Chapter 25

"Ready na ba mga gamit n'yo?" Mia asked.

Tumango naman ako. "Yup. Nasa car na ni Bonnie.."

We finally entered Bonnie's car. I giggled when Mia kissed her boyfriend's cheek. Lumingon naman sa akin bigla si Mia.

"Inggit! Mag-boyfriend ka na kasi!"

I just shook my head and chuckled. Hindi pa rin talaga siya nagbabago. Nagulat naman ako nang biglang pumasok si Ion sa loob ng kotse. Tumabi pa siya sa akin.

"Ion! You're here!"

Nakita kong ngumisi siya. "Yeah. Parang ayaw mo?"

Umiling naman kaagad ako. "Of course not. Nagulat lang ako na kasama ka rin pala. Hindi ako informed so.."

"Natagalan ka. Traffic ba, bro?" tanong naman ni Bonnie na ini-start na ang engine ng kaniyang kotse.

"Oo, hinatid pa ako ni Dad eh," Ion answered then looked at me. "Hindi ko nasabi sa 'yo na sasama ako."

Tumango ako saka tipid na ngumiti. "It's fine. Mag-e-enjoy ka sa camp. Buti nga sumama ka."

Mia and I planned this trip last week. We'll do a mountain hiking and also camping. I've always wanted to hike ngunit hindi ako nagkakaroon ng time. Ngayon lang dahil katatapos ko lang sa paintings ko. I also told Manager about our trip and luckily, she let me to do this.

Kailangan ko rin sigurong huminga.

I suddenly missed the noise. Wala si Carlos dahil busy sa kaniyang work. Hindi ko rin alam kung may tampuhan ba sila ni Mia dahil halos hindi na naman nagpapansinan.

Ramdam kong nakatingin sa akin si Ion pero binaliwala ko na lang 'yon. If he wants to say anything, he can directly say it. He doesn't need to hide it from me. Kung ano man 'yon, dapat diretsuhin na niya ako.

The whole ride was a bit boring for me. We chatted but it's just for a while. I suddenly felt awkwardness between Ion and I. I don't know. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pakiramdam ko, lumayo uli ang loob niya sa akin matapos naming mag-reconnect.

"Malapit na uli exhibit, Aline?" Mia suddenly asked.

"Oo eh. Tapos ko na ang paintings. I'm nervous, hindi lang ako ang artist na nandoon.."

"Pupunta kami!" excited niyang sabi. Humarap pa siya sa amin. "Hotel 'yon, right? Saang hotel nga uli?"

"Sa Pelnn," tipid kong sagot. I, then looked at Ion and smiled. "You wanna come?"

Ngumiti rin siya. "Of course. Hindi pwedeng hindi ako pumunta. Gymmo would be there, too."

My forehead creased when he mentioned Gymmo. That's the geek guy that I met before. He's now my friend but I can't deny that he has feelings for me. Nagpaparamdam siya paunti-unti. I'm a bit bothered because I only love him as my friend. I don't want to cross the line anymore.

Hindi ko na lang pinansin pa ang huling sinabi ni Ion.

"We're here!" sabi pa uli ni Ion nang nakangiti.

Saka ko lang na-realize na nakalabas na pala sina Mia. Ready na ring lumabas si Ion at ako na lang ang hinihintay.

"Uh, sorry.."

Inalalayan niya akong lumabas ng kotse. The fog welcomed me. The cold wind blew hard, as if hugging me so tight. I couldn't help but to feel relaxed. Especially now that I'm a bit stressed, I really need to breathe and unwind.

Napansin kong may kinakausap na sina Bonnie na siguro ay tour guide na resident din dito. This is quite far from the city and we aren't familiar here so we obviously need a tour guide. Syempre pa, hindi naman namin kayang mag-hiking nang kami lang. We couldn't risk our lives.

"You're excited, huh?" Ion smiled.

"This is my first time eh."

"First time ko rin. I'm always busy, you know.."

Natawa naman ako nang tumawa siya. "I know. Kaya ngayon mag-e-enjoy tayo! Let's go!"

Hinila ko siya papunta kina Bonnie at Mia. Nabitawan ko na lang ang kamay ni Ion sa gulat nang makita ko si Gymmo and also Stella with him — his cousin that I saw before at the convenience store.

Naalala ko pang na-creepy-han ako sa kaniya noon. But now, we're good friends already.

"Gymmo!" I called him out because of shock.

Nakita ko namang ngumiti siya saka lumapit sa amin. I saw how Stella smiled at me, too.

"You're here! Mag-h-hiking din kayo?" sabi ko saka sumulyap muli kay Stella pati sa mga dala nilang bag.

It is obvious that they'll also hike. I just want to ask to be sure.

"Oo, sinama ako ni Stella.."

Tumango naman ako saka tipid na ngumiti. I felt a bit awkward when Ion suddenly looked at us and cleared his throat.

"Let's go, Aline. They're waiting for us. I'm sure you're excited," sabi ni Ion.

"Of course! Wait lang!" I said and looked at Gymmo. "Susunod din kayo, Gymmo?"

Tumango siya. "Yeah. Hihintayin lang namin ang iba pang kasama."

I was a bit shocked with what he said. May kasama pa pala sila. Ngumiti na lang ako at kumaway sa kanila para magpaalam. I quickly ran towards Ion and followed him. He's now few meters away from me.

"Nauna nang umakyat sina Bonnie.."

Tumango ako saka tinitigan si Ion. It's been a year since Gymmo and I became friends. Ion always act that way whenever I'm with Gymmo or talk to him even when he's around. He's always irritated and even mad for some reasons that I don't know. May naging argumento ba sila noon ni Gymmo na hindi ko alam? Was Gymmo their client before?

Honestly, I don't know what's going on. I want to talk about it but Ion doesn't want to. Lagi niyang sinasabi na walang problema kahit sa tingin ko, mayroon naman talaga.

Umiling na lang ako at winala 'yon sa isipan. Nalibang na lang ako sa ganda ng tanawin. The cold wind is still hugging me. Especially now that we're heading to the highest part of the mountain, it's getting colder and colder.

9 in the morning when I decided to take some photos. I need an inspiration for the upcoming exhibit and also, I need to relax and breathe right now. Just so I wouldn't feel exhausted that much for the event that will happen next week. Malayo-layo pa 'yon ngunit talagang pinaghahandaan na nina Manager Lee ang exhibit na 'yon. May iba ring artists sa gallery that's why I'm a little bit more pressured and worried now.

I don't want them to be disappointed.

"Aline, samahan na kita," Ion offered but I refused. Gusto ko munang mapag-isa.

Lumayo ako nang kaunti sa kanila habang sila naman, nagpapahinga. We're all tired when we arrived here but the place is just so overwhelming and breathtaking. Wala na kaming panahon pa para damdamin ang pagod.

I heavily sighed and smiled a little. This is my first time! Dapat kong lubos-lubosin!

I sat down as I take more photos. Kinuhanan ko ang langit, mga halaman at kakaunting tubong bulaklak pati na rin ang view sa ibaba. The view was so wonderful!

Nagulat ako nang biglang lumakas ang ihip ng hangin kaya bahagyang nalaglag ang beanie sa ulo ko. My eyes widened when it slipped out of my hands!

Pilit kong inabot ang beanie na nandoon na nakapatong sa may sanga. May kalayuan 'yon sa pwesto ko kaya hindi ko maabot.

Napasigaw na lang ako nang bigla akong nadulas. Nakuha ko na uli ang beanie pero ako naman ang napahamak! I could die here! Masyadong mataas ang kinalalagyan ko ngayon!

I groaned when I needed to stretch my arms more. Hindi ko maabot ang lupang inaapakan kanina kaya pilit kong inaangat ang sarili. I winced in pain because of what I did. I'm in the verge of crying and giving up when someone suddenly pulled my arms up slowly. I'm trembling in fear because I might fall but somehow, I'm relieved now.

Nang tuluyan na akong maangat ng kung sino, napabuga na lang ako ng hangin. My heartbeat is still fast right now because of what happened. And when I looked up, I was even more shocked when I saw him standing right in front of me.

"Be careful next time. Baka wala nang tutulong sa 'yo.."

My mouth is slightly open while staring at him. I can't believe it!

Maraming nagbago sa kaniya, including his physical appearance. His biceps are now toned. He looks so manly with the gray sleeveless shirt that he's wearing. I believe that he is now cold. He has changed but the emotions on his eyes are still there. There is just something that I couldn't figure out.

I panicked when he started to walk away from me. Kaagad akong tumayo kahit pa may pamamanhid ang katawan ko.

"C-Chance," mahina kong tawag sa kaniya.

He stopped from walking but he didn't turn to look at me. I stiffened a bit for a moment. Nanginig pa lalo ang katawan ko.

"Chance, please! Don't leave me again!" I frustratedly said. I do sound desperate but I don't care anymore.

He's finally home! For two years that I didn't see him, I'm now excited that he's here! Sa wakas! I've been waiting for him. God knows how much I want to see him.

This time, he really stopped and looked at me. Namangha ako nang makitang may ngisi kahit papaano sa labi niya pero alam kong punong-puno 'yon ng sarkasmo.

"I left, Aline because you want me to leave. You want me gone.."

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. Tinitigan ko na lang siya dahil halos wala nang salitang lumabas sa bibig ko. His aura was so dark and it intimidates me. It made my knees tremble more. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako.

"H-Hindi, Chance. Alam mo 'yan. I didn't want you to leave! Maaaring gano'n ang tingin mo no'ng una pero hindi—"

"Now, stop," he cut me off. "It's done. Kung ano man ang rason mo, just keep it to yourself. I left the country for you. You made me leave. Tapos. No more explanation."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. Hindi pa ako tuluyang nakakapag-react nang biglang may lumapit sa kaniya. And to my surprise, it was a girl! Probably his girlfriend!

"Chance, let's go.."

I saw how the girl wrapped her arms around Chance's. There's a part of me that crashed upon seeing them together. Gusto kong maiyak pero alam kong hindi dapat!

"No, no. Please, pakinggan mo muna ako!" I begged in so much hopelessness.

"There's no point if I listen to you. Again, tapos na 'yon. The important thing right now is you achieved your goal. Nakapag-hiking ka," sabi niya saka bahagyang ngumisi.

My mouth opened a bit after he said those words. Hindi ako makapagsalita. Hanggang ngayon pa rin pala ay naaalala niya ang gusto kong gawin and one of that is to hike on a mountain.

Before I could utter a word again, they left me. Chance left me again without looking at me. He didn't even hesitate to leave. Talagang umalis siya. He left me again but this time, I didn't ask for it. Kusa siyang umalis palayo sa akin.

Napayuko na lang ako. I prevented myself from crying and somehow, for the past few years that passed, I can control my emotions but not today. Not now. Lumuha ako habang tinatanaw silang palayo sa akin. Halos hindi ko na sila makita dahil sa luha at kapal ng hamog.

I have many questions in mind! I want Chance to answer all of those! Baka mabaliw ako!

How old is he now? Did he even manage to handle their business well? Kumusta siya? What course did he take? When did he arrive here? Who was that girl a while ago? Galit ba siya sa akin? Gusto niya pa rin ba ako?

But seeing him together with that girl makes me so jealous. I admit that up until now, I still have feelings for Chance. Hindi 'yon nawala kailan man. Even though we lost our connections along the way, my feelings for him didn't fade at all. It's as if his name is already engraved here in my heart. He holds a special place here in my heart that no one could ever replace.

How can I even move on when I'm still in love with him?

Pero kahit ganoon ay matatanggap ko naman kung sakaling hindi na niya ako gusto. I would accept it if he has a girlfriend already. At least I know that he has moved on from me and he's now happy despite of what happened on his past and what I did to him before.

Matatanggap ko pa 'yon. Pero hindi ko matatanggap ang galit niya sa akin. I just want to at least make myself clear. Dahil alam kong hindi kami nagkakaunawaan dalawa lalo na noong umalis siya. Inuna ko ang kagustuhang makaalis siya kaagad, not minding my own reasons and explanations.

Pero sa kabila ng lahat, hindi ko siya masisisi. I should blame myself instead. I'm at fault here! I made him leave! Yes! He's right!

I tried to make myself calm but I failed. Tulo lang nang tulo ang mga luha ko. Nagulat na lang ako nang papalapit na sina Mia. Mia immediately ran towards me after she saw me. I cried even more!

"Aline, what happened?" malakas na tanong ni Ion ang narinig ko.

"Aline? Bakit?" Niyakap ako ni Mia.

I just shook my head and hugged her back. I don't think I can tell them what happened earlier. Hindi pa rin ako kumakalma.

"Shh, tahan na.."

"Love, mabuti pa pumunta muna kayo sa tent. Aline is just probably tired," biglang sabi ni Bonnie.

Inalalayan ako ni Mia sa paglalakad kahit pa alam kong marami siyang tanong, ganoon din si Ion but they respect me, I know, so they remained silent.

Nang makapasok kami sa tent ni Mia ay hindi na pumasok pa ang dalawa. Hindi naman din kalakihan itong tent. I sighed in relief. At least, I'm somehow calm and composed now not unlike a while ago. Halos hindi na ako makahinga sa sobrang iyak. The memories of the past suddenly came back when I saw Chance again. It haunts me. It bothers me until now.

"Now, tell me. Anong nangyari?" Mia asked after a moment.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin. "I.. saw Chance, Mia but he didn't listen to me. Hindi niya man lang pinakinggan ang explanation ko!"

"Ano?" gulat na tanong niya. "Well, hindi na ako magtataka. Naririnig ko na rin sa iba kong friends na dumating na si Chance with his uh, girlfriend. I'm sure, may galit 'yon sa 'yo dahil sa nangyari dati—"

"G-Girlfriend? May girlfriend na siya?"

My eyes widened when she slowly nodded her head. I looked away. I'm right. Totoong may girlfriend nga siya at 'yon ang babaeng kasama niya. I don't know why I became sad but it's obviously because I'm still into Chance. I still like him!

"Elise ang name niya. Sabi nila, Chance met her when he was still in America. Hindi ko na sinabi sa 'yo. Baka wala ka namang pakialam.."

Napabuntong-hininga na lang uli ako. Nangangapa ako sa sasabihin.

"Two years na rin ang lumipas, sis. Siguro naman naka-move on ka na kay Chance?"

I quickly looked at her. "That's the problem, kahit kailan hindi naman ako nakapag-move on sa kaniya. Hanggang ngayon, Mia, gusto ko pa rin siya and it's wrong! He has a girlfriend and I made him leave before! I'm the one to blame why I'm hurting right now! Kung hindi ko lang siya pinaalis noon, baka hanggang ngayon gusto niya pa rin ako!"

I let out all the emotions that I have here in my heart. It feels so heavy and disturbing. Pero kahit papaano ay gumaan naman ang loob ko sa pagsigaw at pag-iyak.

"No, tama na. Wala kang kasalanan."

"I'm sorry. I ruined our trip.."

I heavily sighed as I hugged Mia tight. Nakita kong sumilip mula sa lumabas si Ion. I bet he heard all of the words that I said. I'm slightly ashamed because of my sudden breakdown but I know that they're my friends. They surely understand what I'm going through right now.

Saksi sila kung paano ako niligawan ni Chance noon. Kung paano ako nahulog sa kaniya. Kung paano ko siya ipinagtabuyan. They witnessed it all.

Too bad, I didn't even confess my feelings towards Chance. I didn't have a chance to tell him that I like him.

Nagsisisi akong hindi ko man lang nasabi noon sa kaniya kung gaano ko siya kagusto.

But when Ion gently smiled at me, I know that someday, I'll get through this. Someday..

--

I composed myself as I walked downstairs. It has a red carpet on it, making the event looks so prestigious and elegant. Pakiramdam ko ay naglalakad ako sa langit kahit pa maraming tao ang nasa paligid ko at kinakabahan ako. This is also covered by media that's why I'm very worried and nervous now.

Nagulat na lang ako nang may bigla akong nabangga. I became more shocked when I saw Chance in front of me! He's wearing a black suit right now and I must admit, he looks good.

Namalayan ko na lang na hawak niya pala ang likod ko para suportahan dahil kung hindi ay pwede akong mahulog sa hagdan. I stared at his eyes directly. I tried to look for even a bit of emotion on his eyes but I didn't find any.

Para lang akong nakatingin sa kawalan.

"Hanggang ngayon, pangit ka pa rin.."

Nanlaki ang mata ko at napabitaw sa hawak niya. His words are very familiar to me. When I turned around, I can't see him anymore. Nang makitang pini-picture-an ako ng isa sa mga photographer ay napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin.

Nilingon ko si Manager Lee sa tabi ko. I hope she didn't mind what happened a while ago. I smiled a bit. I don't think I can do this without her help, their help. I breathe deeply when the host finally asked me to join them on stage. Manager looked at me with her smiling eyes.

"Don't worry, sasama ako sa 'yo sa stage.."

I sighed in relief and nodded. Tinaas ko nang bahagya ang red long evening gown na suot. Inalalayan naman ako ng host sa pag-akyat.

I widely smiled when I saw my family and friends here. The Benjamints is also here, I'm happy. I somehow gained confidence despite of the nervousness I'm feeling right now. Kahit papaano ay gumaan ang loob ko nang makita sila.

My paintings are all here on the stage. At kinakabahan ako dahil alam kong tinititigan 'yon ng guests at iba pang artists. Baka mapahiya ako. I know for myself that I'm a good artist but of course, there is still someone who is better than me.

Hinanap naman ng mga mata ko si Chance. There is only one event here in the hotel. He surely went here for me! To witness the exhibit! Yes, Aline! Umasa ka!

Umawang nang kaunti ang bibig ko nang marinig muli ang pangalan ko mula sa host. I stiffened. I can't even move my body. My head is throbbing in pain right now and because of that, my vision became blurry. But before everything went black, I felt a hot liquid coming from my head and I also saw Chance in the middle of the audiences.

——