(this part is just incorrect quote generator things :P)

flynn: Fuck.
aster: We've got to work on your cursing.
flynn: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

*later*

flynn: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
aster: Mind your language!
flynn: What else am I supposed to say, "Woe is I"???
aster:
flynn: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

flynn: Hey babe can I get a sip of your water?
aster: It's not water.
flynn: Vodka, I like your style!
aster: It's vinegar.
flynn: Wh-Wha-
aster: It's vinegar, PxSSY.

flynn: So what do you do?
aster: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers.
flynn: Wow, impressive.
aster: Then I'll move on to Leos.

flynn, pointing: May I sit there?
aster: That's my lap
flynn: That doesn't answer my question, aster.

flynn: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE-
aster: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially
flynn, desperately, as aster bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE-
aster: Oh! B positive.
flynn: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE-
aster:

aster: flynn was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
flynn: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.
aster: flynn, you ate a chair.

flynn: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.
aster: Three words.
flynn:

flynn: *Accidentally hits aster in the face*
flynn: *Trying to decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
flynn: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
aster: What's wrong with you?!

flynn, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
aster: How?
flynn: How what?
aster: How could they be worse?
flynn: They couldn't, I lied.
aster:

(aster told flynn's mom to shut the fxck up [context later])

flynn: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
aster: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
flynn: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

flynn: Go to Hell

aster, tearing up: I wish I could

flynn:

flynn: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
aster: You mean literally or figuratively?
flynn: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

flynn: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
aster: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

(at this point, flynn would just yell: YOU'RE A HUMAN-)

flynn: I prevented a murder today.
aster: Really? How'd you do that?
flynn: self control.

flynn: A theif.
aster: Thief?
flynn: Theif.
aster: I before E, except after C.
flynn: Thceif.
aster: No.

flynn: Hey, you want some leftovers?
aster: What's that?
flynn: You've never had leftovers???
aster: No, because I'm not a quitter.

flynn: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
aster: Twelve, actually.
flynn: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
aster: Yours!
flynn: That's right: no one's.

flynn: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
aster: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
flynn: Absolutely not.

(how they started dating i guess-)

flynn: I'm going to take you out
aster: great, it's a date!
flynn: I meant that as a threat.
aster: See you at five!

flynn: I'm incredibly fast at math.
aster: Alright, what's 30x17?
flynn: 47
aster: That's not even close.
flynn: But it was fast.

flynn: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming
aster: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

flynn: Do you think you'd actually notice if someone didn't cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn't notice It?
aster: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!!
flynn: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I'm glad I could be an inspiration.

(flynn trying to be a pain in the ass)

flynn: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you
aster: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
flynn: Jokes on you, I can't do math

flynn: You fuckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon.
aster, not looking up from their book: Spear.
flynn: BLOCKED.

(all hail the fucking knife stick :D )

flynn: This is bothering me.
aster: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
flynn: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

(when flynn's mom did a bad mom move and poisoned the food)

flynn: *Gets down on one knee*
aster: Oh my god, it's finally happening.
flynn: *Falls over*
aster: The poison is kicking in.

flynn: You're right.
aster: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

aster: Is something burning?
flynn: Just my love for you.
aster: flynn, the toaster is on fire.

--------now for the homie squad ones-----

flynn: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?
aster: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, crystal?
crystal: Probably "road work ahead".
lunar: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

flynn: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
aster:
crystal:
lunar:
Everyone Else At flynn's Surprise Birthday Party:

aster: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

flynn: *Gently taps table*
aster: *Taps back*
crystal: What are they doing?
lunar: Morse code.
flynn: *Aggressively taps table*
aster: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

(i feel like he called aster a pxssy or somethin lol)

flynn: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
aster: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
crystal: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
lunar: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

flynn: *Screams*
aster: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
crystal: Should we do something?
lunar: No, I want to see who wins.

flynn: Care for another sundae, weenie?
aster: I am not a weenie!
crystal: Relax, you're among friends. *raises their drink*
aster: My friends don't hang out at Weenie Hut Jr's.
lunar: You tell 'em, aster! *sips their drink*
aster: lunar, what're you doing here?
lunar: I'm always here on Double Weenie Wednesdays.

flynn: Is stabbing someone immoral?
aster: Not if they consent to it.
crystal: Depends who you're stabbing.
lunar: YES?!?

flynn: Have you seen a person named 'aster' around here?
crystal: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
lunar: It looks fine to me?
crystal: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

flynn: I think lunar was right.
aster: I'm surprised they haven't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
crystal: They wouldn't do that.
lunar: You're right, crystal. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
lunar: *turns around, the shirt they're wearing says 'lunar Told You So' on the back*

flynn: Yo is lunar sleeping or dead?
aster: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
crystal: Yeah, so did I. *lying to piss her gf off*
lunar: Okay first of all, fuck you-

[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake]
flynn: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of... 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake
aster: You're in a prison cell :)
crystal: You did great. Well, I got a 10-
aster: You're in a prison cell with bars on it :3
lunar: I got a 1!
aster: You're in... a cube-shaped place.

flynn: How did none of you hear what I just said?
aster: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
crystal: I got distracted about halfway through.
lunar: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

flynn: Truth or dare?
aster: Dare
flynn: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
crystal: Hey aster
aster, confused: Yeah?
crystal: Could you move? I'm trying to get to lunar

flynn, setting down a card: Ace of spades
aster, pulling out an Uno card: +4
crystal, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
lunar, trembling: What are we playing-

flynn: I think we're missing something.
aster: Teamwork?
crystal: Cohesion?
lunar: A general sense of what we're doing?

flynn: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
aster: What?
lunar: That you're a child.
crystal: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
flynn: Shit.
aster: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
crystal: OH MY GOD LUNAR FELL OFF!!!

flynn: Wake me up...
aster: Before you go go!
crystal: When September ends...
lunar: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

(my addition:

crystal: *whispering* can't wake up!

lunar: WAKE ME UP~)

flynn: Dammit, aster!
aster: What?! It wasn't me!
flynn: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, crystal!
crystal: Not me either.
flynn: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
lunar: *whistles*

flynn: You know those things will kill you, right?
aster, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.
crystal, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.
lunar: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

crystal: Why are flynn and aster sitting with their backs to each other?
lunar: They had a fight.
crystal: Then why are they holding hands?
lunar: They get sad when they fight.

flynn, banging on the door: aster! Open up!
aster: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
crystal: No, they meant-
lunar: Let him finish.

flynn: Why is aster so sad?
crystal: They took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes
flynn: And...?
aster: I got Glamrock Chica.

flynn: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
aster: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
crystal: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!
lunar: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
flynn: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.

flynn: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
aster: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
flynn: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING CRYSTAL WITH ME
lunar, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.

(all for now <3)