Trigger Warning: drug use and rehab and stuff, time is gonna skip so read carefully bookie, And sex maybe idk we'll see

NOTE: Based on the songs: Demons by ASAP Rocky and Glitter by 070 Shake. 

I smoked away my brain think I'm going dumb...

"RnB artist and estranged fiancé to rapper Central Cee, Y/N Y/L/N, was caught sticking her head out of a police car window with her middle finger raised after an altercation with cops at a local restaurant in London. Sources claim she had cocaine in her system and a high level of alcohol..."

The news anchor read off the teleprompter in front of her. Y/N could hear the television blaring the latest entertainment news while she waited in her holding cell. The bench was making her ass hurt and the florescent lights gave her a headache. 

Y/N tapped her foot against the tile floor of the holding cell. She stood outside the metal bars with cuffs around her wrists. A female officer dialed a number on the free telephone and placed it upon her ear.

She felt tears well into her dark brown eyes as it went straight to voicemail. Clearing her throat she casted her wishes into the phone, "Hi Oakley. I hope you're doing well. You wouldn't believe where I am actually."

You have sixty seconds left before your time ends...

Y/N scoffed at the automated voice but continued, "I need to cash in a favor."

A few hours later she was being released on bail. Her teeth chattered as she wisked herself to find who came to her rescue. Her heart sunk when she saw her manager instead of Oakley. "What have you done?" 

The woman who she called, Ariel, grabbed her face squeezing her jaw, "Are you back on that stuff?"

Y/N hissed pushing the older woman away from her, "I'm not high!"

Ariel tilted her head giving Y/N a once over. Y/N put her arms up in defense, "I swear you can piss test me."

"The station already did that. Y/N, what did you do?"

Her breath hitched when the door of the dark SUV opened revealing the man who had tried to save her plenty of times. Oakley cleared his throat moving towards Y/N. A hint of pity flickered in his gaze. Y/N wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

With shame her head was down when he spoke, "Y/N."

The click of photo cameras made her jump. Oakley's bodyguards were quick, shieleding both of them from the prying eyes. His warm hands dragged her into the SUV straight to safety. Her manager took a seat in the front trying to give them privacy.

Y/N felt her heart jump when he put a hand on her thigh settling her nerves. Instantly tears came down her face. He wiped them away, "Talk to me."

She sniffled feeling a sting in her nostril; a quick flashback ran through her head. The feeling of the cocaine as she snorted it made her feel alive. It ended when she felt his hands wipe her face again.

"I didn't think you'd come." Her voice felt strained, probably from the yelling when she smacked the police officer when she was high. 

Oakley shook his head, he was disappointed in her, "You said you needed to cash in a favor so I knew it was urgent but I can't do this again." 

Y/N felt her heart crack in two, "I know I know it's just..."

Oakley turned away from her but still kept his hand on her thigh, "If you choose drugs one more time I'm gone for good. I mean it this time, Y/N, no more bullshit."

I'm having stomach pains, now I'm throwing up...

"Y/N Y/L/N was seen outside a police station with long lost lover Central Cee. Is this the start of something new? Or is he just coming to bail out the damsel in distress..." Y/N felt repulsed as she watched her name cross the televisions screen once again.

Her stomach jumped and the chills started again. She ran to the bathroom hoping she would make it in time. Y/N hovered over the toilet vomiting her guts out. Oakley watched her from the doorway with his arms crossed. 

She wiped her mouth on the verge of tears, "I can't take it. I can't. Please."

Oakley bent down to her level. He was serious and she knew manipulation would never work on him. Not this time, "Y/N. It's only been a day." 

He sat in front of her watching her cry in pain. Y/N's kness came to her chest rocking herself back and forth, "Just take me now."

Fuck a metrosexual, suck a dick, I'm disrespectful...

"Fuck you, bitch!"  Y/N shouted at the nurse throwing her tray of food at the door.

The woman in scrubs stood her ground, "I told you he's not coming! You can sit here and rot but you need to take a shower and get up. If I come back here and you're not dressed I'm calling reinforcements." 

"The fuck?"

The nurse gave her a stern look, "Mr. Caesar-Su is not coming. End of story. Now get up!"

Y/N kicked the blankets off her bed in anger. The chills took over her body once again. Her dainty hands seemed paler now that she was getting clean. Sniffling she got in the shower anyway and dressed in something new. 

The nurse came back and smiled seeing that she was ready, "You ready to see Doctor Joyce?"

Y/N's jaw ticked but she didn't speak. The doctor made her talk about her life and she didn't like that. Talking made her want to resort to her own coping mechanisms which meant cocaine and alcohol. 

But if she wanted Oakley to come visit her she needed to cooperate. 

Demons posted all around me, I can't beat em all alone...

The past few months flew by in a breeze. Y/N was away without leave to the rest of the world. She was tucked away getting help while Oakley got bigger and better without her by his side. 

"How does that make you feel Y/N?" Doctor Joyce asked.

Y/N averted her eyes flickering her rubber band bracket on her wrists, she plucked it allowing it to hit her skin, "I don't like it. It makes me feel invisible."

Doctor Joyce took note of that. "Y/N we talked about this."

Y/N scoffed, "He hasn't seen me in almost eight months. I'm here rotting away and he's moving up. Fuck him."

"I understand that you're angry but you need to decenter men from your life. He's living his life because he's determined to find himself and be great. What are you doing other than waiting for him to show up? Why do you want to be clean?"

A small smile lifted onto the girls face, "At first I wanted to be clean for him but I quickly realized that wasn't working. I want to be clean because my original self is way better than whatever I was trying to find. I needed to face the pains of my realities."

Doctor Joyce nodded confirming her thoughts, "Good. Have you been writing songs again?"

Y/N quickly shook her head, "No."

"Why not?"

Y/N felt her heart thump again. She pulled on the rubber band and her plucking quickened. Snap, snap snap. The doctor eyed Y/N's wrist. Her career was a trigger. The doctor wrote on her notebook again. 

Y/N rocked a bit trying to self soothe, "I can't bring myself to write. It reminds me of when I first started using."

"Tell me more. You're safe here."

Truth is I wanna find myself again. Tell me my friend my friend when did I lose it...

Y/N thought about the first time she used. It was years ago right after Oakley did the 17 mixtape. She had just blown up and signed with Def Jam Records. A big move ensued from London back to her home in America. 

"It was the first time we were apart." Y/N mentioned to Doctor Joyce before returning to her memories. 

"We hadn't spoken in weeks. I was in the middle of writing my first album after my EP went platinum. I was working all kinds of crazy hours and still tried supporting him. He was a bit upset because he wanted to be just as big as me. I encouraged him to keep going. I promised he'd have a feature on my album."

Y/N shook her head at the silly memories. Doctor Joyce saw her face brighten when she talked about their time together, "I was dead tired one day. I had to make a club appearance. We were in Ibiza at the time. Some girl offered me an upper. That was the first time I tried drugs."

"I guess it went downhill from there."

The Doctor nodded, "So how does Oakley add to your trauma, Y/N?"

She cleared her throat taking a deep breath, "I chose drugs over him. It was 2021 after the Wild West tape. He was getting much more popular. We were already engaged. You know he proposed with a ring pop." 

Y/N laughed covering her face, "I was so in love with him. He had an important gig. I showed up three hours late high as shit. That was his final straw. I had strung him along while I was a druggie. He loved me regardless though."

Y/N continued, "Anyways, I hit him one night while we were arguing. I didn't see him for a year and a half after that. Engagment was over. When I made that call from the jail cell, that was the first time I'd seen him since I hit him." 

Doctor Joyce sighed, "We've got a lot of work to do. But you've been five months clean. I'm proud of you especially for sharing today."

Y/N smiled feeling a weight leave her chest. She was getting back to normal one way or another. 

I know when I sober up I'll have to pay my dues...

A few years later Y/N squared her shoulders back feeling the white piano keys beneath her fingers. She played the keys flawlessly trying to finish her last song of her new album. The door to her in-home studio creaked open. 

"Oakley, it's not polite to walk in without speaking." Y/N said playing the last note of her song. 

He laughed watching her write a few notes down in her notebook. He took a seat on the piano bench next to her, "Are you done yet? I'm ready to go to bed."

Y/N smiled when he kissed her neck sending shivers down her spine, "I'm done now."

Oakley felt his knees weaken when she looked at him with love, "What is it, Y/N?"

She felt his lips on hers making her sigh. The kiss was refreshing yet soft. Like she was fragile and if he pushed her too hard she'd break, "I'm a bit nervous."

He watched as she picked on the rubber band braclet on her wrists. His hands soothed the skin on her exposed thighs, "Baby, you don't have to be nervous around me."

Her eyes brightened when she saw that he was still wearing his new engagement ring, "We've been back together for two years and we haven't done anything yet."

"So what are you saying?" He asked kissing her shoulder pulling on her tank top. He wanted her to say it out loud. 

Y/N's eyes squeezed shut as she let out a moan, "I'm ready but I want to make sure you're ready."

Oakley looked at her confused, "What do you mean love?"

Y/N picked with the rubber band again. Snap, snap, snap. Oakley grabbed her wrist stopping her movements, "Talk to me."

It was like deja vu for her, "I know I apologized when I got clean. But I still feel like there's some unspoken tension in here."

He kissed her wrists shaking his head, "No."

Y/N nodded, "Some of my shame and embarrassment is still there."

Her face felt hot as he kissed her cheek grabbing the sides of her face, "Y/N look at me."

She followed his orders staring into his eyes. Oakley smiled brightly trying to ease her, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Now kiss me."

Y/N giggled kissing with him a newfound passion. The two fell to the floor in a manic state. With a new sense of hunger Y/N peeled her clothes off. Oakley laid her back taking in her body. His eyes dilated, she was better than any adrenaline rush and he was better than any drug. 

She moaned when he pressed her wet clit bringing shivers to her body. Y/N was extremely eager but he'd take his time with her. He pressed his tip against her opening sliding into her with ease.

He moaned, "Fuck I missed you."

Y/N held onto his biceps feeling her eyes roll back. He leaned down to kiss her as he pounded into her. It was gonna be a long night. 

The two of them laid naked on the studio floor. He was enamored by her and the way she glowed. Y/N turned to face him, "Thank you for bringing me back to life."

Oakley smiled softly kissing her lips, "No that was all you beautiful. I was just waiting on your return."

Authors Note:

besties i lied yesterday I'm not ending this lmfaooo

i know this ate fr, like omg and it's long as shit too

ignore mistakes, no updates tomorrow I'm busy