I groaned upon seeing my own reflection in the mirror. Seriously, I didn't know I had such an ugly morning face.

Oh well, reality check.

Not every girl that slept late wakes up early in the morning looking like a beauty queen.

Especially if that girl happened to be so stressed out over her persistent senpai who wouldn't give up on her despite knowing the fact that she already had a boyfriend. Really, that girl would surely wake up looking like a petrified fossil because of stress and sleep-deprivation.

"Fuck my life," I murmured as I gave my fuzzy hair a quick smooth before finally deciding to get ready for school.

Only when I came down for breakfast did I realize that it was almost time for Imayoshi-senpai to leave for school and that I had to hurry if I didn't want to end up seeing him outside their gate again.

It was his daily habit to come to school twenty minutes early before the start of class.

Granted, he never really told me about that out loud, but I knew him enough to know that. I've known him for years---all my life, actually. He was my bestfriend. And even though we're in an awkward situation now, with these images of what used to be and this unbridgeable distance between us in my head, I would still find myself wishing our friendship back.

I bit my lower lip, feeling the heaviness settle in my gut. And for a moment there, I wanted to just go straight up into his house and tell him to leave me alone. But then how could I, when he was the one who always made sure I would never stumble?

After all the things I said to him last night, I wasn't honestly ready to lose him. I realized it when he turned his back on me. So I stopped him... Because I knew that if he'd take one step away from me, he'd never come back.

I knew it was for the best, but it was just too painful.

At least, for now.

Because I knew I'd eventually get used to this---get used to him not being by my side. So while I was working on that, I had no choice but to avoid him for as long as possible. Maybe that way, I would be able to convince him to give up.

Taking a solemn breath, I gathered myself then opened the door, but I couldn't make myself to move quite yet. I let my eyes sweep over the two-storey house across, looking for a certain raven-haired guy with glasses, and sighing in relief upon making sure that he was nowhere.

I knew I could do this.

I had to do this.

***

I was already depositing my rubber shoes in my locker when I heard my name.

At first, an irrational side of me thought it was Imayoshi-senpai, but I immediately chastised myself for even thinking about him in the first place---and after I just found my resolve to avoid him from now on. I looked up, searching for the voice, just as Arima Sakura-senpai emerged from the crowd of students milling around their own lockers.

I paused for a second, wondering if it was really my name she called. I mean, we weren't even close.

"Hi, Ayame-chan," she greeted, giving me a friendly smile that showcased her perfect teeth. She was really pretty and nice, and I knew every living thing in Touo was aware of that. "I heard you were sick. Are you okay now?"

Instinctively, I returned her smile.

"Yeah, I am now. Thanks for asking," I replied, as politely as I could.

I knew she wasn't exactly my friend, but she was really being nice to me so I found myself relaxing in her presence. Her pink lips were still pulled into a kind smile and her blue eyes regarded me with a coolness that made it seem as though we'd known each other for years. Plus, she just called me by my given name.

"I'm really glad," she said, "Shou-kun was very worried."

I frowned. "Shou-kun?"

"Yes, your brother."

My mouth automatically opened to answer Oh yeah upon realizing who we were talking about, as I usually claimed Imayoshi Shouichi as my older brother before, but I suddenly stopped myself before those two words could come out.

And I didn't know why.

"He was?" I responded instead, not quite looking at her.

"Yes, he's been worried sick. He kept on asking Sakurai-kun how you were."

At that point, I swallowed, forcing my voice to remain casual. "I'm okay now, he doesn't need to worry anymore."

I was glad when the bell rang, prompting us to scramble into our respective classrooms. Any normal person would have taken it as a signal that the conversation was over.

But not her.

She, for some reason, chose this as the perfect moment to hook her arm around mine and say, "I hope we can be friends from now on, Ayame-chan. I want everything to be perfect between me and Shou-kun."

To say I was surprised would have been an understatement. I blinked my eyes, unable to immediately process what she just said, half-wondering if I had heard her right. But when I saw the honey glow on her smooth cheeks, probably the result of her mentioning Shou-kun, only I was sure that there was no problem with my hearing.

Like, seriously.

So finally, I gave a small nod. "Sure, of course, Senpai. No problem."

I swear to her pink lipgloss, I just saw her sparkle, as if an angel dropped by to shower her a million smidges of glimmering little silver dust. "Really? I'm so happy."

I tried not to show to her how awkward for me this whole friendship thing. I mean, she didn't know that her Shou-kun was in love with me and all, right?

So I did what nice people like me would normally do.

Smile and be happy for her.

***

Life comes in different varieties of either-or situations.

Either you win or someone else does, either you're right or someone else is, either you continue being dependent on others or you do something to grow and become stronger.

Which was why I decided I was done being like a helpless little girl in Imayoshi-senpai's sight.

I wanted to change. I wanted to be someone else completely---someone who didn't need him anymore; someone who is strong enough to stand on my own two feet without needing his help in almost everything.

I'd try not to stumble.

And even if I do, I knew Ryo would be there to hold my hand.

So first things first, I asked Momoi Satsuki to help me catch up with the lessons I missed---since her notes alone didn't really help at all. Apparently, I needed the owner to explain everything to me orally. Convincing her wasn't hard, Momoi is a very nice friend. She's the type of person who would never hesitate to offer a hand when somebody needs it.

"Did you get it this time, Ayapyon?"

I nodded my head, smiling in satisfaction as I stared at the equations she laid out on a pad for my better understanding. "Yes. I finally get it, Momopyon."

"That's good," she said, "as long as you understand the first one, you'll get the second and third items right. It's basically the same formula you have to use with the other two."

I gave her a smile. "Thanks a lot. I really owe you."

She paused for a second, studying the look on my face, before finally asking, "Is there something wrong?"

"Eh? What do you mean?"

"You look... weird." It looked like she was struggling to find the right words to say. "It seems like something's really off. Are you and Sak-kun okay?"

Well, apparently, she nicknamed my boyfriend Sak-kun.

I wasn't surprised anymore that she had noticed my distress. We'd known each other for almost a year now. We instantly became friends the moment we got paired up in a Science project and discovered that we were sharing some common interests.

Momoi had always been pretty---the kind of pretty that seemed to make other girls jealous just by watching her flip her hair. Plus, she was always surrounded with hot basketball guys (specially the Generation of Miracles) so all the more reason bitches were inspired to harbor hate for her---which never failed to inspire my inner serial killer side as well.

I mean, Momoi was one of the nicest girls I knew, she didn't deserve any hate. Aside from Imayoshi-senpai, she's the best friend that I've got. And I was more than glad that she's by my side now.

"Ryo and I are perfectly okay. Don't worry, Momopyon." I assured her, coupled with a genuine smile.

She seemed to buy it, though not fully for she still looked bothered, and held out her arms to wrap me in a hug. "Just tell me if there's a problem between you and Sak-kun, okay? You can always count on me..." She trailed off, as if she had forgotten something, then added, "And I'm sure Imayoshi-senpai will be here to help you make everything better if ever."

I bit back a curse.

Ironic.

How could Imayoshi Shouichi possibly make everything better when he, himself, was the problem?

But of course, Momoi didn't know that, so I hid my discomfort and pretended I was 101% okay by the time she pulled away.

We continued our chat for another few minutes more before Nagasaki-sensei, our balding teacher, entered the room and started his boring class.

***

I thought I'd been lucky enough not to bump into Imayoshi-senpai for the rest of the day, but the moment I walked out of the classroom after dismissal, I knew my luck had run out.

The guy I'd been dreading to see was leaning against the wall by the door, waiting for me to come out. We held each other's gaze for a moment, making me stop dead on my tracks. I couldn't make my legs move even if I wanted to.

"Hey," he said.

Quickly, I turned and scrambled away, feeling the strange throbbing of my damn heart. I ignored his calls for me to stop as I walked my way out of his sight. I didn't even care about how stupid I looked like. All I knew was that I had to put as much distance as I could between us.

Thankfully, he didn't come after me.

So after texting Ryo that I couldn't come to watch him practice, I hurried out of school. I knew he was kind of expecting it since I had just recovered from a fever and my parents strictly told me to come home early and avoid strenous activities for the next few days to make sure the sickness wouldn't change its mind and come back.

But what I wasn't expecting at home was the sight of Touo's Basketball Team Captain sitting cozily on our couch while my Mom was busy preparing something in the kitchen.

I was petrified.

"How-- What are you--"

My head was starting to spin with all the questions that came rushing into me. What was he doing here? How did he get here before me? What about basketball practice? Why did he look so angry-- Oh wait, I knew why.

He knew I was avoiding him.

He ran his gaze over my clearly horrified state, his face hardening as he looked at me in the eyes. Then he said in a low, restrained voice, "I'm here to help you study, right, Aya?"

I straightened, gathering myself. "I can study on my own, Senpai. I don't need your--"

"Aya-chan, take Shouichi-kun upstairs so you can start your review. I'll bring some snacks later," my mother's voice from the kitchen cut me off.

A corner of his lips twisted into a lopsided smirk. "Ain't that right."

To be honest, I knew I should have known that this was coming. I couldn't avoid him forever---I mean, the day wasn't even over yet for crying out loud! What the heck was I thinking?

I groaned miserably as I trudged towards the staircase, feeling his intense stare all the while as he silently followed from behind.

Indeed, I didn't know life had an immense hatred for me.

With Imayoshi-senpai, I had no escape.

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I know you're probably getting tired of my sorry and you want to throw random things at me OTL, but I'd still apologize anyway.

I'M REALLY SORRY IF IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE.