for you to embrace the new life. Let all the past behind and go on living a new life Alec. You had been waiting for this your whole life and finally you get to do them. Don't let this feeling dragged you down and drowned you in your sorrow, in your darkness. Let yourself shine and fly. You can do whatever you want as soon as you are healed. It's me who had difficulty to let you go, because I don't get to take care of you anymore."

Alec turned to face his mother as soon as he heard those words. He stares at her tired eyes as she stares at his. "You will never lose that mum, I will always be your son and you will always take care of me." He stated and she smiled. She raised her palm against Alec's clean shaven cheek. He had groomed himself this morning and she is proud of him for doing so.

"You are not the one who always had bad dreams Alec, us too. Me the most." She began as Alec stares at her waiting for her to continue.

"I always dreamt of you being gone, what it would be like of losing you and it hurts to even think about it. I never told anyone about it but I think your father knew. He always knew about things." They both smiled at the fact and nodded.

"But it got me thinking, if I lose you, although I did so many times but somehow you managed to pull through. But IF- I lose you, I don't think I ever wanted to continue on living. You are my first, you are the one who taught me to be the mother I am today. The challenges I had with you, the moments, I don't think I could go on living without you. I know it's selfish to think because I still have Jace, Izzy and Max but somehow I don't feel that our family would be enough without you."

"You are the glue to this family, the anchor and everything to us. Without you we are just family that waiting to break. I know I'm a bad mother to think that and how people would say I'm biased with my family, or that I am selfish for considering only you but I know cause I almost lost you when you are just a baby."

Alec's eyes widen in surprised hearing his mother's talk about his past, he never knew about this and he wonders what else is his mother hides from him.

"When you were only two, you got sick. You got sick due to pneumonia and the doctor said you won't be able to pull through. That we should starts making arrangement for you." Maryse couldn't help but to shed few tears herself and Alec wiped them with his thumb letting his mother continue.

"When we got home after the news and it got me thinking, what am I supposed to do now? Am I supposed to just let it go? Was I supposed to let you go? I always think, on those parents who lost their children, how on earth did they wake up everyday? Or how they breathe when it hurts so damn much."

Her voice breaks towards the end that Alec pulls his mother towards his chest and hugged her tightly. "Then I woke up thinking it doesn't matter if you sleep or you're dreaming, you still have to face the fact that your life has to go on as a parent even though you have no child anymore to raise."

Towards the end she is a sobbing mess and Alec broke seeing his mother breaks. He never knew this story before and no one told him either, not his mother nor his father. Now he wonders maybe there is a reason why they shouldn't at all, it nearly cost them everything and when Alec got into that accident, no wonder his mother blames her own self so hard.

"Forgive me." He whispers into her ear as he rested his chin on top of her mother's head. Her height isn't reaching Alec's so it fits perfectly under his embrace.

"No sweetie, there is nothing you should be sorry about. I know how hard you must feel since we all thought you are doing so good. You're healing well and I really thought you could put everything and every thought of yours for your future."

Alec nodded weakly still hiding behind those hazel eyes, "I don't care how old you are, you are my boy, you are still my little boy and I would always be here for you." She claims as she tucked his chin with his fingers.

"The burden that you carries in here is not for you to bear alone." She palmed him on his chest and he placed his palm on top of his mother's hand. "That you think he didn't deserves to die but you." Alec look into his mother's eyes feeling the world has all the answers only in her.

"Everything that happens always had to be a reason, remember when you and Magnus used to fight each other and couldn't stand being in the same room together, he made you came out of your shell and embrace the world braver while you teach him to grow into a more mature man and ready to take responsibilities. Before he may had everything he wants but now he has everything he needs."

Alec looked down into their tangled hand on his chest and silent tear began to drop on his face, "If ever you're feeling the darkness that pulls you down and deep, remembers who pulls you back into the light."

The words hit him hard in his chest, every time he had the dream, he always being pulled to drown on his own, but every time he woke up, he would see either Magnus' face or his family that pulls him back into the reality.

He nodded with a smile and his mother cupped his cheek wiping all the tears away, they both smiled before he heard someone knocked on the door and entered.

"Hello beautiful," both Magnus and his father came into the view with a bouquet of flowers in their hands and the widest smile on their face.

He and Maryse smiled in confusion but happiness were clearly seen on their faces. "What's all this?" Alec asked and Magnus came closer to him, "For you." He handed the flower in his hand and so does Robert to his wife.

"I'm taking you out on a date, today." He said with a cheery smile and Alec looked surprised before he answered, "Uhm, I don't think I'm allowed to leave yet, they need to run some more test." He took a sniff of the beautiful roses in his hand and smiled, "I believe I already had permission to take you out on a date for the next -" he stopped to look at his watch and smiles, "Pretty much the rest of the day until you get bored of me." He smiled and Alec couldn't felt happier.

He leaned to kiss Magnus on his lips and as their lips touched, it felt euphoric. Maryse and Robert smiles at them before she turn and stares at her husband, "What about this?" She asked holding the bouquet higher, "That's for being an extraordinary mother and a remarkable wife for our family."

Her smile grew when she kissed her husband on his lips, she couldn't hide the tears from falling and he knew how exhausted she is, but sometimes a little appreciation like this made her feel wonderful and recharged.

"Where are we going?" Alec asked weakly as he felt faint, "Anywhere you want but I have a surprise for you." Alec nodded trying to hold Magnus but the next thing he knew, he felt his knees weakened and his sight darkened. The pulls on his chest was nothing he felt before, he grasped his chest tightly in his fist trying to ease the pain.

"Mags.." His words slurred as he tried to use Magnus as a pole for his stability. "Alexander?" He called, stunt to feel the weight of Alec on top of him and before he knew Alec fell on the floor hard . He barely could bring him back to the bed even though it was only few feet away. 

"ALEC!" Everyone shouted and Magnus hugged his side, he had his arm underneath Alec's body from trying to catch him and his other hugged his whole body. Robert had run to get help while Maryse by his leg begging him to wake up.

"Alexander please wake up, babe please." He tapped on his cheek but he couldn't let those hazel eyes open to look at him. "Alexander please, please open your eyes, please." He couldn't get Alec to wake up and as terrifying as it looks, Magnus knew Alec would pull through this, he always had and he always will be.

He cried in Alec's chest holding him tight in his embrace, resting his face on his chest trying to ease the pain that he was holding hoping he could take away some of Alec's pain. "Alec please, don't leave me." He cried as he was pulled away from him and they took him back on the bed to save his life, again.

A/N I know how everyone has been patiently waiting for an update but my work is crazy and when I'm not at work I would be sleeping the whole day. It's too tiring. Sorry if you all think it's too depressing to wait on a story update. I know I am..