After almost a half an hour, I'd began to feel tired.

The tea had calmed both my mind and my body.

"Sarah, could I borrow some trousers?" Van whispered gently.

I nodded and curled up on the couch, bringing my knees to my chest and letting my eyes close.

I felt Van get up and I was a bit startled when he came back.

He had changed into my green pajama trousers, which were long, and fit him perfectly.

He kept on the black sweater shirt and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest and laying back.

He was sitting up a bit, and I was laying parshly on him and parshly next to him on the sofa.

My eyes drooped closed again and I let his warmth lure me into slumber.

When I woke up again, it was morning.

Alex was gone, the girls were gone.

Nick was in his bed.

Matt was in his.

I was in Van's arms.

I stayed in his warmth for a while as I thought about last night.

I loved Alex more than I could love anything.

I just...

I closed my eyes again.

What the hell was I going to do?

Recently more than ever my mind had cursed profanities, something that it hadn't done before.

I opened my eyes again and looking up at the sleeping Van, smiling at his messy brown hair, soft face, long lashes, and slightly open mouth.

He was just like when we were younger.

My mind flashed back to last night again, thinking about the look that Alex gave me after the kiss with Van.

I began to feel sick.

Not really a sick that was physical, but I did feel a twist in my stomach, and an.upset feeling took over me along with a dull ache in my head.

I slipped out of Van's arms and quietly grabbed some clothing for the day.

I grabbed black skinny trousers.

I picked up a reddish color Stone Roses shirt and I changed in the bathroom.

I slipped on socks and my new chucks and I grabbed my phone.

I write a note for the boys saying that I went to the lobby for some tea in case they woke up, though I doubted that they would, not as early as 6:30.

I didn't even know how I was up this early, honestly.

I quietly slipped out the door and made my way downstairs.

I was a little scared as I walked down the Long corridors and entered the elevator, but I made it safely.

I was shakey after being in the elevator.

I wrung my hands together to try and get them to stop shaking but I knew that at this point a good, warm cup of tea would be the only thing that would work.

I quickly retrieved my cup of tea and sat down at an empty table.

There were few people in this dining hall.

As I looked around I finally spotted a leather covered lump with brown hair sitting in a booth.

I knew it was Alex, but I didn't know why he was down here.

His face was burried in his arms on the table.

His phone was on his right side and the cup on his left.

I got up and carefully walked over, sitting across from him.

He raised his head quickly and his eyes were covered by dark, dark aviators.

He had a blank face and I couldn't tell if he was looking at me or not but I gulped and looked down to my shaking hands.

I looked back up to find his head tilt downwards at my hands, and I quickly moved them into my lap.

"Morning." I commented softly.

He nodded at me.

I looked down again, then to my left.

"What are you doing down here so early? You had quite a few drinks I wouldn't think that you'd wake-"

"Didn't sleep." He murmured, shaking his head slightly.

My eyes went wide as I looked at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked in shock.

"I never went to bed."

I looked at him and noticed that he was wearing the same clothing from yesterday.

"Alex!" I almost shouted.

He winced.

"Don't be so loud, hurts me brain." He said.

I brought my shaking hands up to my face.

"How long have you been down here?" I asked.

"Why are you shaking?" He asked.

"Answer me." I said.

"Dunno. 2 am, maybe." He shrugged.

"You haven't slept in a whole day?" I said. "Alex, what time did you even leave our room?" I asked.

"About 2 am." He said, again.

"What time did you get off the phone?!" I asked.

"About 2-"

"Stop." I said.

He was silent.

"Take off your sunglasses..." I requested, softly.

He sat there for a moment, not moving.

I was just about to ask again when he finally complied, taking off the aviators.

The dark circles under his eyes were very obvious, and his eyes held this tired, glazed look.

The fact that he hadn't slept in 24 hours was very apperant.

"Alex..." I sighed sadly.

His lazy brown eyes looked into my blue ones.

"You need to go upstairs and rest." I said.

He looked away.

His phone buzzed.

He looked at it quickly and picked it up.

"Alex, please." I begged.

He typed out a quick response to whatever it was and set his phone down again.

He sighed.

Alcohol.

He had alcohol on his breath.

I pushed myself back against the seat as I gripped it.

"Whats in the cup?" I asked.

He stayed quiet, looking to the side and biting his lip.

"Alex, just bloody talk to me!" I begged.

"Whiskey." He replied shortly.

I felt water try and bring itself through my eyes but I wouldn't allow it.

I don't know why I felt like crying, but maybe it's because of the slightly self destructive Alex that sat in front of me.

"Why are you shaking?" He asked again.

"Elevator." I said, my voice breaking.

I cursed myself in my head as tears began to arise.

I picked up my tea quickly and sipped it, willing it to calm me down.

One tear slipped out and I turned my head, hoping that he wouldn't see as I tried to wipe it away.

"Why are you crying?"

I felt idiotic.

I felt like a kid again.

Maybe this is why they treated me like a child sometimes.

Because I was one.

I didn't know what to say.

I shook my head and took a deep breath.

He seemed to understand that I didn't desire to answer.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up.

"Do you like him?" He asked, his mood unidentifiable.

"No."

"Why are you two so cuddly?" He asked.

Why do you care? I thought.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Last night, I watched you both sleeping so close, I thought that I'd ask, since you seem to like him." He slurred slightly.

He then had a bit of a sour expression, as if he didn't mean to say what he just had.

"I took a look about the room as I was leaving, I mean." He said.

"He's just my best friend." I said.

Alex nodded and picked up the cup, throwing his head back as he finished it's contents.