The morning after was the worst.

I woke to a stabbing hangover and dried blood under my nails. After Cole had broken down and Madam Pomfrey order us all out of the hospital wing, we all got terribly drunk on bottles of firewhisky that Ben stole from the kitchens for us.

We'd all been awake until three in the morning, making ridiculous toasts to Dumbledore and Sam (The best toast to Sam being Alia's toast--'To Sam, the hottest lesbian we ever knew or will ever know.') and whispering memories and stories until everybody passed out from exhauastion.

The dorm had an odd silence to it, the other girls keeping their distance as they did their hair for the funeral. All lessons were cancelled, exams postponed and we were all being sent home for the summer.

Pretty much all of the students were attending Dumbledore's funeral before the train home--though several people had left before the funeral, sheparded home by parents. The Patil twins were taken home mere hours after Dumbledore's death, Ben reluctantly went with his Auntie (after telling us where all of his alcohol was stashed).

However, only a handful of us would be attending a private funeral for Sam. It was a relief, as I'm sure Sam would rather a few people who cared about her than hundreds who pretended they knew her.

"Gennie," I lightly proded her, "Come on, you both have to get up."

"Two funerals in one day, it sounds like the start of a bad joke." Gennie said emotionessly, prising herself out of Cole's grip. He'd snuck up to our dorms after we all got pissed, and had hardly spoken since. He made little snuffling noises into the covers as Gennie left. "Come on, sweetie, you have to get up."

Cole mumbled something and pulled the covers over his head. 

Gennie gave me an exhausted look and headed into the bathroom with a box of hair dye. As she busied herself with hair colouring I dressed for the funerals (Sam's would be directly after Dumbledore's).

I'd re-sized one of Alia's many dresses, a ruffled black number which came a couple inches above the knees. Wearing a lot of waterproof mascara and eyeliner with high black heels, I figured Sam would approve. If it was short and dark, it was a perfect outfit to Sam.

"I feel like my head's been split open." Cole grumbled, finally rising from Gennie's bed. His hair was unruly and un-straightened, eyes red and puffy.

"That's probably how Harry feels every day." I said dryly, slipping my wand into the holder on my thigh.

"Funny." Cole said, though he wasn't smiling. He pulled on one of Gennie's second-hand black jumpers and proceeded to put on black converse and jeans. He touched at the heel of the shoe, which had a small star drawn on it. "She bought me these for my thirteenth birthday... Doodled on it as well, telling me to wear them for special occasions."

I said nothing. "This is the second funeral I've got to for one of my best friends.... And there was me thinking six years ago I'd be the first one in the grave..." I gave Cole an alarming look, but he reached out and pat my leg. "Don't worry, I'm not going over the edge again, I just... I can't believe this."

"It's all pretty unreal." I said, feeling the bile from my hangover travel up my throat.

"Why didn't she want me to know?" Cole said, his voice breaking. 

"She figured you were so happy with yourself it would ruin you..." I said softly, sitting on the bed next to him. I picked up Cole's hand and squeezed it. "For the record though, I wanted to tell you."

"Well I'm in a better place now, I'm not going to go nuclear. I mean I still wish I couldn't feel any of this pain or grief and all I want is to see my Sammy again, but... It is what it is."

"And whatever it is, I really want to tell it how much of a bitch it is." Gennie said softly from the bathroom door. She was dressed all in black, the streaks in her hair standing out--but for different reason. The pink and blue was gone, the edges of Gennie's hair were a vibrant green.

She sat down next to the two of us, grabbing our hands., ignoring the confused looks Cole and I gave her. She'd had pink and blue streaks since I'd known her, why did she suddenly switch to green?

"We will get through this. It hurts like hell that we lost her, but we will get through this." Gennie said, determined.

Cole snorted. "And to think two years ago you two hated her guts and she hated yours.... How things change."

* * * 

Breakfast was a silent affair, Dumbledore's chair left empty and nobody eating very much. Harry was in pieces over Dumbledore, but nothing could seem to shake him out of the sadness, not even Ginny who kept looking anxiously at her boyfriend.

I couldn't help notice Crabbe and Goyle over at Slytherin, looking lost without Draco wedged in-between them. In the midst of my raw grief for Sam I hadn't passed much thought on Draco, but my mind still wandered to him in the lonely hours of the night.

He hadn't killed Dumbledore, so what had happened to him? Had Voldemort killed him and his parents? The thought of him dead with blank grey eyes was a thought too terrifying to face so I kept glancing over his letter, the words warming my insides.

That is why I love you so damn much, you still find ways to love me, when even I can't love myself.

"It is nearly time," McGonagall said abruptly, and I tucked the letter into my skirt pocket. "Please follow your Heads of House out into the grounds. Gryffindors, after me."

I followed my brother and Ginny out of the hall, preparing for the lesser painful funeral. While I missed Dumbledore like so many others, I wasn't in as much pain. I didn't know him like I knew Sam--he was merely a voice of reason, a grandfather to look to.

There were so many people outside, already seated. I spotted Remus and Tonks, hand-in-hand, sat by Mr and Mrs Weasley and Fleur, who were supporting Bill.

Further down I spotted Cole's mother sat with a weak-looking Arthur and a tall boy with bright green hair clutching a baby. And I heard a small whimper, and I noticed Fred and Hollie, sat next to Lacey and George who were clutching a small bundle that was crying quietly.

Lacey gave me a tired smile as I passed her, mouthing 'Later' as she tried to quieten her newborn daughter. With a small feeling of happiness at the sight of my niece, I took a seat in-between my brother and Gennie.

There were so many people filing into the hundreds of seats set out--Kingsley, Mad-Eye Moody, Madam Maxime--who took up two seats--Alia and Colin hand-in-hand, Luna and Camille who were helping Neville into a seat; and even the odder guests like Rita Skeeter and even Umbridge was spotted at the back.

"Look in there," Gennie murmered to me, pointing at the lake.

A chorus of merpeople were singing in a strange language I did not understand, the music making my hair stand up. It was as haunting as the phoenix song, yet didn't make me sad, just nostaligc as they spoke over the loss of Dumbledore.

"Oh God... I'm going to be sick." I heard Gennie mutter.

Hagrid was walking slowly up the aisle between the chairs. He was crying quite silently, his face gleaming with tears, and in his arms, wrapped in purple velvet spangled with golden stars--Dumbledore.

The sight of Dumbledore's body left a stab of ice in my heart, yet I couldn't bring myself to cry as Ginny, Hermione and Gennie snuffled around me. I wondered if I'd gone through so much pain I'd lost the ability to cry.

A little tufty-haired man in plain black robes had got to his feet and stood now in front of Dumbledore's body.

He was muttering a bunch of rubbish phrases: Nobility of spirit, intellectual contribution, greatness of heart... It wasn't Dumbledore at all, he would simply declare some nonsense words or have a twinkling smile that said far more than words ever could.

I thought of Dumbledore's soft smile almost four years ago as he asked me: Had anything happened like this before? I glanced around to see Hollie sniffling, and I remembered little seven year old Hollie clutching Minnie telling me: Mum and Dad are in the living room with a weird guy, they all want to speak with you.

But in fact, he wasn't a weird guy, he was the incredible sorcerer who had brought me into this world. With a start, I reliased that without Dumbledore I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have met Harry, my sarcastic and slow brother, or my colourful haired godsister, or Cole, broken and brighter than most.

I wouldn't have even met Arthur or Draco, I would have simply been Aurora Lily Oswin--that girl who hung around with Kayley Hopkirk who bunked off school and wanted to be an artist.

"Shh, baby, shh..." I heard Lacey murmer to her daughter as the speech carried on, and I glanced back to see her kiss the baby's forehead and George looking at them both lovingly as he wrapped an arm around Lacey.

I thought of Lacey, how almost four years ago she was filled with hate for the world and love as she fell in the wrong crowd with weed and cigarettes, screaming at me: You freak! I'm glad you aren't my sister!  as she bad-mouthed magic, thinking it all evil.

And now here she was: happily with a wizard boyfriend and a child, filled with all the love she had starved herself from when she saw the darkness of the world.

A smile twitched onto my face, as flames erupted around Dumbledore's body, swear words tumbling out of my mouth. The flames rose higher and higher into strange shapes--and for a moment I swore I saw the shape of a phoenix leap from the flames. But then it vanished, a white tomb in it's place.

There were a few more cries of shock as a shower of arrows soared through the air, but they fell far short of the crowd. It was, the centaur's and their final message of respect for the man who never disturbed their peace in the forest.

And then it was over, and everybody began packing up and leaving, ready to board the train home. But only about twenty of us remained, ready to see Sam off into the next world.

The green haired boy from before got up with Elena, handing the baby over to Arthur. He muttered something to him, before the boy and Elena hurried off into the woods.

Arthur approached me with a weak smile. "Mind if we talk quick before the funeral starts?"

"Sure." I said, forcing a smile. "You okay now?"

Bandages were severely wrapped around the remaining parts of Arthur's ear and his neck and collarbones, his skin looking sickly pain. "I'll live." He said with a weak smile.

Arthur led me over to the willow tree I loved, holding the baby on his hip. It was a boy, about six months old with big blue eyes and a mop of brown hair. With a shock, I realised they were the same eyes as Sam's.

"It's not hers, is it?" I asked with shock.

"No, no. It's her nephew, Louis." Arthur said, ruffling the baby's hair. "That green haired guy is her older brother--Nathan--with Elena. He flew in from Bulgaria to help set it all up."

"I didn't know she had a brother."

Arthur shrugged. "They were close, but their parents didn't... approve of his choices in life so they put him in an arranged marriage and sent him away a few years back. It's quite sad though, he's twenty, and both a widow and a father already."

"Right." I said, folding my arms and trying to avoid Louis' eyes which were so like his Aunt's. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I'll put this as simple as I can make it. I'm letting you go."

"What?"

Arthur flushed pink. "Well, um, I'm breaking up with you?"

I blinked a few times. "But you were the one who wanted to keep things going even though I couldn't give you the words you wanted to hear..."

Just hear me out, Rory, I'm not trying to hurt you." Arthur gave me a pleading look. "I really love you and I would do anything for you. And the whole reason I told you what I did over Christmas was because I thought you were done with Malfoy, that one day you could move on... Find somebody new. But as time went on, it became clearer that you still loved him, despite what he'd done... And then he tells you he always loved you, and where does that put me?"

"Arthur..."

"I get it, I really do." Arthur said with a watery smile. "You really liked me because I helped you in the summer, I made you feel like you again. I was your cure to heartbreak, your crutch. But you just wanted validation that somebody loved you, you didn't really love me in the way you love him."

Floored by his words I just murmered, "I wanted to love you, Arthur but he was always there, confusing me... And then he sent me this letter..."

I passed him the letter, and Arthur read it with a sad smile. "You love him, and he loves you. It's like your both tidal currents, always being pulled to each other, no matter what... And I'm not going to be that bitchy guy who keeps apart two people who clearly still love each other."

"But... You love me." I said. "You said yourself, you loved me for almost three years, how could you let me go so easily?"

Arthur gave me one of his sunshine-smiles. "Like I said, Malfoy and I have a lot in common. We both want you happy. And if you chasing after him makes you happy, who am I to stop you? I'm letting you have the choice to go after him, Rory and--"

"And everyone deserves a choice..." I finished, my eyes filling up with tears. I flung myself onto Arthur, gripping onto him in a tight hug, trying not to squish Louis in the process. "Oh Arthur, you were always too good for me, and I'm an idiot for not giving you the love you deserve."

"I'll do what I always do, I survive." Arthur said tiredly. "But don't think because we're not dating I won't constantly plauge you with pokemon cards when you have your breaks from saving the world."

"I'd be shocked if you didn't." I smiled. "And of course, as soon as they announce a Lord of the Rings film--"

"--We'll go to the Midnight premier, full cosplay--me as Frodo, you as Eowyn." Arthur finished.

"Oh God, you got another person hooked on that hobbit thing." An accented voice said from behind. Nathan Lockwood had appeared, looking exhausted. 

I could see he was related to Sam--in his bright blue eyes and stubby fingers. Though he was a good foot and a half taller than his sister, with his neon green hair and finger tatoos of crosses and anchors.

"Actually Nate, she was born and raised on Tolkien." Arthur said sassily. "Only losers don't accept Middle Earth into their lives."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "I suppose I'm your loser then, Art. Now give me back my son." He took Louis from Arthur, who began gurgling and pulling at his father's hair. "All is ready in the forest, we must begin now."

I followed Arthur and Nate down the path to the forest, listening as they playfully bickered about hobbits and bands. "Why the green hair?" I asked Nate abruptly.

He gave me a far-off smile. "It was my sister's favourite colour but my least favourite.... I thought the shock might rise her from the grave, but it hasn't happened yet."

We reached a clearing on the outskirts of the forest, where everybody was waiting. Not many people had stayed behind for Sam--it was mostly Cole and his family, and all of Sam's friends, and weirdly enough, Sam's ex girlfriend Mira.

A hole was dug in the ground next to a quickly erected gravestone, and if I craned my neck I could see Sam, wrapped up in a linen sheet, ready for her final rest.

I slipped into place with Arthur next to Cole, who's leg was shaking like crazy from nerves. Nathan stood by the grave with a solemn expression, staring around at everybody.

"I doubt many of you know me, but I'm Nathan Lockwood, Sam's elder brother. And today, we are all here to remember my little sister and the fast-paced life she lived." Nate looked down at the grave with the ghost of a smile on his lips. "I remember when she was born. I was only three years old, but I remember leaning over her crib, seeing bright blue eyes and a mop of golden hair and I swore to protect her, no matter how infuriating she got."

A few people smiled, and this seemed to fuel Nate on. "Our parents were very tough on us growing up. I was born a wizard but without much magic--I could barely levitate a feather, and didn't have enough to be accepted into Durmstrang. To my parents, I was essentially a squib."

I saw Lacey give him a sympathetic smile, and I couldn't help wonder how different things could have been if Lacey had magic.

"So they pushed my little sister to be everything I couldn't be--a brilliant witch. She was moulded into being a genius, and that had concequences--no supper until all required spells perfected, no playing outside after five. And my sister became the girl my parents wanted her to be--complacent, rude, bigoted, and yet perfect. But deep down, I knew this wasn't my real sister, that somewhere, the girl I saw in the cradle was hiding. But then, when she was eight years old, we had new neighbours--the Wilde's."

Cole and Arthur exchanged a small smile, and I knew they were thinking about the same day.

"And so Sam was introduced to Cole Wilde, a boy of her age. And I noticed how open Sam became around this shy little boy with crooked teeth. But that led to distraction from spells, so we moved again. But then Sam joined Durmstrang, and everything changed for her."

"She began making friends, and soon enough she'd found Cole again, gushing to me how fun he was. And she also spoke of a girl called Jia, proud and beautiful and soon she confessed to me in tears that she was a lesbian. I supported her, and yet she tried to deny her sexuality, even attempting a relationship with Cameron Wilde--but of course, we all know how that turned out."

Cole gave a proud smile, and I knew he was thinking about setting his brother on fire.

"But then everything changed for Sam when she was fourteen. She saw the truth of the world, how the darkness was not the right life for her, how that she knew she loved Jia Horrowitz with every fibre inside of her. So she ran from that graveyard after saving the chosen ones--giving our ungrateful mother a heart attack in the process. And then, I didn't hear from Sam until two Christmas' ago, and I met my real sister that day."

"She wasn't rude or bigoted with shiny shoes and plaits, she was witty with a tounge like a viper, with jewels in her ears, cropped hair and a smile. And that was something I never saw from my sister. She was so happy, she had found the person she wanted to be. And that was a beautiful girl with many friends and a comitted relationship with the girl she loved."

"And even though all of that was cut short last night for my little sister, I want to thank every one of you." Nate looked around us all, tears in his eyes. "You helped my sister find herself, and that is all I ever wanted for her, right from the moment I clapped eyes on her seventeen years ago."

Nate hung his head down, and so we all followed, partaking in that silence with tears in my eyes. Everything hurt so much after Nathan's speech, and all I wanted right now was Sam, to hug her and see her cheeky smile once more.

"Um, I have something to say." Gennie piped up, and she let go of Cole's hand, and stood in front of us all, piece of paper in hand. "I know there are words that my boyfriend wants to say about his best friend that he can't release from grief, but um, there's something I want to tell you all."

"Sam was not a nice person when I met her two years ago, and I think we can all admit that."

I remembered when I first met Sam I ended up screaming at her You will be the bitch I squish under my shoe and she was so stuck up that Gennie and I complained about her for days on end.

"But she grew, she changed. And she became one of my best friends, admittidley, even if she hated my hair dye. But she became a good person, and that's what she was in the end, so that's what matters. So I found this poem, which I think may fit the situation:

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no tears in a gloom-filled room,

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little – But not for long

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me – But let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It’s all a part of the Master’s plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to your friends that we know,

And bury your sorrows in doing good works,

Miss me – But let me go."

There was silence and I could feel my heart swell up with pride and emotion as Gennie finished the poem and walked back to Cole, kissing him quickly on the cheek.

"And now, it's time we put Samantha Lockwood to rest." Nate said softly, and after subtly nodding at Arthur, he waved his wand and dirt piled onto the grave, burying my best friend in the dark forever. "So long, and goodnight."

There was another silence and I saw Camille and Alia move forward to place flowers on the grave, Cole inconsolable as Gennie held onto him again.

Staring around, lost, I was relieved when Lacey and George approached me. "Hey, Auntie Rory." George said with a smile. "Thought we'd wait until after all the sad parts to introduce you to little Maia."

"Maia? That's her name?" I said softly, as Lacey pressed the tiny baby into my arms. She was so tiny and pink with a little button nose, a mop of ginger fuzzy hair covering her tiny head.

"Her full name is Maia Jenna Weasley." Lacey said, running her fingers over Maia's head. "In the end we thought not to give her mum's name... Start over fresh... Plus some variation of it means beautiful warrior, and that's what she'll be."

"She's gorgeous." I said, kissing the top of her head.

"Takes after me." Lacey and George said at the same time.

"When's the wedding?" I said jokingly.

"Bloody hell I just had a kid, are you mad?" Lacey shook her head, but clutched George's hand. "Not for a while, wouldn't want to give Molly another meltdown."

"Aurora." an unusal voice said, and I span around to see non-other than Mira, Sam's ex girlfriend stood in front of me. "Can we talk?"

I nodded, handing Maia off to my sister. "I'll see you in a bit, Lace. I'll come home with you then."

Lacey and George nodded, heading off towards Hollie and Mrs Weasley. Mira stood in front of me with a package in hands, looking awkward.

"I loved her, you know." Mira said in a distant voice. "If Cameron Wilde hadn't screwed with my mind, she probably never would have gone back to Jia."

I felt uncomfortable, remembering Cameron controlled Mira to physcially abuse Sam. But I could see the pain in her eyes, and knew what she said was true. "I did too, in a way." I explained to her. "But we have to try and let her go, like the poem said..... So, what do you want?"

"I have a package for you, from Draco Malfoy."

My heart almost stopped. "What?"

"I dropped the letter off to you yesterday, on his orders... Paid me fifty galleons for it as well. And he told me if I saw you'd read the letter, I would give you this... And I can see the broken envelope, so I assumed..."

"Yes, just give it to me." I said eagerly, taking the package from her. I ripped it open, to find a black jumper of his--my favourite one.

A post-it-note was stuck to it. I wore this jumper that night in Grimmauld Place. If you ever want to remember the better times, accept this gift. x

A lump of emotion came to my throat, and I held the jumper against me, the sweet smell of Draco wrapping itself around me. God, I missed him.

"Thank you, Mira." I said, my voice strangled. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

"You too." she said with a weak smile, and she disapeared in the direction of the castle.

I wasn't alone for long, as Harry, Ron, Hermione, Gennie and Cole approached me. The six of us stood together in silence for a moment.

"They're saying Hogwarts might be shut." Cole said quietly, his tears finally dried.

"And Hollie was meant to start this Autumn as well..." I sighed, staring over at my little sister, who looked so innocent and full of life, despite just being at two funerals.

"Maybe it won't,' said Ron. "We're not in any more danger here than we are at home, are we? Everywhere's the same now. I'd even say Hogwarts is safer, there are more wizards inside to defend the place. What d'you reckon, Harry?" 

"I'm not coming back even if it does reopen," said Harry. 

"Me neither." Cole chipped in.

"I guessed why you wouldn't Harry, but why not, Cole?" Hermione said sadly.

"I found a letter from Sam under my mattress, she's got a job for me to do." Cole said without emotion. "And I have to do it, for her."

"I'm coming too!" Gennie frowned.

"Gen--"

"Don't you Gen me!" Gennie said hotly. "I've been through the darkest of times with you Cole, do you really think I'd leave you at the last hurdle?"

"Everybody else leaves me." Cole said, his voice breaking.

"Well you'll have to put up with me, then, because I'm not changing my mind." Gennie said stubbornly.

"Never?" Cole said, a tiny smile on his face.

"Never, you idiot." Gennie said fondly, wrapping an arm around Cole's side, and my heart felt fuzzy seeing that after all these years, Cole and Gennie had stayed the same.

"What are you doing then, Harry?" Hermione said.

"I'm going back to the Dursleys' once more, because Dumbledore wanted me to,' said Harry. 'But it'll be a short visit, and then I'll be gone for good." 

'But where will you go if you don't come back to school?' I demanded.

"I thought I might go back to Godric's Hollow,' Harry muttered. "For me, it started there, all of it. I've just got a feeling I need to go there. And I can visit my parents' graves, I'd like that."

'And then what?' said Ron. 

"Then I've got to track down the rest of the Horcruxes, haven't I?" said Harry, his eyes upon Dumbledore's white tomb in the distance. "There are still four of them out there. I've got to find them and destroy them and then I've got to go after the seventh bit of Voldemort's soul, the bit that's still in his body, and I'm the one who's going to kill him. And if I meet Severus Snape  along the way,' he added, 'so much thr better tor me, so much the worse for him."

"Well I'll be there too," I snorted.

"Us too." Ron and Hermione added.

"What?" Harry said in shock.

"At your aunt and uncle's house,' said Ron. 'And then we'll go with you, wherever you're going." 

"No -' said Harry quickly; he clearly hadn't been prepared for this.

'"You said to us once before,' said Hermione quietly, 'that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time, haven't we?"

"And bloody hell, I'm your sister." I said softly, placing my hand on his shoulder. "I want to come, I want to help you. We were both there at the start almost sixteen years ago at Godric's Hollow--both of us need to end this." 

"We're with you whatever happens," said Ron. 'But, mate, you're going to have to come round my mum and dad's house before we do anything else, even Godric's Hollow." 

'Why?' 

"Bill and Fleur's wedding, remember?"

"Of course, we shouldn't miss that." I smiled.

And the six of us stood there in silence, the finality of what we'd all chosen to do hanging in the air. I looked around at the clearing we stood in, and my eyes caught each of the people close to me.

Alia and Camille stood with their mother, arms linked, finally close like Camille had wanted. And there was Arthur, sweet, dorky Arthur talking with Nate with a faint smile on his face. And there was Hollie, my little sister jumping up to try and see baby Maia, who was clutched in a smiling Lacey's arms.

And I thought of Draco's letter and his jumper in my arms, and all the words he'd written to me that was true, because we were real and it made me alive. 

I thought of Sam in the ground, and even though everything still hurt like hell, she was with Jia now, she was at peace. And I saw my closest friends and brother around me, realising how much we'd all changed and grown in the last four years.

And I had to do it, I realised. I had to face Voldemort when the time came, make the fate-changing choice, and I would embrace it when it came. 

And whatever happened, it would be my choice, and my destiny.

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A/N Wow. That was really emotional and one of the longest chapters ever. I'm really proud of this series, and I can't wait to embrace the final book with you all.

The poem read by Gennie is one of my favourites, it was read in my school when a girl in my year group died a few years back and always touches me, as I hope it did you.

Btw, if you all understand what the bottom right picture is (it's meant to be Rory holding Draco's jumper but I couldn't find anything more suitable) I love you a bunch. 

Also, should I post more photo set things like that? (I forgot my photobucket password so I couldn't make them).

The epilouge is already written (for me to select a quote from the finished letter) and will be up tomorrow afternoon to get everyone a chance to read this very long chapter. Then on Saturday, a character ask will be put up where you can quiz the characters (and me)

All the love,

Emily x