Bentley: I guess I'm just too tough to cry.
Kalvin: Just today, you were crying about snakes.
Bentley: *starts to cry again* They don't have any arms!

***

Lafayette: Angie?
Angelica: Yeah Laf?
Lafayette:...I miss France...
Angelica: I don't.

***

911 Operator: You have contacted 911. How may we help you?
December: Um, hello?
Operator: What have you done now December?
December, to Michael: You call next time. They're starting to recognize my voice.

***

Eclipsa: It's dark in here, we need some light.
Xavier: I got this! Lemme just-
Eclipsa: If you're going to stomp your light up sneakers, I will murder you.
Xavier: *puts his foot down lightly*

***

Bentley: I like my boys how I like my girls.
Bentley:
Bentley:
Bentley: That's it.
Bentley: That's the joke.
Bentley: I'm bisexual.

***

Dawson: Michael and I are dating.
December, Zaida, Michael: *gasp*
Dawson: Michael, why are /you/ surprised?

***

August Tierce: This is my ex girlfriend.
Nora: You gotta stop introducing me like that.
Nora: I'm his wife.

***

Eliza: I relish being your wife.
Alex: Well, I salsa being your husband.

***

Angelica: How many popsicles have you eaten?
Tommy, laying in a bed full of popsicle wrappers: Now is not the time to talk about my personal flaws as a human.

***

Presley: You know honey, I'm glad we're keeping the anniversary simple this year.
Khalin: Hahaha, me too. *frantically shoos marching band away*

***

Eclipsa: X, did you do something stupid?
Xavier: I think we both know the answer to that.

***

August: Have you been yelled at by December yet?
Michael: Pffft, I'm not scared of her.
August: So that's a no.

***

Schuyler: Teddy, that was a stop sign!
Theodosia: I'll stop twice on the way back.

***

Angel: Michael, what did you have for breakfast?
Michael: Smartie cereal.
Angel: I didn't even though that smarties made cereal.
Michael: They don't. It's just smarties in a bowl with milk.

***

December: You know I hate it when you make up words, Candy.
Candy: Are you still mad at me for saying 'snacksident'?
December: Yes, very.

***

Dante: Hey Gabe what's your number?
Gabe, visibly texting: I don't have a phone.

***

Cole, at some point in the future: I have three brothers. We steal each other's stuff, hack each other's Twitter accounts, set each other's clothes on fire. There are no rules.

***

Nico: Tommy!
Tommy: Oh no, Tommy in B flat. You're disappointed.

***

Bentley: Why don't you come over and I'll cook dinner?
Kalvin: What are you cooking?
Bentley: Chicken nuggets.
Kalvin: I didn't realize you were a trained chef.

***

Dawson: Hi
Michael: *touches Dawson's face* Dawson. Dawse. God. I didn't know angels could fly so low. Here, have my left kidney. No. Wait. Both of them. You deserve it all Dawson.

***

Kalvin: *yawns*
Bentley: Kalvin is TIRED we are DONE for the day everyone pack up your things and go home BELLA take Kalvin to his place MAKE SURE he goes to bed Bella ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?? Everyone stop YELLING no wonder Kalvin is tired you people are EXHAUSTING

***

Theo: Frankie wake up!
Frankie: I'm not sleeping, I'm dead. Leave flowers and go.

***