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follow the original 'Obsessed' playlist on spotify and listen to every song for each chapter or all, in order to get in the mood and into the story;

Name of the list: Obsessed fanfiction [h.s. au]

Username: stephanie.vl

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I'm the first to admit that I'm reckless
I get lost in your beauty and I can't see
Two feet in front of me

And I know in my heart
You're just a moving part ...

                               Fool's Gold - One Direction

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I O N E

I wrap my coat tighter around me, desperately trying to keep my body warm. I don't pay attention to anyone as I walk in the building. I hastily walk in class, not wanting to get in trouble for being late.

The first three periods go by, faster than I expected, and lunch hour comes. I step in the cafeteria and see everyone, gathered around a table, including him. The smell of the lunch being served and the perfume of a random girl that just passed me, is the only thing I can smell.

I walk closer to them. Harry sees me and tenses. He becomes rigid. Nobody knows what happened between us in these early hours of Christmas. I can't keep it a secret for a long time though. They're going to find out, one way or another. Either by Harry, spilling the beans, or from the way we act. There's no way to hide something like that, without anyone knowing.

"Ione! Hey." Louis smiles, happily and pats the seat next to him, for me to sit. I shake my head 'no' and give him a gentle smile. "Oi! Why? Since school started again, I feel like I've barely seen you." His eyes are sad. I feel the sympathy building up in me, but I quickly knock it down. At some point in my life, I have to put myself as a priority. And my priority is to distance myself from everyone. I can't bear, seeing anyone related to him and play it cool. It's impossible to forget what he made me feel that night, and remember what kind of impact he has on me. I try to make these feelings disappear, like every other emotion. Being replaced by numbness.

"I'm quite busy lately. And I wanted to speak to Harry, to be honest." With the sound of his name he immediately  lifts his head and looks me in the eyes. He has an undefined look. I can't pinpoint what he most likely feels. The crystal clear green of his irises is clouded, as if he's having an inner battle with himself. I shake it off and urge my voice to come out as strong as it can be. "Can I please talk to you?" He looks totally confused, from my light and friendly tone. "Privately." I add. He nods in understandment. I look around me and see everyone staring. Rachel seems alarmed. I mouth her that I'll explain later and turn around to exit the building. He follows me out, somewhere, where no one comes and nobody can hear us.

"Ione look--"

"No! Stop. Please, let me speak. Let me for once, say what I feel." He seems shocked, scared even. "I've been fancying you for years on end, I even fell for you after a while. We suddenly started hanging out. Before that happened, I had came to terms that I would never have you, so I just wanted you to be happy, by any means. You were something unapproachable. You are what dreams are made of. Then we started talking and hanging out, and believe me, it became extremely hard for me, not to let these feelings develop." My voice is calm. Too calm, I even scare myself. He looks at me, and I really can't make out his expression. He hides what he's feeling quite well, which is way too difficult for me to understand if I should continue or not.

"So I fell harder. Every day is a struggle. I am torturing myself with thoughts of you and what we could have been." I shake my head sadly. " You were constantly flirting with me and I took it as a sign that you possibly felt something for me, but then I thought again and realised that you really are flirting with everyone. It's in your nature." I chuckle but I don't find anything funny or delightful. I don't know what's happening in me. I might be feeling nothing or everything at once.

"And that night when I called was when I thought I lost you, and I needed you. I needed you to reassure me that everything is okay and that you're still here for me. So I ended up telling everything to you, because I was scared that I might lose you any time. I couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing what I feel, so I risked it." My eyes get teary and his face softens, I don't let it get to me, though.

"You don't know how much I regret it." I wipe the single tear that escaped my eye and look at my feet. "What you did that night, broke me, Harry. You left without saying anything but 'Happy Christmas'. Happy bloody Christmas." My hands shake. I feel the blood boiling in my veins and the urge to slap him is bigger than ever. Slap him and maybe kiss him, because the truth is that I still love him, I doubt that I'll ever stop. "You broke me and I hate you." His eyes widen. He looks sad, but I don't stop. "No! let me rephrase this. I hate that I love you. But sadly I can do nothing about it." The words feel bitter in my mouth. I don't mean what I said. I could never hate him, but I do hate myself for loving him, because if I didn't allow my heart to skip a beat every time he spoke, or looked at me or even walked past me, I would have been in a better position.

My hand goes in my jacket pocket and take out a small, white box. I look at it and my fist is holding on it, tighter and tighter for dear life. "I know your birthday is on Sunday." My voice is flat, no emotion can be heard in it and for once I'm glad for the coldness I possess. "I won't see you then." My hands shake and my heart beats faster. I know that giving him this gift will mean the end of what we had. And no matter what happened and what I said, I'm not ready. "Here" I hand the box to him. His cold hands come in contact with mine as he takes it from me. "It's a ring. I saw it the day that we went to buy Louis a present. It reminded me of your eyes. I had to take it, so I went the next day and bought it. I couldn't possibly keep it. It belongs to you." he opens it and sees the golden ring with the jade gem stone. His eyes go wide. He tries to speak but no words come out of his mouth. He gazes at me and then at the ring, and I pray. I pray to God that the next words I'm about to say won't end this moment and whatever good happened between us. But I can't stop myself.

"Happy Birthday, Harry." I lean in and lightly, very lightly kiss his cheek. "I love you." He stares at me speechless. I take a step back and walk away from everything. From him. And I simply hope that my decision is not destructive.

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I finally updated ahh... I felt better and decided to write a bit, since I didn't go to school which is good because it's very very cold and it's snowing.

don't forget to leave your votes and comments of course. xx.

Steph xx