SURPRISE BITCHES
HERE'S TO THE MOST UNEDITED AND IMPORTANT CHAPTER IN THE ENTIRE BOOK!

Sometime around 1 in the morning, Luchesi and I had fallen asleep. I remember him giving me some clothes to change into and crying in his arms. We had fallen asleep, but it wasn't for a while until I had woken up with an extreme pounding in my head and a sharp pain in my chest. I peered over at the clock where the tiny red numbers projected 4:53 A.M.

I got up and walked out of the room towards the bathroom. I splashed my face with some water before grabbing a towel and patting my face dry. From the corner of the mirror, I saw my black purse thrown in the corner of the bathroom with the lingerie half stuffed inside, half falling out. I walked over and grabbed the end of the bag making my wallet, and the thigh highs of the lingerie set fall out. When I shoved it back in the bag, the white pieces of paper remained on the ground.

I took a sharp breath and set my bag down before picking the paper stack up and holding it between my fingers. It was folded into a small little rectangle and had to be at least 5 pages of paper. I stood up with the pieces of paper and walked back into the bedroom to see Luchesi was still sleeping but turned over onto his stomach. I took a shaky breath before walking over to balcony door and pulling it open, making sure to unlock it before closing the door behind me.

I walked over the edge before leaning my elbows on the bar.

It can't hurt to read it, worst comes to worst,  I can throw it out.

I took a deep breath before unfolding the paper, seeing the tiny scribbled writing along the page.

Dear Arabella,

I can wholeheartedly assure you that out of all of the things I have done in my life, this will be one to cross off the list. You may never read this, you may burn this, you may even throw this back in my face, but as long as it's here on paper, that's all I'll ever need to know.

I'm not good with words, you know this, I know this. I'm better at expressing myself through art, but my story is too complicated for a series of paintings. I don't expect you to understand what I'm about to tell you, hell, I don't even understand what I'm about to tell you. But as long as it's out there and off my chest, I guess that will be good enough for me.

I didn't know that I was going to grow up to be a gang leader. I didn't even know I was going to make it to age 10. I remember my brother telling me when I was older that the day I was born, my father held me in the hospital, drunk. We never knew my father's name, everyone called him something different. Like I said, he was wiped out of the system so many times, I don't even think he knew his real name. On my first birthday, he told my mother that if she dare bought me one gift, that he would slit my throat with a knife. I remember by the age of five, I was a pro at hiding myself from him. He would come home from work some days and go straight to the room, without a hello. Those days he would call my mother in and brutally take advantage of her, even when she pleaded him not to. I never knew what they were doing, Luchesi at the age of 10 knew and tried his best to get me to not listen, but I did. Other times, he would storm in the door, and grab either me or Luchesi whoever was the closest and take our heads to the wall. Punches, kicks, bites, anything he could to weaken us. My mother would sit and watch, waiting for it to be over so she could help. I remember one day, he came home from work, wreaking of alcohol, I was 7 and I knew the smell. He had a mask in his hand and a bottle of chemicals. I didn't know at the time, but he threatened us that if we said something about what he did to us, to the men that were about the walk in the door, that he would put the mask on us and lock us in the bedroom. Child services came that day, I sat on my father's lap for the first time in my whole life, other then when he gave me a brutal spanking, and said to the men how much I loved my dad. That night, Luchesi woke up with night mares, and I didn't sleep once. Luchesi stuck up for me as best as he could, but my father was beginning to see through the lie. By the time I was 15, it was every man for himself, Luchesi was first born and right behind my father. Don't get me wrong, he was still beaten, but not as much as me, and definitely not as much as mum.  My father manipulated him into beating me, day after day after day. At the time, I thought Luchesi had just realized how much of a worthless fool I was, but in reality, he was saving me. When I was 18, I left. I got a backpack of a few clothes and drugs and a gun. My father knew I would try to leave at some point, and when I did, he did everything in his power to try to stop me. His goal was to kill me, which leads to my first confession. My scar is not from James Casper, it's from my father. As I was leaving the house, my father stabbed me. Not your father, mine. I had to walk away from that house with a two foot slice down my body. There was a girl I used to fool around with close in the neighborhood, her father sewed me up and I left. The reason I said your father gave me that scar was because I wanted you to not think about your family in a good light, because there is a lot of corruption in that family of yours. Maybe not necessarily your father, but in other aspects. I wanted you to feel pity for me.

After I left my house, I found my way down to Hastings, an area in Southern England. I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. I wanted to go to Portugal but I had no money. I was drinking heavily and already had at least three charges of theft in the last two cities I traveled through. I was at a bar when a man began talking to me. He gave me a place to stay for a few nights and even a few hundred dollars. It was your father. He danced around the fact that he was in a gang, mind you this was 6 years ago, the gangs were still fairly new to the world. I didn't put the connection together until I heard him on the phone ordering someone to be killed. At this point, I had only known him for three months while he had told me was on a long business trip. It scared me and I wanted to run but it wasn't until he explained to me who he was and what he did that I decided to stay. I was 18, had no support system or plan for the future. He asked me if I wanted to come back to American with him, and of course I said yes. But now, I knew too much and couldn't just be set free. I stayed with another member of Ferocious. I was taught how to defend myself and in a year I had gained 7o pounds of muscle. You're father checked up on me, and brought me to a lot of his meetings around the world. I'm not going to lie, I thought he was secretly gay at first and wanted a side boy for when he was traveling. But by the time I was 20, I was more like a son to him then Seth and Elliot were. I was helping him on missions and helped him write a few battle plans to over throw the government. That's when the jealousy started. You're brothers wanted the gang once your father retired, but because of me and your father's connections, it was set for me to take the gang when he turned 40. You're brothers were pissed to the point where, they were threatening to kill me. You're father ordered me to go to England for a while, so your brothers could cool off. At the time, Savage's only leaders were Zayn, Louis, Liam, and Niall. Ferocious had been the primarily dominant gang in the world. When I was in England, I had received a call from Seth saying your father had been killed by his own men. I don't remember much of that night, I remember boarding a plane and going back to America. You're brothers lead me to believe that Ferocious had turned against him at the club. Out of anger, I planted a bomb in the club on the second floor and ran as fast as I could. The ringing in my ears has never stopped. The next day, I picked up a newspaper, announcing the death of your father. I went to the wake and funeral, drunk, and said good-bye to the only father like figure I've ever had in my life. The next day, I paid my respects to your mother. You were at school she said, that's when I set up the cameras. I didn't know your house, I didn't know what rooms the cameras were going in, I swear on everything. I set them up so I could check up on you guys and make sure you were doing okay. When I got back to England, I was getting ready to pack up my stuff and move to American to take over Ferocious in your father's spot. The T.V. had been blaring but the news had interrupted whatever I was watching. They had found the man that killed your father. I remember waiting to see the worthless fücks face, and memorize it so that I knew exactly who to kill first. But then, the unthinkable happened. It was me. My face had flashed across the screen in a blurry security camera video tape. Then, the women began speaking. Your brothers had made up the lie that I was a double agent in Savage and was angry that they were getting to take over the gang. Your father wasn't dead when they called me, he was at the club that I bombed. I killed him, I killed the only chance of a father figure. The next day, Savage had barged into my house with an offering. After telling them the entire story, they convinced me to join. A week later, I was their gang leader.

That's when the depression started. I began a cycle; drink, smoke, fück, fight, repeat, drink, smoke, fück, fight, repeat day after day after day. Then the 'obsession' began. I say this in quotations because to this day, I still believe that I was not obsessed with you. I was twenty-two when I set the screens up. Before you think that the entire small room at the end of the hallway was dedicated to watching videos of you, it was not. That had footage of all the video cameras we planted in the world. Each gang and every continent had some type of video camera and all I had to do was click which one I wanted to view. Yours was first because it was the first I had set up. I remember watching a clip of the kitchen to try to hear if your brothers were plotting anything, then you came down the stairs. I had never seen you before, maybe at the funeral, but you were only thirteen then. You had on a very tiny and see through night dress. Please keep in mind that I was still young, and horny like a teenage boy. That's not an excuse, but I just wanted you to know that. After that I would check up on you guys, just to see what was going on. You were comical to watch. You did very funny things. Although, you were very very cautious when it came to things. I had watched you for two years and had never seen you completely naked. Maybe a few incidents of you dancing in your bra and panties, but never ever completely naked. That's another thing I wanted to talk about, I never 'watched' you. I never made it a thing in my everyday routine to watch footage of you. Whenever I did see you it was because I was watching footage of your brothers. When I did see you being a goofball it would bring a small smile to my face but I wasn't some wierdo that would jerk off to you attempting to do cart wheels in your living room. When I did happen to see you stroll by the camera I'll admit, I was beginning to form a little crush to you. I thought you were cute and sassy, you still are. I never wanted to admit it to myself but I was starting to fall in love, and that bothered me. No gang member wants to be tied down and in love. I convinced myself that I would take you only to gain peace with your brothers, but let's face it, I was starting to fall in love and I was looking for an excuse to see you.

At this point, my focus was in my gang. This was now my job, and I took it very seriously. When you first got here, I tried my hardest to push you away and drill it into your head that you are only apart of a plan. I hated the control you had over me. You are 5'2' and 100 something pounds and you have more control over me then anyone has ever had. I have another confession, I didn't kill that girl who I slept with. She left me after I accidentally moaned your name. I wanted you to be scared of me. The day that your brothers called at Niall's, they called to discuss that plan and the deals. My plan from the beginning was to negotiate peace with them and join together. We met up a little while after while you were in Vienna Psychological hospital. The new plan was that I got to keep you as long as I told you about everything and once I did, Ferocious and Savage could begin the process of joining together. Other gangs are starting to see us come together and have been wanting to get in on it. I didn't tell you because, when was I supposed to? Under a candle lit dinner? I was going to make you paintings, but by the time I could get half the story on a canvas, you would have been swooped away. I didn't want to keep this from you, but I had no choice. The night we made love was the first time I had ever had sex like that. It amazed me that something so slow and passionate was so much better then rough and meaningless. Little did I know the next day it would all be thrown back into my face.

Arabella I didn't write you this letter out of guilt. Or because I had too. I wrote this because I love you with everything I have. You were told that I don't love you that I am just obsessed with you. This is not true, not one bit. I will go as far as getting evaluated at the best Mental Facility in the world just to prove to you that my love for you is real. I'm not a prince, I wasn't able to love you like you're supposed to be loved. But if you give me the chance, I will try my best to make you the happiest girl in the entire world. It's not fair for me to keep you locked up like this.

I don't wish for you're pity nor do I condone it, I just want you to understand where I'm coming from. I've never felt love in my life, but when you came into mine, it was like every emotion blurred together and completely blindsided me.

I'm not pushing you away, I'm setting you free, in hopes that one day you will come back to me.

Love Always,
Harry Styles xxx

A/N:
SURPRISE BITCHES IT'S ME!!!!!
hehehehehe that was fun!

So yeah I basically surprised you all and I just waxed my lip so now my mouth is supppperrr soft :)

Oh yeah btw THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT CHAPTER OF THE BOOK haha

So.. Question Time!!
Question #1
How long does it take you to write?
An hour and a half to two hours. This chapter took 3 hours and 45 minutes!

Question #2
Will Arabella and Luchesi ever be a thing?
Maybe a kiss somewhere down the way, but there will never be a "love traingle" or something like that. Their relationship is innocent and out of the protection Luchesi has over Arabella. They do NOT love each other or have any feelings for each other for that matter!

Question#3
Does Arabella's mom know about Harry and Arabella?
No she does not!

Question#4
Why do Seth and Elliot suck so much?
I promise you won't be saying that in about 30 chapters! lol

Question#5
What is Harry's Dads name?
Nobody knows! (*where they might end up, nobody knowwwwwssss*) (if you know that reference ily)

That's it for today! Ask your questions here!

Thanks for the love and support!