An Honest Conversation


[A/N] In honor of Monterio's birthday being yesterday.


"Yoooo, Monterio? Someone told me they saw you here. Why the fuck are you hiding?" Kana peers her head into the empty classroom. Her tone is not confrontational, just curious, but even so, the greeting she receives sends her off-kilter before she can suppress her reaction. Almost instantly, her confident expression falls.

A deep, withering scowl.

"U-Uh... are you angry?"

A sharp nod and he turns his head away slightly.

"Are you angry at me? Did I do something wrong? C'mon, dude, please don't quit on me, I was really looking forward to our next competition."

The tension in his body language drains out of him and the fury in his face melts into something akin to hopelessness. He gives a soft shake of his head, indicating that no, this one isn't her fault. She approaches slowly, in an unspoken question. He hesitates before nodding, and so she sits down on the floor next to him.

"Um. You don't need to talk about it if you don't want. It's not like either of us have gotten really personal with each other before. But uh, on the off chance you need anything, I can try." She's unused to offering such things in sincerity. Typically, if she wants to listen in on someone's problems, it's to exploit it later, but that is surprisingly not her objective this time.

He takes a deep breath and then makes a false start. Frustrated, he shakes his head emphatically, though not in response to her question, rather in response to his own lack of ability to speak. He tries once again, and his voice is mumbly. "Can I ask you for something?"

"What do you want?" she asks warily.

"A completely, 100% honest conversation. Don't lie or obfuscate any of your real thoughts."

"What does that even mean?"

"The word? To obfuscate means to make something unclear."

"Oh, got it. Mm, I mean..." she takes a second to think about it, and then shrugs, feeling surprisingly nonchalant about it. "It's not like you of all people are gonna go blabbing about my personal business, so why the hell not?" As if to emphasize her point, she offers her pinky to him. This finally elicits a humorous smirk out of him as he shifts to link his own with hers. "So what's this all about?"

"Do not tell people about this, Kana, I swear to God."

"Yeesh, I got it. I told you before, your reputation is bad enough that I have no reason to spread any gossip about you. Besides, I, um. I don't know exactly when or how this happened, but I kinda started to actually care about you at some point."

He's stunned to silence for a moment, but then clears his throat and continues. "Yeah, um, same. I don't mean to be short with you, so I'm sorry. Just angry at my situation. I know it's weird to get mad about it all of a sudden, but I just can't take it anymore!"

"What exactly is bugging you?"

"Haven't you noticed? Unless I'm specifically hanging out with you— at which point they start trying to hide the fact that they're staring— people actively look away from me. Being ignored is better than being deliberately excluded. Nobody looks at me, nobody smiles at me, you're pretty much the only student here who's actually had a conversation with me unless class forces them to, and I just— I just want people to admit that I'm there and I'm real and I'm not literal pond scum!" Somewhere along the line, he starts yelling a little. It's the first time she's heard him raise his voice.

"Y'know, somehow you're less scary this way than when you're all snarky and quick-witted." He gives her a half-chuckle.

"Tell that to the guy I beat up."

Her jaw drops, and he scoots away as though in a panic even though his face is unrepentant. "I-I thought you said the rumors were fake!"

"They are. Everything except the fact that I beat up that bitch's shitty cousin."

"I— What did he do to get you that angry?!"

"Mocked my little brother behind my back. Or so he thought."

"The deaf one?!"

"Well, I don't have any other brothers, so yes, the deaf one."

"Hey, don't get sarcastic with me now! The fucking audacity of that guy! So, what, those rumors were just some asshole's revenge plot?!"

"That's the assumption."

"Oh my GOOOOOD, how the hell have you never said anything about it before now?! To anyone?!" To her surprise, he shrinks at her question, huddling in on himself. Even when trying to make himself as small as he can, his presence is the most noticeable thing in her world. Something meek overcomes him, something she'd so many times wished she could ignore in others. "Nobody... nobody would believe you. Right."

"You mentioned that I was scary... was I actually?"

"Uh, dude, the first time I heard you talk— after months of being passively aware of your existence— you verbally disarmed me within a minute and made me apologize out of panic. You were terrifying."

"Seriously?! I was terrified of YOU!"

"You sure as fuck didn't act like it!"

"Well, yeah, I thought that if I didn't show a bit of backbone, you'd literally destroy me! You called me a callus and then said something about me not having friends to know whether or not I made people— um, what was the word you used?— sturdier. That felt like a very deliberate backhanded compliment mixed with a jab at my social life."

"Mm... that was actually my pathetic attempt at being nice without being soft."

"Thank God you're better at being nice now," he teases lightly. They sit in silence for a while. "It's... my birthday, today. That's why my feelings became too much. Nobody knows it's my birthday, and even if they did, nobody but my family would ever celebrate it with me. Just made me realize even more how alone I feel."

Kana mentally flies through her schedule. There's supposed to be a big party at 8, but maybe it would be okay to ditch? "Ha! The fact you think you're still gonna be alone after telling ME? It's like we said, we're stuck with each other, and I'm now officially stating that you're stuck with me OUTSIDE of dance class, too! We're gonna do all sorts of fun shit and I'm gonna pay for everything and there's nothing you can do about it." THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. She hadn't intended to suddenly blurt out an offer so big, but she sure as hell isn't about to take it back now.

He shakes his head vehemently with an expression of horror. "You don't need to waste your time and money! That wasn't the point of me telling you, I swear!"

"Pfft, being real with you, my life isn't as fun as you'd expect. Besides, I told you earlier, I care about you now. It's not a waste." Something intriguing fills his eyes, a light and a hope that hadn't been there earlier. "What are you thinking about?"

"It worked," he whispers with delight.

"What worked?"

"Ballroom. I chose ballroom because... someone would have to look at me. Someone would have to touch me and talk to me. And now... I have a friend. I wouldn't have expected it to be one of the school's bullies, though."

"I'm still... working on changing that," she murmurs, hoping he won't hear it.

But of course he does. "You're...?"

"Well, duh. It's not like I exactly want to be this way. But that's a whole 'nother 100% honest conversation, for later. Just... I'm trying, okay?"

"Thank you."

This leaves her sputtering. "Uh— HUH?! What are you thanking me for?! It's not like I ever picked on you personally!" Instead of answering her, he points to a clock on the wall. "Damn, yeah, we need to get going or we'll be late for dance. Whatever, as soon as it's over, we're gonna celebrate." He rises to his feet and takes her hand to help her up.

Whether on purpose or by accident, they don't let go for quite a long time.

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top