With only dim lighting emitting from closed buildings and street lights, Oliver and Fukase were almost the only people to be roaming around in the city center in the middle of the night. They often used the occasion on weekdays to find themselves alone in places that usually are crowded; it made them feel like this was their world, rather than that they had to share it with people that made their life a living nightmare.

They had just been jumping around and cackled at their teasing game of tickling one another as Fukase halted for a second once they passed a wall full of displays. A set of the latest movies decorated the greyish texture, with mainly vivdly colored posters. Oliver analyzed the posters closer and recognized the titles mostly as the typical superhero movies. Uninterested as he was, he glanced at his lover, but much to his surprise, he found the redhead's eyes glued to the bright shining objects.

"You like those kinds of movies?"

"Yeah!" Fukase exclaimed and a bright smile crept on his face. He stopped to look at the displays a little longer, staring at the protagonists in astonishment. Oliver stopped as well and followed Fukase's gaze. He was never really interested in movies per se, but seeing his lover this excited made him debate to invite him to a surprise visit to the cinema at some point.

"They all just look so amazing," Fukase sighed, his eyes still fixed on the display, "If only I could be like them...I'd love to be the hero of at least one person. Just look at them. They have so many struggles and have to fight so hard just to stay alive, but at the end of the day, they manage to keep their smug smile."

Fukase's head turned to Oliver and he chuckled. "Just like you, you know."

"Huh?" Oliver breathed out and followed Fukase only reluncantly as he started moving forward again. He pulled on the redhead's hand a little before he could get swallowed by the darkness. Fukase turned around and smiled.

"Ah well, you know...you have such a tough life and have to keep fighting all the time yourself. But even so, you always return to me, wearing a smile. You never give up and try to be strong for the both of us."

"I guess I'm trying my best," Oliver mumbled and looked away, unsure how to react to the indirect compliment. He suddenly remembered the many times he had walked up to Fukase's house in the middle of the night – just like earlier – to get the boy out to the real world every now and then. Fukase himself has always worn a smile of his own, but he hadn't seemed to notice.

Oliver flinched as he bumped into Fukase's back, who has stopped walking all of a sudden. He followed the redhead's gaze and found himself in one of the darker areas of the city. The street lights sparsely lit up the road but were almost swallowed by darkness themselves. Oliver shifted uncomfortably to be dwelling in such a place, but Fukase wouldn't budge.

"Do you feel it too?"

Trying to figure out Fukase's expression in the dark, the blond squinted his eyes even harder, but a dim cast covered his lover's face. He gave up eventually and focused on the sudden question. There was not much Oliver was feeling except uneasiness to be in such a vulnerable place. He did take his cutter knife with him that day, but he wasn't in the mood for a possible fight.

"I'm not sure," Oliver mumbled eventually, pressing Fukase's hand tighter, afraid to let it go at this point. Fukase retorted the gesture and breathed out heavily.

"This feels like home. But you know what?" Fukase took Oliver's face in his hands and leaned closer. Oliver made out a vague expression and frowned. Fukase's voice was quivering. "I'm not scared."

Fukase kissed the blond and let go again, looking back out to the darkness. There was silence for a while and Oliver almost wanted to take the opportunity to pull Fukase somewhere else, but his limbs froze. Fukase's hand was cold and stiff; something was off. 

Oliver decided to stay a little longer and help Fukase get out what he struggled with. The redhead was shivering and stuttering, but Oliver ignored it and continued to caress Fukase's hand with his thumb.

"It's alright if you are. This is a scary place," Oliver said softly and pulled his lover closer, surprising him with an embrace. While running his hands across the redhead's back, a few hitched breaths left Fukase's throat. Quickly following, however, he softly shook his head.

"As long as you're here, no one can hurt me." 

Fukase breathed heavily a few times, signaling Oliver that he needed a moment. The blond gently kissed his lover's neck, patiently waiting for him to keep talking. He hadn't noticed it by his own subliminal fear earlier, but this was another one of Fukase's important moments; moments which gave him the strength to be someone who was not completely wrecked.

"You've found me the way I am and still decided to be with me and try your best to make me feel loved. You're the only one who understands me and the only one who doesn't give up on me," Fukase muttered and hugged Oliver tightly. The blond wanted to retort the gesture but the two clinging arms forced his own down. He rested like this for a while until Fukase calmed down again and let loose a little.

"You're more than just my hero who saved me. You're my life, a little spark of hope in this scary darkness."

Oliver lifted up his head and searched for Fukase's face. Holding his lover's hands tightly, the blond leaned his forehead against Fukase's for a while until he stubbed the redhead's cheeks to wipe off the single tears running down his cheeks. The two of them remained like this for a while until Fukase leaned in for a kiss. 

Oliver's body was shivering, as if he took in all of Fukase's anxiety through a mere touch, but he ignored it. This is what Fukase needed, and this is what he would give to him to make sure he was going the right way. At least he was determined this was the right way.

And up until now, Oliver was still feeling that way. He turned around in his bed once again, sighing heavily. His dream had kept him in his bed for a while, unable to move. He has been haunted by the same kinds of dreams and he recognized a certain pattern. It felt more like a vision – a sign for him to know what to do at this point – but Oliver wasn't the kind of person to believe in superstition. 

Even so, the dream did make him ponder over the situation he was conflicted in once again. There was a time he had felt like he had the control over both the relationship and Fukase. He had made sure the redhead was feeling safe and sound and believed in his ways to see he was getting on a better path. He can't remember how it turned out like this.

Oliver sat up and rubbed his eyes. They were burning from exhaustion, but he couldn't get back to sleep now. He dragged himself to the bathroom instead to splash cold water on his face. Looking in the mirror, he sighed. His mirror image distorted day by day and Oliver barely managed to recognize himself at this point. He knew it couldn't go on like this forever. He had to find a way out of the way things were.

He and Fukase haven't talked the past days. Oliver didn't expect his lover to ask him to leave anyway, but he had hoped for some sort of discussion at least. Even though there was no fighting either, the silence in the apartment was just as suffocating. Oliver didn't want things to go on like this for much longer.

Checking the few bullet points on his phone, the blond went through his plan once again. The dreams have been pushing him to see things from a different angle this time and he had the time to think it through thoroughly. Oliver knew that he was talking to Fukase – he wanted to make sure he got his points in his mind before he would approach him.

Once the blond was sure of his intentions, he got out of the bathroom again and headed right into the living room to Fukase's room. Despite the gloomy morning, Oliver suddenly felt fairly energized and enthusiastic to sort things out eventually.

Oliver didn't hesitate to push down the door handle but was surprised to find the door to still be locked. He sighed and knocked a few times, however, there was no reaction.

"Hey, open the door."

There was silence for a while and Oliver pressed his ear against the door to get to listen what was going on inside. He thought he heard Fukase roaming in there a while ago, so he sure was not sleeping.

"I'm busy." Fukase's voice barely fought its way through the wooden barrier. Oliver rolled his eyes, trying to keep up both his determination and confidence to be persistent with his lover this time. Since Fukase had been acting strange but calm after their last argument, this was probably one of the very few times the blond had a chance to get a grasp onto Fukase's mind.

"Fukase, we need to talk."

There was no response for a while again but Oliver waited patiently as he could make out footsteps coming towards the door. He stared down at the door handle, expecting Fukase to be coming out eventually.

"I don't wanna."

"Very good, because I only need you to listen."

Oliver bit his lip, anticipating any kind of reaction from his counterpart. Harsh words like these didn't get to Fukase too much whenever he was at his lowest, but he usually wouldn't push them off like nothing either. Hoping to get the redhead out with vague provocations, Oliver thought of another comeback for whatever Fukase might be saying next.

A sigh echoed through the door. "And what if I'm not willing to, huh? I don't want to see you right now."

Oliver got annoyed at this point. This repetitive set of answers helped him to get Fukase out of his room eventually but he couldn't stand the subtle cockiness in his lover's voice.

"Am I talking to a man or a child?" Oliver grunted and stepped back. It didn't take long for keys to be rustling on the other side of the door. Fukase's head popped out only reluctantly. Waiting for the redhead to be making the next move, he stood there doing nothing. Fukase slowly stepped out of the room towards the dining table visibly uneasy.

"Fine then," Fukase muttered under his breath and sighed as he dropped down on one of the chairs. Oliver took a seat across his lover and smirked. "Thought so."

Fukase didn't look at Oliver at all. His eyes were shifting across the room in all direction except right in front of him. The blond watched the scene in pain for a while until he decided to get to what he had planned earlier.

"You didn't say anything the past days so I assume you don't hate me completely." 

Oliver watched Fukase carefully as his body tensed up for a second. 

"And even though you still believe that I've cheated on you, you won't lose your trust completely as well. I can see that."

Fukase's gaze remained on the table, even as Oliver reached out for the redhead's hands and caressed them.

"I want you to trust me with one more thing as well," Oliver's voice broke off and he gulped. His prior courage has left his body as soon as it was time to approach Fukase with something he never fully dared to speak out loud. However, Oliver saw his only hope in this one direction and he had to take it before it was too late.

Oliver's hesitation bewildered his counterpart. Fukase looked up confused and watched the blond taking deep breaths quietly. He tried to pull away his hands but Oliver tightened his grip around them. After calming down again, he looked up and stared deeply into Fukase's eyes. The redhead shifted in his seat uncomfortably, anxious of what Oliver was referring to.

"I've been enduring your hallucinations all these years and it has gone too far."

Oliver's eyes didn't shift so he could see every little reaction coming from Fukase. As expected, his lover flinched in both surprise and shock to hear of that. However, he didn't dare to do more than just staring at the blond with eyes wide opened. Oliver sighed faintly and gulped. Even though he had been hinting to it every now and then, he already assumed Fukase didn't think all too much of it until now.

"You know about the things you see and hear that don't exist, don't you?"

Oliver leaned closer but Fukase turned his head away, biting his lip hard. He tried to push his partner's fingers away once more, still with no success. Instead, Oliver forced him to stay present even more by turning the redhead's head to look at him. The frightened look on Fukase's face rammed a dagger through his heart but Oliver gulped it away for now. He couldn't leave Fukase in this state. The blond forced a weak smile but it dropped quickly enough again.

"You know, I want to be honest with you," Oliver sighed and pushed Fukase's bangs to the side, hoping to calm his lover down that way. He knew that Fukase would stop listening once he was too scared to focus anymore. Oliver clenched his teeth, knowing he had to push through nevertheless, "You're hurting a lot of people like that. You do and say things you usually would never even think of."

Fukase frowned and leaned back even more. Oliver could tell how distressed he was. He tried to reassure him with caring gestures but it didn't show any effect anymore.

"But people won't stay forever if you keep acting that way. No one is torturing you, you torture yourself with this kind of behavior."

Forcing out those words, Oliver's voice broke off once more. He had to gulp down the tears from dwelling up when just thinking about it thoroughly. Despite the pain Oliver was going through, it hurt him much more to know that his lover was in a lot more pain and he barely knew what to do about it in this position. Before he could get too worked up once again, Oliver quickly forced a smile and tried to keep up the eye contact.

"But it's alright, you know. You hurt me like this every day but I won't go away. I swear to my life that I will never leave you no matter what...because I can actually see through that harsh façade while others can't."

Oliver leaned forward once more to peck Fukase's forehead. He remained this close a little longer and leaned his forehead against the redhead's. While caressing the shivering fingers in his hands, the blond hoped to reassure Fukase a little. The latter had remained quiet all this time, unsure and scared of where the conversation was going. Oliver hushed down the quivering body in his hands a little longer, but Fukase would not calm down.

Oliver leaned back and gave another warm smile. Fukase's eyes were glistering at this point; he was barely holding back his tears as well. However, the blond took Fukase's face in his hands and nudged his lover's stiff cheeks.

"I've seen you blossoming before. Remember a few years back? There were times you were just so happy. And remember why as well?"

Fukase gulped and remained frozen for another while. Only as he slowly averted his eyes, his stiffness slightly loosened. He frowned once again, but there was a hint of a smile hushing across his face as well. "Because you saved me from all that..."

"I still didn't give up on that, you know. I just thought that you might be able to stand on your feet alone at this point, but I was obviously wrong. I'm sorry about it, really."

Fukase looked up, both surprised and confused at the sudden apology, but he kept quiet. Oliver casted another faint smile and pressed his hands lightly, pushing his partner's remaining self-control over its borders. 

As soon as the first hollow sob echoed through the room, tears already started streaming down Fukase's face. He froze in place, averting his face. Oliver frowned pained to see his lover flushed and overwhelmed. He was about to reach out for him once more but faltered at the sudden movement coming from him. Fukase snatched his hands off Oliver's and stood up, still squinting his eyes shut.

Before Oliver had the time to process what was going on, Fukase rushed to him and straddled him in a tight hug. The crying grew ever louder, but the sudden shock inside Oliver overshadowed every sound. He quickly wrapped his arms around Fukase's waist and pulled him closer. The pressure almost choked him but he didn't care.

"I'm so sorry, Oliver. You're really the only one I have in this world and I keep being this cruel to you. How could you...how could I ever forgive myself for that?" Fukase cried and buried his face even deeper in Oliver's shoulder. The blond flinched at the sharp pain but composed himself quickly again.

Fukase's sobs quieted down for a while. Taking a few deep breaths, he barely managed to stutter out his cries. Oliver rubbed the redhead's back, signaling to take his time.

"I'm such a monster, I'm just like mom. I-" Fukase sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes dry. Tears have stopped coming at this point, and there was nothing but this hollow feeling inside of him. "But I can't stop. I don't know what to do. Everything I touch just turns to the worse."

"Don't worry, I'm not giving up. I'll continue to be strong for the two of us and help you get back on track to be happy again. You want to be happy again, don't you?"

He cupped Fukase's face once more and casted an enthusiastic smile. Albeit hesitantly, the redhead dropped out of his paralyzed state and took a few deep breaths, waiting for what Oliver was leading to. The blond bent his head to the side, somewhat subtly content on the inside, and squeezed the face in his hands lightly.

"Then just listen to what I have to say and trust me again. Don't trust your intuition or the voices. They are playing against you as of right now. I know it's hard to, but I need you to keep fighting as well if you want things to get better."

Fukase grimaced and rubbed his eyes once more. A weak nod confirmed that he was indeed listening to Oliver this time and ready for whatever was expecting him. He gulped down the remaining shakiness and intertwined his hands with Oliver's.

"Please help me. Don't give up on me. I've been such a horrible person, but I will do better."

Fukase leaned forward again and leaned his head on Oliver's head. After a few shallow breaths, his sobs quieted down completely. "I don't want to hurt you anymore. I can't take this anymore. Please don't leave me."

Despite the painful truth the two of them have shared eventually, the atmosphere surrounding them wasn't oppressing them anymore. Once Fukase passed out on Oliver from exhaustion, the blond managed to keep up his reassuring gestures and wore a weak but genuine smile. He wasn't sure where they were going at this point, but if he was able to make use of their vicious cycle, he'd take the opportunity to escape it one last time – even if it meant to take control in every little aspect from that on.