Rachael's Playlist 1/?

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy

We were happy, very happy. Until we weren't. I think that's how it works for everyone. The chemistry was there, it really was, it just took us a while to notice it. I loved him and he loved me. He started to pull away a bit though especially after he started to hang out with...her...more. Her. Why did I say her. She's one of my best friends. I'm not mad at her. I'm mad at him. I loved him and he...he ruined me, everything. I don't even know who I am anymore. He was my everything, but he chose another girl. That's fine, I'll figure out who I am on my own, but I'll never be the same as I was with him.

But I'm not that girl
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Who am I? Does anyone know who I am on the inside? He did, he always did. I was never good enough for him but she is, she definitely is. He still makes me happy. I know he shouldn't he was the one in the wrong but I can't help but feel those butterflies in my stomach anytime I see him or that warm tingle when our hands touch accidentally. I really need to forget how happy he made me.

Every so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Sometimes I forget about what happened and for a few blissful minutes I'm content. Until I remember. It hurts so much, I want to just rip my heart out sometimes. Dad asked me a question about his wedding the other day and I just started crying, it had just suddenly set in how alone I truly am.

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows
I'm not that girl

She truly is perfect for him, I see how happy they are in the hallways sometimes. He's happier than he ever way when we were together. That's okay though as long as he's happy, I'm happy, no matter what he's done to me. He'll never be the bad guy in my eyes, maybe that makes me dumb but I don't care. I wonder if he ever just looks at her and gets reminded of me...definitely not. She's so beautiful, the way she has her perfectly neat hair pushed back in her iconic black headband. The way he smiles when her ocean blue eyes meet his warm brown ones. There is no way he see me in her and is reminded of his fault because her beauty is blinding.

Don't wish don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl

The only thing I have ever asked for was to not be alone. I wished on so many stars as a kid, and for a while I wasn't. But good things never last long, especially when you're as terrible a person as I am. When you're me, you have to make yourself noticed otherwise you'll be lost in this lonely world. He made so many promises to me that he just ended up breaking. So maybe he's not as good of a person as I believe he his, but I love him. He obviously doesn't love me, he is completely in love with her. I can tell because when I'm staring at him, I see them staring at each other. They look at each other the way I used to look at him. God, I wish I was her. Maybe I'm just always meant to be alone. That's alright though I'll manage. I hope they're happy with each other. I hope you, Peter Parker are very happy with your beautiful, popular, wonderful new girlfriend Gwen Stacy.