A relieved sigh escaped Oliver's throat once his apartment complex came to sight. His legs weren't going to carry him much longer after all that has happened. He had lost track of time without his phone and could only assume that it must have turned late evening by the darkness around him.

He slowed down in his pace once he walked up the stairs to his front door, remembering the scene from a few hours ago. The stairway was quiet as always, but inside his home might be awaiting him a huge storm. Oliver gulped and turned the key in the lock. It would turn two times before the familiar clicking of the lock would let him in; Oliver hesitated. He could have sworn he left the door open when he had ran out earlier.

Once Oliver entered his apartment, he was greeted with silence. The hallway was ravaged with shifted furniture and scattered items. He called out for Fukase but received no response.

Oliver carefully shut the door behind him and fought his way towards the living room. His heart was racing in the mess; this didn't feel like his home. For a moment, Oliver's stomach twisted and he once again wished for nothing but his ordinary life back. He had been complaining about the tiring rhythm in both his and Fukase's life, but it was the only thing that promised him normality—unlike the staggering silence surrounding him.

Oliver peeked in the living room, but nothing was out of the ordinary. He noticed dinner to still be neatly displayed on the dining table, as if it was waiting for him and Fukase to have a meal together just like a few days ago. His eyes shifted off the table and to Fukase's room. The door was closed, making it even rougher on the Oliver's weak nerves.

As soon as he stepped closer, the stench coming from inside forced a gag out of Oliver. He breathed through his mouth a few times and calmed down before pushing the door open. He was greeted by silence once again—Fukase was nowhere in the apartment. 

The slightest struck of relief ran through Oliver's body knowing that his partner was safe in the hospital. He hadn't processed it in the middle of the moment, but on his way home, Oliver has started to worry greatly what kind of effect an overdose had.

He picked up his phone from the bed and checked the time; it was much later than he expected. His weight shifted and his aching limbs dropped on the bed. Oliver crawled up the worn-out mattress and huddled over where Fukase was lying earlier. The sheets were still damp cold from sweat. Oliver would have usually got up and cleaned up the mess, but he couldn't move a muscle at this moment. He just wanted to fall asleep and forget about the remains of the incident. He wanted to feel Fukase's warmth on his back and hear calm breathing, and if he couldn't have that, then he at least wanted to know that Fukase merely was in another room—just any indicator that he didn't need to be scared.

But there was nothing and Oliver knew very well that there was a reason to be scared. Fukase was in the hospital all because of his wrongdoing and he didn't even know how he was doing. Fukase might as well be dead by now. Oliver clenched the pillow in his fist and groaned. His attempt to keep a positive outlook on the future drowned in corrosive images. Fukase was right in front of his eyes, begging him to stay when he was feeling so miserable. He would scream and plead his name over and over but  Oliver couldn't reach out his arm. Even in such a situation, Fukase had worried more than anything about not being left alone, and Oliver couldn't give him that one wish.

He wanted to beat himself up for it so badly. What had seemed like the best possible decision a few hours ago left nothing but bitter regret. He thought he was sane and mature enough to know what to do with both his and Fukase's life once he had the control, but only now he noticed how wrong he was about it. Instead, the blame was now all on him.

Oliver stared at the wall and focused to squeeze out a few tears, but there was nothing. More than anything else he hoped to cry out all the pain in his body but he was left alone with suffocating emptiness instead. He rolled on his back and picked his phone back up. When not even curses of regrets and guilt wanted to cascade down on him, he at least wanted to find out what was happening to Fukase.

However, dialing the hospital number didn't keep up his hope for long, as no one picked up. He almost assumed that it was too late for a regular call, but he couldn't tame his worries regardless. He made a mental note to call the next day and see what was going on.

Oliver stared another few minutes up the ceiling, unsure what to do with himself. The empty feeling in his body shackled him to the bed. No matter how hard he pushed and forced out just any sort of thoughts and emotions, nothing other than his deep wish to be close to Fukase now would disturb him. Holding him in his arms and getting to hear that he and Oliver were both doing fine was the only thing he needed at the moment, but Oliver didn't let himself mourn about it for too long—it probably was his punishment for leaving Fukase alone earlier.

Oliver's eyelids grew heavy during his never-ending battle with himself and he just wanted to fall asleep on the spot but couldn't leave the mess lying on the floor next to him like this. Even breathing through the mouth couldn't stop him from feeling nauseated. Oliver rolled over and pressed his hand over his mouth and nose when finding vomit spread over half the side of the floor. Given the circumstances of the rest of the apartment, he wasn't much surprised to see that the bedroom turned into a much greater mess, but it didn't leave his stomach unfazed either way.

There was a dull burn in Oliver's throat and he quickly forced himself to swallow as often as possible while fiddling his legs out of the blanket. He quickly tore open the windows and hurried into the bathroom, just to make sure to not make an even bigger mess if he had to throw up himself. A few blows of fresh air and a bit of water settled Oliver back to normal and he picked up what he needed to clean up.

It didn't take long and usually wouldn't rob too much of his energy, but Oliver was at his limit of breaking down at this point. His legs were barely carrying him anymore and prolonged the torturous process to a point when he would pass out before he could even find his way to his own bedroom. 

Oliver woke up with a horrible headache and a burning throat. Yesterday's happenings tore on his body more than he realized and he could barely move with the pain following him each step. He didn't wait long to take pain killers. A glance at his phone promised him that it was late enough for him to get up right away and head to the hospital. He needed to see Fukase before doubts could even built up in his head, and the mere thought of being reunited soon eased his mind back to normal.

He quickly got his wallet and keys and walked out—he couldn't bother neither changing nor taking a shower at this point and he was sure Fukase wouldn't care either. His body complained right away but at least he had the chance to take the car this time. A relieved sigh escaped his lips as he dropped down on the seat and leaned his head back. With his eyes closed, Oliver took a while to both prepare for what was awaiting him, as well as calming down from the increasing shakiness in his limbs.

However, his nervousness didn't wear off and followed Oliver up until he arrived at the hospital and got out of the car. Only then, the persistent worries vanished all at once and left him with emptiness once again. Oliver gulped hard as he walked up to the reception; he hasn't been in a hospital in years and barely knew what to do to see Fukase.

The receptionist returned back to his seat and greeted him. Oliver mumbled a greeting back and asked whether Fukase was stationed here at all. He gained a wary glance in exchange. His eyes shifted away awkwardly.

"I'm his partner," Oliver muttered and handed him his ID. He looked around, hoping to find his partner roaming in the hallways while the receptionist registered him.

"Alright, I'll let the chief physician know. I can't give you the room number but head up two floors and to the very right. It's best you go there directly."

The receptionist handed him back his card and Oliver stepped away bewildered. He didn't expect to not be allowed to go to Fukase directly. While it hurt him to hear that Fukase must have declared that himself, it was just as relieving to know now that Fukase was conscious to even make such a request.

He shook off his thoughts and searched for the next elevator. Talking to the doctor might give him more of an idea what was going on. Once he reached his destination, he sighed relieved to have found the presumed person right away. The enormity of this hospital intimidated him enough and he wanted to wander around as little as possible. He suddenly felt timid either way to be standing next to someone so much more responsible than he was.

"Excuse me," Oliver exclaimed and the stranger turned to him, "Lynch here. I was told to come and see you."

"Ah, yes, I just got the call," The doctor said and lead the two of them away from the hallway, "First off, I didn't really get your legitimate status. You're the patient's partner in what way?"

"Registered partner," Oliver said and bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to hold back with questions, but couldn't force himself to do so eventually, "What happened with Fukase?"

"I'm afraid I can't inform you about it out of data protection."

"Did he tell you not to say anything to me?"

A dagger pierced through his heart when hearing the same thing from the doctor again. However, the following headshake calmed down his nerves again.

"He didn't give any comment on that. His respective medical assistant can ask him about it later. There's another reason why I wanted to talk to you, Mr. Lynch, beforehand." The doctor looked up and offered Oliver to sit down, but he didn't move. The vague wording paralyzed his limbs right away. The man nodded and continued.

"Have you noticed any change in behavior the past weeks?"

Oliver hesitated. It was obvious that Fukase had been going through different stages of behavior the past weeks, but he wasn't sure how much he could talk about before he would get either him or Fukase in even further trouble. He slowly shook his head for now, but his counterpart didn't seem too convinced.

"You see, we've just been wondering how it even came to that accident. Do you know what happened?"

Oliver shook his head again and gulped. His heart pounded against his chest as he noticed the grave mistake he had made yesterday. Oliver shot up a few mental prayers that Fukase didn't tell anyone that he had walked off with him in need to help; that would get him to jail in no time.

"Our team has found him with an overdose. As much as it could have been an accident like he told us, we have to consider other possibilities as well."

"I see," Oliver retorted and nodded weakly. He expected that topic to come up eventually but his preparation was of no use as his mind went completely blank in the same moment. He forced himself to come up with anything to say before it would raise even more suspicion.

"I can't imagine that he would try to commit suicide though. He was acting just as usual. Why would he do that all of a sudden?" Oliver raised his voice, now shaking in worry. He hasn't really contemplated that Fukase had any ulterior motives but once he heard it out of someone else's mouth, it sounded too reasonable. After what Fukase has been going through for years and years—especially the past weeks—Oliver couldn't completely deny the possibility.

Oliver stumbled on the spot under the swaying floor. He noticed a grip on his arm and followed the pressure on it to the next bench. He took a few deep breaths but the knot in his chest would not loosen up.

"We can't say for sure yet, but it's an option we have to consider. No need to worry about it now, though. Your partner is kept under surveillance to make sure that nothing can happen."

"I want to talk to him," Oliver squeezed out inbetween his clenched jaw, with his eyes still on the floor. The urge to go and see Fukase has taken over his entire mind; he couldn't wait any longer.

"I'll let them know. Stay here until then and we'll bring you to him if he's okay with it." The doctor stood up and reached out his hand towards Oliver. He looked up only hesitantly. "I have to leave again but we'll keep you updated."

Oliver shook hands with the doctor and watched him walk off. Fukase's words after his nightmare came back to mind. They didn't carry much weight in the moment, but only now Oliver felt like they were the last string of hope Fukase had thrown his way. And Oliver had pushed them off as nothing. He buried his face in his hands and sighed. As much as he didn't want to overthink the situation before talking to Fukase first, he couldn't stop jumping to conclusions.

Time didn't want to pass as Oliver waited for someone to bring him to Fukase. After he has been sitting there for almost an hour, he decided to go back down to the reception. He was praying that they merely forgot about him rather than finding out that Fukase intentionally didn't let him visit. And in fact, a quick chatter with the man from earlier eased his nerves that there has just been a delay. Once he told him the room number, Oliver hurried over, barely able to hold back his nervousness. His prior thoughts have only deepened his urge to see his partner and to clear up any misunderstandings.

Oliver knocked on the door as soon as he found the room, impatiently waiting a moment before entering. He scanned the room and locked eyes with the staff. She casted him a quick smile and then dedicated her attention back on the folder in her hands. Only as Oliver walked into the room, he found Fukase lying in one of the beds. He called out the his name, but Fukase turned his head to the side only weakly.

Oliver hurried over to the edge of the bed and frowned. Fukase was looking at him but his eyes were hollow. His lips curved to a brief smile and then sunk back down. Shaky fingers stroke across Fukase's cheek and shuddered at the warmth. Oliver scanned his limbs for any injuries, but there was nothing abnormal except for a few tubes attached to his arm.

"He might be a little drowsy," The nurse answered the worried expression in Oliver's face. "We had to give him meds after the fits he has since yesterday."

"He was acting up?" Oliver frowned confused. It was obvious that Fukase had been upset but he couldn't picture him in the right state to do much harm. The nurse nodded.

"Our ambulance team reported that he has resisted quite a lot to come along, and even this morning he was trying to go back home again." She folded the plastic cover of the info tag back to the outside. "He wanted to see you. Oliver, isn't it?"

He nodded and looked back at Fukase who hasn't averted his face off him yet. The empty look of it stole a few moments until louder rustling echoed in the room, and Oliver watched the woman slowly leaving the room.

"One more thing, please," Oliver exclaimed, and the nurse turned back to him, "What is going to happen to him now?"

"He's had a gastrolavage once he got admitted so now we're just checking that his ions ratio gets back in balance. Oh, and we'll see about what you talked about with the doctor."

She gave him a warning glance and then left the room, leaving the two men alone. Oliver turned back to Fukase, both relieved and overwhelmed to see him like this. Fukase leaned his head back on the pillow and rose an eyebrow.

"What was she talking about?"

Oliver faltered, remembering the nurse's glance. "Oh, nothing special."

They stared into each other's eyes for a while until Oliver couldn't hold back any longer and leaned forward. He lifted up his hand and placed it on his partner's shoulder.

"Can I?" He stuttered out, unsure about where his standpoint was with Fukase. After he had left him alone, he wasn't sure how his counterpart was feeling. The drowsy aura around them didn't give much information about it either. Fukase nodded weakly and accepted the hug.

Oliver pressed the fragile body tightly against his, seeking to take in every trace of warmth emitting from it. It has barely been a day but he missed to have Fukase this close to him. Only the weak groans coming from his partner urged Oliver to loosen his grip again, but he had trouble letting go completely. He buried his head in Fukase's shoulder and held the tilting head close to his own.

Oliver recalled how well he had managed to bottle up the whirlpool of emotions raging inside him, but once he could sit close to Fukase again and finally take one careful breath of relief, there was no holding back his tears. Fukase remained still and let the blond get rid of his pain but barely managed to console him much. His free arm slowly travelled up Oliver's back and he held him lightly, waiting until his partner has calmed down again and pulled away.

"I've missed you so much," Oliver stuttered out under his sobs and rubbed his eyes. He wiped away the remaining tears on his face and quickly calmed down from his outburst. However, looking into his partner's eyes filled him with a new pain.

Fukase frowned, looking just as bothered and breathed in shakily. His eyes turned to the window as he opened his mouth.

"Why did you leave me?"

Oliver froze for a second, processing what his lover was referring to. As soon as he caught up again, he jumped up.

"I didn't! See, I'm back again," Oliver smiled with a frown and grabbed Fukase's hand, turning all attention back on him. "I just had to calm down again."

Fukase stared at him and then down on his hand. Oliver still didn't let go of it.

"I was scared."

Oliver stayed quiet, unsure of what to say. The empty expression on Fukase's face unsettled him. He knew it was because of the medication but seeing Fukase overly calm and monotone was tearing on his nerves.

He cupped Fukase's face in his hands, forcing him to lock eyes. Oliver couldn't quite hide his pained frown and breathed in shakily. Another wave of tears awaited him.

"I'm so sorry, Fukase. I know I should have listened to you better. And I should have been there for—"

"It's alright," Fukase interrupted with a stern tone in his voice, startling the blond. He reached for Oliver's hands and dragged them down on the sheets, maintaining eye contact the entire time. "I caused you pain again, so I broke my end of the promise as well...again."

Fukase's eyes drifted back to the window; they were glistening in the light.

"I can't even do one thing right, huh?"

"No, don't say that. This is not your fault."

Oliver pulled on Fukase's arms lightly to get him to look back at him. The sad look in them tore on his heart, but he gulped away the feeling before he couldn't speak up again. 

"Forget what I said yesterday. I was just upset."

He pulled Fukase in an embrace once again, despite the initial resistance he received on Fukase's side. Stroking his partner's back reassuringly, he hoped to give his words more sincerity.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. You confessed to me how scared you were and I wasn't there for you the right way. You must have felt so left lonely, but you're not alone in this."

Fukase still didn't move but just let his partner do what he needed to do. The numbness in his head blocked the words away but he tried to accept the gesture nevertheless. Only as Oliver seemed to have calmed down again, he looked up and rested his chin on his shoulder.

"When will this end?'

Oliver squeezed Fukase's hands even tighter as those words echoed through his head. The pained undertone in them choked him on his own tongue. He tried to gulp down the lump, but his throat merely went dry. Holding Fukase in his arms for a while was the only thing that calmed him down again, despite the radiating apathy. Oliver felt a spark of ambiguity spreading in his chest. They haven't reached the end yet.

"Soon. Whatever it is that's keeping us that way, it won't last long anymore."