Alex came back in the room with Nick in tow.

"Brother!"

"Pip!"

Our usual greeting.

I got up and gave him a hug.

His warmth compared with my lack of sleep, and the sense of safety he provided made me sleepy.

When we parted, he kissed the top of my head.

"Pip, you look exhausted." He pointed out with a concerned look plaguing his blue eyes.

"Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Yeah, no, she didn't."

Nick turned around and looked at Alex.

Then he looked back to me, eyes squinted.

"Hang on a minute," he said.

"You're not... You're not pregnant , are you?" He asks.

I realized how we had made it sound and felt heat rush to my head.

"No! N-No, oh my god no, we've never done... Jesus, no!" I stuttered.

"Thank god." Nick let out.

"You're horrible." I let out embarassingly as I shrunk into myself, curling up on the couch, buring my head in my arms.

Alex didn't really make noise.
"Y'alright, Al?" Nick asked.

"Just thinking about how you'd kill me if I got Sarah pregnant."

"Can we move on, please?!" I pleaded, voice muffled through my arms.

"Sorry." Nick chuckled.

"So what's going on?" Nick asked, sitting down in a chair as Alex took a seat on the other side of the couch.

I looked up and looked at Alex.

He looked at me and I nodded.

He grabbed my phone, unlocking it and showing the text to Nick.

Nick read it a few times over.

"So..." Nick wasn't really sure where to start.

I sighed, closing my eyes.

I didn't really want to go over it again.

"Do we know who sent this?" Nick asked.

"No." Alex said.

"Do we know who this is about?"

"Not exactly, but she thinks It's about me."

I sighed again, laying down and gently placing my head on Alex's thigh.

He wrapped an arm around me.

The boys began talking and theorizing as I drifted off.

When I began to regain conciousness, I kept my eyes closed.

I felt Alex gently running his fingers through my hair.

"She's scared, you know." Alex expressed softly.

Nick hummed.

"Whatever this is, we won't let her get hurt. We won't let you get hurt either. Just... Stick by her. We'll figure this out." Nick replied.

They were both speaking in hushed tones.

I began to move, and I sat up, rubbing my face.

Alex pulled me to him, planting a kiss on my temple.

"Did he explain it, then? I didn't like... Mean to doze off but I kind of meant to at the same time."

The boys both chuckled.

"It's fine. He explained it. If this happens again, we're gonna have to do something about it, because It's not cool." Nick explained.

I nodded, sighing and falling back under Alex's arm.

"I'm just so confused about it, and I just wish..." I paused.

"Wish what?" Nick asked.

I shook my head.

"I dunno."

Nick nodded.

"Well, I'm going to pick up some food. I'll be back soon." Nick said, standing up and taking his keys out.

I nodded.

He left and then it was only Alex and I sitting on the couch.

I leant my head in the crook of his neck.

It wasn't until a few minutes later that Alex broke the silence.

"You wish what?" He asked.

"Huh?"

"You were going to say that you wished something. What were you going to say?"

I bit my lip.

"I was going to say I wished none of this never happened." I let out.

Alex was quiet for a moment but then he pushed me away.

"What the Fuck is that supposed to mean?" He spat, a look of hurt and anger in his eyes.

My eyes widened and I realized that he took my words wrong.

"No, no, no, not the relationship, I mean, I mean all the bad experiences that we've all had!" I defended quickly.

His eyebrows furrowed.

"You fuckin' said it, not me." Alex got up, not hearing my point as he began to walk out.

"Alexander, you misunderstood m-"

He turned around quickly to face me.

"All that bad shit got us herr, alright?! Every decision, every moment, all of that shit brought us right Fucking here. With us coming close together and admitting our feelings! And you just wish that never happened?! That's fucked!" He shouted.

I flinched at his volume as his words stabbed their way into my skin.

When his words had set in, I began to get angry as well.

I know full well that all our decisions led to where we are.

"Alex," I stood up.

"I know full bloody well that everything that has happened had led us Here. I know full bloody well, that if none of this had happened, I wouldn't have had you! At least not this quickly or as strongly! But you misunderstood my words, and you're accusing me, and now you're yelling at me! Just stop!" I shouted back.

"Fuck off..." He mumbled as he turned to leave, running up the stairs, presumably to his room.

I sat on the couch, letting a frown take over my features.

Eventually that frown turned into a twisted up face as tears streamed their way down my cheeks.

This is all... It's all too much for me.

The lack of real rest, the paranoia, the worry, this, It's too much.

When I was done crying, my face felt puffy.

I wiped at my cheeks and slowly dragged my tired body into the kitchen, where I made myself a cup of tea.

I sat down at the isle table and stared ahead at the stove.

The memory of watching Alex cook with so much concentration and passion came to mind.

The memory usually warmed my heart but right now it made me wish everything could go back to that.

To the simplicity of that kind of happiness.

I'd really love that.

I dont know how long I sat there, but soon enough I hearf a voice call out.

"Hello?" Nick's deep voice rung out.

He stepped into the kitchen, a few brown bags that smelt of heaven in his hands.

He spotted me and slowly and cautiously stepped in the room.

"Where's Al?" He asked.

"He went to his room." My voice came out quiet but jagged.

"Jesus," Nick let out, "I leave you lot for forty five minutes and this happens..." He says, rushing to my side and pulling me into his chest.

I snuggled into his embrace.

I hugged him tightly.

"What happened, pip?" He asked.

I explained it shortly and Nick ran his hand through my hair a few times.

"It'll be alright, pip..."

I nodded.

After a few moments of silence, he spoke again.

"He's scared too, you know." His voice was soft and quiet.

I remained quiet.

"You're one of the only good things that has come into his life lately... He's afraid to lose you, he hasn't had anyone like you before. Not only are you younger, you're nice. And he doesnt get that often with girls. He just wants to keep you safe, but he doesn't know how to word these things sometimes... It'll be okay." Nick informed.

I took in all of his words and then I wondered why he was always so all knowing and comforting.

I embraced him tighter.

"I love you, thank you."

"I love you too, pip." He chuckled. "You're welcome."

I have the best brother.