the ballad of diana ives

[Bee]
Woah-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh!
Down on your knees before the Queen
Woah-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh!
Down on your knees before the Queen

[Bee]
Diana Ives was a popular bitch. (Mm-hmm.)
Hot bod, hot boy, cheer captain, plus she was rich. (Oh, yeah.)
That girl had everything till hiccup and hitch:
Alice Meadows lost a leg in a wreck. (Am—pu—ta—ted!)

[Bee]
The nominations for Prom royalty came (Uh-huh.)
Our Di's senior year, and Queen was her claim— (Uh, duh.)
Till gossip stirred the student body would name
Alice Meadows, Queen of the Prom.
(Pi—ty—vote!)

[Bee/Daphne]
"Diana," her mother said, "Life is a Prom
I know you won't disappoint me and Dad...?"

[Bee and Char]
You taste the silver, Diana! You taste the crown
You thirst for blood from the roses in hand
Whoa, you spoil for sash and scepter, music to dance
As they crown you Queen of High School Land

[Char]
(Check Diana, choose Diana, vote for Diana Ives.)

[Bee and Char]
(Check Diana, choose Diana, vote for Diana Ives.)

[Bee]
So obsessed, our Diana near lost her mind
To life un-Prom-related, Diana was blind;
She shoved her squad, her clique, her boyfriend behind—
Still Alice had a hold on the lead. (Poor, poor, Alice...)

[Bee]
Soon Diana's sanity was hung by a thread
Her B.F.F.'s proclaimed her socially dead
'Til then, at last, her boyfriend texted and said:

[Bee/Micha]
"I'm taking Alice to the senior Prom."

[Char]
(Love, love, Alice...)

"Diana," her mother said, "Why be so calm?
There's just no future for a Princess at Prom..."

[Bee and Char]
You taste the silver, Diana! You taste the crown
You thirst for blood from the roses in hand
Whoa, you spoil for sash and scepter, music to dance
As they crown you Queen of High School Land

Woah-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh!
Down on your knees before the Queen!
Woah-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh!
Down on your knees before the Queen!

[Bridge]
Some girls are rational but Diana was not

She stared in mirrors thinking one single thought:

There's seven reasons this crown's not good as got—

And so the night of Prom, mercy! Thus went her plot:    

[Char]
Alice, Olympia, Eunice Delphine, Roxanne, Mona, Penelope, Chloe

[Bee]
(Thus went her plot!)

[Bee]
"P" is for Penelope drinking poisoned punch
"R" is for Roxanne dashed on a rock-- crunch!
"O" is what Olympia said when Diana bludgeoned her brains
And "M" is Mona's marinated remains
But! But!
"Q" is for Chloe, quiet, drowned in the pool
And "U" is for Eunice Delphine's pieces spread round the school
But "E's" are for the easy way in five minutes tops
A one-legg'd girl can bring an "N" for end by calling the cops.

[Char]
What a bitch.

[Bee and Char]
You got your silver Diana, you got your crown
You got their blood on your roses in hand
Whoa, you donned the sash and scepter, doing a dance
As you crowned you Queen of High School Land!
Woah-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh!

Down on your knees before the Queen

Woah-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh!

Down on your knees before—

They wrapped your wrists in silver, they took your crown

As they washed your bloody fingers and hands

Into a tight straitjacket, small padded cell

Screaming, "I'm the Queen of High School Land!"

Woah-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh!

Down on your knees before the Queen

[Char]

(Woah...)

(The ballad of Diana Ives.)   

[Bee]
God save the Queen...