Fuck it! I'm updating again.

It was Saturday morning and I was pacing in my bedroom. I was worked up over my exam results. I knew that I had passed my practical exam, and that had been the exam I was the most worried about, but after the exhilaration of it had worn off, I was worried about how well I did in my academic exams. "Please, stop pacing Izu. There's nothing for you to worry about. Calm down." Shoto's monotonous voice spoke up from where he was laid sprawled across my bed. I whipped around and stared him down. "Calm down? Calm down!" I screeched at my boyfriend in anger. "How can you tell me to calm down when my academic career is at stake! These test results are immensely important! How can you tell me to calm down!" I shrieked. I was passing my bed for 50th time when Shoto's hand shot out and held my wrist gently. "Love, you need to calm down. I can see it in your eyes that this isn't just about your test results." Shoto whispered gently, pulling me down to sit on his lap. I tried to stand up, but Shoto just held me firmly in his arms. His arms encircled my waist and his head rested in my hair. I could feel Shoto sniffing my hair which was a bit odd, but whatever floats his boat. "Izuku... Something else is bothering you." Shoto whispered into my forest of locks. I didn't want to tell Shoto.  I hadn't even told Kacchan. "Please Izuku. I love- I like you so much. I just want you to tell me what's going on in your head. If you don't tell me, tell Katsuki. Tell your dads. Tell Jiro." Shoto pleaded with me. I hated hearing how desperate he sounded. I hated seeing the melancholy look in his eyes as he stared into mine. I took a deep breath and let my head flop onto my boyfriend's chest. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm just... Recently, I've been remembering when I lived with my mum and Hisashi. My biological father. I'm just not in a good place." I sniffled into Shoto's chest. I hadn't actually told my boyfriend about my childhood. Sure he knew that my mother was dead and that I had a lot of fond memories of her, but that was it. He may have guessed that my father was a less than reputable character when the USJ was attacked. But I hadn't told him the whole story. I wanted to. I just didn't know if I had the strength. I resolved myself as I looked into my boyfriend's sad eyes. It would probably help me to tell another person about my experiences. The more people close to me who knew, the more people could comfort me. My therapist said so. 

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna tell you about my childhood before my Dad adopted me. It's not a pretty story, and I might have to stop to cry. But telling you is another step towards accepting my past and using it as fuel to better my self." I told him resolutely. Shoto nodded his head slowly. I picked up the photo frame on my bedside table and sat between my boyfriend's legs. "You know this is my mum. Inko Midoriya. She was such a sweet woman. I loved her, she never gave up. She fought for me to the end." I could feel tears in my eyes but I ignored them and pressed on. 

"This photo was taken before my quirk manifested. After I developed my quirk, Hisashi Midoriya changed. I don't know why he suddenly became the way he did. He didn't suddenly start drinking. He didn't lose his job. Nothing drastic happened in our lives to provoke him to change. Some people may say it was because my quirk had nothing to do with either of my parents. Some people may have said my mother cheated on my father, they had been married for 2 years before I was born. That wasn't the case though. Hisashi had us do a DNA test and it came back that I was his son, it was just a quirk mutation. There was no obvious reason for him to change, and either way, it wouldn't justify what he did to my mother and me." my voice was laced with venom at the end of my sentence. I had paused to place the photo back on the bedside table and was leaning back into Shoto's chest fiddling with his fingers. Shoto was listening patiently, letting me speak at my own pace.

" When I was 4, Hisashi started abusing my mother and I. There was no build-up. One second we were a happy family, then we were being hit, then we weren't allowed to leave the house. I didn't go outside for 3 years. I didn't feel the sun on my skin for 3 years. I wasn't even allowed out into the garden." I spoke quietly, feeling Shoto's hand rub my hair soothingly as he waited for me to continue.

"It was awful. We were both beat within an inch of our lives multiple times. We couldn't go to the hospital. I can't count the number of times I saw my mother passed out on the floor in a coma. Hisashi never even had the common courtesy to move her to a bed. We were beat for everything. If we spoke too much. If we didn't speak enough. Getting in his way. Eating. Sleeping. Being injured. My mother tried to save me all she could, but she couldn't save me when she was on the verge of death after being beat. At those times, my father could do whatever he wanted and he could get away with it. He burned me, stabbed me, cut me and all sorts of other things. That's why I have so many scars." I explained to Shoto, running my hand over his knuckles to soothe myself.

"It wasn't just physical but mental torture as well. He told me he would kill me. He killed my rabbit in cold blood right in front of me and force me to cook and eat it. He held a knife to my throat the entire time. He threatened to kill my mum. He threatened to find Kacchan's family and slaughter them. Once, he came back covered in blood and told me he had killed Kacchan's family, I cried for days, which resulted in being beat. He was unhinged. He is still unhinged." I said with a shiver. I couldn't find the tears to cry. I was just numb as I recounted my early childhood to Shoto.

"I was 7 when I was saved. Nobody came to my house and busted down the door. Nobody knew I was alive, but I still consider myself saved. That night, Hisashi had a guest to dinner. They were doing some shady business deal. I was sent to bed early and I fell asleep. I was woken up when I heard my mother shouting at Hisashi. She never shouted at him after the first year. She didn't want to leave me alone with him. I went downstairs and saw them in the kitchen. He started to beat her, but it was more severe that time. He didn't stop. He just kept going. He used his fist and his quirk. I watched as the life left my mother's body. Her eyes dulled as they stared directly at me. I knew that without my mum,  I would also die, so I ran away into the night. I remember that night that it was raining and there was a full moon. I was running down the street, that photo in my mouth when I came bumped into Shota. He picked me up thinking I was a normal kitten but he got the shock of his life when I turned into a human. He took me to the police station where Hisashi tried to take me back but was arrested for child abuse and neglect. When I told the police that he had murdered my mother and they found her body he was also put on trial for murder in the first degree and domestic violence. He was supposed to be in jail for life but he was broken out and now he's on the lose." I realised that tears had begun to stream from my eyes and my chest felt heavy like it usually did when I spoke about my mother's murder.

Shoto didn't say anything, he didn't have to, his actions said more than he ever could. He pulled me into a tight embrace before pulling back and kissing away the tears which fell from my eyes. He looked down at me with so much love. He didn't pity me as some did. He understood who I was and he knew that I would hate to see him pity me. He simply brushed my hair away from my forehead and placed a chaste kiss on it. "No matter what happens, I'll be here for you Izuku." he whispered lovingly.

The next day dawned bright and I was once again pacing. But this time I was in the lounge area. My friends were all sat in on the sofa trying to watch TV but they were distracted by the pat of my feet as they hit the carpet again and again. "OH MY LORD IZUKU! STOP STRESSING SHITHEAD! YOU DID FINE!" Kacchan screamed at me. I jumped slightly and whipped around to look at him. I levelled a glare at him before stomping over and poking him in the chest several times. "That's all right for you to say Mr I'm a genius." I hissed at him. He rolled his eyes and pushed me down into Shoto's lap where my boyfriend's arms instinctively wrapped around me. I sighed before letting my head flop back onto his chest. I knew that I had little to no reason to be stressing out over my results but I couldn't help but be nervous that I didn't do well good enough. I was scared to disappoint everyone and make them think less of me. 

That night, I was in my bedroom listening to music when there was a knock at my door. I took out my earbuds and shouted for the person to let themself in. Papa opened the door and peered in before walking over and sitting beside me on my bed. "Some little birds told me you were stressing out." he told me calmly. I cursed my best friends out under my breath. Of course, they told my papa. "There's no need for you to worry Izuku. You're smart. You'll do fine." Papa reassured me. I smiled at him and thanked him. He looked over to my alarm clock and stood up with a huff and grumble about his knees aching. "You better go to sleep. It's a school day tomorrow and I don't want you to be tired." he teased me before leaving the room. I looked at the time and saw that it was 11:30 at night. He was right, it would be best if I went to sleep. I placed the book I had been writing in on my bedside table and turned off the lamp. In the inky darkness of my room, I rolled over and fell into a thankfully dreamless sleep. 

I might just post all of the remaining chapters tomorrow, but if I do that then there won't be anything this weekend (most likely). Anyway, thank you for reading chapter 51 of Occurrence and I hope you have a wonderful day wherever you are.