clover, high: don't be a bitch, do you know the types of crimes people commit when they're this high?
samantha: do you know the types of crimes i commit when i'm sober?

diana, to cecilia and elliot: so why were you two kicked out of the movies?
cecilia: we were yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic

clover: just because i'm non-binary doesn't mean i'm gender neutral. i'm actually gender evil.

auri: do you believe in conspiracy theories?
liana: no
auri: would you like to start one?
liana: absolutely

jordan, to some guy at school: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT
val: real mature, jojo. at least sound a bit more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
jordan: oh, i'm sorry. i should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch
val: somehow that's worse

aurora: it'll be easy peasy lemon squeezy
clover: no it'll be difficult difficult lemon difficult
josephine: bro that's not the opposite of easy peasy lemon squeezy. it's obviously difficult difficult lemon difficult
ivy: no it's difficult difficult orange squifficult
everyone else: wtf
kate: orange? where'd orange come from?
ivy: well limes are too similar. they make lemon-lime things
aurora: no it'd be difficult pifficult eggplant squifficult
kate: why eggplant?
aurora: because purple is opposite yellow on the color wheel
ivy: no it can't be produce. it's gotta be something totally unrelated
kate: like what?
josephine: ham!
samantha: why am i friends with you people?

eden, being interviewed: i was trying to sell shit to this girl, and you don't need to know what it was, but she was trying to negotiate the price and was going way too low. my sister's good with numbers, and she's smart, so i thought i'd get her to help me, since she's the more rational one. i forgot to factor in that the girl is pretty and avery's very gay. goddamn lesbians.