name || Icepaw
reasoning || white patches
just like last time, good name & reasoning!

[1/1]

gender || Tom
cool!

rank || Warrior Apprentice
okay!

clan || SparrowClan, a clan located in a territory full of brooks, streams, and creeks, a clan that is known to hunt birds and some bunnies here and there, there clan is also known to be enemies of Shoreclan and allies with Mapleclan
sounds like a cool clan :)

appearance || defined, polydactyl, lilac tabby color point cat. They have a white muzzle, chest, belly, and paws, and have long, clean fur which smells like pine nettles. They have a few scars here and there. They have small blue eyes.
sounds realistic & very pretty! same score as last time!

[2/2]

personality || Caring and considerate, but also a bit aggressive when it comes to his clan, loyal, and would put themselves after another cat even if they don't like each other. Clumsy and often oblivious to basically anything BUT betrayal, they are often the first cat to figure something out because of how snoopy they are.
i see that you've added some negative traits in here, which are nice! it's much more balanced out!! however, i think that snoopy and oblivious are just a tad contradicting - i just can't really see how that plays out. other than that, all looks good!

[3/4]

family || Mother - Daffodilblaze - defined, Polydactyl, Lilac color pointed she-cat.
Father - Firegaze - Dark ginger, blue eyed tabby tom.
Brother - Asterstep - Dark ginger blue eyed tom.
nice! i can see where the genetics are from, and they look to work out pretty well!

[1/1]

likes || cold weather, love to eat crow
mhm!

[1/1]

dislikes || The smell of grass
okay!

[1/1]

backstory || when Icepaw was younger their clan often fought over a stretch of territory with a bordering clan, and has led to many losses close to Icepaw. One of them almost killing him but instead killing his mother. causing him to start being more patient and think things threw, learn how to deal with mistakes, and train himself to the best.
this is pretty nice! however, i must say, surely the death of his mother (and almost death for him) has impacted him negatively in some ways? it can't all just be positive - though, there might be negative impacts and it's just not on here, let me know if that's the case! also, what's his relationship with his mother like? were they close, or did they not like each other? this could've functioned into the impact that the death had on him.

As he did, which could've been the biggest mistake of his life... You see, Icepaw HAD to carry his line to survival in SparrowClan...
is there a reason he absolutely had to?

His father, Firegaze and his brother, Asterstep, lived in CrowClan... You'd have to cross SparrowClan and HawkClan's territory to get their, which would take about a moon.. if you're quick. So Icepaw was naturally the last Flamebreeze descendent in SparrowClan..
this is great so far, but i've got some questions! who's flamebreeze? they were never mentioned before, are they important? are they related through mother or father's side of the family? if i guessed, i'd guess mother's because later it states that the clan needed flamebreeze's guidance and icepaw's father and brother live in another clan. did icepaw's mother have siblings or cousins or something to continue the bloodline? and if they were related on the mother's side of the family, why would the distance of icepaw's father matter?

And if he were to die... Then the Clan would be doomed without Flamebreeze's guidance.
why? why can't the clan live without flamebreeze's guidence? and how would icepaw get that guidance, assuming flamebreeze is dead and the clan's getting it through icepaw?

So the Clan treasured Icepaw, restricting him. So when Daffodilblaze passed, Icepaw was trained under 2 Mentors. Willowclaw and Stormbreak. And if he didn't become the best... There clan would be doomed
dun dun dunnnnn

overall, i think it was pretty good! just some details to hash out, but i do love the added details. i can definitely see a good plot for a book!

[1/2]

final rating || 10/12 [included bonus points]

|~~~|

thanks for letting me rate icepaw! a lot of details were added, which are definitely good!! as said, i can definitely see a good book out of this!