She didn't return until early Wednesday morning, either, but what was perhaps the worst part was how Gerard grew so easily into acceptance of his mother's absence and how he adjusted to it, because it was wrong, and he wanted things back to how they were, but there was also the part of him that relished in his ability to just go out for a walk on the beach at one in the morning with no regard for consequence.

Kat didn't even question him when he made his way past their room and towards the door; Kat knew where he was going, Kat knew he'd come back in a few hours - Gerard was predictable, his whole life seemed to be little more than a series of intricate patterns, and Kat knew them well, Kat knew him well.

Kat was sat in their room, with the door open for once in their life, because they could, and they were appreciating the breeze coming from the big window in the kitchen, also with all the light coming in from the hallway it was just giving them generally better selfie lighting which was always a priority. Gerard wasn't really sure what they were doing; he didn't want to ask, but their room smelled of beer and they kept laughing at regular intervals - they were happy, at least.

Gerard was just a little more focused on himself in that moment, however, grabbing his camera as he made it out the front door, locking it behind him, and just standing in the porch light for a moment, inhaling the air, and stretching his arm out into the night air and smiling as he felt rain upon his skin; the air was oddly humid, and it wasn't too cold, which baffled Gerard entirely, but he embraced the weather, and even went as far as to roll up the sleeves of his plaid shirt and let the water make contact with his skin.

it was comforting, but not significantly so; rain water wasn't the same as salt water and the ocean, and the feeling of tide, and the great vastness and expanse of it all, but still, Gerard could appreciate the rain upon his skin, even if it did annoy him as to just how quickly his hair grew wet and stringy, however, this was probably doing some good for it, as he reckoned he hadn't washed his hair in entirely too long now.

He ended up pulling his fringe away from his face with his fingers, tucking it behind his ears, and not giving much of a fuck as to quite how ridiculous he would inevitably look, because it was one in the morning, it was dark and there was no one around, and that was indeed just how Gerard liked it.

He soon reached the beach, making his way down to the tide and stopping himself at the thought of taking his shoes off and walking into the ocean, perhaps a little deeper this time; his head echoing with Frank's words about following him and how much truth it could possibly hold.

He stepped back for a moment, perplexed, because although Frank wasn't around, he cared about him, and he felt that in some weird way, they'd made some sort of promise to one another there, and Gerard felt obliged to keep such a promise.

He sat down on the sand just a few steps away from the tide instead, deciding to push all thoughts of Frank and the bottom of the ocean out of his mind, as he forced himself to focus on his camera and how clear the sky and the moon was that night, creating light and reflections upon the water and causing the waves to glisten as they rolled over the horizon - it was beautiful, but Gerard knew that the day when he wouldn't find beauty in the ocean would come some time in November, some time in November when he found himself at the bottom of a lake or perhaps in a coffin, with eyes closed tightly forever, never to see the beauty of the waves again.

The thought unnerved him for a moment, having never of thought of it that way, but he knew what was going to do come November 1st - there wasn't much questioning anymore. He snapped another photo of the ocean when the space beside him was suddenly filled, causing Gerard to jump a little.

"Hey," a familiar voice began, reaching out, but not quite touching Gerard, "it's me, Frank." Gerard made out a familiar smile in the darkness and eased up a little, shuffling back closer to Frank and taking another shot of the ocean before putting his camera down. "Didn't know you were a photographer." Frank added.

"I'm not really." Gerard blushed a little, thankful that in the darkness it didn't show, "I just take photos."

"A photographer is someone who takes photos, in the same way an artist is someone who makes art, or a smoker is someone who smokes. You get what I mean?" Frank asked, leaning into Gerard's side a little as he spoke.

"A photographer is someone who gets paid for taking photos-"

"That's a professional photographer. It's like, a smoker doesn't get paid to smoke- well, fuck I wish I did, but you know, I doubt anyone's going to pay me to fuck up my lungs." Frank laughed a little as he spoke.

Gerard smiled, nodding a little, "okay, I guess, I guess I'm a photographer then..." he paused, "I guess I'm an artist too. I tend to draw from my photos."

"Really?" Frank exclaimed, "that's so cool, I'd love to see your stuff some time, if you want, that is."

"I could show you it now, if you want," Gerard began, feeling suddenly so confident around Frank, "my house is like, one minute away, and it's only Kat in there, so you can just come over at one in the morning."

"That'd be nice, you know, because the rain is really fucking up my hair right now, and I really can't see that cute face of your as well when it's this dark, which is really tragic." Frank giggled, getting to his feet, and leaving Gerard to blush in the darkness before getting to his feet too.

"Why did you come out here if you hate the rain so much then?" Gerard asked.

"Truth be told, I was hoping to see you. I couldn't sleep and I was bored, and I like talking to you, so you were either here or in your house literally a minute away, and well, this really made my life easier than trying to break into your house to see you or something."

"Oh come on, that's a lie." Gerard laughed it off, blushing once more.

"I told you, Gerard, I would never lie to you."

-

The two made it inside to find the kitchen light on and Kat sat on one of the cabinets with their cellphone in their hands, and a can of beer beside them.

Kat hadn't quite noticed Gerard and Frank's sudden entrance, consumed in one text message displayed upon their phone screen, and just how the fuck they were supposed to react to that, however they soon found their attention draw to the sound of the front door slamming behind Gerard and Frank as the two made their way into the part of the kitchen illuminated with light.

Kat just looked at Frank, their eyes a little wider than usual, struggling to comprehend some form of response, because this wasn't Gerard, well not in the fact that Frank physically wasn't Gerard, which was also true, but Gerard hadn't been out there nearly long enough, and Kat had never expected him to have company, even if it was Frank.

Because it was becoming all too obvious that Frank was more than just another guy to Gerard, and really, Kat didn't quite know what to make of that at all.

"Oh... hey..." They got down from the counter, leaving their cellphone beside the beer as they made their way across the room to Frank and Gerard, "didn't think you'd be back so soon. You didn't tell me you were meeting Frank, either."

"Oh, it wasn't a planned thing." Frank explained, "I just came looking for him, I mean I couldn't sleep and Gerard's the only person I know who's going to be awake and sober at one in the morning, also I do quite like spending time with him, you know?"

"So you went through the whole town looking for him?" Kat narrowed their eyes, somewhat skeptical.

"No," Frank smiled," I went to the beach and he was there, he's either there or at home, isn't he?"

Kat nodded, pulling their gaze across to meet Gerard's, and watching the way their brother seemed to look at Frank as if they placed all the trust in the world in him; it unnerved Kat, because this was all too soon and they didn't want to be negative, but they knew that this couldn't end well.

"It was raining so," Gerard piped up, "I mean, I don't mind, but Frank did and he wanted to see my art and photos and things."

"And you're okay with that?" Kat raised their eyebrows, directing the question at Gerard as if Frank weren't present.

"Yeah, he's Frank." Gerard said it as if it was just obvious, and it was perhaps only in that moment that Kat realised just what kind of bond had somehow formed between the two.

"Okay," Kat turned back to the countertop and the message, that they'd found themselves forgetting briefly as they fussed over Gerard, perhaps even excessively so, but with Gerard, the thing was, you had to care too much. "I need to talk to you at some point, though..." they trailed off, glancing between the cellphone and Gerard.

"What about?" Gerard asked.

"I'll tell you later-"

"Is it because Frank's here? Do you not like him or something, because you're being weird, Kat, you really are-"

"Don't fucking-"...tell me I'm being weird. Kat cut themselves off, biting their bottom lip, because fuck no, they were just worked up, and they didn't need to get Gerard in a state, and the contents of the message would just upset him, and Frank was here, and Frank wouldn't have a fucking clue what to do when Gerard curled up and didn't talk to anyone for the next few hours. Fuck, Gerard didn't even need to know, not yet, because Kat could still fix this, right?

They hadn't even replied yet.

"Don't fucking... make assumptions..." Kat continued, sighing a little, "it's nothing, I'm just overreacting."

"Kat?"

"You were right, I'm sorry, I'm just dubious about," they looked across at Frank, "well, it's different between you and Frank, isn't it?"

Gerard nodded, "yeah I think so."

"I'm sorry." Kat forced a smile, "his art is amazing, by the way, what he lets me see of it, anyway." They directed their last few words at Frank and turned back to the cellphone and the message upon it reading the following.

'I'm sorry. I can't come back. Tell Gerard I love him. I love you too Kat. -Dad'

And it was of course the use of their name that had Kat utterly baffled, because fuck, had it really taken this much? Had it really fucking been this hard to use the name Kat instead of Mikey? Or was he just trying to get on their good side, so they wouldn't hate him for this? Fucking probably, and Kat knew it as they downed a little more beer, but fuck this all, because he couldn't go; Kat had to convince him otherwise, for Gerard.

And not because Kat had ever felt any emotion towards their father at all, because they were absolutely stubborn in the fact that they hadn't.

-

Frank closed Gerard's bedroom door behind him, watching as the seventeen year old made his way over to the desk by the window and picked out one of several notebooks on top of it.

"It's beautiful," the words slipped from Frank's lips as he found himself fixated up the multitude of pictures stuck to Gerard's wall above his desk. Gerard jumped a little at Frank's voice, turning and following his gaze back to the photos. "The ocean." Frank added as explanation, "you also."

Gerard blushed again, sitting down on the bed with the sketchbook in his hands, "you're beautiful too, so you can stop making me blush, because it's not fair."

Frank laughed a little as he sat down beside Gerard, "I'm just letting you know, because I don't know if you've noticed, but every time I tell you that you're beautiful, you seem to believe it just a little bit more, and that's really fucking important."

"Are you brainwashing me or something?" Gerard asked, looking up at Frank with those beautiful fucking eyes.

"Of course not." Frank smiled, shuffling closer to Gerard and glancing towards the book in his hands, "so, can I see your art?"

"Tell me you're not brainwashing me." Gerard interrupted him, looking up at Frank. "I just... I get-"

"It's fine, Gerard, it's fine. I promise, I'm not brainwashing you. You are beautiful."

Gerard sat there for a moment, smiling to himself before leaning his head against Frank's shoulder, "you're beautiful too."

Frank blushed a little, "but speaking of beautiful things, your art."

-

"It's not that special." Gerard insisted, letting Frank take the sketchbook from his hands and biting his lip a little as he watched the younger boy open the book and smile.

"It's special." Frank glanced at Gerard, before moving his gaze back to the painted picture of the ocean, "you're really talented. You can just feel the ocean, you know?" Frank turned the page to reveal another very similar drawing, different only slightly in the angle and the colour of the sky. "You really like the ocean, don't you?" Frank asked as he turned to the next work.

"It's calming..." Gerard trailed off, fidgeting a little with his fingers, "I just- I just-"

"Hey?" Frank turned, sensing the anxiety suddenly present in Gerard's voice, "I didn't mean anything bad by that. The ocean is beautiful, like you-"

"Stop it." Gerard groaned, taking his sketchbook back and looking down at his art, "I really like drawing the ocean, you know?"

"Well, I'm pretty crap at art myself, but..." Frank smiled, leaning closer to Gerard, "but I get you."

Gerard smiled, closing the book and putting it to the side, before leaning back into Frank, this time just a little closer. "Thank you." He uttered.

"What for?" Frank asked, gently brushing Gerard's hair from his face, stop instantly as he felt Gerard tense up a little.

"It's okay," Gerard reassured him, "I just get nervous when I don't expect it," he paused as Frank's hand made its way back to Gerard's hair, "for understanding. That's what the thank you was for." He added.

"It's okay. You're welcome." Frank smiled, "can I ask you about Kat? Because they seem to think something's weird here, you know what I mean?"

Gerard nodded, "yeah, I don't know why. They said everything was alright though now didn't they? So I guess they changed their mind, which is really great, because I like you a lot, Frank, and I want them to like you too."

Frank paused, wondering whether to tell Gerard that he thought Kat was lying, Gerard deserved to know, but he just looked so peaceful and content in that moment that Frank reckoned he'd save it until the morning, or tomorrow, or something like that.

"I like you too, Gerard." Frank smiled, feeling Gerard lean into him further, and yes, on the inside, Frank was dying and stabbing himself in several places because fuck his entire existence because Gerard Way was seriously so fucking precious.

"I'm tired," Gerard let out a sigh, moving away from Frank a little and stretching as they did so.

"Do you want me to go?" Frank asked, moving to get to his feet, when Gerard reached out, placing his hand on Frank's.

"Please don't." His tone was quiet, but full of emotion, and Frank reckon his heart stopped just right about then.

"Okay." Frank smiled, turning back to face Gerard.

"Thank you." Gerard smiled, lying down on the bed, and gesturing for Frank to lie beside him.

Frank shrugged off his hoodie, putting it at the end of the bed, before moving next to Gerard, his face only centimeters away, and fuck, he'd really misjudged how close they were.

"Night, Frank." Gerard let out a sigh, rolling onto his back and in the process of doing so, moving even closer to Frank so they were touching.

"Night Gerard," Frank added, closing his eyes, and praying to god he had a PG-13 rated dream.

-

Frank awoke only several hours later to someone shaking his side, he jumped a little, rolling to the edge of the bed as he did so, forcing his eyes open to find Kat stood at the side of the bed with a frantic look in their eyes.

"Try not wake Gerard up, but mum's home, and you should go." Kat glanced at Gerard, curled up and sleeping peacefully.

Frank nodded, grabbing his hoodie and getting to his feet, glancing back at Gerard as he did so; he wanted to say goodbye or something, but he doubted that Kat would be particularly fond of the idea.

"Just go out the window," Kat gestured to the room across Gerard's bedroom that overlooked the beach.

Frank glanced back at Gerard, before turning to Kat, "what really was it that you wanted to talk to him about?" He asked, narrowing his eyes a little. "I could tell you were lying. I didn't tell him that though."

"Good." Kat snapped, letting out a sigh. "It's... fuck... Frank, it's our dad, he's said he's not coming back and-"

"Gerard's really not going to like that." Frank let out a sigh, biting his lip, and remembering what he'd promised Gerard a few days ago.

"Yeah, so it's important he doesn't find out, and I'm going to try to fix it, okay?" Kat stressed, and Frank just nodded, not liking the idea of lying to Gerard, but if Kat could get their dad to change his mind then Gerard wouldn't have to be upset. "You really have to go now."

Frank nodded, making his way over to the window, "tell him I didn't just like leave when he wakes up, please?" Frank turned back.

Kat nodded, growing impatient. "Yeah, of course, please just go, okay?"

"Yeah, sorry." Frank turned back to the window, pushing it open and sliding through it, making his way to the ground as Kat closed it behind him.

He caught his breath for a moment, staring out at the ocean, before he noticed a piece of paper that had gotten stuck on his jacket as he'd made it out of Gerard's bedroom. He picked it up, wondering how he could give it back to Gerard, and deciding that he should just wait until the morning, until he really looked at the piece of paper.

Because it was within seconds that Frank found himself recognising a certain blue ink and a certain messy style of writing, and fuck, this must have just found its way here, by the wind or something, because Frank really could not stomach the idea of Gerard being the one to have written those fucking letters.

-

ayyyayyayayyayay shit has gone down !!! i actually love this fic so much help me. votes and comments would be super cool for real also i lov u guys super lots !!!! :) :) !!! :) :)!!!