Bentley: Would you rather eat a bag of dust or a matter baby?
Kalvin: What's a matter baby?
Bentley: Nothing babe, what's the matter with you?

***

Bentley: Quick, take me hand!
Kalvin: *takes his hand* Now what?
Bentley: Nothing. I just wanted to hold hands.

***

Kalvin: Hi there, I'm Kalvin.
Bentley: Oh shoot now I'm gay.

***

Kalvin: For once, maybe someone will call you 'sir' without adding 'you're making a scene'.
Bentley:

***

Kalvin: *answers his phone* Hello?
Bentley: It's Bentley.
Kalvin: What did he do this time?
Bentley: No, it's me, Bentley, it's actually me.
Kalvin: What did you do this time?

***

Bentley: That's my biggest fear.
Kalvin: What is?
Bentley: If I ever like, woke up as a chicken nugget-
Kalvin: You would eat yourself.
Bentley: I wouldn't even question it.

***

Bentley: Do you think horses ever get songs stuck in their head?
Kalvin: Oh my god, I don't know Ben. Go to sleep.

***

Bentley: Woah! We made it?
Kalvin: I carried you while you took a nap.

***

Bella: That Kalvin sure is a cutie isn't he?
Bentley: I'd kill to have those lips. I mean, on me. I want his lips on my mouth.

***

Kalvin, about Bentley: He's so strong but so gentle. He's like an enormous, muscular Ellen DeGeneres.

***

Bentley, practicing his cooking: Hey Kal look, I'm melting butter.
Kalvin: That's great Ben. You have the cooking skills of a hot day.

***

*At the carnival*
Kalvin: I'm gonna win you a million teddy bears.
Bentley: But I want a billion teddy bears.
Kalvin: Well that's a little unrealistic.

***

Kalvin: *sees Bentley arguing with someone*
Kalvin: What an idiot.
Kalvin:
Kalvin: Wait a second that's my idiot!

***

Bentley, about Kalvin: He's got beautiful eyes and the butt of an angel.

***

Kalvin: Well, the thermostat's set at 90.
Bentley: Whoa, 90 degrees?
Kalvin: No, 90 pickles. Yes 90 degrees!
Bentley:....no need to be hurtful.

***

Bentley: Check it out. I found that canned ham we'd had forever, and put it in a pot of boiling water, and guess what I'm calling it?
Kalvin: Soup?
Bentley: Hot ham water.
Kalvin: *tastes it* It's so watery. And yet there's a smack of ham to it.

***

Bentley: You might find this hard to believe, but I can be a little childish sometimes, myself.
Kalvin: Yes. You have gum in your hair right now.
Bentley: Noted.

***

Kalvin: Weren't you frightened?
Bentley: Frightened? Kal, you're talking to the guy who's laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at a catastrophe. I was petrified.