ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ꜱʜᴏᴏᴛɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴀʀ

https://youtu.be/ssVf326Ox9g

 ─⚪───────────────────────────────── ◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀ ⠀ 0:01 / 2:45 ⠀ ───○ 🔊⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙ ❐ ⊏⊐

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

cool moonlight filtered through the curtains of celine's bedroom, bathing the room in an ethereal glow that even the immovable noblewoman had come to appreciate. the sheer silks danced to a tune soft, bid by the soft breezes that passed through her open windows. a single candle cast a feeble glow against the stone of her walls, melting into the golden stand where it was stood. silence hung thick within the air, a physical substance that celine might've fought against if she'd the strength to. but within the confines of her rooms, where time was only kept through the burn of her candle, celine could finally relax.

seated on the plush fabrics of her mattress, celine ran a plain comb through her tresses, a task made more to busy her hands than anything. her blank gaze cast across the expanse of her surroundings, swimming around but never quite landing on any such object around her. breaths routinely pushed and pulled from her lungs, her lifeless heart thudded within her chest. this was a sensation not unknown to the woman, and altogether almost welcome compared to thinking. within the confines of herself, celine hadn't the need to be anything. she was just...being. here there was no kalum, ozilian, or illador. none of the chaos could reach her if she floated above it all. it should've worried her, to feel so detached from herself, but it was really one of the only creature comforts she could afford.

a knock, however, jostled celine from her thoughtless endeavors. she came back to her senses with a sigh, setting down her comb on her nightstand and slipping her feet into her bedside shoes. she took a moment to look upon her visage in a mirror stationed against a wall, to bite at her lips and pinch at her cheeks to bring life to her dulled skin. she was to be presentable in any manner, after all, never mind the shadows that clung unseen beneath her dark eyes. schooling her features into that of warm query, celine all but floated towards her door, footsteps hardly making a sound. opening the wooden structure brought a young maid into sight, who nervously clung to the tray within her grasp. the girl edged the tray towards celine without a word, to which celine rose a brow but didn't push further. must've been the poor thing's first day on, and during such a tumultuous selection as this. she wouldn't fault her for being anxious; within girls such as this celine could almost see what she might've been if life had sung her a different song.

"thank you, love. you are dismissed," celine hummed, a rich melody to set the girl's fears at ease a bit. an almost...uncharacteristic softness tugged at the edges of her gaze as she watched the girl flee, but it was gone with the next shift of the breeze. closing her door softly behind her, celine read over the letter in her grasp, the words there causing the parchment to flutter to the ground. a letter to a loved one, was it? had she ever even felt such an emotion? a bitter sort of laughter shook her frame silently as she plucked the fallen paper from the ground, her legs carrying her dutifully toward her candlelit desk. 

placing her quill between her fingers, celine blankly set the nib against the blank parchment before her, the black ink pooling there akin to the dark emotions seeping into her skin. it wasn't as if she was unfamiliar to the notion of letter writing, but something about the phrasing of the task set before her...it made her uncomfortable. she did not like that which she did not know, and love was one such fancy.

smudging at the ink with her thumb, celine watched sullenly as the liquid stained her skin, running down the expanse of her palm as she lifted her arm to gaze upon it all the more. then the soiled paper was crumbled in that same stained grip, smearing more ink into the skin there. and then she lifted her quill and repeated the process. and she did so for a rather long while, long enough that her candle had almost burnt itself wick-less. ink now touched both of her hands, streaked at her brow where she'd clutched it in frustration, spotted the lap of her pearl-colored night robes. draft after draft littered an otherwise spotless floor. and still, celine had nothing to show for her efforts. it was so...frustrating. so much so that she could've screamed. but no...no, celine was better than that. 

once more, celine set her nib to the parchment, but this time an air of finality hung tense around her. this would be her last try, no matter what. not an ounce of warmth would be poured into this letter; no, that had been reserved for the piles of papers behind her, cast aside in efforts to keep her image from appearing frail or weak. the ones she wrote to did not deserve any small amount of effort from her. god, she could've hit herself for being daft enough to even dwell on such wishful thinking. gritting her teeth and wiping away what must've been a stray drop of ink from beneath her eye, celine wrote.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

to the dubois family,

or anyone who cares to open this letter, truly. i know that you care not for me or my well-being, but as i've been tasked with writing to a "loved one" i found it only fitting that i write to my dearest family. appearances and all that. it wouldn't do for a lady of house dubois to refuse a task, would it? i won't go into much detail as to how my stay here in rucia has been, as i'm sure this letter will be cast aside and as such would be a waste of ink. however, if by chance you do open this letter, which i know you will not, just know that for as much as you've ever felt for me, i have felt that much less. you all are a cruel lot, and i would give anything to cast my luck elsewhere.

celine

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

dropping the quill from her hand as if scalded, celine rose quickly from her seat, world turning as blood rushed to her head. feeling faint, celine stumbled over to her mattress, catching herself against the edge and throwing herself atop it. blackened palms clutched at the satin of her sheets, and her shoulders shook from the winds she'd been admiring mere hours ago. sinking her face into her pillows, celine squeezed her eyes tightly shut and willed the world away, and ignored the sensation of warmth that trekked down her cheeks. 

she was above such emotion, after all.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘