—I hate my mom.—

     I hate my mom. She's worried about me again and she threatened to call the hospital again if I didn't eat an entire meal so I had to. I couldn't go back to the hospital and have them force me to gain weight again. Then I'd have to lose it all over again. I don't want to do that.
     I hate myself for eating the meal, but I keep telling myself I had to. My mom basically forced me to. She blackmailed me into eating chicken parmesan. I feel disgusted with myself again.
     After supper I felt very bloated so I googled how to get rid of the food and I found this website that told me how to stick my hand down my throat until I gag and all the food I just ate should come back up. I tried it and it worked. That made me feel better.