This is super long chapter. Enjoy, sorry if you get bored reading this. 

Magnus stares blankly at the wall in front of him, Isabelle had fallen asleep next to him due to exhaustion for crying earlier. He heard footsteps coming towards him and a hand handed him a cup of coffee. He looked up to see Maryse was the one who did.

He shook his head declining her offer which she didn't budge. He could see she tries to pull herself together by not crying in front of her family which is the strongest thing she did.

She took a seat next to him after she insisted the cup on his hand. "You need it. It's gonna be another long night here." She said before she sipped into her own cup.

"How did you do that?" Magnus' voice croaked after hours of crying and he didn't think he had energy left in him. "I made my peace." She simply said and Magnus couldn't understand her. He stares at her face with his eyebrow crooked in confusion.

"I know how much you love him. He is my son and I love him too. I have gone through what you just did for thousand times now and every single time we did, he managed to pull through. Every single time I walked into this hospital I thought this is it, this would be the last time I carry my son in here. We would go out with a hearse instead of our car cause Alec will be coming home to us in them."

A single tear dropped on her cheek which she quickly wiped them off. "So I made my peace with Alec. Whatever happens happened and I have no regret, so does Alec." She explained which Magnus couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Are you fucking with me? I never made peace with him, I don't want him to made peace with anyone. I want him to stay alive, to stay breathing. I want him to wake up and kept annoy me for the rest of our life. How can you fucking do that to him!"

He stood abruptly before Maryse could defend herself and he threw away the cup he received earlier towards the trash can beside the wall. He walked off trying to suppress his anger and he needed the fresh air anyway.

Maryse didn't say anything but she could only smile looking down at her hands holding the warm cup. "He's a keeper Alec." She mumbles under her breath.

Not long after Valentine went out from the room giving instructions towards the staffs. They all raised and waited for him to tell them that this is it, Alec is not here. We should cry and go home and tomorrow we need to prepare for whatever necessaries.

Valentine sighed before he clicked his tongue at them. He shook his head in disbelief before he smile half heartedly at them. "That boy is a freaking fighter." He said and Maryse gasped before she broke down into her tears with Robert holding her.

"There's something about someone calling him a bastard and he wanted that person to pay. Where is he anyway?" Valentine looked around but Magnus is no where to be found. "He's cooling off, I'll get him." Jace said before he sprinted towards Magnus' way earlier.

"How is he?" Maryse asked and Valentine couldn't imagined what to say to her again anymore. "He's surviving. Maryse I won't put a tube in him. He requested me not too. He said if he is destined to die, he wanted to be able to say goodbye. He wanted see all of you before he go. He requested for his team as well."

Maryse cried her eyes out after she heard what he said. She went and hug her husband cause she couldn't bear what she just heard. Alec is too strong for a teen boy. No one is stronger than him.

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Magnus had to get out from the situation as he couldn't bear his heart to hear what they had to say about Alec. He knew Alec is stronger than that but sometimes things don't go the way we wanted. He literally ran towards the nearest exit door and climbed his way to the top.

As he reached there, he noticed the helipad in the middle and the sky is dark like it's going to rain. The wind blew bringing the scent of the city and Magnus hoped that he would smells the ocean instead right now.

He wished he could turned back the time and met Alec sooner, or maybe not being an asshole to him so much since they first met. He remember like it was only yesterday he ever laid eyes on Alec at the mall.

He was pale but not paler than he is now. His skin is not exactly pale but it was like porcelain. His black ruffled hair was a lot shorter than he got right now. The way Alec smiled around his siblings that day, Magnus knew he had to see him again.

If the world isn't so fucked up, he bet Alec would had more encounter with him. The way Alec smiled, the way he groan whenever Magnus frustrating him, the way his shirt moves when he breathe or do something. Everything about him is driving Magnus to the edge of his insanity.

He knew people would say that this is only his puppy love cause they both are too young to feel true love. Magnus knew that he was just afraid that one day would leave him but what they had is much more special than that.

Alec has always been the one who pushes him to go further. He didn't want to wake up knowing one day Alec won't be around him anymore. He literally can't.

His thoughts were flooded with lots and lots of wishful thinking that made Magnus so angry. He screamed at the top of his lungs grasping his hair before he fell on his knees on the tar ground.

"Magnus." He heard someone called behind him and when he looked, it was Jace. "Alec-" he literally sprinted towards Jace and grabbed him by the collar before he could finished his words. "DON'T!" He screamed at him, his eyes were fiery red holding back the tears that fall. "Just don't fucking say anything!"

Tears falls on his cheek as he locked eyes with the blonde guy in front of him. His blue/gold eyes are remarkable but somehow he wasn't attracted towards Jace. He is more attracted to the dying boy who has pair of hazel eyes.

"Don't fucking say anything. I'm not giving up on him. He can't do this to me." He warned and Jace grabbed his wrist pushing him away from clutching his shirt tighter.

"I know." He said. "Hell you are as stubborn as Alec. He still hanging there but Magnus, it's not gonna be long now. Alec is dying and you can't deny that facts!"

Magnus pushes Jace off of him and walked away from him which he followed suit. "I know that, FUCK! Why do you think I don't?" He screamed. "I know you guys had been through this over and over again for the past couple years with him but Jace-" he stopped to look at Jace and they both stand few feet away from each other.

"I'm not. I'm not ready for him to go yet. This is my first and you can't blame me for over reacting to this. You don't know how much it haunts Alec that almost every night we been together on that island, he had a fucking nightmare about it."

Magnus sat by the ledge and clasped his hand together leaning forward trying to hold the aching in his chest. He heard Jace step closer and took a seat next to him. The wind blew stronger and he heard Jace sighed. "I watched it every night. Every night before I knew he was sick. He would woke up like he was drown and kept saying not yet, not yet."

"I didn't know that." Jace said which made Magnus scoffed at him. "Of course you don't." He said before lowering his head back down and gaze on the ground beneath his feet.

"You have no idea how strong Alec is, if it was for me, I don't think I would survive knowing how much burden I had to carry." Magnus stares at the ground ignoring whatever Jace had to say to him.

"Alec is the eldest and everyone's looking up to him. Isabelle, me and Max had always been the mess maker but Alec, Alec is perfect. He never get himself into trouble but that night, that one night. He was fighting with mum."

Magnus didn't knew this side of the story before. Alec never got a chance to tell him. "Mum was angry because Alec got detention and she was under a lot of pressure at work that time. Actually she didn't know that Alec was defending someone that was bullied which leads him to a fight and got himself a detention."

"Mum was forcing him and Alec hated being pushed. He hated how everyone have his life already set. Which college he would go, which scholarship, which state and he never disobey. I guess when mum pushes him, he had enough. He went out that night to a party so he could get drunk."

Magnus was surprised that Alec took his chances to be a rebel and not gonna lie, he was actually proud of him. He always thought that Alec was the uptight kind of person who had everything all scheduled in his daily living.

"Little did Alec knew was that the police raided the place and he had to call her so she could bailed him."

"Mum was so angry at him and I guess they both fights in the car which leads to the crash. Mum said she barely could remember cause Alec was smashed and she was too angry at him. But the last thing she remembers was the tyre blew up and the car lost control so the car swerved to the side of the road. There was truck parked by the roadside for house construction and it was filled with lots of wooden plank."

"She just went straight in. Only to crash on Alec's side not hers." Slowly he could see tears fall on Jace's face. "She never stops blaming herself since that day. You could see it in hers. Every time Alec had to go to the hospital, mum was different. Probably cause she remembers the time where they brought them in."

"Mum said that when she woke up in the car Alec is awake the whole time, sobered." By this time, Jace's voice already breaks as he tries to hold his tears. "He kept saying how sorry he was. But that's Alec that we know. No matter how the situation is he would always felt he's the guilty one. Even though it's not his fault."

Magnus couldn't bear his heart to hear Jace's voice slowly turns to sobs so he hugged him. Jace weeping and sobbing on his shoulder made him felt more connected to him, that he gained their trust over the past few months.

Slowly trickled of raindrops fell on their head and both looked up which slowly made them run towards the exit door. As they both walked down the hallway heading towards Alec's room, Magnus spotted his dad and Anna there hand in hand and he couldn't help hiding his half smile which he was too proud to show to everyone.

Asmodeus was talking with Alec's dad when Magnus slowly approached them. "Hey, you okay?" Isabelle asked as she also worried at Magnus outburst earlier. He nodded which then Asmodeus smiled at him before he went to hug the guy.

Asmodeus was taken back by the gesture but chose to wrap his arm around Magnus' body and smiled.

"We can't stay in tonight, they told us to go, I'll see you tomorrow morning then?" Maryse suggested and they all nodded. Magnus pulled away from his hug and wiped his tears from his cheek. "I'm gonna say good night to Alec." He asked and Asmodeus looked stunted but nodded eventually.

As he walked in he could hear the beeping sound from the monitor which at this point made his chest settled a bit relief. That sound was the only thing proves Alec is still alive and his somehow damaged heart still functioning.

He stepped closer and notice Alec was asleep, they had him propped to make sure he didn't suffocate while he sleeps. He sat by the chair next to him and grabbed Alec's hand in his.

He didn't know why he felt heavy heart to let him go, that he wanted him to wake up and begs him to stay here instead. But Alec was dozed off with all the medication they gave him to make him relaxed.

He bring his lips down to Alec's tangled hand and kissed it with pure love and longing. Tears fall on their wrapped hand which Magnus couldn't care less about it.

He looked up and stares at Alec's angelic face. "You have to stay strong, for me. For us. Please don't give up yet baby. I have a lot more to make up in this life with you. The whole world is waiting for us. So please, just please, stay alive for me."

Alec didn't stirs nor budge when Magnus said those words and he was kind of disappointed but again Alec was already far into his deep sleep. So he stood from his seat and gave Alec a kiss on his forehead cause his mouth is all sealed into the oxygen mask he has on. Inhaling his scent before he left him, Magnus felt longing, he felt like he would miss this scent more and more each day.

"I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart." He whispered and lazily dragged his exhausted leg away from Alec's room.

The whole ride home felt like hundred miles away from the hospital. Magnus felt the exhaustion but yet he wasn't that sleepy. As he reached home, his father and his fiancé were having dinner and as Magnus walked into the mansion, Anna called him to the dining room.

"Magnus come, you have to eat something. It's your favorite." She said holding out her arm wide to welcome him. He couldn't deny the scent of the steak made by Charles, medium rare with extra gravy on his mashed potatoes were intrigued and somehow calling him. But he felt like if he ate, he wanted to vomit it all out.

So he kindly declined her offer and headed to the room instead but Asmodeus caught him first. "Mags please, you have to eat something." Magnus smiles weakly at him but shook his head lightly. "It's okay dad, I'm just gonna take my rest, I'm tired."

He just excuse himself to go to his room and it somehow distraught them cause he was never this polite around them. Before he went up he stopped by the bannister to gave his father another look.

"By the way, I'm glad you still hasn't gave up on my father Anna." Slowly a smile crept on her lips which made Magnus smiled too. "Welcome to the family." He said before he climbed back up to his room. He could hear Anna squealed into delight and she kept saying to his father whether or not he heard him say it.

Magnus couldn't sleep that night, he kept waiting for his phone to ring and he would hear any of the Lightwood that called him would sobs on the other side and tell him that Alec is no longer breathing, that he finally gave up and die peacefully in his sleep.

The call was never made, he didn't know why he was so worried and he start to pace around in his room before he found himself in the kitchen eating ice cream at three in the morning. He couldn't swallowed his tears away and it kept falling on his cheek as he took another bite on the dessert.

He didn't realized there were another person in the kitchen before the lights were turned on and startled him to death. He saw Charles stood by the door of the kitchen in his white striped pajamas. "Young sir?" He called and Magnus nodded at him before he went back to his ice cream.

"Can't sleep." He mutters and he saw Charles grabbed a spoon by the counter before he sat down next to him. "Wanna get it off your chest?" He asked before taking a bite on the ice cream.

Magnus shook his head wiping his tears with his sleeves, "I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore. It's out of my hand." He said with his voice breaks into another tears.

"You know, I used to have a brother." Charles started. "I didn't know that." Magnus replied. "Back in England, he was my younger brother. His name is James. He was the best brother anyone could ever had."

"What happened?" Magnus asked. "He died of a cancer. He was only thirteen." Magnus couldn't imagined losing someone that young especially if it's someone so close to him. True that his mother left him but it was different, she chose to leave and somehow Magnus still hold on to the hope where she is still alive somewhere.

"I don't see where is this story supposed to give me a relief or at least help me to sleep." Magnus banter and Charles chuckles at him. He always being the impatient one since he was little.

"I took care of him since he got sick till the day he died." Charles begins and Magnus noticed how his face changes, "The only thing that I could tell you is to braced yourself for the most painful thing you could ever imagined."

Tears falls on Charles face and he quickly wiped it off. "I'm not gonna sugar coat it Magnus. It's going to be hell for the first week. You may or may not cry on the day itself or the first week even but that's not the hardest part yet."

"What's the hardest part?" Magnus scared to even asked the question, but he had too. He had to know how he will have to move on if Alec dies.

"The hardest part is where you can no longer hear him, or sees him everyday, losing his scent in everything around you that makes you think of him. The thing that you looking forward to each day with him, it's not there anymore."

Magnus pushes the ice cream away and stepped off from the high chair before headed out from the kitchen. Charles sighed before he took the container and close the lid and placed it back into the fridge. He washes off the spoon used by him and Magnus before headed to Magnus room.

He knock softly before he opened them and he could hear sobbing behind the door. He found him by the bed hugging his knees to his chest. He trudged towards him and before Magnus could say anything, he wrapped his arm around Magnus' comforting him.

"I can't Charles. I can't lose him." He mumbles in his cry feeling the warmth through Charles finger stroking his hair back. "I know child. You are by far the strongest boy I know so far, other than Alec."

Magnus pushes him away before they locked eyes. "Alec is stronger." He mumbles and Charles nodded.

"Listen. When Alec was dying, what did you pray to God for?" He asked and Magnus remembers it well. "Strength." He state and Charles sighed. "When you prayed to God for strength, did you think the God would gave you strength or something for you to be strong about?"

Magnus couldn't understand so he furrowed his eyebrow at him.

"When someone ask for patience, do you think god would gave him patience or an opportunities to be patient? If he say he prayed to made the person loves him stronger, do you think God would gave you a warm fuzzy feeling inside your heart or the opportunities to love that person even harder?"

Magnus nodded slowly before he hugs Charles again. "All I'm saying is that it's too early to say anything, there's still hope." Magnus nodded in his embrace and he knew Charles was right.

If Alec were meant to die then he can't do anything about it. But he surely can do something about having his last moment with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Magnus couldn't remember woke up feeling this heavy. But as soon as he did, he rushes towards the clock next to his bed and noticed it was already noon. He reaches for his phone and noticed there were multiple calls from Isabelle and Jace and few texts from them either. "Oh god!" He screamed before he stood from his bed calling Isabelle on his phone.

He couldn't get through her but got her voicemail instead. "Izzy I'm so sorry, I overslept. Tell Alec I'll be there as soon as I can." He left his voicemail in and headed straight to shower.

After he finished his grooming and chose to wear his dark blue turtleneck with his black leather jacket that he bought when he was in Europe traveling. He did his hair upward just on the front side and sworn he knew how dashing he look. He put on his pair of sneakers before he grabbed his phone, his car keys and headed out from the room.

As he ran out he was called by his father from the music room. The room wasn't exactly a music room but rather a reading room that his father usually hangs with him whether to play chess or just simply to read. He walked further into the room finding them both having drinks together.

"Guys, seriously its one in the afternoon, already?" He asked noticing the bourbon glass in front of them. "It's happy hour somewhere Magnus." Anna added which later he heard his father chuckled.

"Are you gonna see Alec?" He asked and Magnus gave Anna a look before he answers them. "Uhm, yeah, I'm late already." He said pulling his sleeves up to check on his watch.

"Be careful. Text me if anything." He said which surprised Magnus the most cause how calm his father is. "Okay, see you." He said before walking out from the house with a smile on his face.

As he parked his car on the hospital lot, he couldn't help but pacing his way so he could arrive there faster. As he reached there, he noticed no one is sitting outside the corridor of Alec's room so he just barged in and almost screamed in surprised when the room filled with teenage boys his age looking at him.

"Uhm, hi?" Magnus raised his palm waving at the guys and some of them waved back with a smile and some just stares at him with a up and down look to scan him. Although he might be overdressed for the occasion but Alec never criticize him on whatever he's wearing.

"Hey." Magnus said as he went to Alec's side finding him talking to one of the guy but he was a bit older. Almost as old as his dad or Alec's. "Hey." His voice croaked and Magnus didn't realized when he kissed him on his forehead, he has audience more than he thought he would.

Alec didn't protest but he smiled at his gesture, so does every other guy in the room. Magnus for one is not the person who shows affection in public and most certainly he and Alec never settles on acknowledging them as a couple.

"You should rest Alec. I'll see you soon okay." The guy stood tapping Alec on his shoulder which he nodded before shaking Magnus' hand and left. "Remember kid, you are forever my number one player, I'm so proud of you for fighting this." He said before he left. Alec couldn't help to shed a single tear and smile before he waved him goodbye.

The rest of the group walked one by one and either tapped him on the shoulder or bro-fisted him or shakes his hand before saying their goodbye. All but the last one.

"Can I have a moment with him?" He asked although Magnus didn't really like his tone, Alec nodded at him to assure him and eventually he did. He walked out of the room leaving Alec and whoever that guy is alone.

"Out of all people, had to be him huh?" He asked as he took a seat next to Alec and he heard Alec snorted. "Love is a weird thing." He answered and the guy, who Alec finding really difficult to deal with all these years smiled.

"I have a confession to make." The guy stated and Alec raised his eyebrow at him, "What Evan?" The guy, Evan chuckled before pushing the hair away from his forehead. His blonde hair is not like Jace. His is more dirty blonde while Jace is pure blonde which made him shine like the golden sun.

"I wasn't being mean to you on purpose. It was all an act." He started and Alec half smiled. "I thought pushing you further would made you realized that leaving your team is a bad choice you've made in your life." He couldn't look at Alec straight in his eyes cause he was too at the verge of breaking.

"I just- I just wanna say I'm sorry if I'm being too harsh on you. I never meant too." He said apologetically. Alec brings out his palm which he then looked up and saw how Alec smiled at him. He took it in his and they clutched it together.

"Take care of them okay. The harder the battle the sweeter the victory." Alec quoted one of the words their coach had put up in their locker room which they read every single day before or after practice and before game.

Evan nodded but couldn't help but letting a tear shed, "Stay strong Lightwood, I know you are. There's still hope, keep fighting for donor." He said fisting his palm and raised them to Alec which he bumped with his weakly but smiles never left his face.

"See you around kiddo." He said before Evan left the room waving his hands towards Alec.

Seconds later Magnus appeared in the room and climbed on the bed next to Alec. "Hey, miss me." He said before pulling the mask off and gave Alec a kiss on his pale dry lips. "Someone's cheerful." He said putting back his mask on and lay on Magnus arm. He wrapped his fingers on Magnus leather jacket and later on the turtleneck he wore with his eyebrow furrowed.

"This is nice." He said and it made Magnus looked down at his own outfit. "Yeah? You can have them if you want." He said while stroking Alec's hair out of his forehead. "My boys know you." He said while looking at Magnus' face.

"Uh, yeah. My reputation preceded me." He smiled snobby acknowledging his title at Alec. "What's cretin?" He asked which made Magnus stops and stares at the wall behind Alec.

"Uhm, I don't know." He shrugged his shoulder which Alec had known he would react to this. "I know what I got myself into when I fell in love with you. I just thought you would be honest with me." He said before he tries to sat up not wanting to look at Magnus in the eyes.

Magnus sighed before he stood and took off his jacket and placed them on the chair and sat. "Look, I know you know who exactly is Magnus Bane before you know me. I was the freewheeling bisexual who fucks around with people cause I don't have life purpose. All I know was finishing high school and go to business school later."

Alec sighed next to him unable to look Magnus in the eyes. "It's not that I worried about." He said letting Magnus plays with his fingers. "What then love?" He raised their tangled hands towards his lips and kissed Alec's palm feeling the cold skin against his warm breaths.

"Are you going back to be your old self after I died?" He asked curiously and he could see how his words affected Magnus. He sighed letting their hands free before leaning back against the chair. "This again." He mumbles and tries his best not to look at Alec.

"I'm tired of your attitude like this Alec." He said lowly staring at Alec on his bed, "Like what?" He ask furiously staring back at him, "This! You giving up on me, on us!" Alec sighed an exasperation sighed while stroking his hair back.

He held his head in his palm leaning against his thigh. "Sweetheart." Magnus called as he climbed on the bed in front of him and took Alec's hand away from his face. When Alec looked up, his eyes were flooded with tears and it falls on his cheek when he blinked them away.

"I love you, with all my heart. I know that dying is inevitable. I know that either one of us could die one day, you just under a different circumstances were at the brink of it. But you can't say that it's already fated. Maybe I would go first, you can never know. Maybe I would drive home later today and crashed into a lake or something. You can't say that you are destined for anything. We don't write our own fate but we can do something about it."

Alec stares at Magnus longing feeling his words were nothing but truth, he hated how he is always true and know what to say to make him better.

"Don't say that." Alec said almost whispering and felt the warmth of Magnus palm cupping his cheek. "I know, it's just to make my point." Magnus said chuckling at him which Alec then smiled.

Magnus scooted closer bringing his gap closer to Alec, wrapping his hand around Alec's nape. Alec took off his oxygen mask and Magnus were concern he might be breathless but he then switched to the curling tube that place next to the bed. Magnus stood and changed the tube at the oxygen wall so Alec could breathe into the other one.

He placed the tube around his ear fixing it's position properly around his nostrils and he inhaled the wind that came out from the nozzle. Magnus climbed back on the bed with him and Alec stares him deep into his brown eyes.

"I never got a chance to ask you this but-" Alec stares at Magnus fidgeting in his seat in front of him playing his fingers on the blanket he had on his lap.

He never sees Magnus being this nervous before and truthfully, Magnus always the kind of person that's cheery and happy with no fucks given to the world. So when he barely could bring out the words made Alec worries.

He placed his palm on Magnus' hand that placed on top of his thigh feeling him shaking and trembling. "Are you okay?" He asked concerned. "Uhm yeah." He cleared his throat before he continued.

"I never done this before so here it goes." He looked up gazing on Alec's beautiful face with a smile on his.

"Alexander Lightwood, would you do the honor of becoming my boyfriend."