"So you don't want to be my sister again...?"

"I don't want to go back to being the sister of a brat who refuses to change!"

... I'm... I'm a horrible sister
A horrible person for saying that to my little sister...

I should be there for her... She's blood.
And yet... I don't want to.
I don't want to be the big sister of someone who's always horrible to me.

... But she isn't always horrible...

Did you know, that she asks me for a hug before bed every night...?
And every night... I tell her no...

I haven't hugged my youngest sister goodnight in a long time...

And I know how much it hurts her... I found her journal... She wrote about wanting to die... She drew pictures of her suicide... She wrote angry words that had been clearly splashed with tears....

I'm just a horrible person... A horrible sister... I don't deserve siblings...

What's wrong with me...?