[A/N] More Keiji angst? Hell yeah.

Bad Things I've Done This Year:

1) A girl gave me chocolate on Valentine's Day. She creeped me out so badly. Nobody should be attracted to me. Even if my physical appearance is decent, my personality was purposefully manufactured to be utterly repulsive. I HATE that she liked me. So, when White Day rolled around, instead of giving her a legitimate present in return, I gave her a can of dog food. In front of everyone. Don't know whether she was humiliated or if it just made her even more interested.

2) A guy accidentally spilled some water on my lap. I promptly stood up and dumped the rest of my apple juice on his head. I also had water I could've used, but I specifically used the apple juice because it would be stickier and stain his shirt. I know he didn't do it on purpose, and it wasn't even that inconvenient for me. It all just happened in the blink of an eye. In the moment, I was even proud of my reflexes. He cussed me out for like five minutes and we both wound up in detention. I've never cared about getting detention, since I can get my homework done in there regardless. I wish I could say it wasn't even the slightest bit fun taking him down with me.

3) I noticed someone trying to cheat off my test. I wrote down all the wrong answers, waited for them to get up and turn in the test, and proceeded to redo the whole thing correctly. Once I turned in my copy, I stared at him for a handful of minutes. His face was white as a sheet and he looked terrified as he processed how badly I screwed him over. Granted, I wouldn't even want anyone cheating on me now, anyway. But all I had to do was tell the teacher or even just cover my answer sheet with my arm. At the time, I thought of cheaters as worthless piggybackers. Literal parasites.

4) I don't even remember what this particular girl had done to deserve this one, but I remember thinking she was incredibly dull-witted. Wait, oh yeah, she kept pronouncing cuisine wrong even after someone corrected her, and I found that extremely bothersome. It wasn't even my damn business, but I get really anal about mispronunciations. I got to school super early in order to slip a glitter bomb card into her locker. It got all over her and she couldn't get all of it off. There was glitter in her hair and on her uniform for that whole day. Nobody was there to see me. She tried to smile through it but was obviously upset. That one was way more fun than it should've been, and that makes me feel ashamed.

5) At some point, this one gamer guy worked up the courage to tell me how much of a complete and utter asshat I am. It took balls and honestly, good for him. But next time he was playing games and he wasn't supposed to, I took the brief period of time he'd left his game unattended to delete his 100% completed file. Everyone told him it was me, but he couldn't rat me out because he wasn't supposed to be playing in the first place. He was a rule stickler outside of electronics, so he really didn't want to get caught.

6) I was pissed off at this one guy because his narrative for Japanese class was better than mine and got a better score, so I stole one of his assignments for math class and flushed it down a toilet. God. I was so mad and jealous. It just reminded me of that time I failed a paper and cooped up in my room for a week straight out of shame. I hated myself. I felt so replaceable. Ah, shit. I shouldn't be making excuses.

7) I hate this one. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate that I did this. One time, a girl who I knew struggled a lot was crying in the library while I was in there trying to study the properties of human language or something like that. I told her that nobody cared about her mommy issues and that, if she was looking for a private place, she did a shitty job. I knew this one was god-awful even as I was doing it, but I couldn't quite force myself to apologize. It was one of those visceral moments that made my blood feel like ice. I wish I could see her again and tell her sorry now, but she had to move midway through the year.

8-???) Probably countless more I'm failing to remember.

Good Things I've Done This Year:

I told Joanie the truth about myself and asked her to help me stop being like this. It was the scariest thing I've ever done.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't want to be this person anymore. Please help me.