sonder

• the realisation that each passerby has a life as video and complex as your own.

• • •

I left S.H.I.E.L.D. a little after Rumlow called to tell me that he'd lost Rogers yet again. I yelled at him for a minute or two before just completely hanging up. I didn't want to deal with it at that moment, so I grabbed my phone and left, ignoring the calls behind me.

Once I was behind the wheel of my car, I rested my head and hands on the leather. I was tired. Hydra was making too many decisions too quickly and it was getting harder and harder to keep track and take care of situations. In the span of a few days we'd assassinated Nick Fury, who was proclaimed dead a few hours after his arrival at the hospital after the Soldier shot him at Captain America's apartment, brought more Hydra agents into the S.H.I.E.L.D., awoken The Winter Soldier, who is the most feared and deadly assassin the world has ever seen, and, shot up a whole bunch of people in the first attempt to assassinate Fury.

I turned on the car, turning the key rather aggressively. The engine roared to life and I drove back to the hospital. It took a little longer than expected but that was okay. It gave me time to think. To sort through my thoughts.

I parked and made my way back to Maya's room. I know it had only been a few hours but I had nothing better to do, so I thought I may as well go and see her. I reached her door and pushed it open, smiling at her from the doorway. She was snacking on the biscuits I'd brought her.

"Hey," I said softly, moving to sit down.

"Hello," she said happily. "You know, when I said you should come back soon, I didn't mean, like, two hours later," she chuckled.

"I know," I laughed. "But I finished work early and figured what the hell," I scratched the top of my head, smiling awkwardly.

She nodded and licked the crumbs from her fingers.

"I take it you like the biscuits," I said, looking at the almost empty packet. She nodded, grinning.

"They were great, thank you."

I laughed. It was good to laugh. I hadn't really had a friend, or had much fun in my years at Hydra. My life revolved around the organisation. I didn't really have much time for anything else... but being here, with Maya, it was fun. Hydra and I may be responsible for her injuries, and sure, it made me feel absolutely terrible, but I couldn't help but be grateful that she was here and that I was talking to her. I hadn't even known her for more than a day and yet I already felt a strong sense of connection to her. Perks of finally getting to know someone after having no friends for a few years, I guess.

"Has your family come to see you yet?" I asked, getting more comfortable in the plastic seat. She shook her head.

"They live in India," she explained. "I have no family here... and I haven't told anyone yet."

"Why not?"

"They'd be out here on the next flight. We don't have the money for that. I'm doing them a favour, really," she chuckled. I pressed my lips into a thin line.

"They should probably know," I said tentatively, not wanting to push my bounds.

"I know," she sighed, "but I don't want to worry them. I'll tell them eventually, just not now."

I nodded, knowing the feeling. What was left of my family were under the impression I was in England, at a prestigious university. Not working for an illegal organisation.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" She asked, waggling her eyebrows. I laughed and shook my head.

"Afraid not, no... What about you? Do you have someone special?" I asked, smiling at her.

"I did, back in India... but we broke it off once I left," she said quietly. My smile dropped a little sympathetically.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," I said. She shook her head.

"Ah, it's okay. It wasn't a long term arrangement. We both knew that when we started."

We sat in silence. The only sounds were the constant beeping of the heart monitor and the conversations outside of Maya's room. After a while we began to make idle conversation. We talked about our favourite colours, animals, foods and other generic stuff. It was good. It was good to talk about something other than Hydra and our plans. Even if it was only about the most basic topics. Being a well-known agent didn't leave much room to talk about much else except my next mission.

"So, where do you work?" She asked, sitting up a little straighter. My eyes widened a little before I hastily put my normal expression back on. I hoped she didn't notice.

"Where do I work?" I stuttered out. She nodded. "I, uh, I work at the library," I said. The library was the first thing that came to mind. I bit the inside of my lip. She couldn't find out who I was. Not now, not ever.

"Oh, how come I've never seen you around before?" She asked, confusion creasing her brow for a moment.

"I work after hours," I said hastily.

"But you said you had to go and do something for work earlier," she said, brow creasing further.

"I work two jobs. One at the library and the other in the Government." It wasn't a total lie. Not really. She nodded, seemingly happy with my answer. I let out a small breath in relief. Crisis averted.

"Oh, hey," she said sarcastically. "It's almost dinner time!" She grimaced, shuddering at the thought of the hospital food she would be forced to eat during her recovery. I laughed, much to her annoyance.

"It's not funny, okay. That shit's gross, man," she said, trying not to laugh with me. I could see a grin appearing at the corners of her mouth. I calmed down a little, my laugh dying down to a chuckle.

"What time is it?" I asked out of curiosity. I didn't think I had been here for that long.

"Almost seven," she said. "I ask for my dinner late. I've always had dinner later than usual. It used to drive my parents nuts."

"Ah, right," I chuckled. "Well, as fun as this has been, I must be off," I said, standing up and stretching my back. She nodded and looked to the door as a nurse appeared with her dinner. I picked up my phone, bid her goodbye, and laughed as I saw her look at the food as the nurse left.

"By-" Maya stopped her sentence. "What is your name?"

"My name is Gina, but my friends call me Miles," I answered. She nodded, pushing some stray hairs behind her ear.

"Alright, well, see you later then, Gina!"

"Miles, please," I insisted. She smiled and nodded again, causing the hair to fall in front of her face again.

"Bye Maya," I waved, pulling the door closed behind me.

I made my way back to the car with a pep in my step. I had a friend. Mind you, the circumstances were strange and we hadn't known each other very long but hey, what the hell. You only get one chance at life, right? I smiled, unlocking my car. I sat in the drivers seat but before I could put the keys in the ignition, the loud ring of my phone started shrieking, practically giving me a heart attack in the process.

I picked it up and aggressively accepted the call, not bothering to see who was on the other end of the line.

"What?! You almost gave me a heart attack," I hissed into the receiver. There was no reply for a moment and I looked at the caller I.D.. 'Rumlow,' I read.

"They got away," came the eventual reply. I was confused for a second. Who got away? Oh. Oh! Rogers! Rogers got away.

"Damnit, Rumlow. Did you let them get away just because you knew that I'd be the one that has to tell Pierce?" I asked. There was a heavy, irritated sigh on the other end.

"Wait," I cut off whatever he was about to say. "Did you say 'they'? As in, Rogers wasn't alone?"

"Yes."

"Who's with him?" I hissed, fumbling with the keys, the phone pressed on my shoulder to my ear.

"Romanoff," he said. I sighed. This was just great. Not only was the great Captain America missing and a fugitive, but so was Black Widow. Could my week get any worse?

"Right, okay. Thanks. This is just great," I sighed, rubbing my hand against my forehead tiredly. He was silent on the other line. For an asshole who likes to give orders and talk over everyone, he sure was broody over the phone.

"Okay," I said again. Thinking over everything that needed to happen now. "I'll tell Pierce. You just find them," I said, twisting the key. The engine roared to life and I sighed.

"Will do," he said, ending the call with a click. I took the phone away from my ear and let out an inhumane growl crossed with a scream. I kicked and slapped at the steering wheel in my frustration. After a few minutes of heavy breathing and calming exercises, I managed to get myself under control.

I picked up my phone and dialled Alexanders phone number. I put it onto speaker and then pulled out of the carpark. It was well and truly dark now and I looked at the dash to see that it was almost nine. How long had I been trying to calm myself down for?! The phone rang a few more times before he picked up.

"Miles, what do you want?" He asked casually. I sighed.

"I've got news from Rumlow," I said slowly, waiting hesitantly for his reply.

"Why does it sound like I'm not going to like what you have to say?" He asked. I could hear his frustration through the line.

"He says that Rogers and Romanoff have both managed to somehow escape his clutches."

It was quiet for a second and then he started speaking again. At first I thought he was talking to me but then I realised he was talking to someone else who was with him.

"Looks like you have a new mission, Soldier." Ah, so that was where the Soldier was. I'd been wondering. I kept quiet, knowing that I would almost certainly be reprimanded for interrupting him. "You have two targets, level six," he said. "Steven Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. Any information you need will be provided for you." I took a left at the next set of lights.

"I want confirmed death in twenty-four hours," he ordered. There was no reply. Oh, good. So he wasn't completely silent just around me then. That's good to know.

"Sor- for-ot -y -phone," I heard on the other end. Someone else must be there. It sounded like a woman. She had an accent that I couldn't quite make out from this end. Perhaps she wasn't near the phone.

"Oh, Renata," I heard Alexander sigh. "I really wish you could have knocked."

Suddenly there were three loud shots and I jumped, almost swerving into the opposite line of traffic.

"Shit!" I shouted, steadying myself. I heard him chuckle on the other line.

"Did I frighten you? Sorry," he said unapologetically. I pressed my lips into a firm line and ignored his jibe. I pointedly didn't look at the unhappy honks from the cars behind me either.

"So, what is your mission?" Alexander asked the Soldier. I really wish he had another name.

"Exterminate Steven Rogers and Natasha Romanoff," came his emotionless reply.

"Right. Yes! Don't fail me again," he said threateningly. "Oh, and Miles will be going with you," he added as an afterthought.

"Yes, sir," I said, focussing on my driving.

"Twenty four hours," he said before hanging up. I sighed tiredly and drove the rest of the way home in silence.

Updated on the 24th of August, 2016.