ii. promises
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Since it was the last day at school, all my classmates were excited for our graduation party, and for that very reason I wanted to skip it. Some were just excited to be done with school, but I didn't know what to feel.

While everyone was discussing about what university they applied into or what scholarships they got; I thought of what it would be like, if I had made different choices at certain points in my life. I was too absorbed with my present, to be bothered about my future.

The walk back from school was filled with my thoughts and slowly when I looked up, I was already standing in front of the main door. I noticed that Luke's bike wasn't parked outside, confirming he wasn't home yet. Opening the door to my house I called, "I'm back." Into the empty hallways.

I don't even know why I bothered going to school. At least I could say I'm done with basic studies. And since government schools were free, well it was more than I could ask.

I kicked an empty beer can and made my way towards the kitchen, flinging my bag on the couch. Opening the fridge, I raided it for anything edible to eat. I found an apple and grabbed it, shutting the door with my hip.

"I'm going for a walk." I yelled again, my voice echoing as I made my way out of the house. Walking down the pavement, I pulled on my hoodie over my head and made my way to the garage.

After Mark passed away, I still visited the garage — where he used to work — even though it had almost been half a year, 5 months to be exact. How could I not? I knew most of the people here and they had unknowingly become close to me.

I took the left ally, reaching the garage and heard a loud laugh that I immediately recognised. I pictured that specific red beard man holding his pot belly and laughing. I knew it was his laugh, he was almost like a father to me, I could recognise Carl's voice anywhere.

"Wanna share the joke?" I asked, once I spotted the group of grownups all sitting beside a parked car — that was kept there for repair — enjoying their short break.

"Hey Beatrice!" Carl called out. "It's nice to see you kid. Come here." He patted the spot on the dusty ground where he was sitting. I made my way there with a huge smile on my face.

"We were just talking about how Jake tried flying on that bike over there." Garry, a bald chubby man pointed at the bike that looked pretty messed up sitting at the side.

"How did he fall?" I asked, eying the bike curiously.

"The chap never learns. He was trying his stunts when he went off balance. Messed up his pretty face." Carl answered back scratching his face.

I looked at the man with wide eyes and immediately thought of Luke. He was also involved in bike races, just like Jake. The only difference was that Luke was the youngest among all of the others I had met here. At only twenty-one he was already a pro at motorbike racing—so I've heard, especially from Mark. I had been to few of these races, when things weren't so messed up.

I looked a little uncomfortable when Carl said, "Chill kid. It's not that bad." As he patted my head, I sighed.

Wanting to distract myself from thoughts about Luke, I asked Garry to pass me a beer as I joined them in their conversation. The staff here were very dear to me, they were the closest to family I'll ever have. If I ever felt down, I just had to make my way here and they would always cheer me up.

It was funny, this one time when Carl called up school to tell them I couldn't make it because I was sick. I had actually spent the whole day in the garage with them sharing beers. Mark had flipped when he found out I skipped school when he arrived here for work. Those were good times.

As we were talking and laughing, I had completely lost track of time. But one look at the watch hung up on the greasy wall, and I knew it was time to make my way back. The sun was almost setting, painting they sky a beautiful orange.

I stood up and dusted my jeans, "I'll be leaving now. See ya." I waved at them making my way out. They all said their goodbyes as I turned around to leave.

But before I could make my way out, I clashed into someone. That someone was strong, because I almost fell on my arse, but I caught my balance quickly. I looked up irritated and came in contact with a very familiar pair of dark eyes. When I looked closely, they were grey, but they looked almost black because of the intensity it held. I cleared my throat and took a step back for my own stability.

He looked at me with an annoyed frown, mirroring my own expression. The moment I opened my mouth to say something, he switched his eyes to look behind me, over my shoulder and asked, "What is a child doing in a place like this?"

I glared at him making my eyes into slits. How dare him! I was eighteen, for crying out loud!

"Oh Jared, meet Beatrice. She's Mark's kid sister." Carl said laughing making his way towards us. He stood beside me and I looked up at him in confusion. Did they know each other? He also introduced me as "Mark's sister". That only meant one thing, he knew my brother. But then, did Mark also know him? I looked back at Jared and saw him staring at me like as if he was trying to make a connection. I could almost hear the wheels in his brain spinning.

"So that's why you got into Luke's house the other day?" Jared asked his jaw clenching.

So, he knew Luke too. Interesting.

"Do I know you?" was my blunt reply as I raised my eyebrow. "No. So, I don't think I should explain anything to you." I said folding my hands in front of me.

If Jared worked here, why haven't I seen him before? It did not make any sense. I knew Mark had friends, but was Jared also one of Mark's friends?

I knew Luke was Mark's best friend. That's the reason we had agreed to stay in his house in the first place. But neither of them had mentioned anyone else. That's what made me alert. I straightened my back and stared back. I didn't like that he knew things about me, but I barely even knew who he was. I just learnt his name, and it wasn't him who introduced himself too.

Carl looked at both of us and asked, "Was I late for the introduction? It seems like you know each other already."

"I don't know her."

"I don't know him." Our responses came out together.

Huh. Such a rude boy. As expected, I thought as I gave him a disgusted look.

"Just because I was drunk, I was good to you. I was stupid and naïve the other night, but I was drunk then. So, excuse me while I leave while I'm sober." I said as I flipped my hair and I was ready to leave when he spoke.

"Who said anything about you being good? Naïve, well that's a different story." He smirked.

"Well, I'll get going. It looks like you guys don't need me here." Carl cleared his throat and we both snapped to look at him. He put his hands up in surrender and walked outside. I hadn't even realised he was still there.

I pressed my lips together before saying, "Well I hope we never see each other again. Bye stranger." I had just taken one step around him when Jared grabbed my wrist and turned me around.

"Do you know Luke? Are you living with him?" He asked as his deep voice became a little harsher.

"Are you always this entitled?" I asked cocking my head to the right.

He looked dumbly at me and then blinked once, twice, thrice. "Huh?"

"You should touch some grass, get in touch with reality. Have you tried meditation?" I asked again, straightening my back.

"Are you crazy?" He asked giving me an incredulous look.

"Are you slow then? I said I don't have to explain anything to you."

"Fine." He let go of my wrist and said, "Your brother never thought that Luke would turn out to be a fucking bastard. He would have never let you near him otherwise."

He turned around and walked into the garage not bothering to look back at me. I could feel the tears in my eyes and the heaviness of his words hurt. I wiped my tears and turned around too, making my way back home, hoping that this was all just a bad dream.

***

Maybe it was time to let go, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Where would I go if he's not here, with me? I needed him. He was the only one who kept me sane from this life.

I chocked; it was becoming hard to breathe. Everything around me was crumbling, falling down. I could feel my heart ripping into pieces. The pain was unbearable, but the sight in front of me was worse. I fell on the dirty ground, clutching the cloth of my black dress in my hands because if I didn't hold onto something, I knew everything would fall apart. Everything would break. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. No one would understand, no one could understand.

I looked at his pale face in the coffin one last time; I got up, turned around, and ran. That's all I could do, for now. I couldn't see him anymore. I needed him next to me, not there lying still and cold.

I would trade my life with his if I could. Mark was smart, he had a passion in music, no one else I knew ever had, and he worked hard to feed my sorry arse. And me, I took everything for granted, blaming my family for the state we lived in. It was my entire fault, for not seeing the signs before. Maybe I could've saved him.

Maybe life had a twisted way of seeing things. Just when I thought Mark and I could leave this crazy life behind and start fresh, everything just crashed in front of my eyes.

When I knew I was far away from the graveyard, I wiped my tears away. Dipping my hands in the pocket of my dress, I removed the item that was wrapped in paper that Mark had given me just the day before he left me alone in this world.

I picked up the guitar pick from the paper and took a long breath, twisting the guitar pick in my hands looking at it. This was one of Mark's favourites; I always thought he would want to give this one in particular to Luke, but he gave it to me. I spotted the lyrics to a song on the paper, but that's when I heard footsteps, like a person was running and came to a stop right behind me. I crushed the paper in my hands and stuffed it into my pocket. I heard the birds chirp and the wind blowing, realising that the day just had to be a sunny one. Oh, sweet irony.

Looking up at the sky, I closed my eyes and let the cool air hit my face.

"You shouldn't have followed me. You need to be by his side when they bury him." I said keeping my eyes closed.

"He would want me to follow you, instead of standing there and not knowing what you would do." He replied.

"I'm not that reckless." I opened my eyes and turned around to face him. Looking up to see Luke's concerned face. He took two steps closer to me and hugged me without a word.

"I know. But... Just don't go running next time." He let out a sigh. "I made a promise."

***

Maybe I am reckless. The moment I entered this house, the only thing that came to my mind was pack all my things and run. Run anywhere, far away. I was hanging by a single thread and just a final tug at the string and it would be broken. I wouldn't hesitate to run then; out of this place, out of my so-called home and away from Luke.

I needed time to clear off my mind so I had gone straight up my room.

I was laying on my bed now staring at the ceiling, listening to the song lyrics on the recorder that were scribbled on the paper that Mark left me. It was loud enough to fill the lonely house with some kind of sound. And besides, I loved my music loud.

Promises by Eric Clapton was playing when I heard the main door of the house slam open. I sat up hearing his voice yelling, "What the hell! Shut that crap Beatrice, before I come up and shut it for you." I frowned. Yeah, he was in a bad mood, alright. When was he not?

Getting off of my bed, I reached the recorder, picked the needle off the vinyl, and stopped the music. Better silence, than facing Luke's music. I took the duvet and tried sleeping again. I tossed and turned but I wondered what Luke was doing downstairs.

So, I got up and headed downstairs. It was already getting dark and I had to see if we had anything we could eat for dinner too anyway. When I reached the dark living room, I saw Luke passed out on the couch with the TV left on some sports channel. A lit-up cigarette was hanging between his fingers dangerously close to the carpeted floor. What an idiot. Did he want to burn us alive?

I walked up to him pulled the cigarette away from his hands and crushed it in the ashtray. I went to the small cabinet in the far corner of the room and took out the blanket. Making my way towards him, I threw the blanket on him and headed for the kitchen. I took the can of iced-tea from the fridge and went up to my room, but not before pausing near Luke and whispering a 'Good night' with a small kiss on his forehead.

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