Harry is suffering from depression, and well, so is Louis. But, they are both suffering through it differently. Louis goes through his days to try to understand what it's like to be in Harry's shoes, since his depression is worse. Upon the realization, Harry realizes that Louis was the weight that kept him from exploding, into oblivion. 

Pairing: Harry/Louis

Word Count: 

Warning: CAUTIONS: Rape, Suicidal Thoughts, Attempted Suicide, Past Abuse, Depression/Severe Depression, Self Harm, Mention of Alcohol Abuse and Smut. I do think you might require some tissues, some of the parts are a bit brutal to read (I had a hard time to write this). This isn't your normal love story, good luck! 

This thing took me over a month to complete, I had 7,000 words written in two days, but I had to stop because of college final exams. But, then I couldn't get myself to write more of it, so it stood like that for two more weeks. And then at 2am, I got the best idea and then in a half hour i had up it to almost 9,000, and well the rest it history. Anyways, this was the longest thing that i've written is such a short amount of time and I cannot get over myself that I actually did this. The song that this is based on is a huge favorite of mine, I didn't know of this song until a few days when I got the idea, but thanks to @heyhazza for showing me the song and thus the story begun. Thank you to @youshouldbeproud , @blazinwith_Zouis and @heyhazza for putting up with me for the past month with this, I'm sorry for being annoying. 

A special thanks to @heyhazza for editting this! and @tomlenson for the cover! :)

Hope you enjoy.

~Hunter xx. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry and Louis, they were more alike than they both realized. They both suffered from depression, but one suffered worse than the other. Every night when they fell asleep, they both just wanted it to end, but one of them wished it really could happen.

That one was Harry. His depression wasn’t brought on by nothing, he had a horrible childhood and it was bound to happen this way. Only by the age of 14 was he diagnosed with a case of severe depression, but he never did take a blade to his skin; he knew he was better than that. But there were days when he just wanted to end it all, but never knew how or even wanted to do it. Those same days, he would just lock himself in his room and stare into the darkness that was his room; he didn’t paint his walls black for nothing.

Friends came and gone throughout his life, but no one ever understood that he was longing for a friend, just one friend, yet no one obliged. No one stood up, no one stayed. No one knew that was another reason why his depression got even worse. Since no one wanted to be around him, he thought that it was because they didn’t want to be around the “depressed” or “sad” kid. It wasn’t that, they just didn’t know how to approach him. How would you approach someone who was constantly upset or never really smiled? That’s how everyone felt around Harry, but what they didn’t know was that he was trying-- trying to be happy, trying to smile, he was trying to be the person that everyone else wished he could be, but in reality, he wasn’t. He was just Harry, the all around depressed kid.

One day, that all would change. In a leap of fate (at least that’s what Harry called it) he met his savior, literally. Harry was just about ready to end his life, when an intriguing boy stopped him. He stopped him from going to jump the bridge, he stopped him from ending his life, he stopped him from doing the one thing he wished he could accomplish. He stopped him with one sentence, a sentence that would change his life forever, “Umm, could you help me find a place to stay?”

Harry turned around from where he was headed and cocked his head to side before the boy repeated himself once again. Harry replied with a simple, “None of the hotels are any good.”

“Ohh, but do you know where I could stay, just for the night?”

Harry’s palms became sweaty and his heart started to race. He started to panic slightly because he wanted to let the boy stay with him, but he didn’t want to be judged because of what he suffered from. But, that all went out the window when he felt a hand on his shoulder and a pair of blue eyes that pierced into his soul. “You alright, mate?”

Harry just nodded slightly before he uttered, “Umm, you could stay with me, i--if you want?” Harry felt the blood rush to his neck and face, and he believed that the boy totally thought that he was a freak.

The boy stepped back and replied, “Really? You would let a complete stranger stay with you? I could be a murderer for all you know.”

Harry’s eyes widened and the boy saw his mini freak out. “Hey, mate i’m just pulling your strings. I can assure you that I am definitely not some murderer. So, you sure about me staying with you?”

“It’s not like anyone else ever does.” Harry started to walk back to his house, and the boy just quietly walked behind him.

“You know, I never got your name. I’m Louis.”

“I’m Harry,” he replied as he opened the door to his apartment. He kicked off his shoes and walked straight into his room. He shut the door and locked it.

Louis just stayed in the doorway before he kicked off his own shoes. He rubbed his hands over his eyes and sighed, “This is going to be a long night.”

And Louis’ intentions were not stay there for only one night.

**

After quite sometime, Louis decided to ask Harry if he wanted something to eat. Even though Harry was depressed, he never once missed a meal.

Louis knocked on his door; he could hear the faint sound of music coming from the room. “Hey, it’s Lou, I was going to order some food and I wanted to know if you wanted something.”

Before Louis got an answer, Harry opened the door, “What were you planning on ordering?” He spoke as it came out almost as a slight whisper.

“Well, what’s good around here?” And well, Harry didn’t go back into his room until he was too tired to stay awake. He told Louis that there was a guest room he was welcome to have if he liked.

“Lou, I’m going to bed,” Louis nodded and finally noticed how droopy Harry’s eyes looked, “The guest room is opposite mine, next to the bathroom. You can crash there.” He mumbled the last part as he yawned and it made Louis yawn as well.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, now goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Okay, goodnight Harry!” Louis beamed as he skipped ahead of Harry. Harry stopped in his tracks and looked dumbfounded at what had just happened. He shook his head slightly and walked into his room, shutting the door tightly and literally plopping on his bed.

And if Harry smiled once that night, then it would have been a sight to see.

**

Having Louis there was different to say the least, but it was a good different. Harry laughed, he actually laughed and it was the longest stretch of someone ever hearing the laugh that came out of him.

Louis was different, different than most, but a good different in Harry’s opinion. Harry always thought about Louis, he thought about him in the morning when he got up from sleeping (sometimes he wished he didn’t wake up), and throughout the day when Louis would leave to go to work, and Louis was always the last thing on his mind when he went to bed.

Harry smiled, actually smiled whenever Louis smiled at him. But who could blame him? His smile was so contagious and breathtaking, you’d be blind if you couldn’t smile back at him. Louis was by far Harry’s biggest weakness. He made him think of things differently than he ever did before. He made him think that there was more to life than he thought. Louis gave Harry the one thing that he longed for, the one thing that no one ever could be to him-- a friend.

Louis becoming Harry’s friend was seriously the biggest thing that could have ever happened to Harry. It made Harry actually think good about himself, like there wasn’t anything wrong with being the way he was and that someone actually liked, liked him for who he was.

Harry started to see things differently, but he would still have those random outbursts when Louis wasn’t there. He would curl into a ball and rock back and forth on his bed under the covers. It was normal, but he would usually wake up to see Louis go to work, but this morning he slept in and he freaked out.

But what he didn’t know was that Louis was almost an hour late to work because he waited, he waited for Harry to wake up. Louis couldn’t wait any longer and he did do something before he left. He went into Harry’s room and lightly kissed his forehead. He saw Harry’s mouth twitch into a slight smile and he was happy with that reaction, even though he wasn’t really awake, and then he was out the door.

Harry didn’t feel it, he really didn't; he thought it was part of his dream. He was dreaming about Louis though. It was an intimate dream, but not so intimate that he would get off from it. It was more like a connection type of being intimate with each other.

In the dream they were lying facing each other, and just smiling at one another. Louis had brought his hand to Harry’s and squeezed it lightly before he scooted closer to him to where their noses were touching. Louis nuzzled his nose against Harry’s and the latter blushed before moving his head down. But Louis put one finger under his chin and moved it up to look into his eyes. Once Louis had looked into his eyes, he saw everything, everything that Harry was about. He saw a lonely little boy who was just looking for a friend, for someone to accept him for who he was.

The part where Louis kissed Harry’s forehead was because he said the one thing that Harry wished would happen already, “Harry I accept you, I accept you for who you are. You, my friend, are amazing and genuine. I don’t ever want to see that smile upside down.” Outside of the dream, a tear slipped from his eye because even in his dreams he knew it wasn’t true, but when Louis had kissed him on the forehead, it was the exact same time that it happened in the dream. So in reality, anyone could have gotten that mixed up.

And that’s how Louis found Harry when he got home, curled into a ball while he was still rocking back and forth.

“Harry?” Louis quickly went to him and grabbed his face in his hands, “Harry, calm down, I’m right here, Love. Open your eyes.”

Harry opened his eyes and catapulted himself at Louis. “I’m sorry, I got upset for nothing!” he spoke through his violent sobs. Louis tried to calm him down by rubbing at his back, but he really needed to get Harry all cried out. After a few more minutes Harry lifted his head from Louis’ chest.

“All done?” Louis spoke a he ran his fingers through Harry’s hair as he nodded slightly. “Now, tell me why you’re all upset, please?”

“You’ll laugh at me…” Harry spoke as he started to twiddle his thumbs.

“I will never laugh at you, you crying is not a laughing matter.”

“I thought that you left me for good. You always wait for me until I wake up, but you weren’t there when I opened my eyes.”

“Harry, I waited and was about an hour late to work. I wanted to wait longer, but my work has an hour grace period with lateness. I can’t lose the only job that is keeping us here. But I did leave a kiss on your forehead before I left. Your lips twitched into a slight smile and that’s when I knew I could leave.”

Harry quickly moved his head up, “But I thought that was my dream?”

“You dream about me, Harry?” Louis spoke with a wink.

“....No,” Harry whispered as his face turned crimson.

Louis ruffled his hair. “Don’t be shy. It’s your dreams, do with them what you want. Don’t be ashamed; you cannot help it.”

Harry moved his head up and they both just looked at each other. They leaned in and for once in their existence, their lips connected with someone they truly cared about. They both pulled away, and Harry smiled. He smiled because he truly believed that Louis loved him. He truly believed that once in his lifetime, someone actually cared about him.

Louis dragged his thumb over Harry’s now swollen lips, “Harry, you are something.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Good something or bad something?” He looked at Louis with pleading eyes.

“Good something, of course it would be a good something.”

“You’re a good something as well, Louis.” Louis beamed and he connected their lips once more in a nice slow kiss.

And for once, someone actually cared about Harry.

**

There was finally a day where Harry was the one not in the apartment. He had to go to his appointment with his psychologist. It wasn’t his idea. 

Louis was finally able to think freely about the whole situation with Harry. It had been a few months since Harry had let Louis stay the night, and well, he never asked him to leave so it wasn’t like he was overstaying. 

You could say that Louis was a lot like Harry, because well, he was. He was also a sufferer of depression, just not as severe as Harry. He made himself happy by helping others, by helping those who need someone there for them. Someone like Harry. 

Louis’ depression was brought on by an abusive childhood; his father wasn’t a pleasant person to be around, especially when he was drunk. And then there was also the torment received from the countless bullies throughout his whole high school career. It wasn’t his fault that his parents never bought him new clothes and he wore the same thing every couple days (they were washed, though.) His sexual orientation played a large role as well. Coming out as gay when he was only fourteen was huge, and not many people liked it. They all claimed that it was just an act, a phase is what his psychologist told his parents, but it wasn’t. It was who he was, it was who he wanted to be.

The tormenting became a daily thing when it came to his life. Then the alcoholic abuse from his father was just the icing to the cake. And well, his mother didn’t care.

It resulted in actually bringing a blade to his skin, and that was when he finally felt relief. He felt the pain of yesterday, and everyday before that leave his body through the little droplets of blood that cascaded down his arms and legs. It wasn’t that bad, right? Well, it wasn’t until one day.

He knew it was going to happen, he just knew it, but he wasn’t ready for it. He strolled into school, well not really, and he immediately heard the laughter following him. He looked around and he wanted to know why, why was everyone laughing? Was there something on his face, his back, his bum? But there was nothing, so what could they be laughing about?

As soon as he turned the corner, he knew, he knew what they were laughing about. They found out, they found out about his secret.

All over the walls were photos, photos of his scars, his bruises and just everything they could have found incriminating about him. The laughter, it pierced through him like bullets penetrating his skin, and he didn’t like it. The laughter kept echoing through his mind as he ran, he just ran until his body couldn’t go anymore. He wanted everything to just stop, he wanted it all to go away. He made it to his house in record time. No one was home and he was happy about that. 

He thought and thought about what he wanted to do. He ran up the stairs and locked himself into his connected bathroom. He slid to the floor as the tears were cascading down his face; he just wanted it all to end. He wanted the pain to go away.

He found the one thing that he needed, the one thing that helped him with the pain, the one thing he regretted doing in the span of his life. But once he started, it became an addiction that he couldn’t get rid of. 

He stared at the blade for a few more minutes, but as soon as he went to dig it into his skin, he couldn’t. He pictured in his mind slicing his arm right along the vein and how he could just end it. He just couldn’t go through with it. He wanted to, he really wanted to just end his life right there. He dropped the blade and wrapped his arms around his knees as he rocked back and forth on the floor of the bathroom. 

After about ten minutes of his constant cries and rocking, he got a good idea that would benefit everyone. He started to pack up his things and he left, he just left and didn’t look back. And then that was how he ended up with Harry. 

He knew with just one look at the other boy what he was going through; he knew he was suffering, he knew he needed help. So, that’s what Louis did. To help himself, he was going to help Harry.

**

When Harry walked through the door, he noticed Louis fast asleep on the couch, and as he got closer to him he saw the evident tear tracks on his face. His eyebrows furrowed and he wondered what he could have gotten upset about. He shook his head to get rid of the thought and kicked off his shoes. He took a look at Louis once more before he slipped in behind him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around Louis and for once, he was happy with how his life could possibly turn out.

He heard Louis whine in his sleep and Harry just raised his eyebrows, waiting to see what would happen. But nothing else came out of Louis’ mouth, so he relaxed and molded himself into the back of the couch.

Right before Harry slipped into a well needed sleep, Louis turned his body and softly kissed Harry’s lips before snuggling into his chest, falling right back asleep. Harry smiled and placed his chin on top of Louis’ head. And well, if he did dream about he and Louis, it was bound to happen.

**

The one thing about Louis and Harry’s relationship was that Louis didn’t know the extent of Harry’s depression. He didn’t know that it was literally killing him inside and the was no one who could really do anything about it.

He didn’t know that the nights that Harry disappeared into his room were because he would to drink and drink until he passed out. He didn’t like doing it, but it was the only thing that helped, the only thing he could do to help take the pain away. He didn’t like sharp objects or fire, so he could never self harm himself, he just couldn’t. So, drinking and drinking is the way to go. Well, in Harry’s book it was.

Harry sat at the edge of his bed, bottle in hand as he swayed back and forth. He had a drunken smile on his face as he recalled everything that had happened in the past few months with Louis. He was just about to get up and leave his room, but something stopped him, something inside him told him no, so he stayed there. Even when Louis knocked on his door telling him goodnight, he didn’t reply. Louis took that as he was already asleep, but he wasn’t.

Once Louis ventured into his room, he laid silently on the bed and stared at the ceiling. His wrists were itching with anticipation, and he needed to fall asleep before he could succumb to the want, the need.

He rolled over and closed his eyes, but once he was just about to fall asleep, his room was lit up from a stroke of lightning, followed by a roll of thunder. He hated storms; he didn’t like the noise that they held. He always would end up like a zombie in the morning because he just couldn’t sleep. So, after ten minutes of the constant noises, he ventured to Harry’s room, a place he’d never been to.

He knocked on the door loudly. “Harry, I can’t sleep, can I sleep with you?” He heard the rustling of sheets and some whispers. Harry opened the door and the light in the hallway basically blinded him.

It had been about two hours since Louis had said goodnight, and Harry had had a little bit of a nap, so he had sobered up just a bit. But the alcohol smell on his breath would be evident if Louis were to kiss him.

“What’s wrong, Lou?” Harry asked as he led him into his room and he excused himself to the bathroom. He quickly brushed his teeth before returning to let Louis answer his question.

“I don’t like thunderstorms; they are too loud.” Harry slipped into the bed next to Louis. They faced each other and they were close enough to where their noses touched slightly.

Louis moved closer and put one of his legs in between Harry’s; not too close to Harry’s area, but close enough to feel the heat radiating off of it.

Louis brought down his hand and intertwined it with Harry’s; he squeezed it slightly before he took the chance to press his lips to Harry’s. They start to move their lips against each other, and Louis pressed his tongue against Harry’s bottom lip, letting it slip through as Harry opened his mouth slightly. Harry let Louis lick around his mouth a bit before he wanted to take control of the situation. Harry entered Louis’ mouth and he instantly tasted the sweetness of his favorite tea and chocolate. He loved the taste that Louis had to offer, but he wondered what he had tasted like, probably mint since he had just brushed his teeth.

Louis was the first to break away, he softly pecked Harry’s lips a few more times before they both had to catch their breath. Their pupils were blown out slightly, and they both couldn’t be happier.

They kept staring at each other, until a loud roll of thunder broke them out of their trance and Lou whimpered slightly. He cuddled into Harry’s chest as Harry rubbed his back softly and felt his breathing even out.

And if this wasn’t part of Louis’ plan to help Harry, then we’ll just let this one slide-- after they continue on with their snogging session for the rest of the night.

**

After all this time, you would think that everything in Harry’s life had changed, but it was far from. He still got those suicidal tendencies, like always, but he didn’t dare tell Louis. Louis still didn’t even know about how he came about with what was happening in his life. Likewise, Harry didn’t know Louis’ story yet. He didn’t even know that Louis was depressed, because well, he didn’t show it.

“Lou?” Harry poked at Louis’ face as he tried to wake him up.

“What?” Louis spoke as he nuzzled his face into Harry’s chest.

“Can you move off of me, I need to pee and your knee is pushing into my bladder.”

“Oops, sorry.” Louis rolled over and Harry quickly got up to relieve himself. He rolled over onto his stomach and cuddled into the pillow. As he was ready to slip back to sleep, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a pair of lips softly pressing onto the back of his neck. He smiled slightly and turned his head to face Harry. He pecked his lips and closed his eyes, dreaming of what could be.

“No...no...stop...dad...please!” Harry started to thrash in his sleep and it was starting to freak out Louis. He had woken up with Harry kicking and screaming. He needed to get him to stop, but it just wasn’t happening. Harry simply wouldn’t calm down and Louis didn’t know what to do.  Louis decided at the last minute to grab Harry’s arms and straddle his hips. 

“Harry, love, wake up,” Louis spoke calmly as he held down Harry. After a few more times of him calmly talking, Harry opened his eyes and immediately started crying. He was in hysterics and Louis was there with him every step of the way.

Louis was still straddling Harry’s hips after he got him to stop crying. He moved the wrong way and it affected Harry in a way that made him utter out a moan. Louis felt Harry harden under him and his face went crimson.

“Umm...sorry.” Louis was about to move off of him when Harry grabbed his face and connected their lips in a heated kiss. Louis immediately allowed him entrance as they both moved their tongues around each other, the kiss was more tongue and spit than anything else. Harry arched his back and their arousals rubbed against each other. Louis whined in Harry’s mouth and they broke the kiss only to shed each other of their clothes. They were soon bare and just staring at each other as they caught their breath.

That night, Harry gave something to Louis that no one ever had before; he gave him the love and protection that one and only one person can. The love that was shown as he slowly thrusted inside of Louis at a slow and constant speed, and the affection spoken through the kind and soft words that were spoken right into Louis’ ear.

Harry was in love, and he didn’t know how to show it, so he did it the only way he could. The look he gave Louis as he first penetrated his walls showed much more than ever before.

**

Louis turned his head and locked eyes with Harry. Harry was smiling proudly, and Louis was happy that Harry was happy. He’d never been this happy before and it was the best thing in the world. The weight on his chest, it was a wonderful feeling.

Louis intertwined their fingers together and asked the one thing that he had wanted to for a long time. “Harry, I’m curious, what happened?” Harry stiffened, but didn’t let go of Louis’ hand. In fact, he only gripped it tighter.

“What do you mean?”

“I want to know your life story, what happened to make you the person you are today,” Louis spoke. A few tears trickled down Harry’s face and he was there to quickly wipe them away.

“It’s too much, it’s too much…” Harry let go of Louis’ hand and charged to the bathroom. The tears were flowing freely down his face and Louis didn’t move. He needed to get Harry to this state, he needed him to just cry everything out, it was good to cry.

After a few more minutes, Louis got off the bed and walked over to Harry. He was on the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. Tears were still spilling down his face and he was just staring at the wall. Louis got down to his level and grabbed his face, “Harry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to; I was just curious.”

Harry shakes his head, “No, I need to tell you; if we’re going to be serious with this relationship, there needs to be no secrets.”

“Then let’s get a cuppa and we will cuddle, then take it slow with the explanation,” Louis spoke softly and kissed Harry’s forehead before he got him off the floor and onto the bed.

Louis returned with the tea and some cookies and he set them on the table by the bed before getting into the bed. Harry curled himself next to Louis and placed his head on his chest.

“My childhood wasn’t the best; my parents weren’t ever there for me. My sister didn’t like me, my older brother didn’t even acknowledge my existence until he went off to Afghanistan. He never liked me, made my life a living hell, but once he went away to the army, he finally knew what he was doing to me. He literally broke down in front me and called himself all these names, and I didn’t know what to do. Then we got closer to each other, more than ever, and he would protect me, protect me from my father.”

“My father wasn’t the best person in the world, he made my life a living hell. He was always drunk and abusing me. My mother didn’t care about what he would do to me. My sister would laugh when he would hit me because he never hit his little girl. My family never liked me because I was a surprise, I made it so my mom couldn’t have anymore kids, so they hated me for that. They called me a disgrace and an abomination; they never wanted me. They only kept me because of the money from the government since neither of my parents had a job, and my dad was an army veteran.”

Harry was just staring at the wall ahead of him as he spoke to Louis. “But then my brother got deployed. My family was upset, but I was the worst. My father told me to suck it up and he slapped me in the face as I cried hysterically. My brother held me until he needed to go and the last words he spoke to me were, “Don’t let them get to you, you’re stronger than them. I love you bud.”

“What do you mean, last words?”

“About a month after he was deployed, he got caught in a cross fire. He was killed instantly.”

“I’m so sorry, Harry.” Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed it slightly.

“After that, my world shattered. My father got worse and my mother was never out of her room. My sister moved out for college, so it was just my father interacting with me. It got to the point where he would always stare at me while I was sleeping.”

“Please don’t tell me...” Louis said and Harry just nodded slightly as the tears cascaded once more down his face.

“One night he came in, and he made me do so much to him...it was horrible, and it felt like he tore me in so many ways. The feeling that I had for the next few days haunted me for the rest of the year. The abuse continued until he got arrested for stealing alcohol, but after that my mother  kicked me out of the house. I found this family who took me in and they noticed so many things off about me, but they never commented on it. They only held me when I cried or when I woke them up kicking and screaming in my sleep. Eventually, they were the ones who took me to the psychologist and that’s where I was diagnosed with severe depression, severe anxiety and slight bipolar disorder. Everything was brought on from childhood traumatic events.”

“I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that. But why don’t you have an outburst?”

“It’s not your fault, don’t worry. And it’s because I got used to not being around anyone, so I stayed calm. My psychologist took me off the meds when I hadn’t had an outburst in over a year.” He sighed and Louis nodded, letting him continue.

“But everything got worse when the family I was living with was killed in a car crash. They were all killed instantly, and I lost everything at that point. The police had found a last will and testament of the couple; they were an older couple and they left everything to me. They didn’t have any children, and I was the closest they had. They left all their money, even the house we’re in right now. If it wasn’t for them I don’t know where I’d be; I owe everything to them.”

“Wow, I didn’t think the story would be this heartbreaking. I’m sorry that there was no one; I’m sorry that I couldn’t have been there for you. I’m sorry.”

“No, Louis, you didn’t know, you didn’t know who I was. There is no need to be sorry; there is no need for you to say that,” Harry spoke and he softly kissed Louis.  

“So is there anything I should know about? Any of your deep dark secrets?” Harry spoke and Louis just shook his head.

“Nope, nothing.”

And that was the first time that Louis lied to Harry, he hated it but he didn’t want Harry to have to worry about him. He wanted his happiness to flourish, not plummet.

**

Once Harry told Louis why he became like this, everything changed, and Harry wasn’t liking it. He felt trapped; everywhere he went, Louis was right behind him. He didn’t want it like this; he loved what Louis was doing to help him, but he wanted his freedom.

It had been exactly three days and it had been torture in Harry’s eyes. He couldn’t even go to the bathroom without having Louis right behind him and waiting for him to finish. Harry was going crazy, so he waited for Louis to go to the bathroom and he locked the door to his room.

He laid back and sighed deeply. He looked to where his stash was, and there wasn’t anything there. He could have sworn that there was still at least one bottle left, but where was it? He looked all around the room and he couldn’t find it. His head snapped up at the knock that rippled through his ears.

“Harry? You okay?” Louis sounded concerned, and then it hit him, he probably knew where it went.

He walked over and opened the door, “Lou, were you in my room?”

“Yes.”

“Did you take anything out of my room?”

“Yes, yes I did.”

“And why did you take said item out of the room?”

“Because I have had to deal with an alcoholic abusive father my whole life; I didn’t want it to happen. I don’t need anyone else to hurt me. I’m sorry.” Tears were flooding his face and he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. Harry’s heart broke and he was speechless.

He took Louis into his arms and let him cry, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s part of my life that I don’t want to remember. One day, one of these days I will tell you and show you everything there is to know about me. But now it’s time for you to get better, time for you to realize what life is like being happy.”

And that was the day that Harry’s heart broke, broke into a million pieces. But it broke not for being sad, but for the fact that Louis would give up everything that could help himself to help Harry. Harry smiled down at Louis and kissed his lips with every feeling that was coursing through his veins at that very moment.

And well, if they ended up under the covers after a slow love making, then it would be just between their eyes and their eyes only.

**