"Okay, yes... got it. Thank you, doctor. I'll be there." I said before putting the phone down in my lap.

Dr. Chang, the doctor who had admitted me in the hospital last night, had just given me an unexpected call telling me that I should go see him.

I was still careful not to let my mind run into panic mode as I could not exactly tell by his voice on the phone whether this was something I should be concerned about or not.

Eventually I decided I wasn't going to think too much about it. After all, it would only peak my anxiety further.

I landed a small knock at the door of Dr. Chang's office and I twisted the door knob once I heard his voice from behind the wooden surface.

"Come in."

"Hello, Dr. Chang." I greeted politely, closing the door behind myself.

"Miss Y/N, have a seat." he said with a tight smile plastered over his face, the kind of distant smile almost all medical professionals wore.

"Thank you." I nodded and installed myself on the arm chair across from his swivel chair.

I looked over at him expectantly, eager to know what kind of news he'd deliver. He cleared his throat and poised himself properly on his chair, before leaning forward and placing his hands on the desk.

Sympathy filled his eyes. For some reason, I did not find this reassuring at all.

"Miss Y/N, I have something very important to tell you regarding your health."

***

I ran out in the street, each step full of urgency. I was completely and utterly rattled after my conversation with Dr. Chang.

It had been brief, but life-altering. I felt just fine leaving his office, but now, my lungs constricted as if held by metal bars. I felt as if I was going to suffocate. I looked around frantically, the whole world swirling together in a blur. Panic seeped at every pore of my trembling body and my muscles knotted up against the quivering of my limbs.

I have to get out of here.

Oh my god, oh my god.

I placed a hand over the cold wall of the hospital building. Sweat started building up between my fingers and I felt as if I was going to die.

That's when I saw him.

Devastated. Apologetic. Remorseful.

Crushed.

I took a sudden intake of breath and stumbled backwards. My eyes filled with tears to the point that everything around me became a fuzzy blur.

"Y/N..." Taehyung whispered ever so quietly, but somehow I still heard him.

How the distance between us was erased I had no idea, but the next second he was standing right in front of me. He raised a hand to touch my hair. I shuddered away.

"Stay away from me."

His whole face creased with guilt and sadness. A few droplets remained in the corners of his eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am," he mumbled quietly. "I shouldn't have left last night, I'm an idiot."

His words became background noise as my sorrow grew more and more profound.

"I'm here now... let me make this right."

"Stay the hell away from me." I hissed, the pain tearing me up inside.

My thoughts were a chaotic mess. I feared my heart was going to combust in my chest.

"No, I can't," he was completely desperate, yet again. "I struggle with a lot of things, you know that, but not being by your side is not something I could live with. I regret all of my past mistakes-"

"Shut up." I spat out. Regret was visible on his face, but I was unforgiving in my despair.

"You're hurt now and I get it. Please, let's just go home and talk. I want to hold you, and kiss you... please, please." He begged softly.

In my sadness, I was hollow. I had no more tears left to cry.

"You think you're struggling, Taehyung?" I poked his chest. "What about me? You think I'm fine? You think I'm doing just great? Do you have any idea what you've done to me?"

"I... I love you!" his emotions burst out through him for the first time as his eyes glistened with a glossy layer. I was unmoved by his confession. "Y/N, I love you!"

"You don't love me and you never will! Everything is ruined already, Taehyung, this relationship is destroyed!"

"I'll do my best to fix it-"

"No!" I shouted, gesturing with my hands heatedly. "No, because some things are unfixable, Taehyung! Some things can never be repaired! Like the sudden miscarriage I had last night!"

"What?" his eyes widened in utter shock.

My insides shrunk as I squeezed my eyes shut, recollecting the painful conversation with Dr. Chang.

"Our tests show you were five weeks pregnant," the doctor explained, reiterating every word very carefully, making sure I was following him.

"Oh." I gulped, feeling light-headed.

"I'm sorry you had to go through something like this," he went on, eyebrows curled in unfeigned concern. "You should know that it isn't exactly uncommon, especially in the first trimester. You're not alone, there are many women like you and this is nothing to be ashamed of. In your case, your body was too weak for the embryo to develop as it should. Miss Y/N, you're heavily underweight and this could affect your future pregnancies. You told me you've been feeling quite stressed out lately."

"I see." I mumbled in a daze.

"You should take care of yourself more. Did you know that you were pregnant?"

"No... No I did not."

"We have a psychologist you can talk with if you want to."

"No, thank you... I'm good."

"Miscarriage? You've had a miscarriage?" Taehyung took a step forward, taking me by the wrists and raising them between our bodies. "You were pregnant?"

"Apparently!" I cried, my throat burning with my uncried tears. "Please, just let me go! Let me go home, Taehyung, please, I want to go!"

"No!" his deep voice boomed. "No, Y/N, we were about to have a baby..." he choked up. I saw the life in his eyes just melt away, like snow under sunrays. He, like me, was crushed.

"Yes, and now we're not," I whimpered, watching the sorrow engraved on his face. I shouldn't picture our unborn baby. I shouldn't. "So, please, please, let me walk away because right now it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest."

"I'm so sorry." He croaked, still holding my wrists in his hand.

"You're sorry?" I raised my brows, pulling away my hands harshly. "Look what you've done to me, Taehyung! I was in a fucking hospital! You were supposed to protect me, you told me you'd take care of me! Why didn't you? Why?" my hands flew to my hair and I spun on my heel, desperate to walk away from this dreadful situation. "I hate you! Leave me alone, I hate you!"

"Please don't leave!" he screamed at my back as he ran to grab me by the hand.

"There's no coming back from this," I sobbed on the verge of hysterics. "We're beyond repair. I don't want you in my life anymore... Don't ever talk to me again."

"No..." he breathed out as my fingers slipped from his hand. His eyes were red and puffy and his shoulders shook with the quiet sobs that left him one after the other.

It felt like a whole galaxy separated us right now. All I wanted in that moment was to go home and weep until I could no longer breathe. I was destroyed. My heart was shattered. I never knew things could get so bad... but this managed to break us finally. Irreversibly.

"Goodbye, Kim Taehyung."

I took one good look at him for the last time before disappearing from his life for what I wished would be forever.

author's note:

my heart is broken 🥺