Sometimes I lay awake at night listening to the silence of the world around me.

My mind drifts back to everything that I did that day.
Every mistake I made everything I could have done better.

Everything I could have improved but didn't.

The darkness seems to get just that much more deeper.

A weight lays just snugly on my chest the breathing harder with each breath taken.

One night I was staying over at my best friends house and had a panic attack on her floor.

I laid there listening to my heart pound in my ears trying not to wake her till it was over.

All I could manage to do was wake her and ask for a glass of water.

I felt better that the lights were off so she couldn't see how much it had shaken me.

When I'm surrounded by friends I replace the fear with a smile I have no desire to worry them.

There are times when I don't even want to leave my house for fear of having a attack.

The glares of people wondering why I don't just brush it off or think it's attention seeking.

Someone very close to me deals with this as well our experiences are different.
That doesn't mean it's not real that doesn't mean one is real and the other is fake.

This is not something I brag about or wish for anyone else to deal with.

This is my experience every person that has it is effected different.

It won't make you cool it's not a joke it's not something to wish you had.

Don't judge someone until you know the whole story.

This is just a little peek at mine.