_*NUR FIRDAUS.....5*_  _Arewabooks@Surayyahms_

Cikin kirkiran murmushi tay gyaran murya snn tace inajinka please go ahead sir..

Gyaran muryan shima yay snn ya fara mata nasiha masu shiga jiki duba da makarntar tana kkri bisa dora dalibanta akan tarbiyarn islama. Snn itakanta nur fidaus tana daya daga cikin Daliban da ake alfahari dasu wajen dabbaka hidimar addini da nuna dabia na kwarai da kame kansu a matsayin su na ƴayan musulmai.

Saidai izuwa yanxu halayyar yar uwarta leila haroun sosai ya fara damun malamai da kuma class advisers na Ajinsu da suke yawan kawo korafin yadda bata son karatu kwata kwata ynxu, bata kuma gaida maison karatu. Babban burinta shine, tazo aji ta toshe kunnuwanta da wakokin Mawaka irinsu M sherif na soyayya kala kala haka zata nitsu tanajinsu har atashi.

Dr ibrahim Ya kalle nur da fuskan damuwa tare da cewa.."musan yar uwarki leila tana da ilimi sosai amma wann karon your sisters grades are slipping and her behvr have bcome withdrawn kamar ma batason tay karatu ne gabaki daya.. tun farin session din nan muka fahimci haka shinko akwai wata personal matsala ce dayake damunta ata gida?? Sabida anan we r really trying our best akan case dinta but we found nothing related to academics default..

nur dake wasa da yatsun hannunta nervously izuwa yanxu duk sai taji takasa tattara komi dagacikin nitsuwarta har nadan wani lkci dan atake kwakwalrta ya shiga hayayyako mata manyan dalilin dayake neman jefa nitsuwar yar uwarta da kuma rayuwarsu gabaki daya cikin garari, wanda Ba wani abu bane face Halin ko in kula da dumbin bibiyar hayatal duniya da uwarsu ta dora a rayuwarta wanda bataji bata gani bata daraja komi sai aikinta da rayuwar siyasanta.

kowacce haifaffen ƴa mace tana alfahari da y'ay'anta data haifa  amma awajen nasu uwar tamkar wahala da nauyi Haihuwarsu ya zame mata wanda take saukeshi da kyar, gabaki daya rayuwar mum dinsu revolves around her endlesss meetings, social rallies and big big political events which have taken toll in thier family life tun suna yara kanana.

Dan karda shirun data masa yay yawa yasata dago kanta da karamin murmushi tanamai cewa

Sir i have to get back to u on this amma ina son na sani What can i do to help my sister dan maman mu has been  really really busy with her campaigns gaskiya bana tsammanin zata taba samun lkcin zuwa nan.

jin ta karashe maganan muryanta na nemn yy rawa Cikin katseta ahnkli yace mahaifinku kuma ya rasu ko?

Wani abu me nauyi ta dan hadiya aranta kafin Nan tace Eh.. jiki a sanyaye takuma cewa "babanmu Ya jima da rasuwa.

batare da ya kalleta ba yy ajiyan zuciya snn yace "Mun bincika files dinku ko zamu ga contacts ko adress na wani guidance amma babu, "is ur mum the only one taking care of u both, i mean babu uncles ko qurdians..

kallonshi take ayayin da taji kamar nunfashinta ya rike ta ciki Bata iya amsawa bama ta girgiza masa kai tanakan kirkiran murmushi me nauyi ayayinda ta hau tuna yadda mahaifyarsu ta datse duk wata alakarsu da yan uwan ubansu da kuma sauran danginsu sabida harkan siyasanta wanda abune wanda haryau basu fahinta ba, Ahnkl snn tace no sir, ita dayace kawai.

Cike da tausayawa a kwayar idanunsa yace Toh shikenan bakomi you can start by being der for ur sister dan gaskiya rayuwarta yana bukatar kulawan familynta sosai.  Ke matsayinki na babban Ki jawota ajikinki snn kiji menene asalin damuwarta, if she feels scared of something offer her a word of encouragement..

Gyada kanta tay ahnkli snn tace Nagode Sir zan iya bakin kokkri na akai in sha Allah..

Rufe file din yay bayan yay dan wasu rubuce rubuce tana kallonshi batace komi ba can snn yace toh shikenan you can go for ur class.

Godiya ta kara masa ta mike tsaye har takai bakin kofa Snn taji ya ambace sunanta..

Juyowa tay suka hade ido cikin sanyin murya ya dubeta ganin she is also too young for an emotional budern. tausayinta yaji aransa yace "nur fidaus yana da muhimmanci duk yadda za'ayi ku samu tattaunawa da mahaifyarku, i dont knw how, but try.. cos it may be the root cause of these issures da yar uwarki take facing kuma yadda nasanta last session tana da kkri sosai ba haka take ba. Work on ur self too mss haroun. Karku sake ku dorawa ranku nauyin abunda yafi karfinku mmmm?

Ji tay zuciyarta ya kara karyewa da kallon tausayawar dayay mata kawai ta gyada masa kai tana murmushi daga nan batace komi ba harta fita waje..

tunda ta rufe kofar ofis din tafiya take gabanta na faduwa jin abubuwa masu dumbin yawa na dawowa cikin brain dinta dan duk sanda ta tuna nisan tazarar fahintar juna dake tsakaninta da mahaifyarsu sai taji kamar ta zube awajen ta rushe da kuka mei tsuma. Dan bazata iya tuna sau nawa take kkri wajen kai korafin neman kulawarta akansu ba,  snn bazata iya tuna sau nawa take gaya mata illar da shikansa rashin kulawartan yakeyi acikin rayuwarsu ba.

Mahaifyarsu Hajiya Haseena Sharifudeen  irin mata yan bokon nan ne da suke da strong willed for social life and high profile political ambitions ta rike matsayi kala kala dake da alaka da siyasan kasa itadin babban yar gwagwarmayace sananniya kuma jajirtacciya.

Yanxu haka itace Party chairperson and social justice activist na rulling party dake ci wanda Lokacin kanta ma bata dashi bare kuma na yaranta data haifa. dacan da mahaifinsu alhaj Haroun ciroma ke raye basu ma santa sosai ba dan shike musu komi na ryuwarsu hatta wanka abinci, kulawa da su in suna ciwo  hatta wanke kashi, baban su  civil servant ne kuma dan kasuwane but he died while they she is just little itada laila wanda Bayan mutuwarsa ne suka fara wata rayuwa mai tamkar da na marayu.

Gadai uwarsu araye ga kuma kudin tana nemosu amma komi su suka koyi yima makansu dakansu cos they hardly catch her attention, yau meeting acan kasar gobe rally acan garin ko social events, wanda ko tadawo seidei ta nemi samun hutu da sabon mijinta _uncle Sadaat_ matashi me jini ajika data aura bayan rasuwar mahaifinsu, bayanshi sam bata sauraran komi daya shafe rayuwarsu da karatunsu insunyi me kyau oho inbasuyi ba oho itade zata basu kudi kowanawa ne ayi komi

_After 1hr:30 mins..._

Madaidaicin dakin karatun mai dauke da dalibai 46 yayi shiru bakajin motsin komai sai na takardu, sai kuma very audible voice din malamin da yake gabatar da karatu ga dalibai masu karantar ilimin litereture a makarantar ICIE alnoor academy dake abuja. Darasi ne suke yi akan "attachment theories"
..Stories that reflect complexities and rubuta sunayen manyan littafai kala kala da suke zuba magana ta hikima da fasaha akan family reltionship complexities da attachment theory din akan Allo..

inda malamin yake yi musu bayani dalla dalla game da Nazari da suka shafi alaqa ta jini dana yan uwantaka..

Saboda kasancewa daliban sunzo ne daga yaruka da kuma gidaje mabanbanta, wannan yasa malamin yake daukan misalin daya bayan daya yake musu bitar banbancin tsarukan complexieties da ake samu da niyyar in sun gama sai su hadu suyi comparing aga wadanne ne sukafi cin karo da juna snn sukafi kyau kuma wadanne chanji ya kamata a samar.

A yau ne kuma malamin yashigo yankin arewa wanda yafara ne daga midle belt as some wll call it north central kafin ashiga core north din..

Malamin yafara da Abuja dan da alama yawancin daliban nasa mazauna abujan ne wanda iyayensu basu da lkcin kansu  sosai ma bare nasu, so they reasonate with him deeply suna fahimtar duk wani misalai dayake bayarwa sosai ajin yau ya dau shiru ..

A nutse ya fara karanto wa daliban existing litereture review akan yadda alakar iyaye dana yaransu take a arewa tare da karanto wasu chapter da labari acikin littafan dake gabansa .

Wajen wasu iyaye yaro tamkar kwai yake ana kaffa kaffa da rayuwarsa tun daga ranar da aka haifesa har ya mutu, amma wajen wasu iyayen yaro tamkar kashin kifi a wuyarsu ne ko kuma ince wani bbn cikas ga rayuwarsu.

malamin ya furta abubuwa dayawa wanda suka dada tadawa nur firdaus hanklinta sosai dan tun da aka fara ajin alakarsu da tasu mahaifiyar kawai take tunawa..

cikin zuba tagumi ta shiga nazari shin Tayaya ma mutum zai kawo wani fragile halitta duniya Bayan yasan Allah ya damka masa shi a matsayin amana ne snn yazo yanuna cewa baisan da matsaln rayuwar halittar ba..?....."Wai Shin lefin iyayen ne ko lefin yanayin rayuwar da muka tsinci kanmu aciki?..

Cikin nazarinta taji malamin yace  nazarin mu na biyu akan iyaye shine masana sunyi ƙiyasi sunce.. tabbass
..."Dan adam bazai taɓa fahimtar yawa da zafin gwagwamyar iyayensa aynxu ba hala har sai ya kai shekaru Ar'bain..." Lkcin ne kaima zaka fahimce cewa suma mutane ne kamarka with alot of fears, anxieties, trauma and  dreams to be fullfiled.

Dan haka wayene zai gaya mana Kwararan dalilai dayasaka ake samun family trauma and complexities.

Dalibi na farko daga seat din gaba shine ya fara daga hannu malamin ya juyo kanshi...

yace sir"..kasancewar mutum uba ko uwa abune wanda akwai matsanancin gajiya, da rashin samun cikakken hutu ajiki, sabida daga zaràr iyaye sun samu ciki daga ranar za'a fara shiri da hidima akan abunda za'a haifa har ranar da ya fito duniya ahakan ma za'a cigaba ne da kulawa dashi harsai illa masha'a..

Wacce take gefensa ta dago tace sir snn iyayen sukansu might be suffering frm past family and rlship traumas and other unresolved chilhood insecurities or abuse..

cike da gamsuwa da jin dadin amsoshinsu malamin yace yes yes very good. Anyone else?

Wata yarinya wacce take gefe daga can baya tace akwai loss of personal identity sir. Dan Mutum daga ya amsa sunansa na baban wace ko maman wace toh iya wann title din zai iya danne duk wata tittle, passion, goals, da kuma personal intrest dinsa da yake dashi akan personal rayuwarsu.

gayen dake gefenta bayarbe ne fari kyakkwa dashi wanda alama yana mugun ji dakansa kai tsaye yace "Desire for autonomy sir. I think our Parent need some independence and self directed life. Producing children is like self sabotage.. ni personally bazan ma haifi kowa ba.

Dede nan kowa ya juya ya kallesa da mamaki ayayinda shikuma ya hade ransa yana shan qamshi...

Malamin yay murmushi yace "reason?

Tsaye yaron ya mike boldy snn yace "sir, parenting is like a poison slowly killng us duba da sha'anin parenting din yana zuwa ne da wasu irin overwhelming duties discpline, and even education....ann yay dogon bayaninsa.

Lokaci guda malamin ya hau gyada kai looking quiet impressed da irin amsoshin da suke bayarwa tareda yin kwafa akan fuskokin mutane irinsu Nur firdaus da Abun bei zo dede da raayinsu ba.

yace very good points so far "abrar "salma, "Aliya and Abdul".. bravo, naji dadin ra'ayoyinku akan hakan. it seems like you all understood the  concept of family complexities and unmanageble parenting responsiblities.. now Lets see if we can justify it. Shin hakan da kuka fadi deidei ne ko akwai gyara...who is ready to oppose the motions

nan take Abdul din ya sake daga hannunsa da alaman bai gama ba

yace sir  being a parent Its like obeying a law of nature. Just like marriage, Parenting is like legal form of slavery. Kamar kaci abinci ne kayi amai and Then u spend the rest of yr life working for it to be come as perfect and nice as the food you eat.. masana dayawa a fannin psychology sunyi nazari akan haka. literally you dont owe yr child anything. "like, how are you working all ur ass off just to save for a child kamar danshi kazo duniya? dont we all have a purpose? is producing children our only purpose? this Doesnt even make sense...i will like to point out that wnn mindset din shine ya kawo rashin cigaba da talauci a arewa....and

Yana tsaka da barrarraka zancen nasa nur tafarjin abun ya isheta ita kanta bata san sanda wata  takurarren tsakin datake matsewa a cikinta ya fito sarari ba wanda Atake malamin ya dakatar da maganan da yake shirin yi da abdul da matsanancin mamaki ya dago kansa a tareda duk sauran daliban suka kalle dayan sashen da wann tsakin nata ya fito....
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