Eliza: Ooh, Wolverine! How scary!
Theodosia: I'm Edward Scissorhands.
Eliza: I don't feel comfortable with you going trick or treating with scissors. Why don't you go as Edward Spoonhands?
Theodosia: Mom, it's Halloween, not Hallowuss.

***

Bentley: I love you.
Kalvin: I love you too.
Bentley: I love you more.
Kalvin: I love you more than you love me.
Bella: I'd love it if y'all didn't do this in the group chat.

***

Tommy: Big mood.
Xavier: What does that mean, big mood?
Tommy: Uh, hey Dad, uhh well, it kinda means like, me too, I guess.
Xavier: Thanks bud
*1 week later*
Wylie: I'm really worried about Mom.
Xavier: Big mood, Wylie, big mood.
Wylie: Tommy what did you do

***

December: I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom, right Michael?
Michael: Please stop talking.

***

Khalin: Wanna know how punk I am?
Khalin: *punches wall*
Khalin: Take me to a doctor.

***

Xavier: *ordering the quads's birthday cake over the phone*
Shop owner: And what would you like the cake to say?
Xavier, covering the phone and looking at everyone: Do we want a talking cake?

***

Michael: I wasn't sure what kind of chocolate you liked so I got all of them.
Dawson: Michael, there are like 300 boxes here...
Michael: I panicked okay? Valentines Day can be very stressful!

***

Kalvin: *sneezes*
Bentley: Bless you
Kalvin: I'm already blessed spending every day with you.
Bentley: Kal...
Kalvin: Ben...
Bella: Bella.

***

Michael: Cember, I made you a friendship bracelet!
December: I'm not really a jewelry person.
Michael: You don't have to wear it.
December: No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off.

***

Zaida: You're smiling, did something good happen?
Michael: Can't I just smile because I feel like it?
December: Angel tripped and fell in the parking lot.

***

Lafayette: Must you attack me with words?
Angelica: You want me to use rocks?

***

[Group chat]

Oakley, referring to Eve: You all have a new niece. Born at 9:30 at 7 lbs, 10 oz. baby is doing great. To be named tomorrow.
Tommy: Tomorrow is a really stupid name for a baby.

***

Khalin: Babe it's really muggy out today!
Presley: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the front lawn, I'm leaving.
Khalin: *sips coffee from a bowl*

***

Eliza: Gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed.
Alex: No.
Eliza: This was your gentle reminder yet your words of defiance fill me with ungodly rage.

***