a/n: quick thing before this chapter starts - in this book and i believe in "splintered thorns" there will be past flashbacks and they won't be italicized because they're meant to keep the plot going and basically meant to be a reflection that the character makes just putting a quick psa out there so people don't get confused.

ben solo was hallucinating.

well he didn't know for sure but after seeing who was in bed next to him he was pretty sure.

very sure to be in fact. so to make sure he very groggily took a piece of skin between his fingers before pinching, hard. he regretted that decision soon after.

"ouch! goddammit!"

"what the hell is wrong with you?"

he turned his attention to the girl who was lying in bed next to him. at first ben didn't response instead taking his precious time in admiring her, taking in her sun kissed skin and the sprinkle of freckles across her nose.

"oh my god! forget you, what the hell is wrong with me? why am i here?"

she made a face that was a mixture between both shock and disgust.

"it takes two to tango...rey."

"and this is why i don't take dance lessons...ben," she grumbled in response. "now, i should probably get going."

in an act of spontaneity ben reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"wait."

rey glared at him, "what is it?" she hissed.

"please..."

"please what?"

he pulled her down towards him.

"stay..."

•

it was loud. ben solo hates loud.

but yet here he was.

ben doesn't exactly remember how or why he agreed to coming but what he did know is that he was weak for rey's charms.

ben just knew deep down that she could spew utter bullshit and he'd still praise whatever she'd say. it's quite sad to think about but he concluded this was the exact reason he was standing outside a club on a friday night.

"you scared solo?"

"n-no! i'm not scared of a club," he scoffed crossing his arms across his chest. "if anything the club should be scared of me!"

"if you're so brave and unafraid why do you refuse to go in?"

"i-i just wasn't ready you know, just teasing."

he winked at her before running inside.

•

"do you remember anything?"

"not really." rey responded her answer blunt and inexpressive.

"me too," he lied.

"what i do know is that somehow i ended up in bed with you," she scoffed. "this is the last thing i'd thought would happen, this is why i shouldn't be going out on friday nights..."

ben stopped listening to her drone and rose up from the bed.

"where are you doing?"

"i'm getting changed," he replied, his answer mimicking her previous bluntness.

•

he doesn't remember if it was her who kissed him or if he kissed her.

it didn't seem to matter for in the coming moments it felt as if it were just the two of them, even though they were both merging bodies in an overcrowded club.

"we should get out of here," rey whispered her voice low and slurred.

"yeah, we can go to my place," he whispered back, sucking gently on the skin on her neck.

•

he couldn't breathe. it seemed as if all the previous emotions had exploded like time bombs in his throat, preventing him from speaking out.

ben caught a glance at himself in the mirror and tried to take a deep breath but he couldn't seem to calm down.

the moment rey appeared in his life the more he found himself thinking back to the last time he saw han alive.

the last time he saw his father alive.

it felt weird to call han that for to ben he didn't seem like one. their strained relationship soon resulting in a severed one.

father felt weird, so he tried not to use the word.

f-a-t-h-e-r

he spelled the word out to himself and got a bad taste in his mouth, maybe han would be the better option.

"ben? are you okay?"

"yeah." was his reply.

he took one more disgusted look at himself in the mirror before going to meet rey once again.

•

their bodies merged together in perfect synch.

soon after they stumbled home ben struggled to maneuver rey and his intoxicated self towards his room all while kissing rey sloppily in this process.

he remembers throwing her on the bed and peppering kisses down her neck.

he remembers her kissing him back with the same passion he kissed her with.

and then ben forgot. the rest of the night became some sort of blur. but maybe that blur was for the best since he probably wouldn't want to deal with the pain of remembering anyways.   

a/n: wow reylo wow aus wow life anyways i'm hella tired and i'm probably going to update some other story before working on my apush paper so anyways peace out love y'all - also this is meant to be a blurry wtf just happened type chapter because plot purposes so the full story will be revealed later