The Marvel characters when their kid comes home after a fight with their friends–

"Alright, who's the jerk? I'll send Happy to tell them a few things. And you can always borrow the Mark VI if you want, the one with the nuclear missile."

"Aw, it's okay. Atleast now you know they don't deserve you. You should find like-minded friends"

"Okay, well remember this. If they get you down, make sure to pin a death note to their book and then break their neck the next time they do it."

"Oh... It's been a while since I was a kid, but I guess you could try talking out your differences? I remember that always worked..."

"Right, was it the short one with the black hair or the other one with the ridiculous shoes?"

"I know, I had a vision. Those losers now find themselves on a deserted volcanic site."

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid you'll have to fight your battles yourself... Now, which dagger do you prefer? I'd recommend the short one for quick, but deadly fights."

(I do take requests for situations)