Y/n y/l/n

I lock my phone once again, placing it on the other end of the desk as I attempt to focus on the papers in front of me.

I knew they needed to be signed and organized by the end of the day, yet my mind was elsewhere.

It was rather adamant on staying that way, waiting for me to give into what it wanted, rather than helping me get through any of this work.

Is it weird that this stranger is occupying so many of the thoughts in my head, when he's exactly that- a stranger.

My subconscious doesn't get the chance to come across an answer to the sudden crisis as my phone screen lights up.

Suddenly my attention was off my work once again, my hands already reaching for my phone before my brain could even try to stop me.

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| | 08:30 am | |

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘩, 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘫𝘰𝘣
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦
𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺 𝘚𝘦𝘣 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘺
𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥.

𝐎𝐡 𝐚𝐦 𝐈? 𝐇𝐨𝐰'𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭?

𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬
𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘰𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵
𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴
𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞
𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦..

𝘞𝘰𝘸, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴
𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 :/

𝐈'𝐦 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥,
𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞.

𝘖𝘩, 𝘶𝘩 𝘯𝘰.
𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵.

𝘐 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶?

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨?
𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝
𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭.

𝘊𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘦𝘵
𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘤𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘺

𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐢𝐭

"You seem to be awfully interested in your phone lately." I look up from my phone, seeing Harrison walking up to the edge of my desk.

"Something you need Haz?"

"Straight to the point? Still the usual y/n then. I was starting to worry that the person on the other side was holding you captive by the way you've been glued to your phone."

"Who said anything about another person?" My gaze remains neutral, trying not to give anything away as I watch a smirk slowly spread across his face.

"You were smiling at your phone." He shrugs as if it was the most obvious statement in the world.

"And that means I'm messaging someone?"

"Precisely."

"Did you actually need something Harrison, or did you just come over here to interrogate me?"

"Ouch y/n/n." I roll my eyes at his dramatics, leaning back in my chair as I stare at him, knowing that if I remained like this for a little while longer, he'd give in. "Yeah yeah okay, I'll drop it for now. Evelyn wants to see you in her office."

My breath hitches in my throat as I stare up at him, trying to wrack my brain for something that I had done wrong that my boss wanted to see me an hour into the work day.

"You didn't do anything wrong, don't panic."

"I was not panicking."

"I could practically see the gears turning in your head from over here."

"You're too much sometimes."

"Thank you." He smiles brightly, knowing that no matter how straightforward I am with him sometimes, I still adore him.

My phone beeped once again, my eyes flitting over the screen, reminding me that I had yet to reply to Seb.

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧?

"Don't leave Evelyn waiting too long, your mystery man isn't going anywhere."

"Goodbye Harrison." He chuckles deeply and I wait until he has completely walked away from my desk until I grab my phone to respond.

𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺, 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘶𝘱,
𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧,
𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦
𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦.

𝐈𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?

𝘎𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘸𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘢
𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘰

𝘐𝘧 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘷𝘦
𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦...

𝐎𝐡 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭
𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫. 𝐈 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨
𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

𝘐'𝘮 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨,
𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦..

𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤
𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭

𝘠𝘦𝘢𝘩, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸
𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱?

𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐝, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞
𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠.

𝘖𝘩 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘮𝘦, 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘥

𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰,
𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 :)

𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥 :)

𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘳 :/

I slide my phone into my back pocket as I make my way over to my Boss's office.

I lift my hand up to the door, knocking softly against the glass door as I wait for a response.

"Come in."

I push the door open, sliding in as I close it behind me, never turning my back as I make my way towards the desk that was centered in the middle of the room.

"Please, sit y/n." Evelyn's smile reaches her eyes, her overall body language welcoming, calming my thoughts and helping me keep the anxiety I was feeling at bay.

I sat down in one of the empty chairs opposite her, my hands immediately clasping together under the desk and away from her eyes.

My fingernails press deeply into the skin of my hand, leaving marks behind as the anxiety manifests itself into through one of my worst habits.

A habit I had picked up a few years back as way to hide any of the emotions that were constantly wanting to break through. The emotions that made me seem weak.

It's something that had turned into an unconscious and automatic reflex when I was faced with conflict.

Something that I've still been struggling to overcome ever since it developed, even while going to therapy once a week.

My therapist is adamant that it'll take time. Healing takes time.

Although it seems like it's been taking too long for anything to actually start changing back to the way it was before.

"You're not in trouble y/n." I zone back into the moment, actively separating my hands as I nod slowly. "I actually wanted to talk to you about your job."

There it goes again, the thoughts seemingly starting to spiral round my head but Evelyn was quick to shut them down.

"I ran into Harrison earlier today, he mentioned something about you applying for my position once I retire."

I should have known Harrison wouldn't be able to keep it between the two of us.

"Oh, well, honestly, I have been thinking it over, Harrison is very persistent, but I'm not sure whether I'm actually going to apply."

"Is there something that's holding you back? Something that's stopping you?" I sigh internally, thinking of a way to respond without unloading everything onto her.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for such a big change." Evelyn nods slowly, taking in the information as she leans forward slightly.

"Y/n, you're one of the best employee's we have working here, if not the best. I know change can be difficult, but if you never push yourself, you'll miss the opportunity to grow."

Another therapy word.

Growth.

"I'd never force you to do anything you don't want to do, but what I do know, is that you have much more in you than sitting behind that desk all day."

"I-" I breath in deeply for a second, pushing all my emotions down before responding. "I'll reconsider, I promise."

"No problem y/n. I hope to see your application on my desk." She smiles brightly, and I nod as I push myself out of the chair.

"Thank you Evelyn."

I walk out of her office and as soon as I'm back at my desk, I fall down into my chair, my gaze dropping, scanning over all the marks my nails had left.

Growth.

I could try do that.

⍟ ⍟ ⍟