Jenny's POV

I sat at my desk at work sullenly, looking through next month's box that was going to be released, not in the mood to do any work really. It's Niall's birthday in a few days, it's the first birthday I won't be spending with him in five years. Five whole years. It's a long time when you really think about it. Half a decade?

And I'm expected to get over it quickly? Pretend like nothing ever happened with him and just.. move on?

I sighed and turned back to my computer, trying to focus on work but I couldn't. I was too preoccupied with thoughts of Niall and that girl I know he's probably with now.. whoever she is.

Andrew came in then with some coffee, handing me some and sitting down on my desk. "Hey Jen, how are you?" He asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Alright." I lied.

"I know you're not, you can't even focus on work... maybe you should go home?" He suggested. No, no. Home is the last place I want to be, if I have any chance of forgetting about Niall it's here. Home has too many reminders of our relationship, far too many.

"No, I'm fine here." I responded, sipping on my coffee and turning back to my computer again. He nodded unsurely and sighed, not speaking again and just leaving me to it. I knew he didn't know how to help me.

I don't even know how to help myself.

Niall's POV

"Can't we go out today?" Laura whined, wrapping her arms around my neck. I nibbled on my lip as I thought about it, only for a spilt second.

"No." I quickly replied. I do not want people to see the two of us together.. not yet anyways, not until things get serious. I don't want to cause Jenny any unnecessary pain.

"Why not." She whined, stomping her foot against the ground. Jeez, what a diva.

"Cause." I kissed her on the nose. "I just wanna stay in today." I swayed back and forth with her as Arabella babbled away from the ground beneath us, hitting Laura quite hard may I add, with one of her plastic toy animals.

"Ow." She whined, grabbing her ankle and looking down at Bella offended. I just chuckled fondly and picked her up. She squealed to be put down then and once she was she crawled over to her toy bin before falling.

"She crawled for the first time!" I exclaimed while Laura just watched unamused. She didn't understand the pride I felt right now. If Jenny was here, she would of been just as ecstatic as I was.

Then it hit me, Jenny missed one of our child's milestones, she didn't get to see her crawl for the first time. She missed out on that, just like I missed out on Arabella eating for the first time and sitting up for the first time.

It feels like a constant battle of who's going to see the milestones? Who's going to have to lose, and miss out on seeing them. It kind of saddens me to think of it. We're both missing out on half our child's life. I wish life wasn't like this, but it is what it is.

Laura and I stayed home all day and the next day she began whining to go out again. I sighed deeply, running a hand over my face. God, this bitch does not get it, does she?

"Laura, we can't go out okay." I sighed and she glowered at me.

"Why not." She snapped.

"I don't want us to be seen together!" I exclaimed. "I'm a public figure, I don't want to be seen out with another woman when I'm not even divorced yet!" I exclaimed.

"Oh of course, you need to look good." She folded her arms. God, she just doesn't get it does she? I'm not about to ruin my reputation for her. I don't want to be seen as the asshole who left his wife for another woman because I know that's how the press will see it. They will automatically assume I was cheating with Laura so now that's why we're kind of dating. They don't know what's gone on between Jenny and I.

"Laura it's not even that. It's only early days, I just don't want to be flashing you about." I sighed.

"Am I an embarrassment to you or something? Is that why you refuse to let me tell anyone on social media or even in real life that we're dating?" She yelled.

"We aren't even dating!" I exclaimed.

"Why amen't I good enough for you Niall?" She asked, her eyes filling with tears. "Niall I love you." She said, both our eyes widening when she said it. No, she doesn't mean that, does she? "Niall I love you." She whispered again, a tear rolling down her cheek. Fuck, she does.

"Seriously?" I ask in shock, she nodded and bit on her lip. I smiled softly and pulled her closer to me, beginning to make out with her then. It had been so long since anyone said those words to me, they just made me feel euphoric inside. I didn't respond to her verbally though, the physical response was enough for her, much to my relief.

"Okay." I sighed, pulling back after a little while. "Will you be my girlfriend then?" I asked her. She squealed and hugged me tightly. I picked her up and spun her around, giggling softly. I didn't know if this was a good or a bad move, but I was ready to just live in the moment.

"Of course I'll be your girlfriend!" She exclaimed just as a toy zebra hit her right on the head, both of us turning to the culprit who was giggling.

"Bella." I shook my head. "You naughty girl." I chuckled while Laura just rubbed the back of her head and Bella giggled loudly, proud of her work.

...

Jenny's POV

I nervously rang the doorbell and a few minutes later, a very tired Niall answered, running a hand through his dishevelled bedhead.

"Happy birthday." I quietly smiled, handing him a card from Bella and one from me. "I thought Bella should get you something." I handed him a gift, while she smiled at him.

"Thanks." He looked oddly surprised as he took Bella from me then. "Come on in actually, we need to talk." He gestured for me to follow him in. When I walked in it was clear to me his birthday celebrations occurred last night. There were balloons scattered everywhere along with beer bottles and on the couch was a lovely, pink bra.

I grimaced a little when I saw it. Niall blushed and chuckled awkwardly before throwing it off the couch. "Goddamn hoover, leaving her bra here." He said, I laughed too, pretending it didn't hurt when the fact he's moving on hurts me more than anything.

"I'll be back in a second okay." He said, taking Bella with him and coming back with a large brown envelope.

"What's this?" I asked, looking up at him as he handed it to me.

"Open it." He sat down and perched Bella on his lap, bouncing her up and down gently. I bit on my lip and opened the envelope, taking out some sort of document. I felt my face paling when I saw it was the papers for a divorce. It's really happening.

"So I was thinking our custody agreement with Bella can be what it is now. I'll pay child support of course and yeah, all that fun stuff." He chuckled nervously. I nodded, feeling my throat go dry as I read the papers.

"All you have to do is sign, you can take them home and have a read over them if you want. I guess we aren't really in any rush, unless you're getting married." He tried to make a joke but I didn't find it funny. I was too upset right now to find anything humorous.

"Yeah, I think I'll take them home first." I quietly said and he nodded as he opened the cards from Bella and I, placing them on the mantlepiece along with the numerous other cards he had already received.

"No point staying married now, sure we aren't getting back together again, are we?" He questioned.

"Well, you already called the answer to that question." I gestured to the bra lying on the ground, looking up at him with watery eyes.

"Jenny, I'm sorry, if I had of known you were coming I would of tidied a bit, I don't mean to hurt you." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm just trying to move on, there's no point living in the past, is there?"

"No, no you're right to move on. I know you don't love me anymore so it's only fair for you to move on. I just wish you hadn't done it so fast." I admitted, a tear running down my cheek. "It just hurts." I said. bowing my head as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Oh Jen." Niall cooed, getting up and getting me a tissue, coming back and handing me it. He sat down next to me and wrapped  an arm around me, letting me rest my head on his chest. I immediately got his scent, that aroma he has. It soothes me so much.

"How did you just fall out of love so fast?" I cried, just letting it all out. I had nothing to lose anymore, not now when I've lost Niall already, and I needed to know the answer to that question.

"I didn't." He admitted. "I never stopped loving you." He whispered, which just made me cry harder. He wrapped both arms around me tightly and let me cry into his chest. "We just weren't making each other happy anymore, we didn't trust each other. We were constantly fighting. It wasn't good for either of us. I just thought we needed to move on." He placed his chin on top of my head.

"If it means anything I still love you too." I cried, gripping his shirt in my hand.

"It does mean something to me." He smiled softly. "Jen, I'm always going to love you, you were my first true love, my first wife, not that I'm looking for wife number two." He chuckled.

"You meant everything to me, you really did. I thought it would last forever, but it didn't. I thought we would beat the odds and come out stronger than ever but sometimes you just have to let things go."

"Why did you let go so quickly?" I questioned, tears rolling down your cheeks.

"I didn't let go quickly. I forced myself to start moving on. We both need to move on in life but if it's any consolation, I will always love and care for you and I'm always going to be here if you need anyone." He quietly said to me. "It's just time we find the happiness we both deserve. We both deserve to be happy and that won't happen while we're together. We both have busy schedules and we need to think about Bella." He said.

"What about her?" I sniffled.

"Well, I don't want her to grow up in a house where her mammy and daddy are always fighting. I want her to grow up knowing we can still be friends. I don't want her to feel like we're unhappy together. But we can stay good friends now, can't we?" He asked, stroking my hair gently.

"I don't know." I honestly replied. I know it will hurt so much if I stay friends with Niall, but we need to, for Arabella's sake. "Can we not give it one more chance." I sobbed.

"Jenny." He whispered. "I'm sorry but it's over. I don't think there's any point trying again. I don't want either of us to go through that pain and I don't want to give you any false hope." He sighed, keeping his arms tight around me.

"But Niall, can't we at least try? For Arabella's sake?" I questioned, looking up at him with watery eyes. "We wanted her for so so long, look how many times we had to try for her. We persevered and we got her. Why can't we persevere now? We are going to lose out on so much we could of done with her." I cried. 

"Niall, we can't just give up like this. We're Niall and Jenny, neither of us give up that quick. Look how much we've come through and you're just ready to let it go now?!" I exclaimed. "Just imagine what we could have, our little holidays together as a family. We would sit on the beach and watch Arabella as she played in the sand, or what about Christmas together as a family? Sit there in the morning together and watch her as she opens her gift. Her birthday? What about that? Look how much you're letting go of if we don't just try." 

"Jenny, there is no point in trying. Look, I don't mean to hurt you but there's no point in us going back to an unhappy place. Just because we have a child together, doesn't oblige to be together as a couple, we can still be friends, right?" He questioned. I just looked up at him as my lip wobbled and I was ready to burst into tears again. 

"I just don't want her growing up with her mom and dad split up too." I whispered. "Joanna and I did." I admitted and Niall looked slightly taken back. I have never spoken much to him about my dad, he knows vaguely he wasn't kind to us, but he has no clue what happened in my childhood. Nobody does, I don't even know if my mother caught on. 

"But Jen, look, wasn't it better you growing up without your da there than when he was there?" He asked. "Wasn't the house a happier place?" He questioned. He was right, it was better without him, not much better but I wouldn't want Arabella to grow up in fear of her own parents like I did. I don't want history to repeat itself again, she doesn't deserve that. 

"It was but Niall, we wouldn't turn out like them." I whispered, putting my hand in his. "You're nothing like my dad." I said, looking up at him through my eyelashes which made him bite his lip. I knew the affect that had on him. Looks like I still have it. 

"You don't know that though. Look Jenny, I am so so sorry but it's over and that's it. We aren't going back to that unhappy place again. It's better for Bella to have parents who are friends rather than parents who bicker constantly." He said. Although I didn't want to believe it, he was right. If my parents had of spilt up sooner than they had, my childhood would have been a lot better. 

Maybe Niall is right.. Maybe this is for the best. 

"I want you to know Jen, you were the love of my life and you always will be. You were the woman who taught me how to be a man, how to love. You taught me to trust again and more importantly, you made me happy again." He whispered.

"I was so low before I met you. I had hit rock bottom a year or two before. I was only recovering and you were the last step to my full recovery. You helped me become the happy person I am today. You put so many smiles on my face, even the days I felt like crying, you lit up my world." He kissed the top of my head.

"Like nobody else." I finished the lyric which made him chuckle fondly.

"You helped me so much Jen, without even knowing it and I can never thank you enough for it. I can't thank you enough for the five years you've given me and not to mention, our little bundle of joy." He pointed over to Arabella. "I will never regret a minute of the five years I spent with you. I will never regret having Bella with you, not even if we both get married in a few years and move on. I will still love you, I'm always going to love you, just not in the same way." He explained.

"What do you mean?" I asked, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"The love I have for you now is gratitude, for how you've helped me. How you fixed me and made me a better person. You will forever be the most important woman who was ever been in my life. I don't think I will ever love someone the way I loved you. You only find that connection once in a life time." He smiled softly, a tear rolling down his own cheek but he quickly batted it away.

"Then why are we letting it go?" I asked.

"Because Jenny, when you love someone you let them go." He smiled, but I saw the sadness in his eyes.

"And if it's meant to be, they'll come back." We both whispered simultaneously. We both smiled at each other and then looked away.

"I will never love anyone the way I love you either." I whispered, looking up at him. He smiled sadly and nodded.

"Is this it?" He asked, looking down at me.

"I guess so." I nodded and sighed, looking down at my hands.

"I'll always love you, blondie." He took my hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"I'll always love you too, artificial blondie." I responded and we both quickly looked away when our eyes watered.

"It may be the end of an era, but hopefully it will be a better one for both of us." Niall smiled at me and I nodded.

"Hopefully." I whispered, although I knew, I was never going to be as happy anymore. Not without my artificial blondie by my side.

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A/N This broke my heart to write :( I'm sorry !! But the book wouldn't be interesting if it was just fluff the whole time :( We need a bit of drama in our lives, right ?

I hope you are all enjoying this nonetheless, again, 70 votes and 45 comments and I'll update at the weekend for all you lovely people !! I love you all xx 

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