The few people who were in the dining hall had cleared out by now.

It was empty and quiet in here, though it was a comforting emptiness.

It was a private emptiness.

I had finished my tea, sitting in silence with Alex.

I felt nerves take over me for a second.

I felt stupid for what I was about to do, but I just needed this.

"A-Alex?"

He looked up at me.

I love you.

"Could you just stand up for a minute?" I asked.

"Why?" He said, a bit confused.

"Just, please?"

He sloppily stood up, seeming unstable on his own two feet.

He kept a hand out by the table, as if ready to catch his own fall.

I gulped and stood up, facing him.

He looked down at me with a questionable look as he placed his aviators on the table.

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, putting my face to his chest, by his neck.

I just needed a hug.

Was that too much to ask?

I just wanted someone to embrace me for a few moments.

It being Alex was a bonus.

He was stiff at first as I latched onto him.

Soon, I felt him relax, and even lean into me as he hugged me back, holding me tighter than I had anticipated.

I felt myself relax a little more.

"Alex..." I murmured into his chest.

"Yeah?" his voice was deep, and quiet.

A difference from his tone earlier.

"Why do you drink and smoke so much?" I asked.

"I'm not saying that you need to quit... I just want to know why. What's the appeal?"

"It kills the pain." he replies shortly, burying his face in my hair.

"The pain of what?" I asked.

He sighed and hugged me tightly.

"Of everything.  It doesn't have to be anything in particular." he murmured.

I hugged him as tightly as I could.

"I just want you to be okay."  I whispered into his body.

"Hmm?" he asked, stroking my hair.

"Nothin." I said.

I love you.

God, I wished that I could just say it.

Alex's phone went off, and we parted.

We sat back down and he typed in a reply before setting it down.

"What was that about, then?" he asked.

"What was what about?" I asked, messing with the cardboard holder of the cup.

He just gave me a look and I sighed.

"Kills the pain."

He stared at me for a moment, before letting out a chuckle.

"You're so strong, you know that?" he asked.

I turned my head to the side. "How's that? I've been attacked three times and have cried enough to probably fill a pool." I said.

He shook his head.

"You're strong. But that's my point. You've been attacked 3 times. Look at you. You're still here, instead of huddled in a corner of a room. You haven't once complained about wanting to go home. You haven't even really called your parents. You still manage to help us at every gig with something. You rev up the band and make us excited, you provide advice, like keeping Jamie and Christine together. You put your indifferences aside and you continue on. You're strong." he said.

I took in what he said for a minute.

"Okay," I nodded, "You've had way too much to drink." I let out a chuckle.

He laughed and looked down.

"I mean it, though." he said, looking back up with a bit of a smile on his lips.

"I know. Thank you." I said back.

Before he could say anything else, I spoke up again.

"You really should get some sleep though. You could hardly even stand up just then, how are you going to perform at  a gig?" I scolded.

He laughed.

He put his arms on the table and rest his head upon them.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm sleeping." he said.

"No you're not." I said.

"Yes I am, see?" and he made fake snore noises.

"Alexander David Turner, you have to get proper rest! In a bed! With pajamas!" I said.

He groaned.

"Fine, but can you just come with me?" he asked.

"Sure."

I wasn't going to let this mess walk by himself.

I slipped out the booth and stood by the table, waiting for Alex to stand.

He slipped his phone into his pocket and stood up.

We walked slowly to the elevator.

I gulped as the door dinged and Alex's head turned towards me a bit.

The doors opened and he grabbed my hand.

I looked at him quickly and he pulled me into the elevator.

He pressed the button and the doors closed.

He squeezed my hand.

When the elevator shot to move upward, I jumped a bit, and he pulled me quickly into his chest, wrapping the fringes of his leather jacket around me.

"Jus' don't think about it." he said.

I closed my eyes and took in his scent.

Before I knew it, the elevator was open, and we were on our floor.

I wasn't even shaking or anything.

We stepped out and Alex stumbled for a moment, so I set my hand on his arm as we walked, just to make sure that he didn't fall, and if he did, I would be ready to catch him.

We reached his hotel door without a fall and he opened it.

"Go change, and go to sleep." I ordered quietly, catching a glimpse of the legs of a sleeping Jamie in the room.

"I will, I will." he groaned, stepping in the door.

"I'll see you later, then, Turner." I smiled.

"Certainly, O'Malley."

I laughed and walked away to the next door, hearing his close.

I went into our hotel room and everyone was still practically asleep, but Van was stirring on the couch.

I quietly walked over and sat down on the floor, my back against the couch.

Van sat up and quickly planted a kiss on the top of my head, then he fell back onto the couch, this time a little scrunched up so that his head was only a foot away from mine, and his knees were to his chest.

"Hello." he groggily said.

"Morning sleepy head." I responded.

"What time is it?" he asked, running a hand through his hair.

"Almost 8." I replied.

"Jesus, its way too early." he said.

"I know, I know." I laughed.

"That's what you get for drinking so much last night." I teased.

"Oh, shut up." he laughed.

I wondered what we were going to do today.

The morning was interesting but I wasn't so sure what we could really do until the gig tonight.

~~~

A/N;

What even is this chapter, I'm so sorry oh my god.