Name:larklion

Nice, if you could explain it that'd be nice

Gender: tom

Cool, I don't see a lot of toms

Age: 24

Human years I'm guessing? Nothing wrong with that.

Clan:born in shadowclan but spends time with the other clans.

Hm, I feel like stuff like this is overused. Can't cats just stick to their clan?

Rank: helper (watch moonkitty video i want warrior cats to change permanently to understand the rank)

Ok

Sexuality:homoflexible

Cool

Appearance: a slim tom with messy white and black fur with grey eyes One of his most noticeable features is the shadow below each of his eyes, a result of him being an insomniac. His claws aren't really sharp due to his habit of biting them. He has a small hunch in his back.

Nice! I like this a lot and it's really descriptive. The 

Personality:quite secretive, and only communicates with the world through his former mentor waterflight. very intelligent, though his disheveled and languid appearance masks his great powers of deduction and many question his abilities upon viewing him.He is also shown to have a dry sense of humor, and he isn't above making sarcastic remarks to others. Although he tends to be polite, to some larklion can seem condescending at times. Larklion is almost always encountered while performing actions that are considered inappropriate or rude. Larklion has a very sensitive pride.

(Thanks for the detail) 

So here's the thing. I'm guessing you don't just have one personality. You probably act differently with different people. This is likely the case for cats in Warriors as well, and I'd recommend writing... more...? Yeah I know writing personality is hard, but you could add more. Otherwise, nice job. 

Running: 5

Hunting: 6

Swimming: 3

Climbing: 4

Figthing: 7

Sneaking: 4

Makes sense, especially because I would assume he learns the skills of other clans

Residence: a tree long in shadowclan territory.

Hm, ok

Family: unknown to him

OF COURSE. I mean, you could at least write who they are. Plus, not every single warriors cat needs dead, mystery parents.

Friends:n/a

This doesn't make much sense to me. If he goes everywhere, every clan, shouldn't he at least have some allys?

Enemies: barrypawA yellow/gold tom with mud stands fur and grey eyes.Aggressive harsh and violent.

Ok, a rival.

Mate:lightyarrowlight-brown tom with brown eyes He is considered to be quite handsomehardworking, talented, and a natural genius. Highly perceptive and good with problem solving. Lightyarrow was a skilled planner and good at mapping out scenarios. Furthermore. very popular among peers and adored by his family members. However, his high intelligence and constant praise from adults laid the foundation for an intense level of hubris. very popular among peers and adored by his family members. However, his high intelligence and constant praise from adults laid the foundation for an intense level of hubris

Woah, how does Larklion have a great mate that's super popular, but no friends? That makes very little sense. (I like Lightyarrow's description)

Kits:n/a

Other importante cats:waterflightwhite and grey eyes tall and a scar on his ear from a fight. 

Wait! What- why is waterflight important though?

(Mentor)mellowkelpGinger tom with blue eyes and a scar on the left side of his face that starts on his nose and ends at the top of his left eye from a fox attack. 

Nice, scars are good.

(Apprentice)Nettleriverslender tom short, shaggy White fur and grey eyes.

Cool.

(Apprentice)

...?

Backstory: both of larklion parents died when he was a kit. He was an apprentice to waterflight. He had two best friends Applepaw and barrypaw he had a crush on Berrypaw. One day he found Applepaw's body in the river barrypaw telling him that he jumped in. One day the deputy kits were killed while everyone was trying to find the killer larkpaw found the killer was barrypaw and told the leader getting Barrypaw exiled. The leader decided to make him a warrior early. Larklion decides to help all the clans with cases training mallowkelp and Nettleriver in the process. He met lighyarrow later became mate's with lightyarrow. One day he faund a hared murder to sold cats that commeted crimes were getting killd. Larklion had his suspicions but they were always wrong. The clans started to get annoyed thinking he knew the killer and wasn't saying it.. Later on Nettleriver and mellowkelp told him that his mate was the killer. Larklion went to confronté his mate, getting into a fight that ended in his mate's death.

Ah, okay this clears things up. Let's break this down into parts, shall we?

1. both of larklion parents died when he was a kit.

Why. Is it too much to ask for an Oc to have living parents?

2. He was an apprentice to waterflight.

So that's who waterflight is

3. He had two best friends Applepaw and barrypaw he had a crush on Berrypaw. One day he found Applepaw's body in the river barrypaw telling him that he jumped in. One day the deputy kits were killed while everyone was trying to find the killer larkpaw found the killer was barrypaw and told the leader getting Barrypaw exiled.

Harsh. Well, serves him right for murdering cats. This also explains their rivalry I guess.

4. The leader decided to make him a warrior early. Larklion decides to help all the clans with cases training mallowkelp and Nettleriver in the process.

OF COURSE. Do any warrior cat ocs become a warrior normally?

5. He met lighyarrow later became mate's with lightyarrow.

Yay! I like Lightyarrow.

6. One day he faund a hared murder to sold cats that commeted crimes were getting killd. Larklion had his suspicions but they were always wrong. The clans started to get annoyed thinking he knew the killer and wasn't saying it.. Later on Nettleriver and mellowkelp told him that his mate was the killer. Larklion went to confronté his mate, getting into a fight that ended in his mate's death.

So... I guess Lightyarrow was evil? Hm. Nice story.

Yay! Larklion has been reviewed (probably not super well). Here is your final reveiw:

Larklion's description: Great. Detail is always great, and you can always have more. Your description of his appearance was very nice and helpful, and the personality was pretty decent.

Other cats: they don't really matter but, I'd say they're pretty decent too. Does Larklion have a thing for crazy killer cats?

8/10 great Oc, could always be better.