The cold wind on your face as you gaze out over the water, the sharp smell of the crushed grass on the cliff side heavy in the air. You came up to the cliff to see the sunset for the last time. The heavy jacket that your best friend gave you is all you carry on your back, a black infinity scarf wrapped around your neck to keep you warm for your final moments your only accessory. Your phone you left at home, so no one could stop you.

That one deliberate step that takes you past the edge, the struggle to keep upright despite your want to fall, and the ultimate end, falling.

Wind rushes past your flailing arms, your mind consumed by the terror of the unknown. Of falling. Of crashing into the rocks you fear are below. Even though this is what you planned all along, the fear of the rational mind still consumes you.

Then, the initial splash as you land in the water, the cool embrace of the water against your skin. You're stunned, the cold taking away your breath, and you start sinking, your jacket barely helping to keep you aloft for a split second. Then it too starts dragging you down.

The struggle comes next. You realize you can't touch bottom and start clawing the water as you keep sinking, desperately trying to stay afloat. The heavy jacket is dragging you further down, but you're unwilling to part with all you have left to remember. Some part of you is screaming to give up, but you can't. You want to see your friends again. The memory of your family and those above that watery grave you've condemned yourself to keeps you fighting.

The sun's colors bleed into the water of the lake, turning it blood red. Your head ducks under the water briefly, the beauty of the lake stunning your senses just enough to cause your attention to slip. You break the surface again with a gasp, sucking in what air you can.

The cold. It seeps into your bones, numbing your senses. You dimly note that you've started struggling less, so you try to fight through the numbing cold and keep struggling. The jacket is waterlogged now, plastered to your cold skin. Your scarf is hanging limp, having long since been soaked by the fresh water of the lake. You still want to live. You want to see them again now, not join the ranks of those in the depths, despite your original wishes.

The cold deepens. You're so numb now that you're struggling to remember anything. Why you're fighting to stay afloat, who you're trying to stay alive for. The faces and names of your loved ones start slipping away, your brain overcome by the overwhelming instinct for survival that every human possesses. You kick off your shoes, shed your scarf. Yet no matter how much your brain screams at you to let go of the jacket, you refuse, even though you dimly realize it'll kill you.

The moon rises over the ocean, its pale light washing over the whitecaps of the waves. The cold deepens, until you're barely moving enough to stay afloat. At this point, your mind is completely blank.

Your whole world is reduced to the moonlit waves, the freezing cold, the numbness of self, and the soft sound of your weak paddling. Your shallow breathing grows weaker, and all you can see around you is water.

Eventually your arms give out. You start sinking, but instinctively continue to kick your legs, but they too are starting to give out. Your arms float gently along the top of the water, to exhausted to move.

Then, your legs give out. You've finally exhausted every part of you from struggling to stay afloat for so long. You slowly start to sink, but are buoyed up by a bubble of air trapped between your jacket and your body.

You gaze blearily at the night sky, the full moon seeming to hang, suspended, above you. The stars seem so close, like if you reached out you could touch them. You try to raise an arm to touch the twinkles in the sky, but it's as heavy as lead, and your arm stays limp.

Your eyes droop, shrouding your world as you start drifting off. A face flashes in you mind, one of your best friend. Their face reminds you of why you had been fighting, and you force your eyes open, feebly trying to make your arms move.

The slightest movement is impossible, tired as you are. The most you can do is slowly open and close your eyes, struggling to reopen them after every blink.

You feel your jacket shift as the waves move around you. The bubble of air that had been trapped under you, keeping you afloat, popped. The soaked jacket started to quickly drag you down.

The water slowly covered your chin, then your mouth, and finally your nose. You sink under the waves, the water flowing over the top of your head silently. The watery darkness consumes you, and you struggle to hold your breath.

Black spots appear at the edge of your vision as you continue to hold your breath, knowing to suck in water is to embrace death at this point. The spots grow larger, blocking out your vision. Your eyes capture the image of the reflection of the moon in the water before the darkness consumes you completely, and your eyes close, all senses cut off at once.

~

Faint sounds reach your ears, at the same time the realization of lying on something other than water occurred. The sounds formed themselves into the sounds of shouting.

"Shawn, get over her, quick! Bring the blanket, looks like we'll need it."

"We'll need more than one blanket for this, Ember. Look at them! They must have been in the water for hours!"

The sounds of people running came faintly to your ears, the only sense that seems to be working right now. You can't feel anything other than the sense on lying on the ground, and opening your eyes right now seems as impossible as flying.

The sudden feeling of weight startles you, but the most you can do to respond is weakly twitch. Your mind recognizes a blanket being placed on you, and then the feeling of warmth.

"We can't just leave them here, Shawn. And we have no idea who they are, so we can't take them to a hospital. What do you suggest we do?"

"We'll take them home. That's all we can do right now. Hopefully they'll wake up soon, and we can figure out what happened."

The feeling of being lifted faintly makes it through the numb feeling that is all you can comprehend. You seem to be drifting in and out of consciousness, the sounds of the people fading in and out. Trying to separate the realities was difficult. One was silent, and felt like nothing. The other was full of sounds, and felt heavy.

You struggle to stay conscious, but as your body starts to recognize its no longer having to fight in the water, it's becoming more difficult. Your body is shutting itself down to heal, and you're powerless to stop it.

The last thing you remember is the feeling of sinking deeper and deeper into the darkness. Then, all senses cease to work, and your world goes silent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N

Seems out of place a bit, huh? I wasn't sure what book to put this in tbh, but then I realized that the people who really cared about me probably kept up with my most recent books.

Plus, this just about describes my thoughts as of the duration of the past week, and this book is for my thoughts.

Anyways, if you're still confused, let me break it down a bit.

The person, you, or in this case, me, went to a cliff side above a lake.
The intention in their mind was to end their life, because they thought no one cared about them.

They jumped off the cliff, and immediately regretted it. Fighting to stay alive became the priority, just so they could see their best friend again.

But, once exhausted, they gave up. Holding their breath for so long that they pass out, the person had expected death.

But, was rescued. The names used in this book hold importance(but as to how many people know who the names belong to, I believe very few will know).

Anyways, after knowing they are at least somewhat safe again, they shut down to heal, and pass out again.

So, yeah. Long, sleepless night and the anxiety I've been feeling since I cut myself off from my friends has made this chapter.

To my friends.
I'm sorry I did what I did. I hope that y'all will forgive what I did eventually.

Until next time,
~©@$$/@