The next couple of days were tough. Harry wouldn’t come out of his room and Louis couldn’t even coax his way in there and sleep with Harry. Louis didn’t pressure him when he said no, because he knew that Harry just needed some time. Louis did have trouble sleeping in the guest room because he couldn’t get Harry off his mind. He tossed and turned in his bed, looking at the clock and groaned because it had been four hours and he still hadn’t fallen asleep.

“Louis, why did you fall in love with someone like me?”

“What do you mean, someone like you?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. Broken?”

Louis laughed. “Honey, you do realize that I’m broken as well?” Harry sighed and Louis ignored it and continued on. “I fell in love with you because you didn’t have to do much for me to love you. You didn’t make it hard for me to love every piece of you, you were just you.”

Louis threw the covers off of his body and decided to go get some tea to calm himself down. He turned on the kettle and sat on the couch to think about something. His mind kept wandering like crazy, going through the memories of the past year in his mind, and somehow ended when he first received torment by his bullies.

Louis was walking down the hallway minding his own business when he was plowed to the ground. “Watch where you’re going you faggot,” the spat at him as he was on the floor. This was a time even before Louis had even came out to anyone. Even to himself, for that matter. 

He just collected his things and continued on with the rest of the day, hoping he could make it home in time to lock his door. He didn’t want to deal with his father; he just wanted to sleep.

What did I do to deserve any of this? Why can’t i just live a normal life? He sighed as his mind was wandering as he walked slowly home. He started to think about what the kid said to him earlier and he stopped in his tracks as he realized. A light bulb went off in his head. He was gay. He just accepted himself; he actually had a reason why he stared at the boys subtly in the locker room or why he would always picture kissing boys rather than girls. He smiled because he finally made sense of his feelings; it all made sense now. 

Louis sighed because the very next day he accidentally came out to the school, and the torment was what caused a lot of things to happen in his life. It didn’t really help with his sudden onset of depression. It sort of made it worse. He never did go to a psychologist because he didn’t need to be diagnosed with depression to know that he had it.

He was broken out of his thoughts when the kettle went off. He got off the couch and got his tea. He usually doesn’t drink tea at this hour in the morning, but he felt like he needed to. He went back to the couch and his mind wandered even more.

“You filthy piece of shit, why can’t you be fucking normal!” Louis’ father screamed at him and slapped him across the face. Louis winced slightly at the sting that was left on his right cheek. He knew there would be a handprint bruise there in morning. “Answer me when you are spoken to!” He slapped him again and again and again. It was to the point that Louis’ cheek was so swollen that he couldn’t see out of his right eye. He knew it was not going to be able to be covered up so he braced himself for the torment that would happen tomorrow.

Louis cringed as his remembered everything from his past, and he started crying about the one memory he didn’t want in his mind, ever. The first time he took a blade to his skin.

Louis was running home from school, the bullies close behind him. He didn’t even know why they were running after him, to be honest, but he didn’t want to find out. He tried, really tried to keep his speed from slowing down. He ran and ran, he saw that his house was getting closer and closer, but so were the kids behind him. He just needed that extra push to be able to get to the door, and just as he reached his house, his father pulled up into the driveway.

He came out of the car and strolled over to Louis, “Hey bud, are those your friends?” Louis shook his head no, and his father then shooed them away. Louis uttered a soft thank you before he walked into the house, awaiting his beating. But he didn’t get one. His father actually left him alone.

Louis went into his room and locked it. He went over in his head what had gone on that day and he started crying. He tugged on his hair hard and screamed. He knew that he would have to keep quiet, but he really didn’t care. He went into his bathroom and pushed everything to the floor. He plopped on the toilet seat and noticed that somehow the razor broke apart to where the blades scattered on the floor.

He picked one up and inspected it and looked to his wrist. He pulled his sleeve up, and well, you know the rest.

Harry found Louis passed out on the couch, with tear stains on his cheek and a half drunk tea on the coffee table beside him. He grabbed the cup and dumped the contents down the drain, figuring Louis would want a new cup when he woke up.

Harry entered the living room with a new steaming cup of tea, and Louis rolled over facing the back of the couch. Harry noticed that his shoulders were shaking slightly, and he was quick to notice the soft whimpers falling from his mouth. 

Harry climbed on the couch and pulled Louis closer to him. He managed to get him to roll over and was now crying into his chest. Harry rubbed his back soothingly, letting him continue to cry.

“Lou, what’s wrong?”

“Just some memories came back to mind. I’m fine now.”

“You’re still crying. Talk to me.”

“I just sort of remembered the first time I had self harmed and it brought back terrible memories.”

“I’m sorry Lou, it’s alright to cry. Everything is alright.” Louis nodded his head against Harry’s chest. Harry didn’t ask him anything about his memories; he just held him. 

“The taunting, the tormenting, the abuse. I just don’t understand why it had to happen? Why couldn’t I just live in a normal world, with people who understood me?” Louis spoke up and Harry didn’t say anything. “The kids would beat me and then I would get home for my drunk ass father to beat me. I never knew why he did it. Like, after a while I tried to convince myself that I deserved it.”

“No, no Louis. No one ever deserves something like that. Coming from someone who had to endure it as well, no one ever deserves to be hit, to be beaten or harassed. It just happens because that person is sick in the head or they get bored.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing to be sorry for, alright?” Louis nodded and snuggled his head into Harry’s chest before sighing.

Harry heard snickering coming from outside his room. He curled himself up into a ball. “Harry, my boy, don’t be shy; this will all be over very soon.” Harry was physically shaking. He didn’t want to know what was going to happen, but he couldn’t run.

He was frozen with fear when his father pulled him down the bed and pulled off his pajama bottoms. He heard a belt hit the floor, and his eyes clenched shut. He passed out from the pain because he woke up with his clothes back on and a barely there memory of what happened the night before.

Harry clenched his eyes shut, he couldn’t cry. He couldn’t cry, not when Louis was like this. He took some even breaths and the wave of emotions went away. Louis’ breathing had evened out, which meant that Louis was sound asleep. 

Harry went to move, but Louis’ grip became stronger, “No, don’t leave.”

“Don’t worry, I’m right here.”

It was weird because that was the first time that Harry allowed Louis to touch him in a long time. Louis sighed in contentment, hoping that this would happen more often.

**