-Chapter 59

Niall's POV

When I heard my phone ringing again for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes, I rolled my eyes. I did not want to speak with Laura, she can put the bloody results through my letterbox and kindly fuck off.

I don't know what made me look at my phone screen but I did, frowning when I saw it was Jenny's name on the screen. I quickly picked up my phone and answered it.

"Why haven't you been answering your phone?"

"I just did." I bit my lip.

"No, to Laura." Jenny responded which earned a frown from me. How did she know I have been ignoring the calls. Oh God, Laura was talking to her wasn't she?

"I uh, well I don't really want to talk with her."

"Well, I think you might have to now." Jenny replied.

"Why? Oh fuck, what did she tell you?" I questioned.

"That her waters broke." Jenny's voice quavered as she spoke.

"What? No they didn't, she's only like seven months, shut up." I rolled my eyes not believing a word she said. How could Laura be giving birth already? Is this her lame excuse as to not doing the paternity test? Is she faking her waters breaking?

"No Niall, I'm being serious. She's being taken to the delivery room now and she asked me to tell you to come because she says she knows it is your kid." Jenny sighed quietly after she spoke. "I think you should go." She said after a few moments of silence.

"Jenny, that is not my kid. I swear to you, we always used protection."

"Niall, that does not mean it's not your kid. You know fine well condoms aren't always one hundred per cent effective." Jenny suddenly snapped which took me aback a little. I could totally comprehend why she was upset though, I think anyone would be in her shoes.

"Okay, I'm sorry." I sighed running a hand through my hair. There were a few moments of strained silence on the phone before I spoke up. "Will you come with me?" I quietly asked her.

"I don't think Laura would want me there." She quietly spoke.

"Well, I do."

...

When we arrived at the hospital, I did not want to move from the car. "Do you honestly think it's mine?" I turned to Jenny, casting my eyes to my lap as I pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"Well, whose baby is it? Who else was sleeping with her other than you?"

"Nobody I knew of." I grumbled. "But at the end of the day, it was Laura. So God only knows." I mumbled inadvertently under my breath.

"You're just in denial." Jenny shook her head and got out of the car, shutting the door a little harder than one would usually. My eyes screwed shut when she did and if I could have kept them shut forever, in that moment, I would have.

I took a few more minutes before I had the strength to haul myself out of the car. Once I did, Jenny was waiting at the hospital doors for me. She looked at me but hastily looked away. There was a pang in my heart when I saw her expression, she looked so melancholic. The sight made me feel even more guilt than I already do for putting her through this.

We made our way upstairs to the second floor where the maternity ward was. Once we got to the doors, Jenny stopped and stood idle. "Aren't you coming?" I questioned and she shook her head. My eyes widened a little and I nodded solemnly. "Why not?"

"I don't think Laura would want me there and frankly, I don't want to be there either." She quietly said. I nodded and sighed quietly. "I'll be downstairs, you can come get me when you're ready to go or if you need me." She reached up, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek. "Let me know how she gets on." She took my hand, squeezing it gently. "I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered, leaning down and kissing her mouth for a few seconds before pulling away. "I'm so sorry." I almost inaudibly whispered before pushing open the doors and making my way to the nurses station. I asked for Laura and one of the nurse brought to a delivery room.

"Has the baby been born yet?" I questioned, fiddling my fingers.

"No, but I think it's almost here."

"Okay, can I just stay outside. The whole process makes me queasy." I half lied. It did make me queasy, but more because I was so excited but anxious when Arabella was being born. It was a good queasy, this was not. I just didn't really want to watch Laura giving birth, but can you blame me?

"Will the baby be okay though? Isn't it being born really early?" I questioned.

"Yes, it's early. This happens quite often though. Don't worry too much, the baby might be a little small and his or her lungs might be underdeveloped but we're hopefully it will be okay, other than that." She told me and I nodded unsurely.

"You can wait in the waiting room, come on." She took me to a room which was empty. I took a seat and sat playing with my fingers the entire time. All I could think of was poor Jenny sitting downstairs on her own, probably thinking about this baby that she's going to have to live with now that is just a constant reminder for her that Laura and I were together.

I actually hate myself for doing this.

I couldn't help but think about the little baby, wondering how it's going to survive. I didn't know babies could survive outside the womb this early. Can they even? I sighed quietly, running an anxious hand through my hair. I know I did not want this baby, but I also don't want anything to happen to the little squid.

About half an hour later of just dwelling on my anxieties, the same nurse returned, smiling at me. "The baby was born." She smiled. "The new mommy wants to see you." She said which made my stomach churn. It literally made me feel sick.

"What is it? A boy or a girl? Is it okay?" I questioned as I quickly took a stance.

"Come on, you can come see." She smiled, leading me back to the room we had previously been standing outside of. I tentatively followed her inside and behind the curtain to where Laura was sitting on the bed. At first I didn't notice the baby, then I saw its head resting on her chest. It was so small I almost missed it.

Laura glanced up at me from the baby and smiled softly as she ran her hand through the baby's thin, barely-there hair. I grimaced a little because it's hair wasn't exactly clean yet.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" I asked quietly, standing with my hands behind my back.

"A boy." She smiled softly again and so did I, although it quickly vanished when I remembered it's supposedly my little boy.

"Is he okay?"

"His breathing is a little struggled, they're seeing if he calms down with me first before they put him on any breathing support. He may not need it." She informed me. I nodded slowly, walking around the room then. Doing anything to distract myself from the situation.

"Do you want to hold him?" She asked, after a few moments of strained silence.

"No." I confirmed with no hesitation.

"Why not?" Laura questioned.

"I just don't want to, okay?"

"Okay." She peered back down at him, wrapping the blanket around him tighter. I walked to the window, using two of my fingers to pinch open the blind. I glanced outside, watching all the cars driving into the parking lot. I didn't find this interesting, I was only doing this because I didn't want to look at the child Laura was holding.

"Hey Niall," Laura said, making my body jolt and I quickly turned around. "I didn't bring anything for him because well, I wasn't expecting to have him this soon. Would you go into town and get a few bits like nappies and a few baby grows?" She questioned.

I nodded quickly with no hesitation, just wanting to get out of this situation as quick as I possibly could. "Yes of course." I replied.

"You don't have to go now, you can wait a little while if you wanna hold him?" She suggested but I shook my head dismissively.

"Toodles." I waved before quickly leaving the room. I ran a hand over my sweaty forehead, wiping the beads of perspiration off it. I didn't realise I was sweating so bad until the cold air hit me as I left her ward.

I hastily sprinted down the stairs and went to the coffee shop where I saw Jenny sitting, staring at the ground as she tapped her nails against her coffee cup. I immediately felt guilt resonate throughout my body again.

"Hey Jen." I quietly spoke as I neared her. Her eyes widened and she quickly stood up.

"Niall, did she have the baby? Is it okay?"

"Yes. A little boy, his breathing isn't great but he's okay other than that." I told her. "I think." I added when I realised I wasn't completely sure.

"Why are you here then?"

"I gotta go get him a few bits." I informed her and she nodded. "Do you wanna be dropped off back at work or..." I trailed off as I took her hand and we walked out to the car.

"No, I'll come with you." She wrapped an arm around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder as we continued to walk.

When we arrived at the store, I pulled up my hood, putting on my sunglasses before leaving the car. I certainly did not want to be pictured picking up newborn baby items. I did not want to face those inevitable questions.

Once inside, I grabbed some newborn nappies, some wipes and other necessities before making my way to the clothing. I then had an internal panic attack when it sunk in I didn't know what size he was... I hadn't even seen his whole body, nor did I know what weight or length he was.

I ran a hand through my hair, tugging at the ends. I took a step forward, fingering the little onesies delicately. I bit only my lip, staring at a white a blue one for a few seconds. Was I really buying this for my son? No, because he's not my son.

I picked upon the smallest size the shop stocked, which was just premature baby. I presumed he would need that size, considering he was a preemie but I also wasn't sure. I picked up a few onesie's and also a pair of dungarees with a striped t-shirt as I just though they looked adorable.

"Did you get everything?" Jenny questioned, looking through the bag once I returned to the car. I just shrugged my shoulders as I put the key into the ignition.

"I'll drop you back off at work then so you can go home. Bella needs to be picked up from nursery anyway." I quietly said as I began to drive out of the parking lot. Jenny nodded and once I had dropped her off, I drove around aimlessly, just squandering time because I didn't particularly want to return to the hospital.

When I finally did, I found Laura's ward, although she was sleeping and the baby was no longer with her. Placing down the bags, I peered around the room before going to the nurses station and asking where he had gone.

"He's in a special care unit. No need to panic, he's doing fine, just needs a little help with his breathing and he needs to put on a little weight before he can go home." The nurse told me and I let out a breath I did not know I was holding in. "You can come see him if you want." She told me.

"No, I uh... I just brought him some nappies and clothes and stuff. Best let him get his rest." I stuttered a little as I spoke, rocking on my heels.

"No, come on, you can put the clothes you brought on him if you like." She urged for me to follow her, although I shook my head dismissively again. "You don't need to be scared. Come on." She gestured for me to follow. I decided to swallow my pride and I followed her down the corridor.

She led me to a room, walking in but I stood idle at the door. My eyes widened when I saw the incubator sitting in the middle of the floor. "W-why's he in that?"

"Don't panic." She assured me while my back held the door open. "It's to keep him warm, he's too small for a cot yet." She told me. "Close the door and come in so you can see him." She said. I hesitantly took a step forward, allowing the door to shut behind me. I placed the bags I had brought next to the door and slowly walked to the centre of the room where the incubator was.

Peering inside, I was slightly taken aback. He was so tiny, I had not realised how small he really was. He looked like a doll. He was so small it was almost comical like. I felt as though I could hold him in the palm of my hand -he wasn't that small, it was a bit of an exaggeration but he also wasn't much larger.

"He's tiny." I whispered, feeling quite sorry for the little guy when I saw he was on breathing support, the tubes coming out of him thicker than his petite arms.

"Four pounds and six ounces." She confirmed.

"Wow." I whispered. "Arabella was eight." I quietly said. "He's almost half the size she was then and I thought she was tiny."

"Aww, has he got a big sister?" She questioned and I looked slightly horrified when she said that. "Oh sorry, I just assumed she was yours."

"No, she is." I quietly said. "I just don't know if he is." I mumbled under my breath, more to myself than to her. I was quite thankful when she didn't hear me. Or she did and she just decided not to comment.

"Would you like to hold him?" She questioned as I placed a hand on the incubator, watching his eyelids flicker before they just stayed shut. I thought for a moment he was going to open them, letting out the breath I had been holding in when he didn't.

"No." I shook my head

"Why not?"

"I just, I uh... I have to go." I quietly said, making my way for the door.

"Look, I'll leave you two alone for a while and if you want to hold him, just come get me or one of the other nurses." She told me, leaving the room before I did. I sighed quietly, rubbing the back of my neck as I glanced between the door and the tiny baby laying in the incubator.

I bit my lip as I hesitantly walked forward, pulling the chair from against the wall up next to the incubator. I took a seat and peered in at the little boy lying next to me, watching how his tiny fingers curled around the tube that was coming out of his mouth.

I reached forward with a shaking hand, pushing it through the hole in the incubator. My breath hitched as I touched his arm. Suddenly, his eyes slowly opened and mine widened. I smiled softly when I saw his blue eyes blinking slowly, adjusting to the dim light in the room. They weren't as an intense blue as I recall Bella having, even as a newborn.

I gently stroked the back of his hand, smiling as I watched the little movements he made, finding it so endearing. His little toes curling and his arms moving from left to right in the air. My body jolted though when he did something I was not expecting. His little fingers soon wrapped around my index finger, clutching it in his hand.

I wasn't sure how long I was sat there with him, but for as long as he was clutching my finger, I didn't want to move. His touch was just so comforting, I didn't want to leave him and as it seemed, he didn't want me to leave either.

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A/N You guys hit the goal so I wrote this as quickly as I could! Hope you enjoyed this chapter (even if you don't like what's going on) but I enjoyed writing this!

I will update as soon as this gets 90 votes and 60 comments again! I know you all can do it because you're support is amazing as always and I love you all so so much! You guys always put a smile on my face!

So yeah, don't forget to vote and comment! Xx

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