Morning falls like guillotine. Sunlight peeks from the curtain like it's not invited, waking up Jiyong, who's never really asleep. Question running in his mind as he slips from under the blanket to the soft slippers that's white.

How do you say goodbye?

***

SH : How come I am the first one arrive???

Seunghyun's message appears in the pop up screen, distracting him from his morning coffee.

YB : Dope congratz!

He almost spit his coffee out. Youngbae is still pulling his old jokes and who knows when will it ever end?

SH : Don't whatever congratz me. Get your ass over here.

Jiyong laughs. They will never ever get old.

DS : I had to read twice to make sure it's Seunghyun–hyung.

BIGBANG is bunch of kids and jokes are always mean because that's how they fight against the world. That's how they bond.

SR : Huh, Daesung–hyung? It means YOU are not even there yet?

Seungri chimes in the chat with lots of panda stickers. Jiyong is the only one so far who hasn't send any message.

SH : Kwon Jiyong I know you're reading. Come here ASAP and rescue me.

"Busted," Jiyong mutters under his breath, smiling. "Sorry, Seunghyun."

SH : Where's the bathroom??

It's Seunghyun again, sounds like emergency.

DS : Ask someone, hyung, I'm on my way.

Nice advice Kang Daesung.

SH : Everybody is VERY busy?????? And it's only five people here???????????

Jiyong has to hide his grin with his hand because his manager is coming and people start to notice him.

SH : And how come I haven't heard any happy birthday hyung yet?????????????????

***

"Yo."

Jiyong grinned at her, shifted to the side to let her inside the elevator. "How are you doing?"

"Great, just back from vacation. You?" Dara, who looked like she'd never get old, was wearing a white shirt with sunflowers pattern. "Saw you on the news."

"Busy. I have so many people to please."

Dara smiled. "But never really yourself."

Jiyong shrugged. "I don't feel very pleased recently. Probably I should use some vacation too."

"You should. How come you are skinnier than me?"

"I'm still taller."

Dara hit him on the head. "I'm still older."

Jiyong laughed. "Yes, noona."

"Your new album is coming out next month?"

"Is it also all over the news in Vietnam?"

"Honestly," Dara sighed. "It's the news everywhere."

"Then yes, it is."

"Chaerin said you weren't so nice during recording."

"I never did," Jiyong stuck his tongue out to mock, to joke.

But Dara looked at him in his eyes. "You used to be nicer."

"I don't know that?"

She thought to herself. "You know, Jiyong, sometimes it's like being in the elevator."

"What?"

"Like you're moving but not actually moving, you know? You have to step out of it," Dara said as she got out of the glass–metal box.

***

"I've survived your weird outfits before," Youngbae says. "Glad to know that I don't have to get through that today."

"Shut up," Jiyong smacks his arm. "I miss you too."

Youngbae gives him a friendly shove just as one of the make-up artist, who seems so young and have dimple on each of her cheeks, comes in the room with the one and only Daesung with Seunghyun tailing behind him, his phone glued to his right hand.

"Hyung!" Daesung runs to them, his signature smile on his face practically ripping the skin to two. Seunghyun scowls lightly because apparently he is filming Daesung. The youngest rolls his eyes.

"Where's Seungri?" is Seunghyun's question and he's looking right to Jiyong.

"Here," as if it was summon, Seungri makes his way to them. He's wearing black ripped jeans and hat Jiyong recognizes coming from his Peaceminusone store. "Miss me already?"

"You're the one who haven't wished me happy birthday hyung yet," Seunghyun clicks his tongue.

Jiyong watches them lost in their own friendly fight and Daesung casually slips from the war to change his shirt.

"How are you?" Youngbae asks.

Maybe there's no way to say goodbye, Jiyong supposes. Maybe there's never of it. "I'll be fine," he's not sure which one of them he's trying to convince. "I should be."

Youngbae squeezes his shoulder.

***

It sucks to have something you treasure the most being taken away from you. It's somehow understandable if you stand vigil to protect it. Sometimes, it's hard to say which side is wrong and which side is right in a war, everybody has reason to be both.

How about losing something that you never really had? How about losing something that nobody knows was yours?

Nobody knows.

We always know.

***

Daesung's present for Seunghyun turns out to be a cake as Jiyong suggested, a very big and square cake with various toppings which presented by his dancers during his final MC session. Seunghyun, whose face turns red immediately and wears a grin as large as Jupiter, squeals on his seat nearly crushing Youngbae with his hug. He doesn't even wait until the guards come to guide him, already running to the stage when fangirls scream startles him. Youngbae shakes his head but eventually cheering up for a greedy and suddenly shy Seunghyun who put on his cool face and throwing finger–hearts to any direction.

Jiyong's attention, however, is occupied with Seungri who was too busy laughing to notice he almost fell from his seat. When Jiyong grabbed his arm to prevent the younger man from embarrassing himself –and landing on his butt –Seungri turned to him, didn't even pause to thank him or at least to acknowledge the fact that Jiyong was too close to his face.

"Did you see that? He even shoved Daesung–hyung aside," Seungri claps like seal, eyes focused back to the comedy scene playing on stage where Daesung refuses to give Seunghyun a plastic knife and the latter being a genius, scoops the cream with his bare hand.

Seungri's laughter rings in his ears. For a while, it seems like the world narrows down to only them two.

This.

There's no other word that fit, no doubt when Jiyong squeezes Seungri's hand, about what he really wants to protect, about what he wishes to keep, about what he knows better to let go.

This.

***

"So, hyung," Youngbae says in disbelief. "You actually know how to organize a party."

"Yep," Seunghyun pours the wine. "Give me your glass."

"Well, I don't expect this when you said 'party'," Daesung joins in, now dressed in a leather jacket and jeans. His sneakers squeak as he walks toward their table. "I mean...this just five of us and food and wine and...well, dinner."

Seunghyun looks at him, annoyed. "You told me no crazy party, hyung, I still need to perform the day after, remember?"

Daesung sits beside him. "That's why I said it's better to have it tomorrow, we don't have to worry about –"

"Daesung, honey," Seunghyun's aegyo takes place. Seungri tries so hard not to sneer, Youngbae and Jiyong watch the show as if it's being put there for their entertainment. "Tomorrow is not my birthday."

Daesung's eyes go wide as he clasps his hand on his mouth, the other palm lands on his chest. "You're right, Seunghyun–hyung."

"If you're done being dramatic," Jiyong's manager suddenly stands beside their table. "I'd love to –"

"You're ruining the scene," Seunghyun's shoulders slump as he pouts.

"Your ticket," Jiyong's manager doesn't even bother to roll his eyes. After all, it's not his first time caught BIGBANG's antique. "You sure?"

"I am," Jiyong tucks it safely in his pocket. "Thanks."

"Have fun. Oh, Daesung, it was amazing!"

"Thanks," Daesung grins but eventually shifts his eyes back to Jiyong. "What ticket? Are you going somewhere?"

"Home," Jiyong answers, not trusting himself to look at anyone, let alone Seungri who stiffens on his seat beside him. "Plane tomorrow morning."

"I thought you'll stay until tomorrow," Seungri sounds like he's million miles away.

"I shouldn't," Jiyong mutters, sure that nobody hear it but himself.

***