unknown number
why are you texting me at this time

richie
i'm richie, your fellow number neighbor

unknown number
what the hell is a "number neighbor"?

richie
it's like this thing where basically the person your texting has the same phone number as you except the last digit is one higher or lower

richie
and yours is one lower than mine so hi 😎

unknown number
look i don't know who you are, you could be a kidnapper for all i know and my mom would kill me if she caught me talking to you!

richie
dude don't worry i'm not a kidnapper
and yes i know it's late but i'm lonely so can you please just talk to me to keep me company

unknown number
depends. how old are you

richie
basically 16

unknown number
what do you mean "basically"

richie
i mean i'm still 15 but i'm almost 16

unknown number
mhm

unknown number
me too

richie
oh so you're my age 😏

unknown number
ew no

richie
:(

richie
so what's your name

unknow number
why do you care

richie
because we're technically friends now

unknown number
who said that

richie
why u so feisty though

richie
i bet ur tiny

unknown number
first of all i'm 5'3

richie
exactly. tiny.

unknown number
and second

unknown number
my name is eddie

richie
what's it short for

unknown number
edward.

richie has changed unknown number's contact name to "edward🍝"

richie
i actually didn't know you were a boy i thought you were a girl i'm sorry

edward🍝
how dare you assume my gender

richie
wait what

richie
do you not identify as that

richie
hello?
read 2:23 am

edward🍝
i'm kidding
yes i'm a boy

richie
oh.

edward🍝
i'm still convinced you're 30

richie
why do you not believe me
how do i know YOU'RE not 30
edward is an old person name

edward🍝
so is richard

richie
how dare you

edward🍝
:)

richie
you scare me

edward🍝
if you saw me irl i wouldn't scare you
i look like a 5 year old

richie
i bet ur hOt ;)

edward🍝
i'm really not
see for yourself

edward🍝

richie
omg

edward🍝
see? 5 year old.

richie
no it's not that

edward🍝
then what is it

richie
you're fucking adorable

edward🍝
that's because i look like a 5 year old
and 5 year olds are supposed to be adorable

edward🍝
anyways how about you prove you're not 30

richie

here's me in like 8th grade
also i wear glasses normally but my mother made me wear contacts

edward🍝
well how do you look now

richie

yes yes i know i'm ugly 🤠

edward🍝
no no you're not

richie
so i'm cute

edwardo🍝
i didn't say that

richie
you thought it

edwardo🍝
well anyway i gotta get to sleep
my mom wants me to

richie
mY mOm wAnTs mE tO

edwardo🍝
shut up

richie
ok i'm sorry eds
good night

edwardo🍝
don't call me that

richie
ok eddie spaghetti

edwardo🍝
no

richie
ok boomer

edwardo🍝
bye